Saturday, March 31, 2012


I need to write a huge much thinking going on...

Yanno im so anal about this weight loss deal...i know every stat....grams of carbs and protein i eat on average...sodium levels....what i weighed on any specific day....calories...BMR blah blah like 3 kilos from the healthy weight range and it STILL does my head in. I did so good last week on the foxy eting...then about tuesday this week the scales started going up...did it 4 days running...those daily morning weigh ins didnt help me at all! I think why i have struggled so much lately with the ive always had a big number to lose....obviously getting down to 80 kilos and not having huge amounts of fat to lose and the scales tend to fluctuate and i eventually get pissed and then end up doing what i always do...and thats eating. I tell myself i realise its a different ball game at this weight....but i wonder if intellectually i understand that. A big part of my problem is head space and not believing i can even get under 79 kilos....ive prolly convinced myself it will never happen...even when people say i will...i sit there feeling dubious. Its like i wonder if people are really "hearing" me when i say ive tried this, this and this....but i think its just that ive convinced myself so much that i will never make it. I think now that i realise the scales are affecting me so much...its time to stop the daily weigh ins. I know i was doing good...the only thing i may not have been doing was exercising enough. Also if im thirsty in the evening i dont drink cos i worry how it will affect me and my mood for the next mornings weigh in. I do think the fernwood eating plan is good....its good clean food....whether its enuff food for me im still not sure on (its 1150-1400 cals per day) I think also while i havent verbalised it i have thought if im not at goal by end of june then i give up on this dream of getting to my goal weight. But last nite i did talk to a trainer at the gym who told me i will get to that healthy weight range...whether i truly believe that is another story....but i think i have to put a bit of faith in me. Cos this not getting to goal...while its a number on the scale it affects other things. I know what ive lost is awesome and ive done a great job...but im not happy with my body yet....far from it...and if i get no closer to relation to my body i dont think i will ever be happy. It also leaves me self doubting that i can be a personal suddenly in my mind ive put that on the back burner again...i mean if i cant get myself to goal how can i expect to get anyone else to achieve their goals.

I have not eaten great the last few days (altho not atrociously either) so just need to get back to following the plan by the more weighing in...and throwing myself back into the exercise. Whilst i have been still training with fiona twice a week and nora once a week...thats been it....i need to make a point to try and make every group fitness class i can like i use to do. Also one of the trainers at the gym is going to write me up a weight and running program which should help as well...specially the running program...she thinks i need to set a goal to complete in a will have to think about that (maybe ill just aim at the end of her training program to just run 5kms in a marked out area around where i live) Anyway im on lates this its going to be ensuring im in bed early...getting up early...and doing some morning this weeks plan is:

sunday - 60 mins with fiona
monday - body pump
tuesday - body balance and 60 mins with fiona
wednesday - PT with Nora
thursday - body balance
friday -
saturday - pump and body balance

so lots of body balance and pump....not cos im specifically aiming for just those classes but simply cos its on when i can make it. I am also considering buying Jillians yoga dvds to do at homes...would be handy specially for public holidays and sundays when the gym is closed. Also i will hopefully have the running program sometime next week so can get stuck into that as well. :)

Friday, March 30, 2012

Week 1 Foxy Weigh In

Well i weighed in last nite for my first official week of the foxy challenge....the thing to note with this weigh in is they had new my scales at home id lost 1.6 kilos over the week...there scales showed a 2.4 kilo loss and a 1.5% drop in body fat...which i am happy with exceptttttttttttt....i know over the last 4 days the scales have gone up...monday morning i was 79.5 kilos this morning 80.2 anyone who has ready my journal for a while will prolly realise im back at a similar spot...i sit here and fluctuate between 79 kilos and 81 kilos. Overnight was the biggest jump in the scales (500 grams) and yesterday the foxy meal plan was relatively high in carbs (half a bagel, a mountain bread wrap and half a cup of cooked rice) I know it doesnt sound like a lot of carbs...but for someone with PCOS like me ... it is...specially the rice at dinner time. Today is lower in carb, just 1/3 cup muesli, 1 mountain bread wrap and 5 water will see what happens over the next few days.

Ultimately if i am down at this weight and its not going to is going to really be time for me to start thinking about the next step. One being maintenance (seriously how the hell do you do that??? I have no freaking idea....thats a whole new ball game in itself) and the other thing is to decide whether i do want to focus on building muscle or not. Last year the last few months fiona was at the gym i did build some muscle specially across my shoulders..since then i havent...i may have even lost a lil tone. One of the problems being i am a lil over the gym, i dont think its the gym itself....i think its the travelling. Of cours if i get this job i have applied for that would get rid of that issue as i would walk to the gym from drama. So if i decide that yes i do want to focus on building muscle i need to come up with a plan for that...i dont know that just doing Les Mills classes would achieve that and of cours i would need to commit to working out 5-6 days per week. If i decide not to go ahead with that path...i think i will prolly not renew my gym membership...instead continue working out with fiona twice a week and maybe exercising on my own (maybe walks or maybe the occassional exercise dvd) my gut tells me to not be a lazy ass and work on building muscle cos i would LOVE a more toned body...i just think maybe im too lazy to do that lol.

Tonite tho i am going into the gym after work...going to do body pump and sunday i am working out with fiona. Next week i am on late starts so i will try and get my ass out of bed early and gym it before work. Thing is if i decide i want to focus on building muscle i think i would need to figure out a plan and not be wandering around aimlessly. I mean whether its doing Jillians 30 day shred....or P90x (doubt i would do that) i just need to come to some conclusions...come up with a plpan and then committ (the hard part!)

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

So i have decided that my lil mini goal is going to be wear my Lorna Jane pink camoflage flash dance pants on the plane when going to Sydney on april 26th. I would be ECSTATIC to wear them...time will tell...this morning i was 79.5 kilos .... ive got 4 weeks to go from lose 2.5 kilos....hopefully i can do it i think if i lost another couple of kilos they may fit quite aware that i really struggled previously once i got under 79 kilos....but this plan seems to be working so well for me so im hopeful to be 77 kilos by the 26th :)

This afternoon i have a hour of PT with Nora...expecting to be sore tomorrow lol...and talking of tomorrow...back to work after 5 days off...sigh LOL oh well hurry up April 25 when im off for 10 days!!

Nothing else to say...(how boring is this journal lately! lol) have a good tuesday all :)

Monday, March 26, 2012


So after 7 days on fernwoods meal plan...ive got from 83.8 kilos to 80.3 kilos...i was really hoping to sneak under 80 kilos so a lil disappointed...but still ecstatic. Especially considering i had a few social functions in there. I would LOVE to be 79.3 kilos by thursday....but think that would be hoping for too much....ive lost 1 kilo since thursday by my scales...if i hit 2 kilos that would be AMAZING...since ive gone back to slim about a month ago ive not had one i will love to walk into that room and score a loss :) Of course i am now starting to get near that 79 kilo mark where i never seem to get under for more then a day....i really hope this new eating plan enables me to get under it and stay under it!

I rang about the job interview this i have a appointment with them next wednesday suppose to train at 5pm with will have to see if i can get in later that day...cos while its likely i wont be there for a hour i dont want to lose a session if i can help it...if not might have to do a hour session the following week. I have a hour session with her tomorrow nite so will suss that out then. This weekend i will go shopping to find a top for the interview i have black pants and a black jacket but i want to buy a new top....part of the job description mentions theres a big focus on presentation and whilst 5 years ago i would have struggled with that i feel confident with that side of things these days...and of course if i do get this job will have to buy some new clothes as it will be slightly more corporate wear then my Lorna Jane clothes i currently wear!

So right now life is pretty good...enjoy your week all!

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Good weekend :)

So its been a good couple of days :) Friday i gymmed it at lunch time....did pump and cxworx....that cxworx certainly works out the core! When the instructor came around to collect the tickets for the class (shes not a instructor i normally have) she was like...oh your the girl who has lost lots of weight! (oh the fame lol) I then went to mums...i talked her into steak and salad for dinner. So we went to the greengrocers bought lots of yummy stuff and made a delicious healthy salad. The only unfortunate thing apart from the whole "you dont need to lose any more weight" conversation....was they are biscuit feinds! After dinner was this cheese biscuit thing they gave out which was rather large,,,,then mum bough out some "snack right" 98% fat free biscuits....mum doesnt quite get it that just cos it says 98% fat free doesnt make it healthy unfortunately. And whilst there my sister and niece turned up :)

Saturday morning i did a hour long workout with running...lots of abs and balance kinda stuff....then i went to the gym and did pump and balance. Ive been very careful in pump since i did my back....and feel its now time to SLOWLY increase the weights...ive especially been careful with the back track, shoulder track and bicep track. For those 3 tracks i had only been using 1.25 kilos on each end...which is pretty much equal to nothing! LOL But i dont want to hurt my back again....and even tho i know as Bek told me i need to not be "scared" of exercise....i also want to increase the weight safely. So i did 2 kilos on each end for all 3 tracks yesterday...and whilst im sore its all a good i think when i do pump next (not sure i can make it this week - unless i was to get up early tomorrow!) but next time i will do 2.5 kilos. The chest track i did 3.75 kilos...which just about killed me lol...3.75 kilos for the warm up...5 kilos for the squat and 3.75 kilos for the im slowly increasing them and absolutely no pain after yesterday. I know the absolute most i will go up to in the back is to 5 kilos...ill never go higher then that again. After that and balance i then went home for a nap LOL then last night i went to my cousins 40th birthday...which was SO good! When my dad died when i was 14 mum didnt keep in touch with dads recent years my sister and i have got in back in contact with my aunty gwen and cousin jacqui whose party it was we saw about 2 years ago....but my Uncle Dan (my dads brother) and his wife my aunty clare came down...there son (my cousin) mathew came as well as well as his family. It was be sitting in a circle of about 10 people and they are all family REAL family was awesome :) My Uncle Dan said "i see jimmy (my dad) in both of you....even with body language and facial expressions....and i havent seen those for a real long time" I loved that comment! They also told me one of my second cousins (who i did meet last nite) they didnt think she looked like any immediate family and then were like...who she looks like is karyn as a kid....and when we left my sister was like...she does look like you did...same hair colour....cut in a fringe and long ....and she is a slim lil thing like i was that was quite funny (in a good way) to hear....she is very quiet like i was as a kid too. But it was a fab nite...lots of hugs...and photos which i am sure will appear on fb next week sometime. Foodwise i didnt do too bad at the party...i didnt eat any nibbly stuff...the party was at 5pm which made it hard to eat dinner before hand....i drank mineral water all nite...i had one small sausage roll...a couple of pieces of chicken and a few bits of cheese and some pasta salad. And 2 cupcakes and one slice of birthday cake lol...oh well...wasnt perfect...but it was okay considering...and today im completely back on track..the scales had been down to 80.3 kilos yesterday morning but jumped up to 80.9 kilos this morning...but im sure thats just fluid from sugar and not too still 400 grams down from what i was on thursday morning...fingers crossed for a good number tomorrow morning :)

The other good news is i heard about the job i applied for! They want me to come in for a chat in the next week or i will ring them first thing tomorrow morning to make a time for that :) Fingers crossed!!!

Friday, March 23, 2012

in the zone :)

Well i will start by saying i am so in the zone. :) I have been following foxys meal plans (apart from wednesday at work) monday morning i was 83.8kilos this morning 80.8 kilos - so back to 90.1 kilos - cannot complain about that! Im really enjoying the eating and hoping this is the plan which will see me get to goal. Initially my mini goal is 77 kilos...which puts me in the healthy weight range...but so i have a buffer i would like to get to at lest 75 kilos (i still am eyeing of 68-72 kilos tho) so thats the aim for the 12 weeks of the foxy to lose 8.5 kilos...which would put me at 75 kilos on the gyms scales and 72.8 kilos on my scales (crap that sounds teeny tiny!! lol)

Anyway so i did my weigh in at the gym last night for start of the challenge. 83.5 kilos (im always several kilos higher on their scales) and 36% body fat. She was very impressed with my waist measurement which is 79 that is "healthy" :) YAY for being healthy lol

Then last night i watched "hungry for change" if you want to watch some thing of being the healthiest you can be...with a holistic approach you should watch it...check it out at

So this morning i hit 80.8 kilos which was a 500 gram drop overnight. Today im off to body pump and cxwork classes...if i get there early enough might run a lil bit before the left upper thigh has been giving me some grief when running i wanna test it and see how it is...its been feeling quite tight when the muscle is stretched (like when i sit on the floor crosslegged) so will give me a idea how it is. Tomorrow morning its outdoor training with ms fiona and then afterwards pump and balance. Tomorrow night i have my cousins 40th. And tonite my sister and niece arrives so will see them tonite. Gonna be at mums for dinner...but i will simply have a small piece of protein and bread and no desserts :) But at my cousins birthday i will have one treat...whether its a slice of cake or whatever (its at 5pm so guessing dinner of some sort is provided and im guessing birthday cake!) Im sure there will be some photos which i will add next week. Its a dress up party (70's theme) but i am piking and wearing just jeans and a jumper LOL i might wear my wedge style heels...they are 70's lol!! Busy few days...and just about time for me to get ready for the gym...enjoy all!!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Good week :)

This week has been pretty good even tho i havent been to the gym all week! LOL. But i have worked out somewhat :)

I started fernwoods eating plan on monday and i have to say im really impressed with it! Its got a lot of variety...low and high calorie days...its nutritionally balanced and only 2 meals with carbs per day. My only concern is it MIGHT be a lil too low in calories. Monday morning i was 83.8 kilos...this morning i was 81.3 kilos. Cannot complain about that...I have MOSTLY followed it to the letter....only differences is apart from milk and yoghurt im not eating low fat anything cos i dont think its the answer...and things i really dont like im i dont like salmon so monday night i had a piece of snapper instead. I also dont like having slices of cheese in my house cos i will just eat it ive been buying the portioned cream cheese and feta cheese instead.

Today tho was a lil different! LOL Breakfast was good...1.5 weetbix plus milk.But we celebrated Harmony Day at each team picked a country (we were greece) some of us wore makeshift togas....see below pics...and we decorated our area and bought in FOOD. OMG greeks make great treat food! LOL. I seriously ate too much...the one thing i am glad about is normally i eat bad for one meal i keep it going for the rest of the day but i said when i walk out of work today thats it. When i got home went to the shops to get the food i need for tomorrow (didnt even venture down the confectionary aisle!) and came home...made tomorrows lunch and am about to eat my planned dinner :)

So yes the scales will be up in the morning but will mostly be fluid. The only annoying thing is its my initial weigh in for the foxy challenge tomorrow nite...anyway doesnt matter what weight i start at...but what weight i end up! And im POSITIVE ill be in the healthy weight range (under 77 kilos) by the end of the challenge ;)

Last night trained with right thigh gave me a bit of grief...and i noticed earlier tonite when sitting cross legged it feels very tight...hopefully its just been a lil over worked...if not ill mention it to nora on tuesday (am doing a hour with her next week)

Fiona and I have been starting to plan what we are doing in sydney...we are going to do this lil concerned about my fat ass fitting thru all the caves! But maybe doing this and (presuming) im successful it will help sink into me im not who i once was. We are also going to do this one night. Im really looking forward to the trip! Doing some very different stuff.....I head to Sydney 5 weeks tomorrow wooot!!!!

This weekend is going to be a big saturday night! When my dad passed away when i was 14 we lost contact with my dads of my cousins and aunties i saw a couple of years ago, well its this cousins 40th birthday this weekend and she is having a party....but as well as that one of my aunties and uncles i havent seen since i was 14 is coming! My sister wasnt going to be able to make it but messaged me this afternoon to say her and my niece Danielle are coming!!!So that should be a exciting nite. Saturday morning i will train with Fiona...then pump and balance. The party starts at 5pm so im guessing there is dinner provided of some going to stick to protein and salad and will treat myself to one slice of cake. After saturday tho ive really got no social plans till focus, focus, focus!!!

One more work day and then a 5 day weekend...bring on 5.30pm tomorrow night!!!

Heres two in my size 8 jumper....and me in my toga today :)

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Well today wasnt great eating wise...too much thinking i think. I know people say how well ive done....and im not disputing that....but in lots of ways im not where i want to be. That saying that being skinny doesnt make life perfect is true. Dont get me wrong i lead a happy lil life mostly...but i think i hoped that i would grow more confident once i lost the weight...which i thought would lead to a more social active life .... that hasnt really happened....yes i am more confident then i once was...but i guess i had visions of becoming this person with this great social life who was having to choose between social outings....and lets face it...thats just NOT me! And when i look at my fitness levels its really not where i would like it...i cant breathe well when i run (to run a 5k really seems like a goal thats not meant for me) .... ill never be able to do full pushups ...and burpees well lets not go down get me wrong of course im hugely healthier but ARGH its like so many of the goals i set are just unattainable.

I think what i need to just lose those expectations...just do what i do to get as healthy as possible...

Anyway onto other things...the foxy challenge starts tomorrow...and i need to commit myself to these 12 weeks...ive bought the first 2 days of food....ive made some subtle changes (like plums instead of nectarines...snapper instead of salmon) is going to be weird not having weetbix everymorning for breakfast.

Im really sore from training yesterday...sore butt, upper legs and abs...poor me hehehe....hope theyre not as sore tomorrow as tomorrow nite is boxing and body combat time. So fingers crossed tomorrow goes well .... no processed foods at all! Wish me luck :)

Saturday, March 17, 2012

OMG hello size 8's :)

Well the good news is i was down to 82.5 kilos this morning!! :) 3.3 kilos down since tuesday morning - gotta love that!!

This morning did a training session outdoors...then went to the gym and did pump and body balance...:) I didnt wear my heart rate monitor but did a good workout. I feel parts of me sore already lol. After the gym i went to target....i needed a new frypan...and i still had money from the vouchers still i walked in grabbed a frypan then noticed they had 20% off womens clothes....and a jumper caught my eye...i picked up the size 10 but it looked grabbed a size 8 (omg!!) It fitted me and in fact is quite loose on me...then i spotted another i liked....its a more fitted style but size 8 fit me too!! Thats crazy. Cos you know you have perceptions in your head of what different sizes "look like" and to me size 8's are for tiny, delicate looking people. Not me! I still think i look at least a size 14 its very bizarre to think thats me fitting into just doesnt correlate....and for one of them to be rather loose...i had to try on several size 8's in the same jumper to ensure it wasnt labelled wrong.

Wednesday at work will be interesting this week as we are having "harmony day", basically each team picks a country....decorates their area as their country...dress for that country (if they can) and then also bring in food for that country. My teams country is Greece. So we are having greek salad, eggplant lasagne, watermelon and feta salad with ouzo dressing,greek cakes, greek biscuits, baklava, pita bread and tzatiki - hummm sounds like lots of yummy stuff!!! LOL i figure ill get one plate only for lunch and ill have half the plate with eggplant lasagne and greek salad...ill also have a couple of biscuits and one cake. It will be a high calorie lunch but that should keep everything in control. The big key will be not going back for seconds!! So wednesday night will be a definite gym nite! lol

So on to the plan for this week is:

monday - 30 min boxing class + body combat + 30 mins cross trainer
tuesday - 60 mins training with fiona
wednesday - 60 min boxing class + 45 min cycle class
thursday - 45 mins treadmill/cross trainer
friday - body pump + cxworx (has anyone done this class? whats your thoughts?)
saturday - 60 mins training with fiona + body pump + body balance

And with that...time for me to go and relax! Have a fab saturday all!!!

Friday, March 16, 2012

Foxy challenge...come and get me!!

The scales had dropped to 83.3 kilos this morning :) So thats 2.5 kilos since monday...cant complain about that. Dropped into the gym today to pick up the stuff for the foxy challenge...this year they include menu plans and theres two menu plans ... one is to "lighten up" and one is "keep it lean" ...the lighten up one was too high in carbs for me and worked out approximately 1650 cals per day....even tho its meant for losing weight...i still wanna lose another 10-15 kilos...but the level of carbs scares me off...the "keep it lean" one is approx 1250 cals per day and a much lower carb level. (Having PCOS i cant overly eat carbs) when i did 1200 cals earlier in the year i did lose initially...and then i im going to try it cautiously. I have input all of next weeks menus in my mypalfitness...i have decided tho not to eat low fat when it comes to things like tzatiki, cheese, etc and only have low fat milk and yoghurt (jalna) but that said by making them non low fat...i only was hitting around 1250 cals. So i am going to give this a real good shot...if i find i dont lose...ill add calories to bring my cals up to 1450 cals per day with calorie cycling...but i wanna really give this a shot. The foxy challenge is a 'competition' but im not interested in that aspect of i said last year...the only competition im interested in is with myself to ensure i do my best. I dont want to set a ridiculous goal going to set 3 reach 77 kilos, my body fat get under 30% and to fit into my size large pink cargo flashdance pants...if i meet one of those goals...perfect! But with luck maybe ill reach all 3....time will tell! So im excited to have a 12 week period to try and reach some goals...would be FABULOUS to hit that 77 kilos!! The other thing i am going to do is....NO yiros while im doing the foxy challenge...i really wanna give myself the best shot to reach my goals!

This arvo i have had a bloody sore feels very hard quite high up...and very tight....feeling a lil better at the moment so hopefully it will keep improving. So glad this week of 6.30am starts is over! I can sleep in tomorrow...OMG so excited!!! lol all for a bloomin sleep in! In the morning i should be training with fiona...with luck i can make body balance too...have a good weekend all!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Well this morning the scales were 83.9 1.9 kilos down since monday :) So i am very happy with that.

My back has been playing up the last day or two so i had some treatment on it today...feels better at the moment...hope it keeps improving. She told me to be careful with doing stuff where im pushing weights etc above my shoulders....i was going to do pump tomorrow looks like that is out since I wouldnt be able to do the back track. Instead i will go to the markets and get my food all sorted out with lots of healthy, organic foods!! Saturday morning i am training with Fiona and might also manage to do body balance.

Must admit today i caved and had a caramello bear ooops! Rest of my food was pretty good...altho i was disorganised and had subway for dinner....i researched subway a few years ago and they put so much crap into them...but anyway i had it....just a ham six inch salad.


Breakfsat : 2 weetbix + 40 grams sultanas + 1 tablespoon chia seeds and skim milk
Snack : banana + 1 tablespoon natural peanut butter
Lunch : chicken + avocado + tomato sandwich + 1 small skim hot chocolate
Snack : 1 brookfarm bar + 1 carmello bar
Dinner : 6 inch ham and salad roll

Oh and i applied for a new position in the company today. Its in the city which would be perfect. Im not setting my heart on it....if its meant to be ill get it if not i wont. :) and even better news....tomorrow is friday YAY :)

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Another Day

Last night i trained with fiona. OMG i ran lots! LOL We did 10 x 80 metre running intervals...ran up and down lots of stairs...ran around the oval and did some strength work. The funniest thing was when we were doing the intervals....and on the second one fiona was need to catch me....haha omg i was trying to run but was laughing at the thought of being able to run as fast as fiona LOL ;)

This morning the scales dropped down to 84.5 feeling confident about a good loss tomorrow too...cycling the calories with cutting out the processed foods seems to be helping...even tho i realise its fluid im still happy to see it starting to moving along...its giving me confidence i may get down to 75 kilos :) I think the no processed foods (or limited anyway) is helping heaps. This weekend im going to go to the markets and gets lots of organic meat :) as well as do some baking this weekend.

My eating today :

breakfast : 2 weetbix + 1 tablespoon chia seeds + 1 teaspoon manuka honey + 1 cup skim milk
Snack : 1 banana + 15 grams tahini
Lunch : 1 cup baby spinach + 30 grams feta cheese + 1/4 of avocado + 100 grams turkey
Snack : 1 protein bar + 1 wholemeal muffin + 2 teaspoons honey
Dinner : 2 kanga bangas + 1 cup cherry tomatos + 20 grams feta cheese

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Good day :)

This morning i was 85.8 kilos...but i got my cycle this usually gain day 1, 2 and 3 of my cycle. Usually i gain about 500 grams on day 1 then a gain of over a kilo on day 2 and a minor gain of a few hundred grams on day 3. So that i only gained 300 grams i was very happy with. Food has been really good today as well:

breakfast - 2 weetbix + 1 cup skim milk + 1 tablespoon chia seeds + 40 grams sultanas (didnt have my honey and didnt miss it!)
snack - 1 banana + 15 grams tahini
lunch - 2 slices of multigrain toast + avocado + roasted chicken and tomato
snack - small skim hot chocolate and 1 protein bar
dinner - 1 full egg + 3 egg white omelette with baby spinach + 30 grams feta cheese + 100 grams honey

Tonight i have training with Fiona...kinda dreading it! LOL Ive told her i want to increase the intensity of my sessions so tonite this is it! lol

Not much else going on....have a good tuesday night :)

Monday, March 12, 2012

12/3/12 - Food Diary

Breakfast - 2 weetbix + 1/2 tablespoon honey + 1 tablespoon chia seeds + 1 cup milk + 40 grams sultanas
Snack - 1 banana + 15 grams tahini
Lunch - 2 slices of bread + 1 hamburger patty + tomato sauce + tomatos
Snack - 4 Thin Rice cakes + 125 grams low fat cottage cheese
Dinner - 180 grams chicken + 1 cup mushrooms + 1 onion + 20 grams feta cheese
snack - 50 grams Jalna no fat natural yoghurt + 1 cup raspberries

Total cals = 1488

Time to refocus...

Well...this week has been a disaster! But its made me realise a couple of i will always be in "recovery" .... i guess i did/do have a eating disorder not in the sense of anorexia (obviously!) but in the gravitation to the fridge....and when im not monitoring and on top of things....i eat for the sake of eating....i even noticed i will be full but still eating! Recently i read a article that said "a person who has previouly been obese physically and psychologically will never be the same as someone who has always been slim" i didnt really believe that statement initially but now i realise its true....even once im at goal i am always going to have to track my food.

Anyway ive decided i will go back to updating this blog daily .... generally i still post 3-4 times a week but for a while i need to refocus on this and put all the pieces of the puzzle that previously had worked. So the gruesome details is...this morning i weigh 85.5 a week i have gained over 5 i do realise a substantial amount of that is fluid...i always gain crazily when i go off track and i know ill lose MOST of it pretty quickly if i truly get back on track. And that means cutting out all the processed crap thats snuck in of late...protein shakes, protein powders, wagon wheels, freddo frogs, muesli bars, ... i didnt realise how "processed" my eating was getting till i read back on my journal and there was a post from 2 years ago...where i had written down the food i had eaten that day...and it was process thats what i need to get back lower calories with the calorie cycle...i CAN get not only under 79 kilos...but down to 75 kilos....if i flippin apply myself.

Also have asked fiona for us to increase the intensity of my training sessions too :) While my fitness level is okay its really not where it should im going to have to start to push myself more in her sessions. I also really need to focus on minimum of 3000 calories per week.

So i have started the day well! 2 weetbix with chia seeds, pure honey, milk and 40 grams sultanas. :) Might even start to cut the honey out...that was a super filling breakfast and loved the sultanas (thats a new thing i tried today lol) ive already downed 600 mls water (not hard to do when ur dehydrated!) and am now on to my second 600ml water.

I am a lil worried about my first slim will be the first week of the foxy im just going to tell her...i want to do things my way...yes your scales will show a gain...but i just want to treat it as fresh start...big goal but id really like to get down to at least 78 kilos by the end of the foxy challenge (so to be it in 13 weeks)

Will be back tomorrow (DEFINITELY!)

Sunday, March 11, 2012


I have decided to go back to basics and what has previously worked for me...i know so many people are saying "you need to eat your exercise points" etc but its not working! Whilst i ate bad tuesday and wednesday....ive gone up everyday the last few days....and i really think i am eating too much. And it ends up i end up eating the same cals most days which i know just doesnt work for me....and whilst i like eating more LOL its not getting me the results. So i pulled out Jillians book...worked out the cals if i burnt 3000 cals per week (admittedly i burnt 5200 last week but i have had 3 days off work which left lots of time for exercising) so im gonna base it on burning 3000 cals per lose half a kilo a week puts me at 1650 calories....and just like the good old SUCCESSFUL days im going to calorie cycle them. So i will weigh tomorrow morning and then hopefully start to get things moving...the scales are hoping to be back at 80 kilos by my first slim session on 22/3 so fingers crossed....hopefully this change will work!

If i am to be completely honest....not only have i had some bad eating days especially this week...but the processed foods have been sneaking back in....wagon wheels, freddo frogs, a yiros more then once a week lil things have been creeping back in...whilst its been great that ive cut out the diet eating is really lacking.

The other thing is ive been in chat the last few weeks...and i dont think my slackness whilst ive been in chat more is a coincidence...i just think its something that i cant do and live the real life i want to no more!

I know exercise wise im kicking ass at the not going to track my "walks" anymore...i wanna hit 3000 cals burnt a week without the walks which i am sure i can do. So fresh chapter tomorrow...will weigh in and back to eating the way jillian recommends!

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Size 10 dress...woot!

My 4 day weekend is going quite nicely! Yesterday i was at the gym at 7am...did body combat and then walked home from the gym, then met my friend Laura for morning tea in nth adelaide and then walked home from there...then in the afternoon i walked to mums and back again (3.1 km each way) burnt a massive 1300 cals and walked nearly 13kms! Phew!!!

This morning i met up with fiona along the torrens river to work out for a hour....did interval running along the river...a lil bit of stair climbing then some strength work....i did have a spill tho!

Grazed my arm when doing pushups on a wall (i was leaning on my jumper and slipped!)

I then went shoppinggggggggggggggg! I bought a new dress which i LOVE and ive just realised its a size 10 (it was a international sizing of 2)! Its like the perfect dress for me...fitted on the bodice and flowy, loose on the i dont have to worry about my stomach and hips lol....its just lovely to wear and i love that i could wear it with some lil sandals out casually or with heels for dinner etc....and in winter a lil cardi over it would work i think...cost me $129 but love it!!! I also brought some wedge heels and also a new berlei bra...its awesome looks like a crop top not a bra :)

Then got home today.....and the toilet was blocked! argh.....waited nearly 2 hours for a plumber and then 90 minutes to fix it...finally have a working toilet again!!

Tomorrow im planning to go down to the footy oval again to run around up and down some stairs. Enjoy ur weekend all!!!

Thursday, March 08, 2012

Great workout :)

So after two days of eating bad bit tuff pulling myself back inline....but i did it today :) Went to the gym tonite...rowed 1km on level 10 in 5 mins 30 seconds....i was pretty impressed with that since ive been doing level 1 since i hurt my back and wasnt trying to go super fast...1km in 5 minutes is pretty awesome in my eyes. I then did my PT session with nora...which i really my sessions with fiona too (of course!) but nora had me doing lots of different stuff...including using something called a body blade...which was bloomin of side planks while balancing on fit ball....and too much knee bending for my liking! lol But it was good...was very challenging but really good...and really got my head back in the right space. I also did about 25 minutes on the burnt 654 calories - so a good workout :)

I have the next 4 days off...tomorrow when i wake ill go for a 6km walk...and then meeting Laura for morning tea...then tomorrow night will be doing body pump.

I got my $300 voucher from work today might do some shopping over the clothes are tempting ;)

I wore sarahs size small LJ leggings to work out in today I hate the "saddlebags" on the top of my thighs but things are slowly improving....i chucked a photo below:

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

no more complacency...

Well ive been home sick today....ive been feeling very run down since the weekend and had the sniffles on and off and woke with saw eyes and headaches...i was seriously annoyed cos not only was i not working but i was suppose to go to a seminar tonite about being a lifecoach but was thinking i will need to skip it...but lucky me....they rang about 4.30pm to say its been cancelled and they will simply book me into the next session (which isnt till June)

The last few days my eating has been off track. Its prolly related to being overtired i suspect. My exercise over the last week or so has been good i really need to focus on my eating. I think part of it is i need to reassess. Ive got slack thinking "it doesnt matter when i lose this last 5 kilos" a level of complacency has come over me. And i think some of it is....i still dont have the "life" i wanted....i didnt believe i would make goal in the beginning but when i thought about what i wanted all those years ago....i guess it was that life that i just think everyone else has thats unattainable to me.....the fabulous social that good stuff. And i think with that i need to start to focus on goals...not just weight loss goals....

* reach 75 kilos
* stick to a "net" of 1400 calories
* get my drivers licence
* decide once and for all whether to study to be a PT or nutrition
* commit to starting to study
* stop avoiding things...or signing up for things and then backing out (crossfit, bootcamp come to mind with this)
* give this running thing a real go and decide if they do a running group again at the gym whether to do it or not
* stop avoiding things cos i'm either scared of rejection or failure (was listening to Jillian today she is getting into my head too much)

Im suppose to be starting the foxy challenge the week after next...not sure about that the slim sessions arent going as well as i would have liked. I think im going to try and change slim coaches.

Ive decided im not going to weigh in on my scales till monday morning...just gonna get back on track for 4 or 5 days without the expection of the scales (will see if i manage to do this! ) not sure if it will work....but with luck despite my bad eating over the last 2 days i will be under 80 kilos by monday morning...thats my only goal!

So thats the aim...less complacency...less worrying and more doing!

I booked in today for my Dexa scan for when in Sydney....booked for monday april 30 at will be so nice then to have a concrete number to be aiming for.

Sarah gave me some preloved Lorna Jane clothes last nite...and one of them was a pair of 3/4 navy pair....SIZE SMALL....and they fit! So excited! And my legs dont look horendous in thighs still look big but passable....ive looked at girls wearing pants like this for ages thinking they would look awful on me...while ill shop for tops i HATE shopping for anything for my bottom half...but i might have to buy some more when i get back from sydney (in saving mode till then!)

Saturday, March 03, 2012

feeling least mentally..

Today is a much better not talking on the scales i mean mentally. One thing that happens when i struggle with the scales is my brain goes into overdrive. This morning i worked out with fiona....and she commented you have Nora as a additional trainer...your just starting back at the scales arent moving and a lot is going on in your head. Since that chat ive been really trying to focus on just trying to relax a bit. And i feel better for it. She is right there are changes going on...and soemtimes i need to cust myself some flack.

This morning we did shuttle runs and between them pushups...burpees...squats....ran up the 40 steps 10 times with 10 squats in between them and then back to my place where we did a lil bit of stuff with the fitball and viper equipment. So burnt 526 eating was on track as well (ive learnt today now im so close to goal i should be aiming for a net of ive hit 1351 net....which seems good...) It seems the days my "net" is too low (sometimes its been as low as 400 2 days later i have a sizeable gain)

After working out went to the local lil RSPCA op shop....bought 8 tops...and 1 pair of trousers....the tops were all size 10 & 12 and small and medium...all fitted me really nice except one medium top which was way too big... :)

After i got home i suddenly got super tired....ended up falling asleep for a hour....i felt exhausted...not sure why!!

Going to be a early night tonite i can tell already...not even 7.30pm and i am yawning! lol

Since it is the start of March...i thought id review really what i did achieve in february....

* gave up diet coke....ive now gone 31 days without it :)
* Finally got back to boxing classes and it didnt affect my back
* Started working out with a additional personal trainer
* The gym asked me to do a public speaking seminar on my journey (at this stage this will be on May 4)
* The start of the month I was hovering around 82 the end of the month i seemed to be on average sitting around 79-80.5 kilos

So it wasnt as bad a month as i thought. For this week my activity is going to be :

sunday - 6km walk
monday - 30 mins boxing + 45 mins body combat
tuesday - 60 mins workout with Fiona
wednesday - 60 mins boxing (i should be able to get there in time for this class) + 45 mins cycle class
thursday - 30 mins PT with Nora + 30 mins xtrainer
friday - 60 mins body pump
saturday - 60 mins workout with Fiona

Quite a different workout plan compared to the last few weeks...just gotta see it thru now ;)

Friday, March 02, 2012


The scales were up this morning....altho i checked on the body fat scales tonight (ive been advised best to weigh on them around 6pm) anyway my body fat was 27.8% :) Which is down 0.2%

Whilst the scales are up...i couldnt work out why....till i thought about it....from my reading i had come to the conclusion that if i burn over 1000 calories a day to eat 2500 calories...i burnt over 1100 on but was worried i would gain so only ate 2060. Its hard to suddenly eat so much...but if im to believe what ive read thats what I need to do. Whilst i am "theoretically" maintaining i still want to monitor everything i am far from weighing in just once a month or for that matter once a week. And going back to what works best for my body im going back to calories cycling with it. This week I am on the gym is easily doable this will be burning at least 500 calories monday - theoretically eat 2000 calories 6 days per week...and sunday i wont exercise so thats a 1690 calorie when i work that out over the week....then work out cycling of cals...that balances out to 1955 cals day...or my cycle starting tomorrow will look like this:

saturday 2200
sunday 1600
monday 1900
tuesday 1800
wednesday 2300
thursday 1750
friday 2100

That should hopefully stop my body adjusting and as much as i love my weetbix for breakfast and banana and tahini for morning snack im going to dig up some recipes this weekend maybe make some healthy muffins to vary getting some different foods in....and ill try some different breakfasts....and see how this goes ;) I think the other thing is exercise ive been slack lately....really need to get my ass onto excuse this week since i am on earlies!

Its weird not worrying about losing weight but damn now im worried about gaining! LOL just another mindset i think which i need to master.

Thursday, March 01, 2012

"My Number"

I made a big decision today :) After months of the scales not moving too much and even when they would sneak under 79 kilos to jump up over 79 kilos the following day (has happened 5 times) so I was thinking about it yesterday....and i think quite a while ago i knew i would not get to 72 kilos....and i had been thinking just get to 77 kilos...just into the healthy weight range which was the initial goal....but after thinking about 2-2.5 kilos of that healthy weight range....really my life is not going to dramatically change if i could get to 77 kilos....and while i am a lil saddened to think i am not going to have that moment when i step on the scales and see 77 kilos...ive come to accept that 79 kilos is "my" really doesnt change anything...still going to eat 1690 cals the days i dont exercise....2000 cals the days i do exercise...still going to track my food...still going to have my fitness goals (the current one is to do one unassisted chin up - which trust me i am a LONG way off doing lol) i must admit today ive felt like a weight has lifted off my shoulders....but its so surprising to think i am not thinking 'okay time for KFC' lol i think for years i thought when i get to goal...ill go do a "KFC run" but im so glad its not even been a different eating to what i would normally do! :) So my "weight loss goal" now is to not go over 82 kilos any day over the next year...and on March 1 next year to be under 80 kilos still :) I think its important i really keep a eye on it by doing it this way. Theres still more work on my fitness to be get stronger...more far from done but i truly felt like now was the right time to do this...and this is a good weight for me :)