Sunday, April 16, 2017

Business end of easter :)

Happy easter all!

I have done superwell and hit a new low this morning of 116.8 kilos - amazing!

I love how well I am currently doing. Which I put mostly down to doing "iifym" - otherwise known as "if it fits in your macros". I think I previously mentioned I go thru a company called Equalution. They have me on high calories (2100 cals a day).  They give me a meal plan each week which is pretty high in protein but also incorporates things like home made chicken burgers, pizza, chicken carbonara - which I love I just dont have a desire at all to go off track. And each week I can tell them of any "food requests" which they incorporate into my meal plan. Like this week being Easter I asked them to incorporate hot cross buns....so I have had a hot cross bun with butter each day...completely guilt free which has allowed me to participate in the same thing as my co workers and not feel I am missing out.

Its been really free-ing. After years of micromanaging my nutrition....having a certain number of grain free meals per day, watching my sodium, cutting out certain products and only going for "healthy options" when eating out....I am getting that in moderation no food is bad.

The other week I went out for dinner so they did what they call a "social adjustment" - so I basically sent them a menu of the restuarant I was going too, told them what I would prefer to have and they worked out my days eating - by dinner time that night I am eating half a 12 inch bbq chicken pizza :)

So yes its all going well...I had hot cross buns....i had a few bits of chocolate...I really cannot complain....and at the business end of the easter weekend i am very happy.

Mentally I am in a good place as well. As i gained the weight between 2013-2016 i really felt a lot of shame. I was the "weight loss queen" an inspiration to so many and then suddenly I lost it and was a obese woman lacking control. I am still classified as obese but I dont feel obese. I am active. Really starting to make progress with my fitness and strength. I eat well...binge free...and have a real good nice balance of moderation.

At this age I have also realised so much the importance of health. I am 49 its prolly a age where you are more inclined to get some kind of illness. I am hoping by the end of the year to be what I consider "healthy" - I felt healthy when in the 90 kilo range. I often had people comment you look like you weigh less then how ever much I weighed. When I look back at photos at the time....no I wasnt a size 10...I was a size 14-16 in clothes but I felt and looked good...and i really had a healthy appearance.

At this stage i am super keen to get under 110 kilos. Not because of clothes or anything but because I remember going from 109 to 111 kilos and it was like over night i was like...woah ive really gained weight....when under 110 kilos while i knew i had gained weight it didnt at this point feel like it was out of control.

Okay enough rambling! Have a good night all :)

Friday, April 14, 2017

Weigh in day :)

Wooop! wooop! Super successful weigh in day....lost 1.4 kilos :) Down to a new low since i got back on track of 117.3 kilos. So, so happy with that....I think drinking 3 litres of water a day definitely made a difference.

So I dont think I have posted about my goals for this year. There is one main one...to get to double digits/lose 30 kilos. So on January 1 I weighed 126.1 kilos...if I lose 30 kilos I will be around 96 kilos....but as long as I am under 100 kilos I will consider it a successful year! So I need to be as close to 10 kilos lost by end of April as possible....so I have lost 8.8 kilos so far this year. So the goal is to lose another 1.2 kilos by april 30. My cycle is due ..... but fingers crossed I can still hit that goal. The goal after that is to be under 110 kilos by the time I fly to Sydney (I fly there July 3) so focus, focus, focus.

Exercise wise I did 3 sessions this week (had a migraine which meant i couldnt train last night)

My gym started open 24/7 as of tuesday....so this weekend I can try after work on saturday and sunday :)

Not really much else to say. I ate good. I drank 3 litres of water. I exercised. I lost weight lol....if only every week could be so simple!

Have a good easter all :)

Sunday, April 09, 2017

Why I decided to come back to my blog

After so long without writing on here and I guess losing followers I guess the question is why I decided to get back to writing in my blog. In a lot of ways blogs are kinda old hat....people are a lot more visual these days taking to things like instagram and you tube.

I personally love instagram....its quick, fast and easy. I can snap a pic...post a sentance or two and interacted with my followers. The you tube thing I tried BUT its a lot of time and effort! I just dont really have the time for it and dont feel i have the followers base for something like that.

The blog is in between. It takes a bit of time to write up a post but it doesnt take HOURS of editing and then uploading to the net.

One of the benefits of the blog before was not only did I have a history of my weight loss journey I could read back on but it allows you to say what you are really thinking. Without looking at someones face and thinking "oh did they think i was bad for saying that" it allows you in your own space to put your own thoughts and words...in your own space.

Weight loss is such a mental journey. Hard as you try if you dont have the right mental place...then you will struggle and it is kinda like battling a up hill battle. I tried for the last few years to convince myself that i "had no option" that I had to lose the weight and had to lose it right there and then. But internally i wasnt there...I could say those words to myself but in all honesty i didnt believe it. Over the last few months I believe it and it is a huge priority to me at the moment, but at the same time I also understand that weight loss isnt everything...I dont want to get to the end of my life and think....wow I wasted years thinking, planning, and plotting weight loss....and I missed out on other things....I dont want that. I want to be totally dedicated to my weight loss whilst fitting in trips away, catching up with friends, having experiences while balancing out weight loss vs the fun of life.

On to weight loss....I did weigh in yesterday. I gained 100 grams but lost 1cm from my arms, waist and thighs. My week went well tho...I stuck to the eating plan 100%....I did 4 x 1 hour walks, I did 2 PT sessions and 1 session on my own (whilst dealing with a minor bout of tendonitis in my arms and a blister on my foot)...the one thing I wasnt quite on was my water. So I am back drinking 3+ litres per day.....and the scales have since dropped so hopefully that continues. On saturday I was 118.7 kilos and this morning I was sitting at 118.2 kilos :)

I definitely had some fitness milestones this week. When I went back to personal training at Goodlife last may....one of the things I couldnt do was step ups due to it hurting my knees....this week I did step ups on to a bench without holding on to anything - didnt fall once. I also tried vertical knee raises on a exercise tower....I tried this quite a few months ago and had no chance of it. This time I did manage to hold them up for about 2 seconds. My form wasnt great tho as I was hunching my shoulders....so thats something to practice....just holding myself up on that exercise tower device.

The fails was that candice tried to get me to jog on the treadmill LOL she basically started the machine said we are jogging and then I jumped off it LOL. I seriously would love to jog on a treadmill again but I am terrified of falling and injurying myself....so i just dont! LOL

Not a lot else going on...till next time :)

Monday, April 03, 2017

Back to it....

Again I am making a attempt to be more active on this blog! LOL So how am I doing, what am I doing, and what are my future plans? The current stats are that as of last friday morning (weigh in day) I was 118.6 kilos. At my highest last year I was 133.6 kilos. What I am doing nutrition wise currently is what is called "flexible dieting", I do it thru a company called equalution - here is a link to their website How it works on a weekly basis I weigh in, take progress photos and measurements and after looking at them they tell me my calories and macros (protein/carbs/fat) for the next week. They also give me a meal plan to follow, it is expensive....but so far it is working super well for me! :) Exercise wise....I walk to work 4 days per week. That takes me 60 minutes each walk. I then train with my trainer for 45 minutes twice a week and do 2 sessions per week on my own (the gym is going 24/7 next week so following that ill be able to increase it to 3 times a week) So forgetting numbers etc how am I going? In a lot of ways ridiculously well....but life is never perfect. Sadly last week a friend of mine unexpectedly passed away. Its been shocking, Martine was only a few years older then me and it really doesn't seem real. But it really makes you reflect on what is important. I am 49 now .... I cannot battle this weight loss for the rest of my life. While we always will deal with it....I dont want to be "losing it" forever...I want to get to a point of a healthy weight....and then continually monitor it in a healthy manner. At the end of last year I decided that this year I was going to throw everything at my weight loss and if I didnt lose by the end of the year....I would resign myself to spending the rest of my life overweight. But thats not good enough...if I am not at a healthy weight by the end of the year...then I will start next year by reassessing where I am with my weightloss and aiming for new goals. It has also made me start to reflect on what is important, its not important how much money i make, or what material items i own, or who is right and who is wrong....but its about the people around us, the experiences, the memories. I plan to make a much more concerted effort with my friends. I think the older we get the more walls we can tend to put up...the more we fear being vulnerable - and that has certainly happened to me. But these are things I am planning to work on. As to my fitness....it is progressing nicely. My upper body is definitely getting stronger - I am progressing well on the LAT pull down. My cardio fitness has improved nicely of late and with all the walking I am doing my endurance is also definitely improving. My trainer messaged me yesterday saying we couldnt do PT tonight as she had concusion. She messages me this morning and says did u train yesterday or today? Im like....I walked a hour yesterday and about to head to the gym soon-ish so she replies back....do some cardio for me...heres a workout....so did a cardio workout. No idea on my calorie burn tho as I have lost my fitbit charger! Argh! But I have a new ordered and I ordered a new band for it....hopefully it will arrive wednesday. If you are instagram make sure you follow me! My username is @kazzsjourney Below is my latest progress pics :) Before and current (173.1 kilos vs 118.6 kilos)
Below is January 2017 vs March 2017

Sunday, March 12, 2017

March 12 2017

So last night I walked home from work and had a rice bowl for dinner (so yummy) and ate 1465 calories and the fluctuating continues lol....this morning I was back up to 120.1 kilos.

So i still woke early today and decided to walk into work (a hour walk)...I got into work...sat down for a bit...then went to walk to the kitchen and noticed the toe next to my lil toe on both feet was hurting. So i took off my shoes to investigate and i have a blister on both those toes on the underside of my toes ugh...so frustrating. I am guessing its just my feet adapting to the walking. I wear bonds socks but dont think they are the issue.

Thankfully someone from work has offered to drop me off at home tonight so i dont need to walk to the bus stop or anything. I am hoping they dont burst before i get home.

So the rest of today and tomorrow will be a rest day. I am still hopeful that the additional cardio will help to get the scales moving....I am giving it this week to see if that helps...if not....i will need to alter somethings (much to my trainers disgust, she think I am not giving my body enough time and changing things too often....ive been in this plateau since basically january 18....and in that time...ive added the cardio, cut out soy, cut calories and tried calorie cycling) yes its some changes but come on....this is now nearly 8 weeks. And i dont think when you have 40-50 kilos to lose thats really acce

One of the trainers at the gym has used a company called equalution, they follow a IIFYM thought process and he has become really shredded...my trainer tried it as well for 6 weeks...i believe she was losing each week but she thought it was too high in sugar (which i have heard other people say too) but yanno im not anti sugar lol i just want the results....and i suspect my calorie range combined with the balance of carbs vs fat vs protein may be the issue....it would be good to have guidance in this area.

If that doesnt happen and the losses dont start soon my other thought process is to do 7 days at 2000 calories and then do a slow cut back on calories....doing a refeed like that can sometimes help to get your metabolism, The strange thing is i am eating the same calories now as i was when i was around 80-85 kilos. The big difference is i am not exercising anywhere near as much....and i do think the exercise for me is a big factor but my trainer is not keen on me increasing my exercise (i have done more this weekend then she wanted me to do...but seriously something needs to change)

So there it is with all my frustrations lol. Something has to change cos it makes no sense when my calories are so low that the weight isnt dropping of me.

Anyway....a few more hours of work and then im going home to put my feet up (quite literally) and tomorrow will be a rest day (its a public holiday) most at this stage i am planning to do is washing (the joys of it all! lol)

Have a good day/night all :)

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Weigh in day :)

Weighed in and was exactly the same as last week - so 119.5 kilos.

Last night after work i went to amart sports and bought some new gym shoes..and then had a early night (and slept super good!) I then was starting work today at 8.30am so I set my alarm for 6.30am and left the house at 6.50am and walked to work. It took exactly one hour and was a 4.87km walk and burnt 752 calories. I was hoping to walk home tonight too...but we are due rain and possible thunderstorms so will see how it is when I leave.

I really think the cardio is what is missing. When i think about it when i lost the weight before i walked a LOT. On the treadmill between classes/PT sessions....i use to walk 60-90 minutes every sunday...would walk around to mums. Since work moved to the city as well I walk less to bus stops etc so I think upping the cardio is what is needed (even if my trainer doesnt really agree lol) So I am going to try to walk to work most days (weather permitting)

Not much else is really going on...I did book flights to Sydney for July....currently debating whether to stay in the CBD or Bondi...really tempted to stay at Bondi.

Working today and tomorrow and then a couple of days off work :)

Friday, March 10, 2017

Update and where things are at

Ive decided to really return to my blog...mostly for the reason I find it helpful to write things out...it helps me get things straight in my head :)

I got back on track properly on boxing day. Over the previous few months I had lost about 5 kilos and since boxing day i have lost about another 8-9 kilos which sounds awesome right? Most of that was lost in the first few weeks following christmas (water weight) since late january I have lost a whole 1.5 kilos (approximately). Have i been on track? Yep totally lol...ive made numerous changes to try and get the weight loss happening again....eating clean....omitting soy...only eating 1 grain meal per day....Ive tried some low calorie days and some high calorie days...regardless....one day im in the low 119's the next day im around 120 kilos....then the following day back in the low 119's again. To say this is getting frustrating is the understatement of the year.

Ive been doing the Goodlife 12 week challenge...today is the last day of week 3. I go on the facebook group and see so many people saying...ive lost 6 kilos, ive lost 8 kilos....and there i am not having even managed 2 kilos :(

There is definitely a part of me that wonders if i am too old for this. I am 49....maybe i need to settle into this weight. I gave up the diet coke in december (havent had it for 3 months tomorrow)...I drink a minimum of 3 litres of water EVERY day...i sleep well...i eat 1700 calories currently (might be time to cut it back) and i exercise 5 days a week. Starting this week I added in a extra session on mondays of running....and my 5th session which was weights and cardio....we are now changing to just some steady state cardio (walking). So four sessions per week are a mix of weights and cardio (a lot of intervals/circuit training and i would classify them for me very intensive workouts)

Currently my sessions look like this:

monday : PT session in the AM
                Running session with Fiona in the PM
tuesday: PT session in the AM
wednesday: 60 minute bootcamp
thursday: rest day
friday: Weight/cardio session
Saturday: walk 5km
Sunday: rest day

So currently here is my options:

Lower my calories
Get some guidance on my macros/calories
Increase exercise (especially cardio - maybe some cycle classes)
See a naturopath (maybe the issue is related back to my PCOS)

So thats where things are at....that said I am not giving up....altho there is a part of me that thinks i need to accept this...but not quite ready to accept that just yet.

Also, that said...I am losing centimetres....and I know people think...well if you are losing centimetres it is working....and to a point I agree....BUT when you have 40-50 kilos to lose...and in deficit...you should be losing on the scales regardless (thats my opinion...maybe wrong but still my opinion)

Weigh in day tomorrow...I was up last week...and as of this morning i was up another 400 grams...will see where things stand tomorrow morning :)