Monday, April 27, 2015

I feel incredible :)

The title is a big statement - but soooooooooo true!!

I feel fantastic at the moment. I am eating my 1900 scales are moving nicely and I fitted in some yummy things like a fingerbun, bacon and eggs and toast, 3 serves of bread this week and still the scales are moving :) (they were my treats over a week not all in one day lol)

Ive mentioned how I go walking with my friend Tania on weekends. Tania and I are turning out to be such a good support to each other, we are similar weights altho Tania is nearing 20 kilos lost, our walks tend to be photo opportunities, talks about nutrition, mindset and exercise....some crazy ridiculous silly moments and then you add some exercise in the fresh air too it....what could be better????

I had my first PT session with Stacey tonight and I finally feel like I have all the support in place to be successful. I have my food coaching with Lauren and I love her sessions...Stacey was telling me tonight that Lauren has had a lot of success with past clients. The session with Stacey went really well....we did boxing....she asked me if I do the boxing classes I was like I dont think im fit enough at the moment...she was like you look like you are doing pretty good lol. There is a 45 minute boxing class on friday evening so I might give it a try....Ill just go at my own place. I also have a few PT sessions owing so she is going to look at me doing some double PT sessions. The session went great tho and I really feel like i have the right fit....finally :)

As to me feeling incredible? Its so true....its not just cos the scales are moving....I feel like I am in a good routine...ive not binged for 17 days... my eating has been really good and now I am starting to get into the gym. Tomorrow I am going to the gym....will do 20 minutes on the cross trainer and 20 minutes on the treadmill...nothing crazy....just getting my routine going :)

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Sunday April 26

The whole concept of "spend your time with people who build you up, not drag you down" has been coming up for me lately. Its something I truly believe in. I see it for example on my journal a bit. When I initially created this blog in April 2006 I created it for one else. I expected a few friends would prolly read it but thats it....miraculously I built up quite a following. My journey (especially previously not so much now) became very public...with that comes peoples opinions. As much as I get some fantastic, positive support from this journal - I have also had over the years some judgemental, questioning comments. I realise people may not think I do it the "corrrect way" (in other words THEIR way). I am more then educated on nutrition so will completely do this MY way. Recently something came up with a friend of mine and she felt the need to explain her actions to someone....I saw this and my first thought to her was "you owe no one a explaination" you can do whatever you please. I am now going to apply that thinking to my journal. So if someone leaves a judgemental, questioning comment about MY journey - I wont be replying. I may delete the comment then again I may not. I am not just applying this thinking to my journal but every aspect to my life...and in all honesty its generally how I work anyway I am pretty strong minded. I spent years trying to please my mum, but trying to please ANYONE but myself are days of the past.

In relation to my journey, things are going well :) I started my journey eating 2000 calories. The reason for this was to find the range where I can eat the most food whilst still losing weight. Last week I maintained. As of friday I dropped my calories to 1900 calories...I will give this 7-10 days before deciding if I need to go down to 1800 calories. I am so on track at the moment that I am not overly concerned by the scales...I know they will move with time and this is the smartest, healthiest way for me to do this.

I feel very in the zone and this will only improve with time. Tomorrow I do my first PT session with Stacey, which I am looking forward too. Yesterday I did a 6km walk with Tania and this morning a 2.4km walk (just a baby walk as it then started to rain! :( ) My aim for this week is to stick to 1900 calories, watching my sodium and increasing my aim is 4 sessions between now and next saturday I have 2 PT sessions planned and will need to attend the gym two other days (maybe tuesday and thursday and have friday as a rest day)

Hopefully the scales will start moving soon....regardless I am so happy that I am now on to day 16 of no binging and eating for 80% of the time...really nutrient dense foods :)

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Tuesday April 21

After sundays post I really started to think about the situation with the trainer. As someone said to me "you know if its the right trainer after the first session", so I ended up emailing one of the owners at the gym and said I didnt think it was the right fit and even that I thought to maybe leave PT for the moment. She replied back saying she didnt want me to give up PT and that the co-owner is actually a trainer and that they would like me to try a session with her. So I have spoken to her, and advised what my goals are what my injuries are. So I have booked in with her for monday and wednesday nights starting next week :)

After I finished work on Sunday me and my friend Tania headed down to Semaphore Beach and did a 10.75km walk. It was very kewl and then followed it up with dinner with Tania :)

My eating is going good...altho I overate on bacon and cheese on saturday night....oops! That lead to a 3 kilo gain over night (obviously sodium)....since then the scales have only dropped back a I was still up by about 800 grams this morning from last weeks weigh in, my sodium levels today have been very low (which is normal for me) so i hope there is a significant drop overnight...will be interesting...cos even if I dont lose in weight on the scales...I have a funny feeling the body fat will drop.

Im also about to start taking some supplements that fernwood sells....heres a link on them : Fernwood Goddess Range so will get them hopefully thursday night.

Okies not much else going on...weigh in tomorrow...thats it :)

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Sunday April 19

Today I am doing fact I am a hour into the overtime...not too busy so far!

Last night I lazed around watching season 1 of melrose place (the original series) I watched the first 4 episodes and then skipped ahead to episode 15 when Jo joined the show...she was/is a hottie so was keen to get up to there lol.

So I am working till 3.30pm today. Then Tania is picking me up and we are going down to Semaphore to go walking and to have some dinner. I bought a vivofit the other day, cannot remember if I mentioned that on here or not (I went away from fitbit because I wanted one I can wear on my wrist and I dont like the clasp on fitbit and plus when I get back into running I wanna buy a Garmin running HRM so this made sense)

So the step goal on the vivofit for today (it varies depending on past usage) is 6419 steps, which I should easily hit...I am sitting at 916 steps at the moment...but am planning to go out walking in my first break.

The more I think about it the more I want my focus to be on cardio. So that is a aim this week to really focus on that and get that up with a mix of walking, stairs and cross trainer.

I think I also mentioned previously that I started with a new trainer as my old trainer left the gym. She is a nice girl, but as of yet I am not quite convinced yet it will work. I will give it a month or so and if I dont feel its the right fit I will let them know. Its hard to tell from one session if it will work or not and whether you will "click" with them. I have been thinking if it doesnt work out maybe I will cancel the PT and just stick to gym classes, cos lets face it the key at the moment for me is cardio. Part of the issue will be what timing she has available as well...this week she could do 7pm on tuesday or 6.30pm on monday....I opted for monday as since I am finishing work at 3.30pm I dont really wanna hang around the gym till 7pm....but monday is a good night for doing classes at the gym (they have body balance and boxing on mondays) so a better option is to do classes on a monday. But Ill see how this all pans out. Its a lot of money to spend ($76 a week) if the times dont work great. Id ultimately prefer to get into the gym do my cardio or a class and then head home at a decent hour, especially in winter. I dont want to look like I am all over the place to the gym tho, cos I will admit part of me is just tempted to cancel PT...but I need to give it a true go.

Not a lot else going on...looks like a nice day outside! Enjoy your sunday all :)

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Saturday April 18

Well its the weekend! YAY :) But actually I am working tomorrow lol...they were offering overtime so I took up the opportunity. So working 7.30am-3.30pm and we get a quarterly bonus this week so will be a nice pay packet (which is good as I need a new winter jacket!)

I took a progress photo today. First time I have done that for a long, long time. (Funnily I didnt take pics as I was gaining weight lol) So here it is with my original before as of this morning I am 122.6 kilos which puts me at a total loss of 50.5 kilos since the original start of this journey...and leaves me 42.6 kilos to lose to get to my total goal! But to be loss is currently is 50.5 current focus is simply to get to 55 kilos 4.5 kilos to current goal is simply 118.1 kilos :)

Progress Photo - April 18 2015

I woke up VERY sore this morning....thursday nights PT session is catching up with me! lol...I sore....getting out of bed was a no exercise for me today....tomorrow I am going walking with Tania. Which brings me to what I want to focus on....and that is CARDIO. Ill be doing weights in my PT sessions....and one or two body pump classes a week...ill hopefully do at least one body balance class a week (two on good weeks) but rest of the time I want to focus on cardio. And even tho I wanna focus on cardio I am dreading it lol. At my weight...and with having lost so much fitness cardio is a struggle. Starting monday I will do one lot of the 7 flights of stairs at the gym....I mean initially it doesnt matter how many times i try or stop for a long as I am doing....Ill also then do 20 minutes on the cross trainer (I did manage 20 minutes thursday night so its just to slowly increase the level I am on) and also 20 minutes incline walking in the treadmill ... I will leave that at 7% incline but slowly work on increasing the speed. Hopefully after a few weeks my fitness has improved enough that I can start to look at doing boxing (the gym has classes for this monday and friday evenings and its something I have always enjoyed) So my aim for this week is:

sunday : walking with tania
monday : my cardio workout plus a PT session
tuesday : RPM
wednesday : my cardio workout plus a food coaching session
thursday : PT session plus 20 minutes cross trainer
friday : 
saturday : gym closed
sunday : my cardio workout

Tonight I am making my low fat version of pasta looking forward to it!! yum yum!

Enjoy your saturday night

BTW a vlog on foods I like eating coming up on my you tube this evening Kazzs You Tube Channel

Friday, April 17, 2015

Time for a update, eh?

Well definitely time for a update :)

I got back on track last saturday and ive been doing awesomeeeeeeeeeeeee! Its funny how its just kinda all clicked all of a sudden.

Last saturday morning i was 127.1 kilos and 51.7% fat. On wednesday morning I was 123.7 kilos and this morning was actually 122.9 kilos wooo hoooo!! Ive been eating 2000 calories a day...but i am eating very clean....and i think thats whats allowing me to eat so much but still lose...ill give some examples of what i am eating (and may do a vlog on this at some stage)

So breakfast has been the same day in and day out but I love it....I soak some oats in hot water...then add peanut butter, banana and yummy....I swear its the highlight of my day.

Lunch has been mostly roast chicken breast and quinoa and brown rice mix....and i add either sultanas or pineapple to it (I have eaten NO bread since i got back on track)
Some days if I am at home for lunch i make a "breakfast pizza" i throw a soft wrap in the oven to crisp it...then i cook bacon, spring onion, mushrooms....then mix 100 grams of egg whites and 2 whole eggs add that to the bacon mix and cook it....then i did the cripy wrap....throw the eggs/bacon mix on top then add 25 grams of low fat yummy!

Dinner...i either make a smoothie (greek yoghurt, almond milk, frozen banana, PB2chocolate, chocolate protein powder) or more chicken and rice (lol)....or make a home made kebab...take a wrap which i hear in a pan...then add home made tzatiki, roasted chicken breast (which i put a lemon thyme seasoning on it) and salad....super yummy and clean....low in sodium

My snacks are things like quest bars, greek yoghurt with flavoured protein powder added to it, occassional freddo frog, 1 date and 3 walnut pieces, smoothie, protein icecream (whey whip)

The only thing i eat on occassion that is high sodium is the bacon....

I buy egg whites in a container (coles sell them in the fridge near the processed meats)...ive been using the plain one but today picked up one that has spinach and feta added to it....i might try a omlette of that on a wrap tomorrow.

I am also back at the gym...doing food coaching and did my first PT session with my new trainer last night (the previous trainer has left the gym)...i didnt go tonight altho tomorrow i aim is to go the 2 days i do PT, 1 day i do food coaching and saturday mornings.....thats 4 days a week which for the moment i think is fine. This sunday tho i am working and after work i am going walking with tania.

I did do a vlog the other day too...ive linked it here....lemme know what you think....if you want to see you dont wanna see more..what topics or type of vlogs you would like to see...

Friday, April 10, 2015

Finding the passion

When I was successful with my weight loss all those years ago, one of the key things with why I was successful was it wasnt just a "diet" was my hobby, my passion. When big things in my life happened (dealing with a death in my family) I lost that....I lost my way...and was simply trying to get thru my day without awful visions my mind came up with of last moments, I lost it and I dont think for a long time it even occurred to me I lost it. For many months now I have been aware of this and I have wondered "how do I get that back?"

Going back a few weeks ago....I was in a rut...I really wasnt in the zone....I was going thru the steps cos I felt thats what everyone else expected. I knew I wasnt going to be successful with this I emailed the gym said can you put my membership on hold....they emailed me back and asked if everything was response was:

" headspace in relation to exercise and eating well etc....I dont seem to have the right head space (which is partly why I signed up for food coaching)....I have a few good days then a few bad days so I am hoping a week or so of not focusing on it I might get the drive back :)"

At first I did nothing...I ate bad....was completely lazy....spent lots of time watching netflix. Slowly I was starting to get the drive back...over the weekend I thought...I might go on you tube and see if i can find any decent weight loss docs. Initially I found one documentary on this woman who went from being pregnant to a fitness model....a good 1 hour documentary....which I realised was used to try and sell her "plan". A day or later I did a search on you tube again searching "weight loss transformations" I found a couple of good ones...then I found one called was addicted! I watched this channel for hours! I came home from work today....watched more of his channel...then thru a link on his channel found another one called "Fit men cook" omg more addicted! And I have only watched 3 of his videos so far lol...suddenly i realised that interest was still there...I still enjoy watching about nutrition and peoples fitness journeys....I just needed to realise it is no longer 2006 and mediums change. I have kept this blog going for a longggggggggggg time...its been going for 9 years now....but lets be honest blogging isnt one of the great social network mediums these days. So back tracking a lil bit. A few days ago I emailed the gym and asked if my membership could be reactivated as of 16.4. The owner of the gym called me, explained my trainer had left the gym and I would be doing food coaching with her and she could see me on the 15th.

After watching you tube this week I knew what I wanted...I want this...I dont want it cos its expected of me...I want to become a strong warrior (noticed not a skinny warrior ;)) First thing I did was email the company I have in the past used for protein powder (, advising them how much weight I want to lose, how I normally eat my protein powder and what protein powder would they recommend? I also then asked them about pre workout supplements...they wrote back very quickly...recommended 3 different protein powders and also recommended a pre workout...when i looked at the pre workout....there was a few things that made me keen on it. One it isnt the type the causes sleep issues or makes you jittery, has green tea in it three...elevates your metabolism....four...provides vital minerals and vitamins such as fatty acids...five .... surpresses appetite somewhat six...its also suppose to be a mood enhancer too....So i order both it and the protein powder....which I should receive both early next week.

I then knew I needed to pick a start date. From that date....thats it....on track. I have also messaged someone who has helped me in the past working out my calories and macros. I wont be eating less then 1800 calories...but as I have gained weight I want to make sure thats enough. I was never a fan of 1200 calorie fact I detested them (sorry all the michelle bridges fans!) im not saying i wont do 1200 cals at any point...but at close to 130 kilos....1200 calories is the last thing I need! My focus is to eat as much as I can while still losing weight and seeing body shape changes. At the most I think he will suggest my calories be 2000.....which sounds a lot...but when i was a lil under 90 kilos I would eat 1800 cals and would see big changes in my body shape eating that and focusing on my macros!

Ive decided also with this new journey (and lets face it...its different to before and I dont want to rest on my laurels) I want my focus to be on instagram, you tube and facebook. I am considering changing my name from "kazzs journey" the reason for this? Well im honestly thinking long term....when I lost my weight before...opportunities came my way....I just never felt I capitalised on them. In the past Thats Life has told me they would like to do another story if I got to goal...there are so many opportunities that could come my way from....(and this is way in the future!) from writing ebooks (on my journey, my tips etc)....creating tshirts with my logo...maybe way way way down the track doing some sort of coaching or motivational support....maybe a site which could go in who knows what (and I am getting to my point! lol) whilst I realise "Kazzs Journey" has a bit of a following I dont think its a great title for something like needs to be something more thats identifiable as me, that is more of a logo...motto...and not merely my name. I would like to decide on one of these and then start to get myself out in the social networking world under this new identity (so ie you tube, facebook, instagram and possibly blog altho I think if i do a blog i will try and workout word press! So if anyone has any helpful hints send them my way! I want to become much more involved...cos this IS my hobby....I want to learn about graphics (I can do some basic stuff)....learn web design....learn video editing..this is no longer a "diet" its not even a "lifestyle" its back to it being my passion! ;)

In relation to you tube and instagram thats prolly my initial focus. And will start to play with that on saturday (which is day 1 for getting back on track!) My plan is saturday I will video parts of my my weigh in....and video my food.

Down the track I will do videos on topics...i will try and "interview" different friends on weight loss journeys or weight loss champions...and maybe way way way down the track even podcasts might be a thing!

So now that I have got that out there! LOL I need to think about this new identity....I would love to hear all your suggestions! I want it to be something thats very me, thats unique and catchy. Something that captures what I am about (and I will stress again that is to become someone who is fit, healthy,glowing, strong....not someone skinny with lil energy)

So some of my thoughts are:

The strength in me

Id really love a identity that uses the word strength or strong in it....I also kinda like the word fluffy (in case you hadnt gathered LOL) anyway if you have any thoughts let me know!

Wednesday, April 08, 2015

Important Thoughts

Well stuff has happened! LOL

I had a mild gall bladder attack...which is left me struggling to sleep at night as well as pain. Ive spent 2+ days straight in bed. Its 7pm and I am ready for sleep now!

I had a call from the gym last night....and my trainer who i had only had for a few weeks has left the gym :( So i havent been to the gym for a few weeks as I didnt feel I was in the right head space, but I am returning on april a week today! Ill do a food coaching session that night....first one...and then on thursday night I will do PT with the new trainer.

Ive spent quite a few hours watching you tube over the last few days. Its really given me the drive back. And the drive to build a strong body...not a skinny body ;)

Ive also been thinking a lot about what happened when i was at my lowest then lost the plot. And yanno there were a couple of things that I realise I need to be very aware of otherwise the same thing will happen when I get back there. The first is...I am not going to stop losing at any weight till I get to the weight i AM happy with. When I lost the weight before I got lots of comments like "you are not going to lose anymore are you?" "your face is too skinny" "you dont look healthy"

This was me when I was at my smallest. Do I look unhealthy? Nope. Do I look too skinny ? Nope? In all honesty i think i looked fanfreakingtastic....yep I still had weight to lose off my tummy and thighs...but I looked gooooooooooooooooooooood! Lesson learnt....this time I will not stop till I am at the weight i want! Till I can look at me and go..."yep i am finished" (in the weight loss department that is)

The other thing was i had a lot of people giving their opinion on whether i was going to have skin surgery. People were very pushy of what they thought I should go thru....of what pain/financial strain/recovery time I should go thru. I am not saying I wont have surgery when at goal and I am not saying I will...but you know...if someone had a big nose you wouldnt go to them telling them that they are crazy if they dont have nose job....that they are not complete if they dont have surgery. IF i have will be my decision...I will put it out there simply for the time needed off work and the financial cost (and remembering i have no family support where i live) the chance of me having it done is very unlikely....but it will not take away from my will not take away from me living my best will simply be how it is....purely a cosmetic scars which I am choosing to keep. I feel very strongly that this time i will not allow ANYONE to push me on this topic.

I am getting on track 110% as of coaching and back to the gym on wednesday...I am so ready to do this and finish this journey once and for all.

Monday, April 06, 2015

Happy Easter Monday all :)

Well....todays plans fell apart. I was planning to go out to lunch and to see The Sugar Film....but my cycle arrived and I ended up with bad cramps so I bailed. I was super disappointed as i have been SO eager to see this film...i WILL see it at some point!

So ive mostly spent the day in bed (with a couple of panadeine forte)...thankfully TV1 had a seinfeld marathon (which I am STILL watching ;))

I had a good food day again :) 2 days ago i was 127 kilos .... this morning i was 124.9 kilos. Ive been thinking a lot about how i want to focus on weight work this time with my weight loss. I feel rather motivated about it. But i had put my gym membership on hold for 4 weeks....and wasnt due to go back till April 30 but contemplating writing to them and going back on april 16. I hadnt felt like I was in the right head space...and I am glad I took a break....I think by the time I go back I will have that exercise desire.

Back to work tomorrow..only a 4 day week which is nice...but the next 3 weeks I have 7.30am starts which is earlier then I am use too which means setting my alarm for 5.30am...this may kill me haha!

Have a good night all :)

Sunday, April 05, 2015

A good day :)

So after yesterdays posts i got a few messages about "your not a failure till you stop trying etc" for me...stating what I did yesterday was important. I need to be open and honest about this journey...I have not been successful in weight loss for 2.5 years so it was very important to put it out there.

Today has been a pretty good day, I wanted to stick to 1700 calories, and i ate 1673 calories, in that i ate lots of good foods....yoghurt, blueberries, goji berries, almonds, spinach, tomatos, peanut butter, banana, cheese - so lots of good nutritional foods in there ! :)

I didnt exercise but im not to stressed about that...i had a good eating day so I am happy with that. I put my gym membership on hold for 4 weeks....I may go back after 2 weeks....still contemplating that. Will make a decision over the next week or so.

One thing I didnt mention on yesterdays post is how I have stopped taking care of me. When I was doing well every second saturday after the gym I would go get my eyebrows waxed....last time i had them waxed? The day I went and saw Jillian....that was last October...nearly 6 months ago! I have been slack about even shaving my arms and legs (that may be TMI),,,,,this morning tho the pits and legs got a good going over hahaha! I noticed today....on the bottom layers of my hair i have some really nice honey actually thinking about having it done thru my hair but thicker and more on the top layer.

Not much else to say ;)

Saturday, April 04, 2015

New beginnings...

So first things first, yes my journal has a new look! I felt it was time for new beginnings and a different not very good with blogger but wanted a cleaner look...I was going to go for a white background....but I kinda like this....its clean and crisp....if people find the font hard to read please let me know!

Today i woke with a cold...blooming running nose and chit....and have slept on and off for a lot of the day. I then had eaten a pile of carbs...went to the grocery store....and got dizzy ..... its not the cold....its my sugar levels prolly at some ridiculous amount from all the carbs. Tonight I sat down and watched fat, sick and nearly dead 2. I found this such a good documentary. I had seen the first one but found this one much more enlightening. There is a bigger focus in it on the psychological side of why we choose junk food over vegetables. I would definitely recommend it. If you have netflix its on there to watch.

It also discussed how when things arent going good we hide. I think I have felt a pressure to still be "the weight loss queen" as I feel thats how people see me...and i have tried emit that but on the inside i feel more like "the weight loss failure" There is two very separate weight loss journeys 2006-2012 and the next journey starts now. I need to look at this fresh and I need to step out of hiding and be more willing to take on support. In my real life some of my weight watchers friends more regularly and I am hoping to embrace that even more. I need to update here more regularly and on my facebook group. I need to be vulnerable enough to take support and advice.

I thankfully went shopping today bought lots of greek yoghurt, sultanas, pumpkin seeds, ham, bananas, peanut butter, spinach tomatos etc etc. I feel tomorrow is a fresh start...weigh in tomorrow morning...go for a walk....get some housework done. And i will take a "before" pic which I will upload here.

Enjoy easter sunday all :)