Update

I went to a food coaching session thursday night....i thought it went well...but now i dont think it did. The way the food coaching works is they dont set a calorie limit...you fill in a food diary...everything you ate and drank and then they make some suggestions of changes.

I think being a calorie counting girl I need a number. Also im not a fan of being told what not to eat. Like she looked at it and said...you obviously have a sugar addiction (and she is prolly right) but whenever I think about weight loss it needs to be something I can do long term. This weeks recommendation was no honey on my weetbix....that one is do-able...no bread at lunch time on days I dont exercise...this i where I come unstuck. Its enough to have to eat protein and vegies at dinner time....i like bread i will admit it...i eat multigrain bread so i dont think it is the worst thing in the world...and its quick and easy and i actually enjoy sandwiches...i tried to cut out bread today (i didnt have cereal either) and it just led to me craving carbs. The bottom line is when i got down to 79 kilos i ate bread every single day, i dont think cutting out bread is the answer. What worked for me was controlling my calories....not eating grains in the evening...fitting in some treats. So in line with that im not gonna go back to food coaching...i dont need their eating recommendations...as fiona has said many times...nutritionally i prolly know more then most people anyway when it comes to nutrition.

So monday morning I will weigh in and make monday my weigh in day...2 weeks of calorie cycling at 1528 calories seems a good range. After 2 weeks I would want to be down at least 2 kilos...if not I will cut by 100 calories a day. This is what previously worked...calorie cycling, eating clean foods with some limited treats, exercising well (the exercise part is going good!). And the truth is...i need to learn to be accountable to me!

Yesterday I booked a trip to Sydney and the gold coast....I am hovering around 102 kilos at the moment and would love to be in the 80's by then...so thats a goal! :)

I was at the physio today...have had a sore lower back...turns out i was very tight around my spine and she thinks i have strained or sprained a facet joint in my lower spine...i go back to see her on thursday....till then no jarring movements (jumps, running etc) and have to be very careful when lifting. My trainer will not be happy to hear about the no jarring movements (but i am! lol no box jumps yay!)

That said...exercise is going well...i am really making progress there....and i will make a lot more effort to update this journal more regularly...time for action :)

So amazingly the scales said 100.2 kilos this morning - amazing! Lets hope it continues (thats a huge loss so I am expecting to fluctuate back up somewhat)

The aching in my right foot woke me up last night...I am really not looking forward to this winter if this is a indication of how my foot is going to handle it!

Back at work today...my throat feels fine and coughing stopped but I feel a bit weak like I am about to faint or throw up (or both hah!) i think its just cos i have been stuck in bed for a few days this usually happens after I have been sick. Im going to the gym tonight (boxing class and PT) so hopefully it will be better by then.

Not much else going on...enjoy your day all :)

Sunday!

Food is going good! :) This morning the scales said 101.5 kilos....it would be nice to under 100 kilos by thursday but not overly likely!

I have realised that over the past few years I have become complacent. I put the choice back into this journey. What I mean by that is when I was successfully losing weight...it wasnt a option it just had to be done....but these days its more like the whole....oh but I want a [insert treat] oh bugger it what does it matter if I have it? So its something I really need to work on...its not a option. I really want and NEED to get to goal....non negotiable.

I am feeling better the antibiotics have obviously kicked in.

I have been getting a lot of ankle joint aches lately. They arent injured or anything just get very achey in this colder weather.

Watched season 1 of Khloe and Lamar today - I am such a sucker for the kardashians! lol hahhaha my favourite show at the moment lol ;)

Gym tomorrow....30 minute boxing class and PT session (lets hope I dont have to go on that revolting cross trainer haha!)

We are getting our bonus this week wooooooooo hoooooooooooo.....so by the end of the week I should have booked and paid for my holiday for september....cannot wait to see how much it gets and what I can afford! Enjoy your day/night all! :)

Its been a week or so since I last updated...slack eh?

I went back to food coaching on thursday night...Im hoping the new food coach can help me figure out why I fluctuate so much. I had a session on thursday and she asked me what I normally eat in a day and made a couple of small changes straight away. Im kinda slack with breakfast and often dont have it till like 10am...so she wants me eating that as soon as I wake and I have also changed it to a protein shake and a banana....mostly cos she wants me eating protein with each meal and also cos its easy at 5.30 or 6.30 in the morning. Then a morning snack of 10 almonds. Lunch she wants me having a sandwich but with no cheese, and no processed meats. So they are a few small changes so far. She also knew of PCOS and had recently been to a seminar on it...so that kind of knowledge can only help :)

My PT sessions are going well as well. She seems very focused on breaking my fears and trying to get me to enjoy the gym. I dont think I will ever enjoy the gym...its a necessary evil....im not athletic etc and thats fine....as long as it gets my end result. I do 3 sessions a week...just as I did with Fiona....I think 3 is a nice number...I know it seems expensive...but i think you make more progress with 3....one session a week I dont think really makes much of a impact. The main things we seem to work on is running on the blasted treadmill....and box jumps...neither am I a fan of! lol. In reality I would prefer to do boxing but since I started attending my trainers boxing classes we dont tend to do it in PT. The good thing tho is mentally I am feeling somewhat better at the gym. I now do my PT session plus each week 1 boxing class, 2 RPM classes. Which as I write that I realise I really am now not really doing too much specially when I compare it to what I use to do...bah !

So today has been a good day, my sister is in Adelaide for the weekend so we spent it shopping and eating - oops! No i actually didnt eat ridiculously....weetbix for breakfast...a small sumo salad (which are pretty tiny)....a mini cupcake and skim hot chocolate...a small gelato and a steak burger and fries at hogs breath...not great....but its not binging its just having a few extravagances.

But that said today I was thinking I really need to knuckle down. When thinking over the last 5-6 weeks prolly 80% of the time my eating has been spot on but there was some bad moments, which is prolly why its been so up and down. Friday i did organise to go back to food coaching session. So that will be thursday night.

I have decided that in September I am either going on a cruise (fingers crossed) or 5 nights in Sydney....then also I want to do the city to bay run on sept 21. So enough floundering around....time to get focused as of monday I will do 1400 calories a day no high and low calorie days at least for a bit....I just need to get some consistency and consistency loses.

This weeks workout looks like this:

monday : 30 minute boxing + 30 minute PT (maybe try some stairclimbing or some running on treadmill)
tuesday : 45 minutes RPM + 30 minute PT
wednesday : 45 minutes RPM + 30 minutes treadmill
thursday : 45 minutes cardio (stairs/xtrainer)
friday : 45 minutes cardio + 30 minutes PT
saturday : rest day
sunday : 45 minute work out at the local football oval

So weigh in monday morning...I will use that as my official weigh ins but also weigh thursday night at the gym. If I religiously apply myself there is no reason why i cannot lose weight. I'd really like to weigh in the 80's by the time of the holiday....focus kazz focus!

Update!

Wellllllllllllllllllllllllllll! lol Low carbing is just not for me lol. Its not that I miss the bread etc but I like to eat meals I enjoy I just believe if you dont you wont stick to a plan....and I dont like protein foods enough for them to make up a huge proportion of my eating. So back to normal things tomorrow.

On thinking about it today...I think it would be better to even stay at this weight and just work on getting fitter like if thats the worse thing then thats not the worse thing in the world.

Thats not to say I am giving up on losing weight .... im not....im very focused on losing weight. My trainer has really been focused on conquering my fears lately....and with that the two goals have been running on the treadmill and box jumps and we are certainly making progress with both of them. Several times when we have been doing the running Tamika has commented on me running in the city to bay (a 12km run) which is in september. If I am going to run in it I really need to decide within the next few weeks as I would need to start training in June. My current workouts are pretty good....my average week is looking like this:

monday : 30 minutes boxing + 30 minutes PT
tuesday : 45 minutes RPM + 30 minutes PT
wednesday : 45 minutes RPM
thursday : either 45 minutes body pump or 45 minutes RPM
friday : 30 minutes PT
saturday : 60 minutes body pump + 60 minutes body balance

So thats pretty solid exercise...I think if I could add 3 runs a week to it....then exercise wise i would be good to go. I couldnt definitely add a 30 minute run on wednesday and friday nights I think. Most weeks I could do a long one on either sunday or monday as well.

The trainer of our running group has given me a running program before...altho its not for a 12km run....I might message her and see if she has a 12 week program I could use.

The other thing is I think I will go back to food coaching...so think I will ring tomorrow and book in with a new food coach for this coming week. My previous food coach is only available wednesday night and is away any way at the moment...so someone fresh would be good i think

Calorie/Carb Cycling

So....for a while now my eating has been quite good. No binging...no bad cravings its been great. And while I have been eating better and my exercise routine has really improved I am losing a lil weight but nowhere near my potential.

For a while (several months if not longer) i have thought about going paleo. For a couple of reasons....high protein no grains strikes me as the best way to really change my body shape. The other is I have a lot of issues with my ears blocking and sometimes vertigo at night when I roll over and my doctor says this is due to congestion and its definitely worse when drinking milk! It really clicked the other day when I had some milk and within 20 minutes my ear blocked! And was blocked for hours and when you work in a call centre that is not good! Anyway while I saw benefits to paleo I knew I couldnt stick to it day after day...I am just the person who does need some grains!!! So i remembered I had bought chris powells book on carb cycling altho I had never read it LOL.

Anyway its a great book! One of the great things I loved about it is how you need to make promises to yourself and STICK to them. So we really transform and believe in ourselves more when we make a promise to ourselves (like i will drink 3 litres of water per day) and then see that promise out. We do it one promise at a time but the more we do that....with every promise we stick to day by day....our belief in ourselves in increases and this is where transformation happens....while its not about the "plan" it really resonated with me!

So in relation to the plan when I first read it in the book my bthday and a reward day ;) So it will work like this:

monday : low carb
tuesday : low carb
wednesday : high carb
thursday : low carb
friday : low carb
saturday : high carb
sunday : reward day

So the way it works is...you eat 3 meals and 2 snacks....every meal and snack has 1 protein serve (for a woman) and unlimited vegies. On a low carb day you also eat a fat serve with every meal...but they are smart fat serves....so its things like olive oil, cheese, avocado, salad dressing,peanut butter etc. So for example my first low carb day looks like this:

breakfast: protein shake (made with almond milk)
snack:Greek yoghurt and 10 almonds
lunch:150 grams cooked chicken breast with salad of tomato and cucumbers and salad dressing
snack:100 grams cottage cheese and 1 bega stringer
dinner:150 grams (raw) pork steak plus salad and salad dressing

So as you can see incredibly clean...its actually a lot of food especially the amounts of protein. But you are only eating like 2 days straight then I have a high carb day! So the high carb day (wednesday and saturday) will look like this:

breakfast: protein shake (made with almond milk)
snack: Greek yoghurt and 25 grams oats/muesli
lunch: 150 grams cooked chicken breast, salad, 1/2 cup cooked brown rice
snack: Protein shake with almond milk with 25 grams oats
dinner:150 grams cooked chicken breast, salad, plus banana (for after)

So basically as you can say....low carb days you eat fats....high carb days you dont. Reward days which is sundays he recommends up to 2400 calories, still eating protein every meal and focusing on eating in moderation. I am only going to eat up to 2200. The first few weeks I will weigh each morning to monitor and see how my body responds to different days (especially the reward day).

Based on how well my body has responded in the past to calorie cycling I think it will respond really well to this plan. If no real change after a few weeks I will go back to food coaching but I am focused on this working.

Weigh in update :)

Forgot to do a weigh in update! I lost 2.6 kilos so back down to 99.1 kilos. :)

Friday night I did a 45 minute boxing class and then straight after PT. My trainer taught the boxing class...afterwards she was like...did u have fun? hah...really not sure why she thought she might get a positive response to that lol. While i kinda enjoy the punching the whole getting down and doing things like pushups, mountain climbers, burpees etc im just not fit enough for that. Then pretty much soon as the class was over she had me doing intervals on the treadmill at a speed of 9.5kmph i was still holding on but holy crap....i hope she doesnt say to do 10kmph this week...i did it once...and i swear several hours later i thought my lungs were still going to explode....id kinda prefer we back of the speed a bit and work on me running without holding on....but that said i dont think i am going to get a choice in the matter LOL

Yesterday went out to a local "paleo cafe" with Martine. I had a salad of pear, walnuts and beetroot with chicken and a coconut water. Was super nice!

I am only working 3 days this week...thursday and friday is my days off and as it turns out my sister is down for the weekend so i am taking the weekend off as annual leave.

Tomorrow i am working 8-4 then i will be doing a 30 minute boxing class *rolls eyes* and a 30 minute PT session.

Have a good week all!

Back on the treadmill

I havent done a post for a few days. Mostly cos I have had long days and just so tired!

I had my last diet coke saturday night and havent had one since :) I am still eating my protein bars cos on investigation they have no crap items in them and when i researched a bit on Jillians thoughts on protein bars...it was quest bars that she recommended :)

The scales have been moving down nicely this week. I weigh in tomorrow and expecting a nice solid loss.

Ive really been exercising hard lately. Tuesday I did some cardio then 45 minutes RPM and then PT and did the exact same last night. Burnt over 900 calories both nights. Last night Tamika had me on the blasted treadmill running intervals. She is like your going to run at 8.5km/hr I am like I cannot do that...she is all like yes you can your stronger and fitter then you think...im like....my feet wont be able to keep up....well in the end i was doing 1 minute intervals at a speed of 9km/hr admittedly holding on I was convinced tho I couldnt do it...apparantly now I am fine with the speed the next goal is to do it without holding on. Then Tamika wanted me to do box jumps with 3 raises under the step....that didnt happen tho i just dont think I can jump that high....but apparantly friday we are doing it again.

When i was on the treadmil my trainer was like "you have to feel good you know we have hit some goals lately" i was like yeh...lol (exhausted and unconvinced) and then she was like...the box jumps (with just 2 raises) back on the treadmill and running...yeh yeh haha ;)

Tonight i might go to the gym for body pump...undecided as I have been a bit tired and have a scratchy throat so thinking it might be better to have a night of rest so im all good for tomorrow.

Wish me luck with tomorrows weigh in!

Weigh in result :)

So my weight gain from early last week didnt go away by weigh in day and in fact it had increased by 200 grams...so I gained 2.2 kilos this week....back to 101.1 kilos....i was a bit pissed yesterday morning but the reality is I know to gain 2.2 kilos of fat I would have to eat 15000 calories over my maintenance level which I sure as chit didnt do lol.

In relation to my food and processed foods etc....im making one small change....i drank diet coke all the time till i got down to 79 kilos when i previously lost the weight so I dont think it will stop me from losing BUT if it gets to it i will cut it out. So i have been having a quest protein bar in the afternoon and 2 of their peanut butter cups in the morning. The PB cups are 240 calories, 20 grams of protein so I thought it was a good option but of course it is processed....so i will cut that out this week and change it to a banana and 30 grams of tahini...similar calories not as much protein but a good fat but of course a banana and tahini is only minimally processed...plus i love them both :) I will keep having my protein bar in the afternoon and see how it goes. If this change doesnt give me consistent losses I have some other changes I will make. I am lucky tho in one way in that I have done this before successfully and I know what I ate before to lose the weight...so fingers crossed.

I went shopping today :) After body pump I went and got my eyebrows waxed and went to target and bought a pair of gloves, beanie, pair of flanalette pj's and some bonds undies (geeezus they are expensive!)...i then went to Lorna Janes and bought 4 tank tops and a zip up jacket and cos I spent over $200 they gave me a pair of navy flashdance pants (dont fit me yet but WILL)

Despite the weight loss not making huge inroads (I am lower then a month ago altho only slightly) there has been progress in other ways (its not only about the scales!) Since I had my lil meltdown about 6 weeks ago lol and increased my PT to 3 sessions a week I have made some progress....I am now doing box jumps....admittedly only with 2 lifts under the step but box jumps are box jumps lol (but i have a sinking feeling the lifts may increase to 3 this week), I am back running on the treadmill doing sprints...maximum only 1 min 15 seconds....but considering how I was on the treadmill a few weeks ago thats a massive improvement LOL. My cravings have subsided which is fantastic, I have noticed my skin on my face is softer and mentally I feel better...not perfect but a massive improvement. The weight loss will come I dont doubt that just as before when I lost the weight....lots of ups and downs its all good :)

So I was 101.7 kilos yesterday morning...happily this morning I was 101.1 kilos :)

Sunday and blooming fluid

Well ive gone back to daily weighing (my trainer wont be happy about that eeek!) I lost last week and on friday morning i weighed 99.5 kilos....this morning 101.3 kilos :( Its not that I have eaten over calories or anything but I think its cos I am ate too much sodium on friday and saturday. Friday night I have sumo salad which is hugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee sodium (over 1000 milligrams) and then saturday I had ravioli carbonara for dinner which is super high in sodium too (thanks to the bacon) On the plus side everyone at work had dominos for lunch on saturday and I just had my sandwich :) So I think sumo salad and pasta I will avoid at least for a while especially sumo salad. I can always have on saturday nights a yiros or a hamburger as a treat. For the moment I am not calorie cycling either...leaving it at 1400 calories a day. Not sure if I will be able to have a loss this weekend....will just need to do my best to get back under 99.5 kilos by xmas.

I do think its time to pull back on the diet coke...altho I am not ready to actually quit. So will see how I go the next few days only having diet coke after dinner and drinking water the rest of the day.

This week I am working 9-5 so not as much gym time this week. But tomorrow night hopefully manage 15-20 minutes cardio followed by 60 minutes or body balance.

I am also going to speak to my trainer this week about my weight training. I am not getting sore after my pump or PT sessions. So I suspect its time to up the ante (much to my disgust! lol) so I am going to talk to her about whether I need to do higher weights and also whether I need to do another weight session per week (she has previously written me a weight program so might need to do that once a week) anyway will wait and see what Tamika says about it all.

Anyway not much else going on....have a good night all :)

Weigh in results

And its weigh in day :) I lost a fab 1.7 kilos this week so very happy with this. So down to 99.5 kilos. So now it is a case of building on that week after week.

It was the first week in the longest time I was on track with both food and exercise. This week i only worked 4 days so it was easier to get into the gym more...so i did 2 body pump classes, 3 RPM classes, 1 body balance class and 3 PT sessions....not a bad haul if I do say so myself! And obviously the scales awarded me :)

The only negative really was the damn treadmill i still feel so unstable on it. Tamika had me on it at a speed of 8.5 last night and I had to ask her to back it off cos it was just way too fast for me. I dont feel like i get proper form or anything but just me moving my legs in a scurrying manner as fast as I can to avoid falling.

Tonight its of to the gym for a PT session of strength and stability. A short workout as I wont be staying back on doing cardio (not on a damn friday night!lol)

Tomorrow i have to work .... then I have sunday off.

Got an award at work today which was a nice bonus! Not much else to say....have a good friday all :)

omg ANOTHER good day! These are becoming a habit - loving it!! lol Yesterday I burnt 1154 calories I cannot remember the last time I have burnt that much. I went to the gym...did 20 minutes on the xtrainer...then a 45 minute RPM class...then a 30 minute PT session of boxing and then at the very end of the session she had me do two 45 second running intervals on the treadmill. After the runs my trainer says about me doing the city to bay and beating my time i did when i previously did it...i was like....when did i say i was doing that??? lol she was like you told me you were going too...so apparantly i may be running it this year (its a 12km run). There is a running group at the gym....im tempted to join....i know the instructor so thats all good....but im not a good group person (as im shy initially) and im soooooooooooooo slow....im seriously a snail....so that puts me off. So we will have a think about it. I know they are training for the mothers day classic at the moment so no point joining yet....im sure they will advertise it a bit more prior to them commencing training for the city to bay.

Food wise things are going really good. Restricting myself to a maximum of 2 slices of bread per day (I still have weetbix for breakfast) but restricting the bread really seems to keep my carb cravings in check, I really am not having the cravings at all. So for the first time in a long time I think I will make progress as long as I keep things up.

My PT sessions have now changed to later in the evening on both tuesday and thursday nights (6.30pm for both) which works better....also means on those nites when time allows it (when i finish work 4pm or earlier) I can do a RPM class before PT. So tomorrow night Ill do RPM and then PT and friday Ill do some cardio (thinking some stair climbing and xtrainer) followed by PT. As i am working till 5pm all next week,,,next weeks workouts wont be as much as this week (i just need to make the most of my time the weeks i can be there earlier)...so will look like this:

monday : 30 minutes boxing + 60 mins body balance (I may not be able to make the boxing but ill try and get there on time)
tuesday : 20 minutes cardio + PT
wednesday :
thursday : 20 mins cardio + PT
friday : PT
saturday : Body pump

Then the week after i finish work at 3.30pm so i will be able to make crap loads of classes so i guess it will all balance out lol in the end

Okies of I go - enjoy all!

More weight work or not....

Things are going pretty good at the moment :)

Food is good. Ive taken a few days of this week which is enabling me to have some extra gym time :) Today I did pump and balance. Tomorrow I am doing RPM and PT session of cardio, and wednesday body pump at lunchtime then will be back to the gym for RPM in the evening. My main concern at the moment is if i am doing enough weight work. While this week I am doing pump quite a few times...as a general rule I only manage to do pump once a week at the most (the times just dont work well with work and my PT sessions), then I do one weight session with my trainer and one stability/strength session (its really more stability work then strength) so I am a lil like....am I really doing everything I could be doing for success...

I ordered some quest bars friday morning (they come from the US) and they arrived this morning! They are at work waiting for me :) How quick service is that????

Not much else is going on...things are going good...altho I suspect my nutrition still needs slightly more fine tuning....but thats something I am still pondering on :)

Good vibes and LJ Shopping :)

I feel like I am in such a good place today :) The funny thing is the scales are the same as they were 2 weeks ago. On thursday night I said to my trainer....only lost 100 grams this week. She was like yes but think of the other gains you had this week. After my issue with the assisted dip machine early in the week I was like I dont feel I trained good this week. She was like you did...you went back to RPM class (hadnt done it due to various reasons for about 5-6 weeks)...you conquered box jumps....you ran on the treadmill...and maybe your lean mass changed as well...it was still a good week.

Someone elses perspective eh? Its needed sometimes. Its been surprising to me I had such a small loss this week considering how well I have eaten but if I just continue it will go down again.

The conquering those box jumps (even tho they were awfully low) was huge to me. I have felt for a long time...this is it...I cannot do what I use too and nothing improves....when we first went to do the box jumps my response was "NO" so I feel very accomplishing (is that a word?) at the moment :)

Today I did body pump....then I went shopping at Lorna Jane! I havent bought clothes from there for sooooooooooooooooooooooo long! I tried about 9 tops on lol. I bought one of their mandy tshirts (best t shirts i love them) and then I bought two tank tops....Ive attached pics below....they were both size large but I am so happy to have some nice workout tops that fit me again - it will hopefully help me feel a bit better at the gym!

Box Jumps and other stuff!

So I went to the gym last night and it was kinda a big night! :)

As I mentioned in my other post yesterday I was not going to say "I dont like this" so the session starts and my trainer goes...box jumps....im like...no LOL. She sets it up so its on the lowest step it can be on and I swear to gawd it took me like 10 minutes of talking myself into it to be able to do one baby box jump lol.

Then she says to me after i had done about 6...keep doing them but jump as high as you can. So I do. So she raises the step one level. I swear it took me another 5 minutes to convince myself to do it again but at the higher level LOL. But I did do it in the end. My trainer was like...that gave me tingles up my spine haha.

So then she is like...10 box jumps then 10 burpees (against the step) then 6 walking planks..survived that! lol Then she is like...we are going to run on the treadmill UGH...the one blessing was she said I could hold on when running but not when walking. So I ended up doing some 30 second sprints at speeds between7 and 8.5 which is HUGE for me (I know its not fast for others but is for me) and some of the running she had me doing at a incline of 5 as well...thought it was going to kill me. I was a lil concerned about flying off the end of the treadmill but especially when she had me on the incline i was more concerned with my breathing..so I survived that lol. Then we did some sideplanks.

I did manage to get to the 20 minute mark of the session before i said "i dont like this" hah ;)

In the beginning my trainer said we are doing everything you really dont like...that she wants to conquer my fears so our sessions can run smoother. Then after she was like did you like that session? I was like actually yeh....i prefer doing circuit style then cardio equipment. She was surprised! lol She said she thought I would walk out and cancel my membership LOL

But I feel good...I feel like last nights session was accomplishing :)

I did weigh in....same weight as 2 weeks ago....oh well...hopefully a better loss next week!

Happy anzac day all :)

Negative attitude

My negative attitude at the gym really needs some focus. I think I mentioned yesterday I say "I dont like this" a lot - and when I say a lot...I mean for every exercise I do...well practically every exercise I do....I think about the only one I dont do it for is chest press lol. So I really need to stop doing that. When I was talking to my trainer last night I was saying "I will never be the person who enjoys the gym" and she replied the amount of times you say "I dont like this" I believe that - oops! But when I went home and was thinking about it I use to LOVE body combat (too bad I fall over in that class too much), boxing, body pump and body balance...I really use to enjoy them. I use to enjoy running too...to think I use to run 10kms every saturday seems insane....I doubt I could run 3kms at the moment LOL and I use to love the running. Of course being terrified of treadmills these days doesnt help altho all my running use to be outdoors with fiona...and I do get tempted to see if fiona wants to start running again but its basically a "training session" which is $50 a session and really with doing 3 PT sessions a week whilst I could manage it...I think that may leave things too tight for comfort.

I jumped on the scales this morning...hadnt been on them for nearly 2 weeks...and there was only 100 grams different to what I weighed at last weigh in :( Not saying its not deserved last week with easter I did have hot x buns, lindt gold bunnies etc...but I still did expect a loss. I will monitor things over the next few days....Ive been snacking on fruit...but maybe I should make one of those snacks a protein based snack. I will see how things pan out the next few days.

Tomorrow it is Anzac Day but I am working. Then I have 5 days off YAY :) I am going to go to some classes during the day on my days off .... I really need to focus on "gym positivity!" lol

Tonight I am off for PT and then the gym is closed tomorrow and back on saturday morning for pump and balance - have a good public holiday all :)

Assisted dips machine = ugh!

So saturday night I decided it was time to get my eating back to how it was several years ago. So back to clean eating. The big thing with this is limiting my bread intake! I have been eating 4-5 slices a day when I was successfully losing my weight I was limiting it to 2 slices a day. So back to that and limiting my processed food (and upping my fruit and vegies)

I wasnt expecting it to be too hard - but I was wrong! I am sure its just the eating less sugar due to the bread. I have also cut back on my diet coke (but am still drinking it). I have had a mix of sore stomach (I think when I cut back on the diet coke then had one it didnt like it), headaches, tiredness etc. I feel better today but lets see how I am by this afternoon (thats when it is worse)

Last night I gymmed it....45 minutes on the cross trainer then 30 minutes of PT (weights). Burnt a total of 501 calories. Tonight I am doing RPM then 30 minute PT session (strength and stability work) . My arms are a bit sore today...she was very mean to my triceps :( She wanted me to use the assisted dips machine which I had never used before OMG that thing is terrifying! lol. I was like a baby on it "can I not just do ordinary tricep dips?" lol...my trainer was like "oh this is like the treadmill...we going to need to do babysteps" lol And I must say I hate that....hate being scared of stuff and hate feeling incompetent :(

Anyway thats enuff for today - enjoy all! :)

Happy easter all :)

Happy easter all!

I am having no easter treats this weekend. I had half a hot cross bun on wednesday (a caramel flavoured one...who knew they came in such flavours!) and then 2 small hot x buns on thursday....then work gave us a 100 gram egg on wednesday (thats 500 calories right there!) and then thursday work gave us a lindt gold bunny also 100 grams....so I have overeaten hot x buns and chocolate even before the weekend started lol. So i figure enough is enough....no more for me this year :)

Foodwise things are going pretty good. (Apart from the easter treats! lol) Exercise wise things are going pretty good...but it is actually time to up the ante! I really need to do a hour of cardio per day...on top of things like PT. I dont want to go back to the extremes of exercise I did when I lost the weight previously...but I think what I am doing is currently not where it should be. Ive not been 100% this week so I am taking this long weekend to rest so once tuesday comes I can throw myself into it. This weeks exercise will look like this:

monday : rest
tuesday : 45 minutes RPM + 30 minutes PT (weights)
wednesday : 30 minutes PT (cardio) and 60 minutes cardio (mix of xtrainer, rower, stairs etc)
thursday : 30 minutes PT (strength & stability) and 60 minutes cardio (mix of xtrainer, rower, stairs etc)
friday : 6km walk
saturday : 60 minutes body pump + 60 minutes body balance

One of my big goals currently is to get back to running on the treadmill. Ever since I fell I am terrified of it. I have avoided it like a plague altho Tamika has still had me go on it at times...only a few minutes at a time. But funnily enough I have walked on it faster and with a higher incline then I ever did before the fall...but I am just too terrified to do it alone. I really want to get back to feeling comfortable enough to run on it...so thats a bit of a thing currently.

My calories I am changing slightly this week (after discussion with Tamika)...so I am slightly increasing my calories on days I do PT...so will look like this:

monday : 1300
tuesday : 1450
wednesday : 1300
thursday : 1450
friday : 1450
saturday : 1800
sunday : 1300

As you can see it is basically calorie cycling....initially I was doing 1300 monday to friday and 1800 on both saturday and sunday.....its essentially the same calories just balanced a lil differently....so will see how that goes....not just on the weight loss front but how I feel in my workouts.

Enjoy your weekend all!

All going good!

While I am not updating daily or anything I do want to post the occassional post. Things are going pretty good.

The scales went down this week...was a good loss (I am trying to not focus on numbers so lets just say it was a respectable loss!)

I had really bad DOMs in my triceps this week...specifically my right tricep so I went easy exercise wise this week. I did my PT sessions (I do 3 sessions a week) but didnt do anything else. Ive never had DOMs like that before and my triceps still feel a lil tight but MUCH better then this time last week :)

With my 3 PT sessions I now do one weight session, one cardio session and one strength/stability session. My trainer has decided she will have me doing all things I hate so I will gain more confidence so I wont be concerned when doing things like her boxing class lol. Last night we were doing strength/stability and she commented I am improving...I am definitely more confident with those sessions so its really good - its a aspect of my training that really isnt about weight loss...its all about increasing my mobility and making my balance better - so it is kinda a unmeasurable part of it all...but its something in my day to day life that it will impact.

Foodwise I am doing good...my focus at the moment is to try different foods...different recipes...I have one for a Haloumi & Quinoa salad I will try tomorrow night. And I think thats a good enough update! lol Enjoy all :)

Update

Well a lot has been happening :) I recently deleted did a mass clean out of my facebook page...not because I wasnt happy with anyone or anything but with so many followers and at times opinions on what I should or shouldnt do with my weight loss i was putting some unrealistic pressures on myself. After having a mini break down and telling my trainer I wouldnt be training for a week I went in and had a chat to her. By the end of the conversation we had agreed I wouldnt do anything weight loss related for a week....so no weighing...no tracking of my food...no blogging....no facebook. It was a very enlightening week! I discussed it regularly with my trainer over that week which I think made me more aware of what these changes had done for me :) I came to the conclusion that facebook doesnt enhance my life....it doesnt add to it. So i decided I would delete everyone I didnt know personally, which I did this week. I am back on fb now....but certainly not as often as I was before :) I did track my food for the week...lol...that one was a lil hard not to do....but I did avoid weighing in for 11 days...which was a bit huge for me....and I think that had some positives...and I am only planning to weigh weekly from now on.

My brain/mind feels a lot calmer. I dont feel so manic about my weight loss. Since I had that chat with my trainer....I have been doing much better...very much on track (I am eating 1300 calories 5 days a week and 1800 calories 2 days a week) which I feel is working well.

With that said....I also decided to increase to 3 PT sessions a week...which is the same as I use to do with Fiona when things were going so well :) So now I do PT tuesday, thursday and friday nights. Tuesday nights we do weights, thursday nights we do cardio (boxing, circuit style stuff) and friday we do a mix of stability strength work. My PT sessions are going good....and especially the stability work I am getting more confident with.

I really need to work more on my confidence in attending classes. I am attending them altho not consistently cos i get so anxious about them but I am working on that.

I am SLOWLY making strides with the treadmill...after falling off it and falling flat on my face I have dreaded using it again....but my trainer keeps throwing me on it lol....tells me I cannot fear a machine. Last night I did manage to walk on it at a speed of 5 and 5.5 for a few minutes....didnt fall....she seems to think I will be running again on it at some point...cannot say I am so keen on that! LOL

My current weight is 99.9 kilos....I am honestly a lot more settled now....its not a race....I am not going to suddenly wake up a size 10....so we will take this slowly and patiently :)

What a week!

Soooooooooooo this has kinda been a eventful week and I cannot remember if I have posted any of this yet!

So....going back a bit.....ive been eating 1200-1300 calories. Over the last few weeks I started to get super tired. I noticed in my workouts I wasnt doing as well as normal...not getting a high strokes per min on the rower....struggling to focus with certain exercises....not doing as high weights on certain exercises. I knew it was possibly related to the lack of food but I figured my body would adjust and to just try and get thru it. Then last weekend I was sick all weekend (gastro, then flu-ish then a migraine). I must admit I was not only tired but i was pissed off.....annoyed by lack of progress...sick of the fact 7.5 years i still wasnt at goal....hate that I had another fall at the gym (when i fell on the treadmill...which I might say is STILL sore ffs!)...feeling too old for my gym blah blah blah the list goes on lol....

So anyway on monday I told my trainer I was taking a week off from the gym and so wouldnt be in for PT. She was a lil surprised but ok with that. I think now looking back on the week I am glad I did it....I was so tired it gave me time to get over my tiredness.

I also did some reading and came across the website www.eattoperform.com. Really interesting site....the premise of their nutrition and exercise....it to eat high enough that it supports your workouts so you can perform at your best. If you eat enough that you can lift more (as a example) then you are going to not all do better but build muscle which if you are maintaining or losing weight via the scale....if your building muscle you would be losing fat. They also dont see carbohydrates as devil food....instead they work on timing your carbs to assist your workouts. So about a hour before i workout i will eat about 50 grams of carbs (so a quest bar and a banana)....then you eat 50 grams after you workout as well as about 25 grams of protein. You eat the carbs before hand to give you the energy to perform and the carbs and protein after is to help with muscle recovery and to get glycogen in your system which is what aids your muscle in recovery.

Now the calorie limit they estimate for me is 2300 calories LOL. But i cannot imagine my cals will get that high. I am starting this tomorrow and will be eating 1500 calories (125 grams of carbs, 125 grams of protein and 55 grams of fat)...then each week i will increase my calories by 100 cals a day. Which will equate to a extra 15 grams of protein and 4 grams of fat lol. The aim is to get my protein up to 185 grams a day which should take 4 weeks....so that point I will be at 1900 calories....I suspect that is as high as I will prolly go as I cannot imagine losing at 2300 calories.

They also have what they call active and control days. Theoretically you eat the same amount of protein and fat on both days....but on your active days (workout days) i would eat 200 grams of carbs and on control days (rest days) only 100-125 grams of carbs. But because I like to do things my own way LOL...my intent is for control days (which will prolly be wednesday, thursday and sunday) will be to eat only 1500 cals. So as you can see my timing of carbs will be quite different....low carb early in the day....and then eating all my carbs from 3pm onwards....

Tomorrow I will take some measurements...some photos...and take note of my LBM, body fat and actual weight. And start. I have already submitted my food in MFP....its a heck of a lot of protein and thats prolly gonna be the biggest struggle...but Im determined to give this a solid try (at least for 3 months unless I have some ridiculous huge gain of weight from it)

Monday night I am meeting with my trainer to discuss things and to look at my workouts and just to get my head back in the game.

Have a good day/night all!

I have taken this week off the gym. I really need to make some decisions about it. There is a part of me that feels I am too old for that gym these days. Its definitely predominantly members under 30....those 40 and over prolly only make up 10% of the clients (and I think I am being generous there lol) and its not just the age thing its that I am so concerned with hurting myself again. As i have mentioned more times then I can count....ever since I broke my wrist in combat I havent gone back to combat. Pisses me off in reality cos it was one class I really enjoyed...but I had fallen over maybe 4 times in that class before I broke the bone so I cannot risk that again :(

I then of course fell off the treadmill last week. It seriously would have been hilarious if I had been watching it...and my foot is still sore 10 days later...I am paranoid about getting on a treadmill again and falling again....bottom line I cannot keep falling and injuring myself....it fails all logic to me to keep going to the gym if all I am accomplishing is that I am hurting myself.

So anyway I sent a message to the gym manager saying to take my name off the foxy challenge...I also messaged my trainer to say I was taking a week off from the gym.

I really need to make a concrete decision one way or the other....either I need to suck it up...throw myself into the gym and get this weight moving....or look at a gym with a "older" demographic....or decide that I am content with this weight....maintain via nutrition but give up this whole gym gig. I off course am leaning towards the first option.....but I need to stop being willy nilly about this stuff...I need to committ...or give it up.

So that is where things are currently at...ive had a few bad days of eatin (101.5 kilos this morning) but im back on track with my eating today. Decisions, decisions.

Ive not had a great weekend....partly due to not feeling well....yesterday morning i had a touch of gastro...then this morning i woke with a sore throat and headache (not feeling too bad at the moment then)...sitting around with not much to do as I was resting has led me to being hugelyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy bored and too much time to think!

I then got thinking about how damn long this has all taken....2 years ago...i was a few kilos within goal n now im 20 kilos away seven and a half years later. It does feel like i am never going to get there. My biggest  struggle at the moment isnt the food (even if i havent eaten great the last 2 days) its my exercise and my lack of confidence...i avoid so much cos i lack confidence at the gym....theres a running group starts tomorrow night...im tempted to join it yet at the same time i dont feel confident with a new group of people and running thru the streets of adelaide is terrifying (the other week i was crossing the lights near work....and a car went past and yelled,,,,,move your fat ass...)...i dont do boxing anymore cos i worry that i wont be able to keep up...even tho i realise just doing my best is all that should matter...i dont do body combat cos im scared of falling over....and now having slipped on the treadmill i am absolutely terrified of that happening again ..... blah blah....

I think also signing up for the foxy challenge was a mistake....i dont do good with a "competitive environment" and i really wanna do my own thing with nutrition not feel oblidged to do what others think i should do...im thinking tomorrow i may write a email to the manager of the gym asking to just be taken out of the challenge. I think i should do the running group tho...will decide tomorrow morning! Tomorrow i will weigh in and then will weigh in on friday,,,,,each friday will be a weigh in day :)

Ive been pretty slack about updating this blog....no other reason apart from busy and tired when i have had free time :)

Food wise I am going MOSTLY good...was going great when suddenly last night 15 minutes before bed I wanted grill cheese on toast and had way too many slices of it ;) but back on track today...unfortunate;y with that lil slip up the scales went up 1.2 kilos (is that crazy or what? but mostly that will be from sodium).

The foxy challenge started on monday. I have really done good exercise wise (for me anyway hah!) monday was a public holiday....tuesday, wednesday and today I did 30 minutes cross trainer and a 30 minute PT session and thursday I did 30 minutes on the xtrainer....tomorrow i will do body pump and body balance. Tonight we did a kettle bell circuit...i came home and wrote it out hah since i now have a 8 kilo kettle bell...so might do it on sunday.

Today I went and bought new shoes! One pair of asics cross trainers and one pair of asics running shoes (might need to use them to actually run!) might even venture out and do a run on sunday :)

Weight wise I lost 1.4 kilos this week....altho....will have to see what happens next week considering last nights grilled cheese LOL Oh well rome wasnt built in a day!

I decided to set some goals too:

Under 95 kilos by April 2
Under 90 kilos by April 23
Under 85 kilos by June 4

They are all pretty BIG goals...really need to be getting the exercise and the nutrition spot on....next weeks exercise schedule is:
monday : 30 minutes cardio + 30 minutes boxing
tuesday : 30 minutes cardio + 30 minutes PT + 30 minutes functional fit
wednesday : RPM + 30 minutes cardio
thursday : 45 minutes body pump + 45 minutes RPM
friday : 30 minutes cardio + 30 minutes PT
saturday : 30 minutes cardio + 60 minutes body pump + 60 minutes body balance

:)

Oops theres a treadmill in my way :(

So one of my biggest fears happened...I fell on the bloody treadmill....I didnt roll my ankle or anything my shoes just seemed to have no grip and I slipped ended up lying flat on the treadmill with the stupid thing still going...if i had seen that happen...I woulda laughed....i was beyond embarressed...I really dont know I can do the treadmill anymore...I dont do it often cos I worry ill hurt myself and there it happens...not that I am badly hurt or anything....grazed my knees and the top of my left foot is tender....that is all...im sure it will be all good in a day or two.

I then of course I got in a funk. Ive already been thinking I am too old for this gym gig. I think every fall...or every time I feel incompetent there i feel more and more the time is to give up on this gym thing. Ultimately I can be at a healthy weight range without the gym...we all know weight loss is 90% nutrition. But at the same time I know weight training is important to help reduce the effects of the loose skin. At this point...I wont do step....combat...attack...or go on the treadmill. I still have cardio I can do...RPM classes...cross trainer....stair climbing out on the stairs at the back of the gym. In fact maybe I should get back into the stair climbing...I like the solitude of it...it really helped with my fitness when I did it previously. On top of that I have my PT sessions...body balance....body pump. Ill prolly get bored but for the moment I think those are the things I should stick with....maybe if I could do those things without killing myself I might increase my confidence and I could get back to other things. The other thing is maybe I should start thinking about running outdoors....the thing about running is it burns oodles of calories for me...so I really benefit from it. If these things dont work I could always move on to things like insanity....im just not very good at being dedicated at home workouts.

The foxy challenge starts on monday. As of this morning I weigh 98.3 kilos. I would LOVE to be 85 kilos by the end of the challenge (stat of june) but 13.3 kilos is a LOT to lose within 12 weeks. It is doable but a lot of work. I have been eating 1200-1300 calories lately....and easily maintaining at that eating level....the foxy challenge is for 1200 calories a day...Ill stick to what I have been doing. 85 kilos is when I would fit into my size large LJ flashdance pants....I have two brand new pairs...I would be ecstatic to wear them again! Not much else going on....just 200 grams of hitting 75 kilos lost....hopefully reach that early next week :)

So workout wise it will look like this this week (this is the plan anyways!)

monday : 6km walk/run (dependant on how my foot is by then)
tuesday : 30 mins cardio + 30 mins PT
wednesday : 14 flights of stairs + 45 mins RPM + 30 mins PT
thursday : 7 flights of stairs + 45 mins pump + 45 mins RPM or 30 mins functional fit
friday : 45 mins boxing + 30 mins cardio + 30 mins PT
saturday : 60 mins body pump + 60 mins body balance

Weigh in day :)

Weigh in day :) Which is always a good day if I lose! hah! Lost 1.8 kilos. So i am now down to 99.1 kilos. The foxy challenge starts on monday which runs for 12 weeks. Whilst it would be awesomeeeeeeeeeeeee to get to 85 kilos by the end of the challenge I think thats me just dreaming hah! So going to aim for 8.5 kilos to be lost over that time. Since the challenge works on a points system for the more things you attend at the gym...this was the primary reason for doing it as it may get me to be more consistent with the gym...which is what I really need to focus on at the moment. I feel like I have got my nutrition right where it needs to be for the modem...but boy oh boy the gym is lacking lol.

I really need to get over being anxious about entering group situations. Thats what puts me of boxing classes. The gym is starting a running group. $80 to attend twice a week for 6 months. But again I just dont like group scenarios (any wonder why i always like to do PT lol)...I know ill be the slowest....and while i get the concept the more you run the faster/better you get thats never worked for me. I know partly thats cos I dont like taking myself out of my comfort zone. The idea while running of huffing and puffing is revolting to me lol yet I realise I need to do that to get better.

But apart from that all is good! :)

Gymmed it last night. Did 45 minutes of body pump and 45 minutes of RPM. It was the first time I didnt do RPM "fresh" for a long time. As I did pump first....I could feel I didnt work as hard in RPM i think most likely cos I was tired from body pump.

This morning my right hip is a bit sore...same soreness I get from running...not sure if its from wednesdays balance session or i am just getting old! haha! Tonight I have PT and ill do a lil cardio too.

After the gym tonight I am going to do some shopping....I need to buy some new jeans. I also wanna go to rebel sport and buy a kettlebell for one of the exercises my trainer wants me doing at home...and I will also look for some tops in rebel sport and possibly a jacket or hoodie. :)

Working tomorrow then sunday off...then thank goodness I think I have about a month of before I do weekends again :)

Thursday :)

Hi lovelies! I am on a day off today...only bum about it is I have had to stay at home. This morning a NEW hot water system...then I had to wait this morning for a inspection of the unit (which means the house is currently spotless!) now I am waiting for a plumber to arrive to install it :)

Exercise wise things have been going good :) Monday I did pump and balance. And last night I did RPM and then a PT session. I am loving RPM more and more the more i do it. I really do go hard in it now my fitness has improved. Then in PT last night we did more balance work and more homework was set LOL. I am actually going to go and buy a lil 6 kilo kettle bell to help with one of the exercises...ill pick it up from rebel sport tomorrow night.

Food is going really good too...and its been challenging this last week! I mentioned on my last post about the "party" at work on friday last week, then on tuesday they ordered pizza for lunch lol...but they did order a 97% fat free pizza....and I had decided I would have two slices and that was all...and thats what I did ! The scales are moving down nicely so didnt harm me :)

This afternoon if the water system is installed relatively quickly I will go to the gym and do a 45 minute body pump class and a 45 minute RPM class...fingers crossed it all gets installed easily :)

Not much else going on...hope everyone is having a fab week :)

Day off today. Slept in...which was lovely then went to the gym...did 15 minutes on the xtrainer then a 45 minute body pump class and 45 minute body balance class. I then went and weighed in....small gain 400 grams. I dont seem to be losing at 1500-1600 calories. So for this week I am eating 1300 calories each day and on saturday I will eat 1800 calories which will have me hitting over the week 1375 calories per day. Hopefully that will get the scales moving in the right direction.

No gym tomorrow night....looks like my landlord will be dropping off a new hot water system at the unit tomorrow night...so need to be here...doesnt really matter tho as I havent got PT as my trainer isnt working and the only class I wanted to do...RPM...i cannot make it on time for.

Tomorrow at work lunch is provided....pizza LOL....but ive worked out 1 piece is approx 175 calories...so I can manage 2 pieces and still fit into my calories.

Not much else going on...hope everyone had a good monday :)

Much better day!

So I am feeling much better today. Wednesday and thursday night I slept terrible. I got in a real funk over the gym and it played on my mind. A lot of the insecurities I have with the gym just came to the surface and was playing on my mind, add to that lack of sleep two nights running and I was beyond grumpy ;)

Last night in my grumpy, tired state I went to the gym for PT - and so glad I did. We did a session of balance work. We started with the bosu..and tamika was like have you done much work with the bosu before? Im like...yeh when I trained with fiona but not since .... then we did some stuff with the fitball...same question....have you used it much before...Im like yeh but not since the fiona days...then as we are talking im like...you know....my insecurities...balance issues have got worse since i stopped training with fiona (are we seeing a theme?) so the session was very much like the sessions i use to do with fiona that we called "wacky weights" it was a lot of body weight work and balancing. Tamika thinks I am quite strong in my shoulders and my core strength is pretty good...but doesnt think I am as strong in my legs and that I use my upper body for movement instead of my legs....so thinks its just about retraining that. She set me some homework...funnily one of the exercises is one fiona use to tell me to do when watching tv with the fitball hahaha...so we are going to do one session a week of the balance stuff then one session a week of strength training. It will mean I will try and do pump as well twice a week (where time allows). This week I am only working 4 days (I have monday, thursday and sunday off) so my week will look like this:

monday : 45 mins body pump + 45 mins body balance + 30 mins boxing
tuesday : 1 hour cardio/homework
wednesday : 45 mins RPM + 30 mins PT
thursday : 45 mins body pump + 45 mins RPM
friday : 30 mins PT
saturday : rest day
sunday : rest day

I am really taking to RPM. I am working much harder in it and I dont actually hate the class....I must be getting fitter....i usually burn about 600-650 calories a class but even as I am working harder i dont seem to be burning more then that.

Anyway...I am at work...back to it....enjoy all :)

Update :)

So I went back to the doctors today for my bloodtest results. They were really not surprising (especially considering how ive eaten over the last 12 months or so). My iron deficiency has got worse. While my ferretin levels have remained stable at 10 (should be between 20 and 300 lol) my actual iron levels are now down to 4.7 and saturation is only 6. The doctor said I am one step away from being anaemic. He wanted to put me on the pill to help with my cycle but I explained usually when I take the pill I end up with a never ending cycle so that was a no LOL....so instead he is going to try me on some tablet cyklo something or other to help lighten my cycle...which if that works will be great!

My liver results were not great altho nowhere near as bad as they were back in 2010....some are too high...and some (protein in my liver...surprise surprise is too low) To be honest I am not concerned that much about the iron deficiency...my liver tho does concern me a little and I really want to improve them...they have never been perfect results but would like to get them much better. I realise for iron deficiency to eat more protein with vitamin C...i am going to do some research on foods to eat to help with liver function.

Last night i went to the gym....did RPM (burnt 650 calories) then did a PT session. Soon as the PT session started my trainer talked to me about my lunges, squats, pushups etc....she was like...you have fine form....the weights you use are good...but you just dont get the range. Which I have known for a long time....we talked about it a little...i said i believe its partly related to my joints after the weight i was and also just a plain fear of snapping my knees etc....i think too altho i didnt mention this its also related to my fear of saying doing a low squat or lunge etc and getting stuck and not being able to get up lol. I have a lot of issues with movement...including things like getting up off the floor etc...anyway....overnight this conversation played on my mind....so i messaged her this morning...she has told me she would love to do balance and stability work with me. I told her i was fine with that that I trust her decisions...she thinks by doing that i will get more joint stability and be able to move more freely...so she will be changing my program...her concern was that it wont be high calorie burns....but I am just going to need to up the ante on cardio which I need to do anyway. I am really liking RPM classes....I do prefer my trainers classes to the other instructors at the gym (mostly cos this trainer goes around and put stickers on you each class and chit like that...I just want to do the class and get out of there....I could care less about stickers or what i call "ra-ra" in the class.I also think I need to get back to running.

Foodwise....last week was terrible! lol. :( But I have knuckled down again this week) so this week has been really good...and the scales are moving in the right direction....(I was 105.6 on monday morning...and 101.9 kilos this morning....amazing what happens when you dont eat ridiculous amounts of sodium!)

Have a good day all :)

Saturday :)

Yesterday I went to the doctors for a 45-49 check up. They did my weight, height (I am not 175cm but 172.5 cm!) blood pressure etc. I told them in relation to all that my big focus is losing 20-30 kilos. They then did a family history....they were surprised at how big a history of cancer I have in my family. This morning I had to go have blood tests to check up on all the normal stuff (liver, glucose, b12, iron, cholesterol etc)...bowel cancer check and he has also told me to get a mammogram. I go back thursday morning to finish the appointment (they want the blood test results) to see what else is needed. The doctor has already mentioned due to breaking my wrist last year he wants to check my bone densty (i dont think there is a issue there)

Over the last week or two I had cut my calories back more (was done to 1400 calories) and have come to the conclusion that just isnt going to work right at the moment. I joined biggest loser club last night (ive not liked MFP for a while) so anyway....i signed up...and got there "classic plan" which has me at 1900 calories. My brain always tells me to eat little (which is not a healthy way to think!) and so I cut back more and more cos I dont think I am doing "well enough" and then cut back to far and fall off track (you would think I would learn my lesson!) initially i saw the 1900 calories and thought that is too much. But....theoretically I should lose half a kilo to a kilo, plus if I really focus on working out...maybe I can lose a lil more a week. My main concern is well two concerns - my food coach believes i am eating 1600 calories a day, and i FEEL i never do as good as I should UGH i hate the pressure i put on myself. But 1900 calories does feel like a real good calorie range where I can eat lots of healthy foods. I just need to remind myself its not a race :) So I weighed in this morning and will weigh in again next saturday....my trainer is back this week (YAY)....heres my workout plan this week:

monday : 30 minutes boxing + 60 minutes body balance
tuesday : 30 minutes PT + 30 minutes treadmill
wednesday : 45 minutes RPM + 30 minutes PT
thursday : 45 minutes body pump + 45 minutes RPM
friday : 45 minutes boxing + 30 minutes PT
saturday : 6km walk
sunday : 6km walk

Heres to a good week!

The next 4 weeks :)

So tonight is day 28 of my "no go food list". I did pretty good....over the 4 weeks all I ate of the no good list was one sausage roll and one packet of bbq chips....not perfect....and it put me over my calories one day....but all in all thats a massive improvement on the previous 12 months!

So now that the 4 weeks is over - what next? Time to do more fine tuning of my nutrition and adding to the list! So in addition to the previous list :

Only purchase multigrain bread and wholegrain wraps from the bread aisle (so no crumpets, muffins, etc)
Only chocolate to be eaten is 70% cocoa or more
Maximum of one banana per day
Maximum of 20 grams of peanut butter per day
One piece of fruit per day that is not a banana (so eating 2 pieces of fruit per day)
When getting sumo salad only a small size....no more medium servings
Maximum 2 slices of bread per day (other grains, cereals etc I of course can eat)

Basically what this will do is cut my carbs a lil....they will still be at a decent level....but for weight loss I know from experience i need to keep my carbs at about 30-35% they have been as high as 51% over the last 4 weeks....it will also help me keep my sodium levels in check.

So again I will do my reward system (I still have to get a vision board from kikki.k as part of this past few weeks rewards.

If I stick to it this week....2 bath bombs coming my way!

I also want to focus on my exercise....need to increase that a lil more...slowly slowly i will get there...this is no race!

Fine tuning

So the scales have gone up a lil this week.Its not that I think I have done anything wrong....just think my food still needs some fine tuning.

Firstly I havent been focusing on my sodium at all. So i really need to get back to focusing on that. More clean foods...I am going to cut out the raising toast...back to the weetbix and chia seeds and milk for breakfast. Back to having a protein shake and focusing on getting my protein levels up which the protein shake will help with. And also drinking more water. My cals are going to sit at 1485 calories....when I got down to 90 kilos (10 kilos lighter then I am now) i was only eating 1350 calories and i was eating 1485 cals between 90 and 100 kilos im previously...i was sitting at 100.7 kilos this morning...so will give that a try. Thats the thing with weight loss especially when you are as close as I am too goal...you do have to consistently be fine tuning things.

I will be setting the goal to exercise 6 days a week this week...would like to be down to double digits by next weekend .... so thats this weeks goal *fingers crossed*

That damn biggest loser finale!

WOW the biggest US finale this week has really generated some press! My thoughts on it are this...Rachel was amazing thru the entire series and I think most knew she would win it. When she went home yep she looked amazing. She was what I aspire to be....slim but strong...she had just completed a triathlon....capable of anything. She of course then went home and ON HER OWN lost an additional 20 kilos. Do i think she lost too much? I guess....really....is it up to me to judge? Maybe she didnt like the "strong" look...maybe she likes the waif look...we all aspire to different things and honestly I dont think I get the right to judge it. You lose weight for yourself....not for a trainer...or a partner....or anything else...you work towards what you want for you. I just hope she did lose it in a healthy way as she has been saying in interviews.

For me things are still going well :) Exercise is going good and so is food...I am really finding that drive to exercise again altho I still feel anxious about classes. My trainer is away this week so no PT sessions....which means more classes then normal! I really wanna exercise monday to saturday this week. I am thinking as a guide this for my coming week:

monday : 30 mins boxing and 60 minutes body balance
tuesday : RPM then if not too many people around my weights program/or body pump
wednesday : RPM
thursday : RPM and cxworx/or my weights program (t on how busy the gym is)
friday : 30 minutes RPM and 60 minutes body pump
saturday : 60 minutes body pump

If i manage to stick to that - that would be about 7 hours exercise for the week which i think is a good amount. I burnt just under 2500 calories this week....but that needs a serious bump...I really need to be burning 3500 cals a week.

Not much else going on...body pump in the morning...time for a early nite for me!

Update - weigh in etc :)

So this week has been a good week (despite being sick-ly today). Tuesday night I did PT and 25 minutes of cardio and last night I did RPM followed by my PT session. I must admit I am back loving my PT sessions and am looking forward to them again! Which is good.

I must be getting fitter cos RPM is sooooooooooooo much more tolerable these days! Normally i only burn 350-400 cals in a RPM class but without realising i must have gone a lot harder last night as I burnt 600 calories :) I am going to start doing RPM on thursday nights as well...so twice a week.

This week for my weigh in i lost 1.1 kilos which i was rapt with. So as of wednesday morning I was down 72.8 kilos :). My trainer said yesterday she could see this week I had lost weight since last week...so very happy....really feel I am getting back in the zone.

I also registered for the foxy challenge last night (which led to my trainer saying "karyn is going to win it" - lol - she is wrong! hah) but....this weeks weigh in i weighed 100.3 kilos....the challenge starts March 10....I am hoping to be down to 96 kilos by the start of the challenge - will have to put the work in! But I believe I am in the right head space to do that.

Not much else going on....PT again tomorrow night - boxing. Then no PT the following week as my trainer is away...no excuse for not throwing myself into classes!

Enjoy your day :)

Damn what a day :)

I forgot to take my workout pants with me to work today....but thought no matter ill go to rebel sport and buy some new ones...well some knucklehead left her credit card at home! I raced home after work...but couldnt get to the gym in time for the boxing class :(

My eating is going great...I am so impressed with me...and the scales are moving in the right direction. My food coach managed to switch my weigh in to after PT wednesday night so I will still have a session this week. I only have one more paid session for the food coaching after this week...but I think to consolidate my good eating I will do fernwoods foxy challenge which goes for 12 weeks...i think by the end of that I will be okay to go back to eating by myself.

Its time to also up the ante of the exercise, going back thru my journal the thing that is missing is intense cardio sessions! Boxing needs to really come back into it....and I will start religiously doing that on monday nights. Thursday nights I think I will make solely cardio...stair climbing...intervals etc. and running on the treadmill. I think saturday mornings after pump as well I will do a hour of treadmill work...most likely intervals. So what I want to aim for exercise wise is:

monday : 30 minute boxing + 60 minutes body balance
tuesday : 30 minute PT session + 20 mins cross trainer + 20 minute running intervals
wednesday : 45 minutes RPM + 30 minutes running intervals
thursday : 60 minutes cardio - stair climbing, running, xtrainer
friday : PT session
saturday : 60 minutes body pump & 60 minutes interval

If i could manage all that it would be a HUGE step towards getting my exercise where I feel it needs to be...this isnt so much about the scales....more about reshaping my body...I know what works from past experience so this is what I need.

As much as my struggles over the last year or so sucked...I am starting to think now it was just meant to be...to slow it down...and appreciate my weight loss and changing body a lot more :)

Life is still good :) and weigh in results!

So much happening of late and I have been so slack about updating this lil blog!

I weighed in wednesday morning and lost 600 grams taking me to 4.2 kilos lost since January 1 and a total of 71.7 kilos lost. YAY. I feel so good about the weight loss and how it is going. My eating is going so well....over two weeks since I have binged and I have been under calories EVERY DAY. My aim was for this year to lose 2.5 kilos a month...I will update tomorrow morning how much I have lost for the month of January :)

Yesterday I bought a new laptop yay!! so happy!! I can update my journal from home again. I can do much better progress pics...check out my fitness forums...ahhhhhhhhhhhhh I feel a bit complete!!

Work has been going great lately...I am getting some different opportunities which I am loving. AND I now have a work wife hahahhaha ;) One of my friends suggested we have a "breakfast & lunch club"...so I give her $30 a week....she organises my breakfast and lunch....she makes everything from chicken and egg salad to toasted sandwiches and on monday quiche!! And she often even delivers it to my desk! How spoiled am I? Its great cos its all home made...all unprocessed stuff...I am lucky lucky!

Tonight I had PT. My trainer is away for a week the week after next...so this coming week I will do 3 sessions and the same with 2 weeks later. My trainer starts telling me what she wants me to do during the week she is away....and then says "btw I can check your visits" hahah no hiding!

Tonght i was telling my trainer that I had lost 4.5 kilos this month....and she said "you aren't in a rush to lose the weight are you?" I love that she said that....I love that I have been lucky with trainers not putting pressure on me to lose the weight fast.

Things are still going good altho not expecting a big loss this week - combination of week 2 and my cycle. I went back thru my journal and when I was this weigh previously I ate 1620 calories a day (cycled of course). Currently I am eating 1750 calories. So as a new week starts tomorrow I will drop 100 calories a day starting tomorrow so 1650 calories a day. Ill then see how this coming week goes. The reality is I am not feeling the need for a lot of food anymore...(cannot believe I said that!) I have really noticed that I dont need as big meals (amazing what happens when you cut out the crap). So anyway will cut back to 1650 a day and see how I go.

Today is the last day of week 2 of not eating any of the foods I made a no-go...so i know i wont have any of them today....so....this weekend i get to go spend a lil in Kikki.k YAY me :)

PT tonight...on a stinking 41 degree day....wish me luck!

Happy australia day :)

Well the first good news is i am getting a laptop this week! weeeeeee!!!! That will make updating this blog much easier :)

Since this is a weight loss journal I should discuss this ;) AND its going fab! I am doing so well I am stunned! Foodwise have been under calories every single day. I am wanting to go to the gym more...i am getting that vibe back and mentally i feel so much stronger, and the mental aspect is the much bigger part of this picture and really the win.

I havent eaten any of the foods on the no go food list and so of course I havent binged yay for me!!! I am seeing $40 being spent at kikki.k this week as my reward :)

While its not official weigh in day today I did step on the scales this morning and they are moving in the right direction. I am so impressed with this for two reasons...one its week 2...everyone knows week 2 is harder to get a loss....and also i have had my cycle....go me!!! Pretty darn wrapped to say the least. The big focus now is to get back to double digits....im a couple of kilos away from that...but currently that is the big focus.

Have a fab day all :)

Good day!

I knew yesterday when I posted there was something I forgot! When listening to Jillians podcast on tuesday night she was talking about positive reinforcement...she was talking about it in relation to her kid but saying how as adults we dont do enough of it (ie rewards for reaching goals) So since i created that list of foods i am not to eat...i thought over this 4 week I would set up some weekly rewards. So this is what I decided:

week 1 : 2 bath bombs from lush (already got them since i champed last week!)

week 2 : $40 to spend at kikki.k

week 3 : 2 bath bombs and fitness magazine of my choice

week 4 : $60 to spend at Lorna Jane

These are all things i love...but they are like "wants" not needs so usually dont buy them...so spoiling myself a bit ;) the bath bombs at lush are well...the bomb! haha! They smell the best...love them !! And they have such a big range i coulda spent oodles in that store...i got one which is a honey one and one i think it was called a beachbomb....think its a vanilla one...but all good!

I only discoverred kikki.k at xmas time when i went in there to buy a xmas present...such nice stuff and so pretty! So will DEFINITELY be staying on track to get that....haha...think right now kikki.k is worth more then all the food in the world LOL

I'm definitely starting to get more in the zone. I do RPM on wednesday nights and have for a while. Normally every class i am watching the clock and i am counting the tracks...im very aware of what track we are open...so i know how far into the class I am hah! Anyway last night I thought I am here might as well just go with it and not bother with counting the tracks...and the class was much more tolerable! If it wasnt day 1 of my cycle i would go in tonight and do RPM again...think tho I will next week. Im just starting to get that vibe of wanting to do things to get closer to goal instead of thinking...ugh i havent done todays exercise.

I had my slim session - that all went well. Weighed in...had a chat about things. Only real recommendation that came out of it was maybe cos of my iron i should have a blended up drink of greens each day...which i will work on :) I think she could tell i was on track etc so dont fix what aint broken LOL.

One of the other things I really have struggled with of late is "wanting to feel normal" and what I mean by this is .... if work puts on food I want to eat it regardless if its good for me or not...if theres food in a team meeting ... i wanna eat it. Today we have a free bbq at work...sausage in a slice of bread, piece of fruit and a drink. I was talking to a friend last night about it...and said one sausage on bread is not worth all those calories so i am going to have my normal lunch...ill still have the piece of fruit and the drink but just skip the sausage in bread :)

Weigh in results

Good news I weighed in and lost 3 kilos :) So as of this morning 102 kilos....total loss is now sitting at 71.1 kilos :) More then happy with that!

Last night went to PT. We were doing weight work were she really had my heart rate up.35 kilos and 45 kilos on the bar with squats...followed by kettle bell swings then bang straight on to the assisted pull up machine. All was going good till about the 4th rep on the pull up machine when i started to not feel well. I explained to her that getting nauseas/dizzy is not overly a uncommon thing for me but the first time in a session with Tamika. So coincidently as I am telling her about my low iron and how I use to get dizzy in the early days of training with fiona...fiona suddenly appears lol (she was visiting someone at the gym) lol...timing was quite funny. Anyway after fiona left tamika talked to me a bit about eating red meat...she was like do you not like the taste of it? I was like...erm yeh no its not that...I just dont love the taste...and I am a lazy eater lol....which led to the comment "isnt it worth the effort of eating it if it gets you closer to goal" ... yep she got me there! LOL So on the meal plan tonight is porterhouse steak! With egg and grilled tomato...I think I am going to make a concentrated effort to eat red meat at dinner at least every second night.

Not much else going on...off to do RPM tonight and then my first slim session for 2014 :)

Life...

I was thinking last night that people probably are thinking woah at some of my posts. I know a lot of people saw me previously as some invincible weight loss machine...the truth of the matter is...even if I get to goal I will battle this for the rest of my life. The person who decides to lose weight gets to goal and never struggles is a very rare person (and incredibly strong and all kudos to them!) but the reality as I discoverred is not me. And there has to be reasoning behind this...so there might be lots of posts where I am not the in control person some think I am...it doesnt diminish my knowledge or who I am...it just is....and I just felt it needs to be addressed...if you dont want to see posts like that...or its a trigger or anything like that I would suggest not read my posts (not that anyone has said this but every time I post lately I have been wondering about this)

Watched aussie biggest loser last night...looks like its going to be a really good season. It struck me how numerous them feel they need to lose weight to put themselves out there and that life is passing them by (sound familiar???). With one of them shannon said....what do you do in your spare time - she replied "sitting things - knitting, crochet, scrapbooking" and shannons response was "we need to get you out more". So true - I am exactly the same. 70 kilos lighter and still the same.

My days consist of getting up - going to work - going home and being a sloth in front of the tv. Unless its a gym night - then i go to the gym for a hour or so then come home and be a sloth. Weekends....as a example last weekend...i got up at 9am...went into the city...bought some dvds and a couple of tops...got my eyebrows waxed walked straight past the gym (didnt go in) i then went home and watched my dvds....the rest of saturday and sunday. Only varying on that on sunday to throw a couple of loads in the washing machine and to go to the shops quickly to buy food for sunday nights dinner.

Ive discussed this before. And im still here...still not doing things cos I dont have someone to do them with. Things I enjoy like going to musicals...going to see live performances. I always go I am not going cos I have no one to go to them with....admittedly they would be more fun if I had someone to go to them with...but I can still enjoy them by myself. So thats one thing I need to start to look at to break the monotonous that is my life ;) So Rocky Horror Picture Show is on in march, in august there is grease...and i think its june there is a ballet performance of cinderella. I am going to start to book some tickets. I also want to start to just get out and see movies I want to see...last time I went to the movies was several years ago I think (cannot even remember when it was). I need to just make me do more things.

Food wise things are going good :) I have been spot on with it in fact! So impressed with me. The thing letting me down is the gym. And this kinda relates back to what I have already mentioned above. I plan to go to the gym I have every intention of going right up till the point i leave work then suddenly I am like I dont want to go. I think partly its cos I dont do the classes I really enjoy. My trainer is big on muscle recovery. I really enjoy pump...but the only time I can make is saturdays but as thats the day after my PT session my trainer prefers I dont do it on saturdays...she prefers I just do body balance instead. It does seem like a waste to travel all the way in the city for a one hour class (cos im like so busy at home lol)...the classes I use to enjoy was combat and boxing. Now partly this relates back to breaking my wrist in combat last year. Imagine it...in a full class and you land flat on your ass....it was demoralising as well as bloody painful. For some reason when i "side shuffle" or "shuffle backwards and forwards" my feet get caught up and trip...it happened about 4 times before I had the fall where I broke the wrist. I did a combat class about a month ago and nearly tripped over my feet again...which freaked me out...I know I can "walk" the side steps but I feel then I am not going to be moving fast enough especially when its busy. So it kinda terrifies me...altho as I typed that I thought...I do have both the gyms combat instructors on my FB maybe I should message them and see if theres a alternative I can do they can recommend (thinking it would just be walking instead) so with that fear of breaking my bones lol any class where I have to move a lot I am kinda terrified of (ie body attack, shabam, combat, boxing etc) I also just feel my age is catching up to me lol...80% of the gym members are prolly 20-somethings...tiny...fit...etc etc...there i am 100 kilos....46 years of age...and not very confident .... i really struggle with certain movements then throw the "im worried i am going to fall over thing" then there is also a bit of a lazyness....its hard to get back into the exercise habit when I have been out of it for so long.

Anyway...this was a huge post...and i prolly rambled way too much....hah....off to PT shortly...and then back with weigh in results tomorrow!

New week :)

Things are going very well and still feel really motivated....in fact more at peace then I have in ages. Im currently aiming for up to 1750 calories. I will do a official weigh in on wednesday....and that night I will return to slim sessions. As of this morning my loss for the week so far is 2.8 kilos (cannot complain about that eh?) on wednesday night when i have my slim session I am going to tell the coach I want to weigh in with them but do my own thing. I really dont respond to eating what people tell me well ;) Also starting wednesday I will commence calorie cycling as stagnant calories everyday doesnt work overly well for me. So the break up of my cals will look like :

monday : 1900
tuesday : 1500
wednesday : 1500
thursday : 1600
friday : 1800
saturday : 2100
sunday : 1850

Lunchtime today had my sandwich then headed out for a short 15 minute walk...its like someone else has overtaken my body ;) Tonight I am off to the gym...30 minute boxing class followed by 20 minutes or so of running intervals and then a 60 minute body balance class. Body balance wont lead to a big calorie burn but hopefully will have burnt 500 calories by the time body balance starts.

Not much else going on ;)

Sunday :)

Good day today....cals came in at 1490 calories which I am very happy with :)

Didn't do a heck of a lot today .... Washing and I've been watching season 2 of breaking bad.

Watched the Aussie biggest loser tonight....normally don't like the Aussie one but it was pretty good tonight so maybe there is hope for this series lol. Off to the gym tomorrow night....going to do a 30 minute boxing class and probably a 60 minute body balance class...(all depends on timing) 

Have a good week all 

Wanted : some self belief amongst other things

I have been reading a book (which i am half way thru) called transformation road by Sean Anderson - he weighed 505 pounds got down to 230 pounds and similarly to me is now struggling. But it was interesting reading his book, reminded me how much i need to keep blogging.

My personality can be a bit of a 'hermit' or as I was once told - I am very insular lol when I started struggling last year ... Someone commented on my blog...why don't u just do it? My size 12 jeans are the only motivation I need....most who have ever battled their weight know it's more then just eat less and i took quite often to the post....then I declared I wasn't posting anymore I needed to hermit awayfom people and be with myself more in a attempt I guess to not have peoples opinions affect my mood and how I choose to cope with things. Nothingbad about that person....that comment is all about how. I CHOOSE to deal with things...I should have been stronger and if it was so bad to me deleted it and moved I but I didn't and as you can see it is still there in the back of my mind.

So while about a year ago I made the decision to hide (and coincidently have gained since) it's time to step out of that and put myself out there in many ways. And it's not just the blog....I was in a private group of weight watchers - people know in real - again I took offence to what one person said..blocked the person and deleted myself for the group - seeing a common theme? Yep I am the queen of running away....I don't like what someone says I delete them and turn my back....even if what is being said was want with good intentions (who knows I am not in there brain) but I run and it's a really bad habit of mine.

Last night in PT tamika had me do a wall squat sit....I'm doing it....and she says you look very comfortable I am like "oh yeah I find this easy" she turns around and says so go lower in your squat then...I do for about 1 second lol and then say "I don't like that it's too hard" lol she then says and this is a bit of a lightbulb moment even tho it's nothing I didn't know....but she says....we need to work on your range of movement...whether it's squats, lunges, push-ups or whatever you go to a certain point and just stop. And it's true...I could even expand on that....I figured out howto run at. A very slow pace - I can do it comfortably and can breath easily and am able to hold a conversation...but running a lol harder or faster - not interested. Tamika said last night you need to stop seeing yourself as the person you were at 170 kilos. And it's true...even tho I've gained 25 kilos I am still healthy and fit.i can still excise...except I still think of myself as 170 kilos I think I'm going to break still...whether it's myself...or something I'm holding on to ....sitting on....or leaning against.

When I was 25 kilos lighter I felt like I had endless possibilities....I was getting opportunities (that's life magazine, Lorna Jane book etc)....should I study nutrition or PT.....should I think about doing online weight loss coaching.....those opportunities still al exist for me....quite a while ago one the person from that's life magazine who did the story on me said get in touch with us when you get to goal do we can look at doing another story.....you would think that would motivate me no end? It should...me in a nice outfit....getting the chance to be in their magazine again....but it's like I believe it will never happen....I've thought about it occasionally but not too often or seriously. Sending a message to that's life should be mitigation, being able yo wear the size 10 dress in my cupboard should have motivated me...knowing (from experience) how much happier my life was. So apart from the fact I need to get the weight loss going I really need to work on my range of movement...I need more self belief....more positive talk so I will believe in myself more...stop letting myself get scared of the gym...and stop worry I may not less weight and instead just lose weight.

Food addiction

I put the title of this post as food addiction but it probably should be JUNK food addiction. I clearly have a addiction to food and specifically junk food and I have said this all the way thru my journey, but its obviously gotten worse over the last 6 months or so.

Whilst I got back on track on January 1 i have been far from perfect. Some days my eating has been perfect...some days it couldnt be worse if I tried. So january 1 i was 105.6 kilos and today 105 kilos. So very minimal progress. Anyway I was on the treadmill last night and I was thinking if I could string a month together of no crap food then I would be right I think. It reminded me how early in my journey I read the book "the end of overeating" by David Kessler and how it really shifted my mind in how I saw junk food....so I have pulled that book out and have commenced reading it. I think also I need to set a challenge as well with some specific limits of what is OFF LIMITS...which I will detail below. If I stick to it for 28 days I will take $150 out of the bank account to spend on some new tops from Lorna Jane ;)

So the list:
No KFC, mcdonalds, delivered pizza, hungry jacks etc etc
No buying hot chips or potato crisps from any retailer or restuarant
A maximum of 35 grams of chocolate purchased on any day (no family blocks - eep!)
No bakery goods (ie no pies, sausage rolls, cakes etc etc)
No hot dogs
At the chicken shop I can buy a yiros or a plain hamburger or 1/4 BBQ chicken and salad - nothing else

I am planning to try and conquer the cravings by making home made options of whatever it is I want. So if i crave a chicken burger I will make one at home with chicken breast etc. Like I read once if you eat more healthy nurtitious food you cram out the not good foods :) My aim is still to eat 1800 cals. I have my first slim session for the week next wednesday (I delayed it due to the heat) and what I am planning to tell her...is I want to eat 1800 cals a day...my primary goal is just cutting out the junk food....Im not so concerned about the weight loss over this time....just need to get a month or so under my belt of none of the above mentioned foods. I need to treat this just like a drug addict would with their drug of choice...my drug of choice is food....first few weeks might be hard but it will get better :)

Good food day :)

Foodwise the weekend went pretty well :) Ate 1452 cals yesterday and the goal was to be under 1500 cals so all good there. Today is a 1200 calorie day.

The weather here is friggin awful at the moment. Between now and friday it will be between 40 and 43 degrees (celsius) each day. UGH. I definitely wont be gymming it every day as its simply too hot. Tonight i wont go to the gym but hopefully after dinner it will be cool enough to go for a walk. Tomorrow and friday night i have PT so will go both of those days, and wednesday night i am weighing in so will do a cycle class when i go that day. By saturday its suppose to be down to 28 degrees (thankfully)

I found some good unprocessed recipes on the weekend so next weekend will do some baking so i have some snack foods apart from yoghurt! hah!

I have decided to back off from the running...its too hot plus I keep getting niggling injuries. (some hip pain, tight calve and occassionally some achilles pain) so instead it will be at the gym for me. I might occassionally do some intervals on the treadmill but thats it (and even that I will leave for the moment)

Not much else going on...stay cool everyone ;)

I'm back!

Well I know some people have asked where I am ;) I've been slack with my journal...specially as I don't have a laptop since mine was swollen. I am expecting to get a bonus from work in the next month or so and when I do my plan is to get a new lap top (thank god) i have a iPad but it's a lil hard to write LOTS with the keypad. BUT I think I need the daily writing in my journal.

For those who are unaware January 1 I weighed in at 105.6 kilos :( but I'm getting back in the swing of things. I will be doing a official weigh in on February 1 (I am doing daily weigh ins to keep an eye on things) my aim is to lose 2.5 kilos a month.

I have been back running (although currently have a very sore foot) I have signed up for a second PT session per week with tamika...we are doing weights in those sessions - I am really enjoying those so that is good.....I am doing them Tuesday and Friday nights. She is quite big on muscle recovery so she really does te want me doing things like pump the day after PT. This week I really wanna be at the gym more.....the aim is 5 days a week, so I'm thinking this week will be :

Monday - boxing & body balance
Tuesday - 20 mins cardio & 30 mins PT weights
Wednesday - 45 mins Rpm
Thursday - rest day
Friday - PT Session of weights
Saturday - 60 mins running & body balance
Sunday - 6km walk

I'm certainly not doing the insane amounts of exercise I was doing a few years ago but maybe in time it will build up more.....I still think what I am doing is a okay level.

Food wise I'm eating 1800 cals a day and calorie cycling (we all know I love calorie cycling!) I would love to be under 102 kilos by February 1 I did take photos on January 1 I will do some progress ones on feb 1.

I will be back to update tomorrow!