Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Okies quick post...was surfing around in you tube and i found this video most know i LOVE gilmore gurls...but this song is song by one of my fave singers...brad paisley so i had to post it :)

Okies...firs thing if anyone has problems accessing or reading my journal please email me as they changed it to their new blogger system.

well i went to my first session at curves yesterday...and i think i could get addicted to it ! omg yes the non gym junkie said that !!! I did the whole program (except one machine due to the sore ankles i have) and when i was doing the stretching at the end i got dizzy and was not well for about 45 minutes...but duh me after i realised i hadnt eaten for the 3 hours prior and didnt drink any water while doing it . But then when i woke today i thought oh i wanna go back today ! but alas no clean gym will have to wait till friday. Its very kewl there system shows you how many sessions you have done...when ur next weigh and measure day is . So my weigh and measure day is the 29th of each month, ao by next one i want to have done 12 sessions - at least. they also told me not to worry about the scales too much in the first month...but hopefully ill still have losses each week altho i realise ill be putting on muscle...

Off to dinner with tania tonite =]

Oh and i slept MUCH better last nite,,,,fell asleep just before 8.30pm and slept till 3.30am didnt wake up once then i fell back asleep for another hour a things are getting better with the sleeping pattern....ok off i go !

Monday, January 29, 2007

Well omg lots to tell !

Firstly ---- i HATE graveyard shifts !!! 3 days later and my sleeping pattern is still up the creek. But its 7.30pm and im still awake !!! ive literally been like a zombie and so tired to the point of aching eyes and feeling sick...hopefully ill sleep good tonite and be back to normal tomorrow.

Now...yanno one of my goals for this year was to get my social life going and ive done a few things to assist with that =] a old friend of mine from school who is still single too who ive known for like 22 years or something who i lost contact with about 5 years ago...well i rang her yesterday...we talked for a bit then she called back tonite and she is coming over thursday nite =] Then also the gay n lesbian festival (feast) i applied to do volunteer work for...wrote to me and said i was accepted and just need to wait for details on the orientation =] So another big step !!

After much debate i went and checked out curves today and joined ! $49 a month (much better then the $86 a fortnite the other gym was charging) and this is a lot more convenient. I am going there tomorrow for my first full session. I did try some of their machines out today. And we set goals for my birthday to lose 172 cm, be a size 18 and lose 40.8 kilos. im wrapped !

And for the next news...i lost 1.6 kilos !!!!!!! I am now back over 20 kilos...20.1 kilos to be exact. Amazing to thing since january 5 i have lost 5.2 kilos. Okies off to eat my chicken n sundried tomato pasta have a good week all !!!!

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Well...was sitting down watching a episode of oprah today i recorded that got me really thinking. It was about women who had let themselves go...due to either a bad relationship or whatever. And Oprah asked the question to look at photos from 10-15 years ago....and it really got me thinking to how my life is different. I mean 20 years ago i was 19. I was out socially a lot about a size 16 and living on fast food. Until i was about 25 i went out nightclubbing a lot...but i guess i could see the start of bad habits now...sleeping during the day...up all night...then at 21 i joined the bank...i had a couple of relationships at this time 9with guys no less !) One was luke he was in the navy and another was a off and on situation with a guy i had known since i was 15 whose name was ray. Anyway during that time i knew i liked gurls...i simply didnt focus on it. I remember times where family members would say stuff like "when are you going to be married?"...okies heres a tip...dont ask people that !!! What on earth does anyone get out of that question - especially if the person is single. all it does is make the person your asking feel inadequate...when i came out and that question stopped being asked was one of the biggest reliefs for me. When i was 29 i bought my first computer - buying a computer ive always viewed as being a negative and a positive thing for me. I obviously have a addictive personality which i know via my relationship with food....when i bought the computer a few months after i ran across this chat program called virtual places...and in it ran across a "grrls domain" room....i loved this room. It was full of bi girls and lesbians. Suddenly the fact that i didnt have a boyfriend was not a issue...i just got to talk to people who i could relate to which i loved but being my personality is addictive at that time i spent way too much time in it...even giving up work so i could be online more (not wise to do when you have a mortgage) so whilst the computer enabled me to really just be "me" and not have to fit into anyones mould i also became addicted to it. I was heavily addicted up till about 3 1/2 years ago. Now dont get me wrong i still enjoy chat but its not my "life" and i know want my "real" life more then ever. i am at this stage in my life of being very focussed on me...i want to get healthy...and really do this program 110%. I still go in most days to chat and play backgammon while watching has some advantages it distracts me from food and temptations. But im not there 8 hours a day or nothing. Sometimes on my days off i may sit there for a chunk of a day lol and oprahs show today really ingrained in me that i dont want to be letting myself go no more. She is doing step by step shows on this so im gonna keep watching...and keep working on things.

And tonite is the last nite of graves !!! YAY yay yay so glad...only another 6 hours and then i got 3 days off woooooo hoooooooo

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Well today has been challenging !

I woke up at 6am (having only slept 6 hours) feeling completely draining and exhaused. I lay in bed contemplating on what to have for dinner...the cupboards were bare and the thought of KFC was tempting...after umming and ahhing for half an hour i thought bugger dressed ... drank a superdyn drink and went out and did my grocery shopping ! And omg did i shop...$190 later !!! And i shopped differently....firstly i decided i will make some home made pita bread pizzas cos i can add lots of vegetables like mushrooms, capsicum, onion and pineapple etc to them. i bought a roasted chicken (which ill remove the skin from), fat free semi sundried tomato, fetta cheese and real pizza sauce. Along with the vegetables for them. I then also bought some veal, beef pieces and chicken breast and THEN i bought carrots, mushies, capsicum, onion, potato, green beans, mandarins, bananas, cherry tomatos, lettuce, onions, strawberries and salad onions !! LOL who woulda believed it??? And so far today ive had a mandarin and a banana. My lunch had pieces of asparagus in them and surprise surprise i didnt mind i think i will buy some and next time i make my low fat cream pasta sauce i will try and add aspragus to it. Hopefully when i get home from work i wont be too tired to prepare the pizzas. So i really feel proud of todays decisions and i feel more focusse and today i WILL get off the bus one bus stop early.

When i get home i gonna make ww bacon and a egg on toast i think mmm mmmm thats only 4.5 points altogether =]

Oh yeah and im going back to tracking...the last month or so i jsut feel like ive been playing around with this weight loss ... time to get serious and really start to tackle this weight loss. Ill also be weighing in next monday night !! Okies im off all !!!

Monday, January 22, 2007

Well last nite was beyond boring it ended up over 3 hours between calls and one point and i really struggled at about 4am-ish to stay awake. So tonite i bought in my laptop...ive loaded the sims game and gonna play that later. When i went home after last nite i was online and decided to go looking more at the pinksofa website (the website for women i mentioned a while ago i was a member of) ... anyway ended up finding this link for a SA lesbian site...its called Lesbian Tribune and is awesome with so much info. Well i eventually looked at the feast website...(feast is the "queer" festival held in November in Adelaide each year) and i eventually filled out a form to volunteer for it. Anyway we will wait and see if i hear anything from it.

I slept for about 6 hours tonite...till i woke up all hot,,,blah shoulda put the a/c on before i went to bed.

Food wise was under points by 1.5 points...yay me !!!

Okies off i go...enjoy your tuesday all !
OMG its cold. Its 3.09am and i am at work. Last nite i bought a jacket and didnt wear it so i didnt bother bringing it tonite,,,,well they got the a/c on or some chit and im freezing. i so just wanna curl up under a blanket and get cozy.

These graves shifts (11.30pm-7.30am) are not too bad at all. They are really quiet...tonite more so then last nite (i havent taken a phone call for a hour and a half) so ive been browsing the net and just chatting. When i went home last nite i stayed up till just after 9am and then went to sleep and slept thru till 3.15pm. Its a lil hard cos you try and go to sleep and its light i9n the room. I ahve wooden venetians so they are pretty good at blocking out the sunlight but not great. Tonite before i came in i went into my bedroom at 9pm to try and nap and it was sooooo dark in the room and my only thought was i cannot wait till the graves are over and i can go to sleep when its dark for a full nite. I am a lil tired today but not too bad considering...but tomorrow is day 3....nearly hump day !!!

Yesterday food wise with this time change really thru me i was nibbling food all day...admittedly healthy food but i still woulda gone over points and in a email to tania i said i was thinking about core. Well surprise surprise i have changed my mind about this ! LOL But i have done some rethinking. For this week my aim is simply to get thru to saturday without being too sleep deprived. Today (midnight sat nite to midnite sunday nite...even with going out for dinner where i had limited choice i still had 2 points left over (yay me) But come saturday i am going shopping and going to shop a lil difference. I think partly ive got a bit bored with the food but also i think i need to eat some vegetables to help keep me full and to avoid picking between meals. So i found a recipe for beef and red wine casserole recipe which is obviously a casserole with mushrooms in it so will make that on the weekend. im also planning to make vegetable soup (which i will blend a bit so i dont get any nasty chunky vegetable bits blah) and also...beans is something i dont will make a low fat cheese sauce and pour over them and have a few times. Doing this all should build up my energy levels even more as well. So this is the plan of attack for the next few weeks. I was gonna get of the bus one stop early today going home and walk but im too tired i think so i will tackle that next week when im not sleep deprived.

And isnt it funny thru friendships u make thru ww or their site or whatever how they encourage u? Tania emailed me today said she had updated her journal...and so i went over for a peak on their and she mentioned how my motivation motivates her...and then her comment was kinda like...hell yeh shes right...i have done good...but time to step it up a gear.

okies not much else to say - hope everyone has a good week =]

Friday, January 19, 2007

well this 3 days off thing is going well... :) yesterday i went and got my new puter. Its a laptop and gorgeousssssssssssssss 120GB HD, 1GB ram, a core duo processor, widescreen witht eh new viiv thing (that was for any techie heads LOL) anyway its great so slim i love it. ive never had a dvd burner before and i have to burn the back up for need to go buy some blank dvds.

On to ww....weighed in and lost 600 grams taking me now to a total loss of 18.5 which i am really happy with. i mean remember not only should u aim to lose 500 grams to a kilo per week for it to be healthy weight loss....i also went out to mexican and had michaels bbq (where i drank 5 shots of zambucca lol) more important then the big losses in my mind is more consistency, and plus as i am being more socially active these things will occur. Tomorrow nite i start graves i think i have that all sussed and planned out and the plan this week is to really focus on my water and to get of the bus one stop early on the way home.

okies off i go to enjoy my day off :)

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

elloz all...yay last day and then 2 days off and then tomorrowwwwwwwww im going shopping for a new puter. My poor lil lap top is really struggling of late...if the day is too hot it cant stay on. Its a purchase ive regretted for a long obviously doesnt have a sufficient cooling system. So tomorrow i am off to look at desk tops. Im getting it on a rent to buy plan and the plan is to really chug the money into it and then soon as its paid off get a new lounge suite. So thats this years plan LOL

Food wise been good .... was under points by about 3 points yesterday. And like i said the other day am noticing some difference in my clothes =]

Okies off i go !!

Monday, January 15, 2007

Well last night all went good !!! Was a fun nite and i didnt eat TOO badly - hell it was mexican remember ! We had nachos which we all shared (yum yum yummmmmmmmmmm) and then i had what was prolly one of the small dinners...a thin bread thingy with chicken and tomato in it, a beef taco and a rice with carrots n corn in it (and i ate half the rice ! ) i also had one glass of wine...i prolly went over by 2 or 3 points i reckon as i had 14 points to use. AND when i went to get ready i thought oh ill wear one of the new tops i bought at katies. One was a black top which fitted me perfectly 2 weeks ago and one was a green top which was too tight...WELL the black top is too big acrosss my top half its not onto ebay it will have to go. Then i thought well ill try the green top on and it fits ! its firm fitting but really quite nice (i took a photo ill upload it tomorrow maybe) then today when getting dressed i was putting on my new t shirt from katies...which has really been fitting me nicely but i noticed its got a bit of room to spare around my hips ! so yay yay yay.

Okies off to do some work...have a good monday all - only 2 more days and a weekend for me - yay !!!

Sunday, January 14, 2007

well i didnt end up going for a walk last nite. But i really need to get my act together with walking. The thing that always puts me off is that ive seen friend start exercising and their weight either stalls or they gain...i had one friend really struggle for quite a long time after joining curves and i know at this point getting those kilos knocked off is really important. i am the type who can give up easily and if i start gaining or losing very little cos of exercise i quite possibly would think ... i give up.

But food wise things are going good. I ended up a couple of points under yesterday. Tonight i am going out for mexican. i have 15 points saved. So no desserts or anything...but i will simply choose a nice meal and enjoy seeing everyone. So i finish work at 5.30 pm and dont start work till 2.30pm tomorrow which is really nice.

Maybe i will go for a walk in the morning...then again maybe not LOL...

okies off i go

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Have i mentioned one day weekends suck? LOL....well they do....had jsut yesterday off and now i am back at work again for 5 days before i get a few days off.

Came very prepared today bought a wrap with chicken, low fat cheese and low fat mayo for lunch. yumm yumm - 18 minutes and i can go make it...and after having that will have only eaten 11 points for the day (and im prolly over counting some points) which leaves me 16 points, and for dinner i am having a chicken schnitzel with oven fries. I think tonite too i may go out for a walk...i say this a lot but rarely do LOL

Tania made a comment on yesterdays post...that i seem happy...and guess what???? shes right !!! lol i just am at a very happy place at the moment. i hate the one day weekends but am really enjoying the rotating roster...ive lost 17.9 kilos now so back on starting to go out a bit more (which was the plan for 2007) and i think a big thing is that im not in chat as much. So things are good good good !!!!

Tania i did email you about catching either reply when you get a chance or leave me a message on msn and jaxx your right....some gay guys are really as sweet as hell.

okies off to make my lunch have a good saturday all !!!

Friday, January 12, 2007

well i owe a post eh? LOL my sister emailed me saying....howd u go today LOL so a post must be overdue.

Well last nights bbq was sooooooooooo much fun ! Michael had lots of healthy food (altho i did pick at some cc's lol) He had marinated bite size pieces of chicken in soya sauce, ginger and lime and cooked it on the bbq - which is what i mostly ate. He also had porterhouse steak but i didnt eat that. and entree type thing he had stir fryed prawns with i think it was chilli sauce and tiny meatballs. And then he had 3 healthy salads and i filled my plate up with that. After i also had a christmas mince pie. As this was our christmas function we had secret santa too. Which was quite funny. For mine...and this was so cute....cos....for those who dont know my nickname at work is "princess" i sign my internal emails princess lol and msot people call me it. Well i got a mobile phone sock which is pink and says on it "call me princess" a pink beanie doll that says "princess" and a stationary set...of a note book, pencil cup holder, memo pad and pencil case...and they are all covered in soft pink material with the word .... you guessed it "princess" on it LOL im taking them all in to work tomorrow for on my desk. Then after most had left...there were 5 left and michael starts pouring shots of zambucca and is like c'mon you need to have one...well turned into 4 or 5 LOL so was a really good nite and michaels brother ended up giving me a lift home...came home tipsy went online played in a tourney and won it ! LOL (so yes tania one or two drinks LOL - you know me too well)

Anyways onto other news......i lost 3 kilos !!! wooooooot !!!!! so my loss is now back at 17.9 very very happy. Oh and at the bbq one of the bois came up to me and whispered in my ear "you've lost weight" lol hes such a sweetheart .... in my the only lesbian but we have 4 gay bois and every one of them is sweet as was real sweet of him !

Okies off i go !!! Will be back in a few days with a new update !

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Well only a hour then we finish work and head off to Michaels for the barbeque. its actually our team function for xmas...we are doing secret santa n all. Ive been very good i have about 7 points saved this 14.5 points left for the day anyway. Michael just left to make salads and he is pretty healthy so im sure there will be lots of salads. But im not gonna gonna take pepsi max and drink that...and i will most likely just eat chicken and salad. Then of course tomorrow morning i have my weigh in...and then after that i will go do the grocery shopping then off home to play gammon in the afternoon...and then tomorrow nite i will finish watching the move the break up.

Was up bright n early again today...6am....and i didnt leave for work till 8.20am...i am really starting to enjoy that time in the morning.

Okies will be back tomorrow nite sometime with my weigh in result - fingers crossed!

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Well day 6 and i been really good...very focussed. Came in to work today a bit early and one of the girls was taking a call but the customer was yelling at her and so this girl got upset and started crying so i took over the call half an hour before i was suppose to start work. So i get to leave half an hour earlier tonite AND sarah the gurl bought me a hot chocolate LOL

im loving being home in my evenings again o0oooooooo and i think i won some money (prolly $5 with my luck LOL) u did that tv trivia competition with my foxtel tv1 last nite and i answered all 10 questions correctly so supposedly you share in $1000 depends how mnay other people got 10 right. Apparantly they write to you within 21 days with a cheque to let you know what you won.

Well done jaxx on your loss !!! yay u !!!

Tomorrow night is the bbq at gonna take my bottled water and eat chicken and salad and be super good...and hopefully have a great weigh in on friday morning! Will be back after that with the weigh in result!

Monday, January 08, 2007

On the weight watchers 30+ kilos to lose forum they do a "i am so proud today because..." thread...its a great thread cos you get thinking about what you did to help your weightloss...makes you think about yourself a bit but also great to see other peoples responses.

Anyway went out to lunch with Tania yesterday to a lil restuarant in melbourne street...we off course shared a serve of bruschette (can't imagine going out for a meal with tania where bruschetta wasnt included lol) and then i had pasta with a pollo sauce (rose sauce with chicken) was very yummy !!!! And of course great company. I always enjoy my lunches with Tania or even our chats in msn cos they generally revolve around our weight loss journey but like me tania looks at the other ways it effects our lives we were discussing yesterday about treating ourselves more to enhance our self image (like facials, nice clothes etc) but i love that and i think it is really important cos losing numbers on the scales is really only part of this journey. Most people when they put on weight hibernate and hide from the world so i truly think getting a social life is also a really important part, and all the other things that play into this and have run off effects into my work life, family etc etc

And tania yes yes about msn LOL and jaxx? can you add me to msn? my email addy for it is

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Was talking to Tania the other nite on msn and she said,,,,,whenever my weight loss is going good everything else around me goes good too. And i have to agree with her....this week i work 9 out of 10 days...and normally id be dreading it and thinking i dont want tomorrow to come. But instead im looking forward to i am heading out to lunch with Tania,,,,when i come home ill do some laundry and then i think ill watch breaking up with jennifer annsiton (mmmm) on foxtel. Then i will be good the next 4 days and look forward to the bbq at michaels on thursday night. Where i am gonna be very good and simply try and have a good night and not focus on food. There should be plenty of healthy foods....and i simply wont drink. i really am determined for a good loss when i weigh in on friday. im still getting these damn sinus headaches...around the eyes...theyre a damn pain in the ass i swear...

i am so blonde today i swear the proxide they put on my hair is seeping into my brain. i been playing some gammon and saying the most stupid things...i swear LOL

okies off i go for my sunday...enjoy all =]

Friday, January 05, 2007

piwell gawd what a day ! Worked till 9pm last nite...went home and ended up talking to Tania on msn messenger till a lil after 11.15pm...went to bed....and watched a lil dave letterman and then lo n behaold woke up at 5am!!!! and could not get back to sleep. By 10 to 6 i gave up and got up and mixed up a ww chocolate mousse and played a couple of gammon tourneys before heading off to medicare & ww. WELL!!! i did things a lil differently...i ate breakfast and a can of diet coke before i went...wore jeans and heavier shoes and needed to go to the loo !!! LOL and had a HUGE gain of 5.4 kilos...i was incredibly jacked but i also expected it and i was so glad that i had already decided to stay for the meeting. Which i am glad about as im sure it gave me extra motivation. ive been spot on today and for when i go home i have a ww choc mousse and i will slice up a banana and throw those pieces in and have a yummy snack before bed (my head is pounding)

Tomorrow i have a lazy gammon...prolly catch up on some of my tv shows ive recorded (scrubs my latest show im liking) and then a walk in the evening. Sunday i am off to lunch with tania where i KNOW we both will be good...(altho a lil bruschetta of course will come our way) i have a few social things on this week...a bbq at my TLs house thursday nite (which will be challenging but my weigh in next morning so ill be good) and then the sunday night i am going out for mexican - eek !!!

okies will finish this from home....

well im home...i have a horrid headache...and its worse when i lean i think its either cos ive cut back on my food...or its related to the gonna have my banana n chocolate mousse in a minute then toddle off to bed and get some decent sleep. Anyone knows of good healthy choices for mexican that does NOT have beans in it...please lemme know LOL

okies im off have a good nite all =]

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

omg how cute n adorable is this layout??? i love it !!!!
well its amazing how bad food affects you. i havent been sick for 5 months. Anyway monday i felt off colour...and tuesday when i woke my left cheek was killing me. Went to the docs and turned out i had acute sinusitis...but after now 5 doses of antibiotics i am starting to feel back to normal again (also ive eaten better the last few days) Anyway i just cleaned out the fridge...its defrosting at the moment. Before work i will do a fresh grocery shop and friday before work i will go to weight watchers and weigh in and face D day LOL

Amazing how much better i feel my normal self have been so lethargic it was horrid. Tomorrow i will walk up to the shops which ive never walked before...hmmmm guess would be 40 minutes. Then im gonna start walking for 30 minutes each day....i really wanna boost this weight loss along.

I did rejoin pink sofa...and a gurl messaged me the other day...that they (her and her gf) are organising social functions....a dinner in a few weeks presuming i am not working i am gonna go.

Okies think thats all...have a good day all =]

kazz =]

Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy new year all !!!

OMG so long since i posted...ive been off work since the 22nd but go back to work really not too sad...i need my routine again. Christmas was great, my sis her hubby and their kids came down. Which was great. My lil niece is 2 1/2 and at the cuddly stage...she just wants to sit on ur lap (albeit by running and jumping onto it lol) and show ya her dollhouse n stuff shes veryyyyyyyy adorable !! The boys are getting older and so getting more into their own interests...but was really good seeing them all. We played uno quite a bit...made for some fun. i also went to the movies !! first time for several years. Went with my sis and their kids to see happy feet...very cute movie.

But of course food wise i was bad LOL. i am sure ive put on 3-4 kilos. but i go back on wednesday lunchtime. theyve moved my meeting so this week i will go on wednesday in town before work...and then next week well we will see where LOL

it was funnny how i noticed how quickly the bad food made me feel. pimples and feeling dehydrated. And some foods i use to love i discoverred i dont even like so much anymore. i use to love grilled cheese on i really dont like it...same with microwave popcorn neither i enjoyed. But anyway i will weigh in on wednesday and get back on track.

i went to katies last friday...they were having a 50% sale. i bought quite a few new clothes...quite a lot are too tight but another 5-10 kilos and they should fit me. And one casual top and one going out top fits me already, so i have clothes to wear again. In fact i have added a photo of one of my new tops this was taken on saturday