Sunday, June 28, 2015

Ahhhhh the scales.....

Woke up this morning with the sniffles still and decided walking down the beach wasnt going to help it go away permanantly so didnt go on the walk.

But heres the thing....yesterday I did stick with only 2 cans of diet coke...yesterday morning I was 119.9 kilos....ate 1800 cals....and this morning 118.2 kilos! Thats the lightest I have been since I got back on track. Its only a 300 gram loss since last weigh in but lets put it in I worked out I ate a minimum of 2500 calories on thursday...oooops! I then did 1200 on friday and 1800 yesterday. Obviously a lot of this is fluid...but my average losses have been 300-400 grams and I still have another 3 days till weigh in.

It comes down to two things (in my brain anyway) either its the reduction in the artificial sweetener or its the calorie cycling. Honestly I dont think I have done calorie cycling long enough to know if its from that, but the thing is calorie cycling ALWAYS worked well for me so it may have had some impact. I think tho the cutting back on the diet coke has prolly had the biggest impact. I have tried to give up diet coke so many times and i have lasted even for up to 3 months before but it never lasts, so im going to try a different tact. Ill stick with my two cans a day currently (one with lunch and one with dinner) if the losses stall again i will then cut back to one. Jillian talks all the time about how artificial sweeteners affect your body...time for me to suck it up and realise she is right! Now with that there is sooooooooooo many ingredients in our foods that she classifies as "frankenstein foods"....for the moment....I will just work on minimising the artificial sweeteners and go from there.

Its exciting tho to think I could possibly be under 118 kilos by wednesday. That said it may not happen....back to the gym tomorrow and it may take a few weeks for my body to adjust to the exercise so we will see how that goes.

Not much else to say except I am super excited to be in the next 3 months phase of this journey! Who knows where my body will be by late september. I didnt talk about it a lot in yesterdays post but sticking to this for 12 weeks is huge to me....its the first time since mum passed away that I have been consistent and stuck at it for more then a few weeks...funny how the mind suddenly all of a sudden kicks into high gear, in a lot of ways hitting 12 weeks is more important then the amount of weight loss....cos if I can do it for 3 months i can do it long term (after all its a never ending journey) and thats the most important thing. Its wonderful if someone can lose 1.5 kilos a week but its no value if 3 weeks later you are giving those situations its much better to be the person losing weight slower but consistently :)

Saturday, June 27, 2015

12 weeks today!

I have been back on track 12 weeks today. I woke feeling good. I decided to do a progress pic - threw on my workout pants and a top and I knew i felt smaller...its weird....dont get me wrong.....I am still very big....but....i am starting to feel more compact on my upper body.

I then tried on a top I bought a week ago that I thought I could wear but...thought if i was slightly smaller would fit better...its a size 14 from autograph....stretchy material and obviously generous sizing but still it fits :)

After the scales jumped up to 120.5 kilos :( they were back down to 119.7 kilos this morning. So happy with that.

I just saw someones instagram who i knew many years ago...just as casual aquaintances but havent seen for a few years....she not only lost weight but has got seriously into exercising...she looks amazing. I must admit it was very inspiring.

So i have gone back to calorie cycling. One of the things I want to continually focus on is eating clean. I am definitely eating cleaner then I was even a month ago...but I am trying to clean it up even more. My focus being on more fruit and vegies. I am going to try and have tuna and salad for lunch a couple of days this week. Not every day...but try to incorporate it more.

Prolly the biggest thing I am still figuring out is exercise....I dont want to get 6 months or 12 months down the track and think.....oh I wish I had done this or that more. I think I need to try and get over the fear of the treadmills and dedicate a bit of lovin to them ;) I think if I can go back to my jogging in intervals on them I would really benefit combined with the stairs. There is no doubting the stairs really help me. I have also wondered if I should just stick to some classes (problem of them is timing doesnt always work) or should i do some actual weight training combined with the cardio. I think I might stick to the classes with the cardio...hope its the right decision. I could do at least pump, balance and RPM.

Tomorrow morning Tania and I are going walking then out for some breakfast. Im doing nothing tonight apart from settling in front of netflix ;) Nice having a slow weekend after lots of busy ones!

Friday, June 26, 2015

Putting more of the pieces of the puzzle together

So have spent quite a chunk of tonight going thru my journal from 2010 when I lost a large amount of my weight, and I noticed a few things.

First I was focused on having variety. My saturdays used to be my high calorie this may seem bizarre but I would eat mcdonalds for breakfast ( a sausage mcmuffin and a oj), lunch would be turkish bread with porchetta and swiss cheese, and dinner a yiros. Sounds like a yummy day eh? Im not advocating mcdonalds as healthy food...but having one day a week where I ate completely different seemed to work...i think mentally it helped too cos it was kinda like a "24 hour diet break" even tho I stuck to a specific amount of calories. Also on saturdays I use to do 2-3 hours of exercise so I could get away with it. The other days of the week I was very focused on not eating processed foods...but I also tried to regularly focus on different foods. And that may have something cos I am the friggin queen of eating the same thing everyday, so I am going to focus on eating different things (and no not running out to maccas for breakfast tomorrow)

I didnt drink as much diet coke as I do now. When the losses seemed to come was when I was drinking 2 cans of diet coke a day or less. So starting tomorrow a can with lunch and a can with of the day its water.

Calorie cycling plain and simple worked. I dunno what it is about my body but i think it just adapts to same food...same calories day in and day out just too easily. So I did have one of my calorie cycles i use to follow when at this weight so ill do it for a week or so and see how it goes.

Im still not going to be having cheese apart from feta or on saturday lunch i can have swiss....thats how I did it before so will go back to that.

Calorie wise today the aim was 1200 cals (altho i try to never go under that so if its a 1200 cal day i like to be between 1200 and 1250 and i hit 1245 cals :)

Oh and one other thing....after eating not great yesterday I woke this morning and my reflux (that caused the cough last year) had flared up....omg i felt disgusting. The scales were up to :( Up to 120.5 kilos but worse then that was how I certainly wasnt hard to get back on track today! LOL

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Operation T shirt....

I have been doing some reading on PCOS and weightloss over the last 24 hours or so and I remembered something.

Now I wear a fitbit...I love it...its a charge HR so I wear it 24/7 and no drama. Now something I notice people focus on a lot these days is "steps" ive never really focused on that too much apart from liking hitting 10,000 steps a day cos I am more focused on how many calories I have burnt in a workout session. Now I can do 15,000 steps a day but does that mean I did a hard core session with sweating? Nope. That said its "nice" to know how many steps etc I have done.

So when I was reading this info (and I didnt agree with all of it)...I said for PCOS sufferers you really need to exercise most days, and exercise with intensity. It reminded me of a couple of things the first is that when I was this weight last time the cardio i use to do was sprints on the treadmill. Now dont be fooled they were not fast haha...but they worked me...I remember just 30 minutes jogging at a speed of 6.2 with a incline of 1 would have me huffing and puffing. And I use to do that anytime I had spare time at the gym...between classes, before PT etc. Now I am not about to do that again....mostly cos I am friggin petrified of falling of the treadmill.

So I need some kind of intense cardio I can anyone I watch you tube a LOT there are a number of fitness channels I watch and a number of them even tho they either have minimal amount of weight to lose....after they do their weight sessions they do 20 minutes of cardio...there cardio is on the stepper. Now i have used the stepper and am not scared of it ;) but i am pretty damn positive I cannot keep it up for 2 minutes lil own 20 minutes LOL. So i think at least for the next month...after each workout I am going to do a minimum of 20 minutes of stair climbing. The gym is on the 7th floor so 7 flights of steps (or 206 steps! trainer and I counted them not so long ago LOL) And if i need to stop every few flights for 30 seconds or so i can without looking like a dill. I also remember when I had a injury once...and this was when i first started doing stairs cos the physio said no treadmill...and after 6 weeks or so of no treadmill and just the stairs...I went back on the treadmill and did some running and it was so much easier ..... the stairs really helped with my fitness and endurance.

The other thing that the articles mentioned was doing weight training (altho one article said due to the increase of testosterone in those with PCOS to do light weights lol...but i disagree with that...I never did light weights and didnt hurt me....but of course if you do have PCOS dont take my word for it...thats simply what worked for me)

I know back in the day I was doing body pump 3-4 times a I want to get back to that. I also want to get back to body balance, not only to help with flexibility but also for the mental calmness it can bring (and I might even try yoga as well) was a bad eating day. But I always remember that no one is perfect...I am not perfect and nor are you....and you know what? Im sure before I get to goal I will have another bad eating day again too.

So it is 8 weeks tomorrow till Sydney....I have a top that I bought last week....a lil tshirt....thats too tight to wear is skin tight....ive attached some pics here:

So this ^^^^^^^^ up there is operation t I will focus on something apart from the scales.I really wanna wear this shirt on the plane and be comfortable in it. Also I am going to weigh in tomorrow morning and then am going to try and not weigh in until wednesday....not sure I can do that but I will give it a try!

So next week is my last week of 3.30pm finishes at work for 3 weeks. I am doing for the 3 weeks after that 4pm finishes....and I am working saturdays but having sunday and mondays my plan for the first 4 weeks of operation tshirt...for next week is:

monday: PT and 30 minute stairs
tuesday: PT and 30 minute stairs and body pump
wednesday: my own workout (i want to do a lil weight i need to nut out a lil program for the thinking 30 minutes of bent over rows, dead lifts, bicep curls, bench press) and then 30 minutes of the stairs (and maybe yoga after)
thursday: 45 minutes body pump + 30 minute stairs
friday: 30 minute stairs then body pump
saturday: body pump + body balance + 20 minute stairs
Sunday: rest day/walking

The three weeks following that will be:

monday: PT and 45 minutes body pump + 45 minutes body balance
tuesday: PT and 15 minutes stair climbing and body pump
wednesday:my own workout (i want to do a lil weight i need to nut out a lil program for the thinking 30 minutes of bent over rows, dead lifts, bicep curls, bench press) and then 30 minutes of the stairs (and maybe yoga after)
thursday: 45 minutes RPM + 30 minutes stairs
friday:body pump
saturday:rest day
sunday: my own workout (havent worked out what this will be yet....prolly a legs one tho) with 20 minutes stairs

That would give me a good mix....pump 3 times a week...body balance once a week....intense cardio 15-30 minutes at least 5 days a week...and 2 PT sessions.

I will also take weekly photos in the tshirt so I can track my progress. Of course i still want the scales to move downwards but at least by focusing on that....getting this exercise in...i will hopefully see body shape changes.

Im not gonna think about where I want to be at christmas or next year....i will just focus on the next 8 weeks and go from there.

Oh and in other news, decided to do calorie cycling at least for a week and see how it will look like this:

monday: 1400
tuesday: 1200
wednesday: 1200
thursday: 1600
friday:  1200
saturday: 1800
sunday: 1200

Now whenever i post about calorie cycling I always get when I first found out about calorie cycling this was the link that i used to base it on so basically for me the way i work it out...with they day after weigh in day being day 1:

day 1: low
day 2: second highest cal day
day 3: low
day 4: super high day
day 5: low
day 5: third highest cal day
day 6: low
day 7: low

I would have the super high cal day at the LATEST on day 4. I weigh in on wednesday mornings so saturday is basically my day 4, and it just works...mentally to have a high day on saturday so i have a bit of wriggle room when going out for dinner...and then the following days being lower allow for any water loss if i gain fluid from the high cal day. But anyway if your interested read that link I attached.

So thats the exercise and eating plan for the next 8 weeks...hopefully with time that tshirt will fit me better!

Monday, June 22, 2015


Ive been home sick today. I woke up all stuffed up in the nose and a headache so decided to play it safe. Been in bed all day (and still am) and am feeling better.

The last hour or so I have been doing some researching on PCOS and weight loss...there is two things I have discovered which may be impacting my lack of weight loss. The funny thing is they both kinda contradict each other. So I will try one for 5 days or so...and then see what the result is. Funnily enough the first thing is something Lauren has been saying to me...and thats to hit 40% protein. Apparantly whether you are pear shape or have PCOS you should hit 40% protein. With 1200 calories thats 120 grams of protein. This was the article I found this info on Protein to carbohydrates ratio so thats what I am going to aim for...fingers cross it brings the losses.

If that doesnt work....the next thing I will try is to cut out whey from my diet. Whey apparantly can lead to insulin fluctuations (who knew???) and I have been eating a lot of whey in cheese, cottage cheese, protein powder, protein bars... I never ate a lot of any of those foods when I lost my weight before so the whey may be the answer...but I want to try the 40% protein first.

As of this morning I was up 1.5 kilos since last wednesday....which means since last monday on 1200 calories I have lost 200 grams LOL...

I am pissed about the whole process...and there is a lil part of me that thinks stuff this...but I am still keeping on. Im worried its going to get to a point where its like..hands up in the air...."we got no freaking idea why you are not losing weight"..... it does kinda remind me of the early days of weight loss of "in the too hard basket"

But i am determined not to feel sorry for myself...I need to just keep on keeping on.

So I was 120.4 kilos this morning....while i wont be 118.9 kilos or less by would be nice to at least get back under 120 kilos...fingers crossed....todays protein will end up at 114 grams which is not quite where it needs to be....tomorrow I have planned it for 138 grams...will reasses next sunday/monday....if no good still...I will cut out the whey.

Sunday, June 21, 2015

The weekends over :(

So its sunday night already :(

I had a good weekend. Friday night i went shopping ;) Bought 4 new tops only one did i buy at full price lol...all size 18's 2 are a tad too tight but should hopefully fit me before long. Saturday morning I went into the gym for body pump, so did a 60 minute body pump class but before the class I also did some exercises...rowed 500 metres on the rower, 10 reps of 30 kilos on chest press (didnt realise it was on 30 lol thought it was 25....that was a struggle), 1 set of 12 reps of 5 kilo inclined dumbbell bench press, 2 setsof 12 reps of 6 kilo inclined dumbbell bench press, 12 reps of shrugs with smith machine with 20 kilos, then another set of 12 with 25 kilos....and also some shoulder warm up exercises with the cable row machine.

I had a few social occassions last week but I feel I chose fairly good options. After the gym on saturday i then went and got my eyebrows waxed (gawd can you believe the last time i had them done was in brisbane on the day i was going to see october poor neglected eyebrows). I then went with my friend Martine to Tanias and from there we went to Tanias hairdresser where we were each going to see a psychic. LOL. Not sure I believe in that stuff but it was interesting none the less.

I dont know if I have ever really discussed my hair on this blog. But I hate wearing my hair loose unless I scrunch it. When i was my hair if i put a comb thru it then leave it i get these nice loose casual curls but soon as I put a comb or brush thru it it is like frizz city which is why 99% of the time I wear it in a ponytail. Anyway tania had a hair straightener so i borrowed it to see if I could straighten it (I have never done this myself before) anyway I did it...and it wasnt perfectly straight but OMG such a improvement on i wore it loose....i felt very fancy! I have attached a pic below :)

So i think next on the agenda is to buy myself a hair straightener. Actually thinking...this just kinda came to me....Lauren told me to think of a goal  for when I get to 115 i might not buy the hair straightener yet....but once I get down to 115 kilos (presuming i ever do!) that will be what i get. :)

So onto my weight loss...since this is a weight loss blog...still no action on the scales! It is now sitting around 120-121 kilos...didnt weigh myself this morning cos i stayed at Tanias last night...but if I am under 120 kilos in the morning I will be very happy. So this week I am gonna have a gain...definitely not a loss...and highly unlikely a stay the same.

I am "kinda" okay with that. From going back and looking at my journey over the years....I realise when I get back into exercise this is not uncommon for me. I get that it may take up to 6 weeks or so to get a result. Do i think i am putting on fat? Absolutely not. But it still doesnt feel great. Now I realise I am not this...and I dont want a pile of "oh your not kazz your wonderful" type messages lol....but it does at this point make me feel like i am not saying i think i am a failure...cos i am not....but i just feel like i am failing. I get this is just my stupid body and how it reacts...but still frustrating. I think the issue for me is more about what others think then what I think. The other day someone was talking to me (telling me i shouldnt count calories lol) and anyway i said...i need eating 1200 calories.....exercising 45-60 minutes 4-5 times a week and not losing and his response was "the weight should be falling off you". And you know he is right, but the fact it isnt I keep replaying that line in my brain. And I know I am not doing anything wrong...but still it kinda feels like it. And I must admit when you are eating such a lil amount, and spending your cold winter evenings traipsing to the gym instead of going home to where it is is very challenging. Now I am not saying I am not seeing the benefits of this. I sure I am. When I look at that pic I took last know I really liked it...I looked at it and felt good about me. I didnt feel like I looked like a ugly troll skin looks healthy, my hair looks fairly healthy I felt good..."normal"....not like I stand out.

I know specially in body pump classes i am really focusing on my form. And my back is handling pump so much better and while i am not on high weights yet...i feel i am doing that the right way...not giving into my ego to just go for heavier weights.

I prolly am not sure I still have the workouts balanced. I have the 12wbt program. The cardio sessions which are for monday and wednesdays I have....and i sweat in them. They are not ridiculously hard but definitely get some calories burnt. The resisitance programs which are tuesday and thursday I am not finding very challenging. They said from my fitness score....I should be on the beginners program...I looked at the intermediate and even that didnt look very challenging. Cos I dont need much rest because its not overly challenging....discounting the warm up and stretches...I did their resistance workout in only 20 minutes last week LOL. I think one of the things I struggle with is that balance of cardio vs resistance work. its a hard one for me which I have mentioned many times...i wish i could go back to combat...but i cannot work out why i started falling in that class and I cannot risk falling over again and breaking a wrist again lol. In a ideal perfect world I would like to do each week body balance, boxing, pump (and maybe yoga)...attack i am not fit enough for, i discussed combat above and I simply dont really find RPM challenging...thats mostly my own doing cos i dont push myself....and while i like the cycling where u stand up and cycle...i think thats the hills....where you sit with a lot of resistance...i HATE lol ;) I could also go to body jam altho not my class of choice

So going by that....over the next 2 weeks (since my days off at work are about to change at least for 3 weeks)

I could make body balance monday arvo and saturday morning
boxing I could make friday night (i think...dependant on traffic etc)
pump i could make tuesday, thursday (again dependant on traffic), friday night and saturday morning
yoga i could make wednesday nights
thursday nights i could make body jam

So because I do feel I accomplish more in classes even tho i feel so out of place in them but I may just have to suck it up and get over that LOL

monday : body balance
tuesday : pump
thursday: pump + body jam
friday:boxing + pump
saturday: pump + body balance

Now when i look at that....attending pump and balance to me isnt a issue cos i kinda know what I am doingin those classes. Even yoga i think i could cope with. Boxing...well...UGH....haha...I just dont feel i would keep up...and i hate for one doing partner work cos im usually partner less LOL and also i hate when there will be a exercise which will be like....we will do this till everyone is finished...and everyone else is not happy cos they are holding a plank or wall squat for what feels like a eternity cos i am super slow :( I also dont know about body jam, feel like a dork and always the possibility i would if i cut those ones out my week would look like this:

monday : body balance + PT
tuesday : PT + body pump
wednesday : Yoga + some cardio
thursday : pump 
friday : pump
saturday : body pump + balance

So if u look at that...I am still missing cardio workouts (apart from PT) lol, I also could do functional fit....I think theres a thursday night session I could attend. UGH. I hate that I started falling in combat...cos i could add that to mondays and saturdays...and I hate that i fell of the treadmill cos its ridiculous how scared of that thing i am (plus i am not sure they are really built for running even in spurts for someone my size) If I had my way in all honesty I would do a 3rd PT session (I did 3 a week when I trained with Fiona) but my trainer doesnt actually have that kind of availability. If I am going to do that much pump....and I know I have been told before 3-4 pump sessions a week will get body change...i really need to get some cardio in.

I am going walking sunday this week as well...but thats not intense cardio or anything...thats enjoyable....relaxing even.

But tomorrow is a new week...hopefully the scales dont keep going up...and soon will start going down! lol :)

Thursday, June 18, 2015

The good ole mindset!

So second post for the day LOL.

I am finding now more so then ever I am really needing to work on my mindset. As I have said I start 12WBT on monday....monday morning i weighed in at 120.6.....wednesday morning i weighed in at 118.9 - awesome eh? This morning i was 119.2...I have been daily weighing myself for so long...that I can weigh myself in the evening and generally know what I will weigh the next morning (not sure if this is a good or bad thing...prolly bad!) sooooooooo I know tomorrow morning I am expecting to weigh around 119.8-119.9 so i fully expect the scales to go up again....have I done anything wrong? No I dont think so. I drank 3 litres of water today. I went out for lunch but I thought I did amazingly well with what i chose to ate. While most people I was with were eating ribs, schnitzel, pasta or pizza i went for a lemon pepper barramundi with a cream garlic sauce and rice. It was a very thin fillet of fish i doubt it weighed more then 120 grams. It wasnt oily. The sauce came in a lil dish on the side....and i dont like sauces so i didnt dip my fish into it...i simply squeezed some lemon juice on it. I did think it was salty when I was eating it but then thought no its the pepper cos it was lemon pepper its possible it was a salty meal altho not sure (and am possibly grasping at straws) also came with some baby spinach which I ate and some white rice....i put in my tracker a cup of white rice but think it was more like 2/3 cup of rice at most. I then went to the gym and did body pump.

I am in a few minds about things. Firstly as someone said to me today "the weight should be dropping of you" and it should be....even if that fish was salt intake this week has been down to like 1000 milligrams i still had plenty of room to move with that if it was salty (i try not to exceed about 1800 milligrams)

The first thing is, I think I am going to need to go to the doctors and get blood tests done. Truth of the matter I am overdue some. I was suppose to have some done in April to follow up on my liver since it was so bad when I was in hospital....but im sure since i am eating so well now that has drastically improved...and its time consuming....basically 3 i have been putting it off....but i think i may need to go get that done. To be honest, and prolly part of my lack in doing this lol is I have been down this road before and gone off to get tested....and apart from the low iron stores and the fatty liver I am always ok.

The second thing I wonder is....okay....maybe 1200 will not work out....I need to give it longer but it certainly doesnt seem to be working thus far. So there are 3 things I think are worth considering....calorie cycling, carb cycling or intermittent fasting.

My preference of course would be calorie cycling...and really its the only real thing I did before I havent implemented yet. The thing with that would be tho I would need to prolly set my calories at 1400 calories so I could make my low calorie days 1200. Carb cycling and intermittent fasting are THOUGHTS but they are things i would try if i get desperate...i think both i made find hard to do....but....I know they both have had success so if it comes to it i may have to try.

The other thing i keep thinking is maybe....and this is a huge statement to make....but maybe i should try a few weeks of no weighing. I think I would need to try it for a couple of weeks....cos i know if i do this....the few days before i would weigh i would if i tried it for a week i would only be stress free a few days before i would be stressing again. The reason I am wondering about this is it would just put the focus elsewhere. I have been thinking quite a bit about it today....and yes....I would like to be losing in the half a kilo to kilo range. But regardless I am STILL losing...its not that what I have been doing isnt has been....its just that its been at a very slow pace. Regardless of anything where I am at now and the progress I am making is better then anything from the previous 2 years or so....the other thing is my body is definitely changing....even if the scales arent reflecting it. I know I had times like this with my weight loss when I lost the weight maybe its just me its the way I work. But by not weighing (and when I say this....I would still weigh in at food coaching i just wouldnt look at the scales or find out the result....and as long as there is no significant gains then i could do that) thats my biggest not weighing daily....things will get out of control....that I will get to the end of the week....and gain. I feel this might also allow me to focus more on the process then the just go to the gym and do the classes and just focus more on i guess physical abilities if that makes sense....focus more on wow i did 2 classes in a row....or wow i increased my weights in pump....or i improved on a certain exercise (altho in all the years at the gym i dont tend to improve on exercises cardiovascular improves and i can do more weights....but things like pushups...burpees...running etc doesnt improve lol) but I guess this would allow me to take a more holistic approach.

Regardless I am still losing....and even if i did only lose 300 grams a week....that would still have me down 15 kilos by this time next year which while yes its slow it would still be progress.

So I am not sure of any of these things apart from if I have no loss this week,,,,,maybe i should give calorie cycling a go for a week.....but i do need to give this a full week at least before jumping to any conclusions.

End of ramble ;)

Day 4 of 12WBT

So I am on day 4 of 12wbt :) All going pretty good so far. The last 3 days I stuck to 1200-1250 calories. I have done my workouts each day. And the scales had dropped 1.7 kilos yesterday since Monday morning. Sadly they were up 300 grams this morning...not the end of the world just have to continue to be consistent.

Today tho is turning out challenging! I wake at 5.30am and normally have lunch at 11.30am...but today I have a work lunch on which isnt till 2pm :( I thought id be okay...but lunch time came and I was starving....and I hadnt bought anything just in ended up having a cheese slice of cheese only (the people at the cafeteria told me that it was the saddest sandwich they had ever seen LOL) So that is about a extra 230 calories...I have allowed 600 calories for lunch (will have pasta or fish dependant on whats on offer) so my cals by the end of the day will be about 1450. I am not gonna stress over it...never know maybe my body will like the change.

Also discussed in food coaching about my exercise last night and trying to do more classes. Now i did do classes a lot last time i lost the weight so need to get back into them...initially i will focus on pump, balance and RPM. So tonight I will do a 45 minute RPM class and hopefully I make it to the gym in time to do the body pump class.

Not much else going on...have a good day all :)

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

And I joined 12WBT

...oh yes I did!

And even tho I have joined once or twice in the past....I am committed this time. I am going to do all the tasks set out. I have done all the preseason tasks including fitness test, photo and measurements (I never even did that in past attempts) wise I am sticking to 1200 calories and aiming for "if it didnt have a mother or grow out of the ground its not on plan". Yesterday being day 1 i survived better then expected. I am making a point to eat more fruit then normal (yesterday was raspberries and 1.5 bananas) today i have strawberries, banana and some watermelon :)

Last night I did the first 12wbt was not too hard....altho by the time I had sweated more then expected. It took about 45 minutes and burnt 463 calories and THEN i had a PT session LOL...which seriously killed me (lets climb up 7 flights of stairs and do a lil circuit of 3-4 exercises at each level lol). Tonight I will do another 12wbt workout...its mostly exercises I like doing (wow did I really say that???) so I am actually looking forward to it...and then of course PT as well :)

Last wednesday when i weighed in i was 119.2 kilos and then yesterday 120.6 kilos (eek!) but this morning I dropped down to 119.3 still a chance of a loss this week! Tomorrows weigh in will be very interesting.

My goal over the 12 weeks of the challenge is 10 kilos...I think that is doable...hopefully this first week I will have a significant loss and then consistency over the next 9 weeks will have me hitting that mark (that would put me around 110 kilos). It should also mean by the time I fly to sydney i would hopefully be down to about 112-113 kilos....last time I flew I was 117 kilos and i was fine with the seat and seatbelt etc....but it will be nicer to be lower!

Okay time to start my workday :)

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Okay that was a lil ambitious....

That was a very ambitious diet plan I listed yesterday wasnt it? lol. I think I was having a bad....with the scales having gone up (and again up a lil bit,,,,up 700 grams) but today something happened....I had a shower and was getting dressed, had on my jeans and was about to put a top on and I caught a glimpse of my waist in the mirror. Being the size i am currently I am not wearing fitted clothes yet....a lot of clothes that basically hide my waist....anyway I was kinda waist is starting to look smaller. I was surprised. Of course that makes my hips look even bigger LOL but my waist definitely looks smaller. I have no idea how it compares to two weeks ago's measurements...maybe it was this small 2 weeks ago and I had never noticed...but I was impressed.

Even when you lose centimetres it is very hard to correlate in my mind that I have lost when there has been minimal loss on the scales. I do feel I am doing the right things (altho the exercise still needs to be a big focus!) and I certainly want to improve my eating (ie the oven fries....they are not coming back in the house at least for a while), but,,,,,I dont think I am ready to give up quest bars just yet LOL

I weigh in on wednesday and it is not looking like a loss for me...which is disappointing me I need to continue to just trust the process and do my best. I think as of this wednesday my calories will be lowered to 1500 calories. I also have a few eating out I think I will suggest to Lauren I calorie cycle this week so thursday and saturday I have more calories....eating lower calories during the week when I am busy with work is not so hard....and i think it prolly is time to test out the calorie cycling...i truly believe 1400-1500 cals is prolly around where I need to sit....and fingers crossed this will get the losses going LOL. I know there will be a point i need to cut back to 1200 calories but I would like to put that off as long as possible....but of point eating more then that if I am not going to get its still a process of working out where I should be.

Exercise wise...hopefully make it in time for body balance tomorrow night and then a PT session.

Enjoy your week all :)

After writing this I made a decision .... I will detail more later once I have spoken in more detail with my food coach....but hell yeah to getting this weight moving ;)

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Its time....

As most know a couple of years ago 2011/2012 I was pretty damn close to fact was only 3 kilos from it! Then I started to struggle...I couldnt lose the last bit of weight...I was doing huge amounts of exercise and only eating 1200-1300 calories. And then one day....I remember it so clearly....I was in Rundle Mall on the way to the gym on a saturday morning. Someone messaged me and said..."you should be eating more now you are close to goal, I would have thought you knew that" and then gave me a link to a post on myfitnesspal....which advocated eating more...doing heavy weight work. Prior to this I had a very set plan in my head. I calorie cycled and followed what Jillian outlays in her book "Master your metabolism". I ate very clean and aimed for organic food when I could, I cut out MOST of my artificial sweeteners (only had them in my diet cokes, mayonnaise and sour cream) everything else apart from milk I ate the full fat versions of. I ate very simply and to be honest ate the same foods most days LOL. Anyway MFP forums as i have said before were detriment to me....theres a lot of "it doesnt matter what you eat as long as you are in a calorie deficit"

Now...I KNOW im in a calorie deficit at the moment...there is no reason why i shouldnt be losing....but again since weigh in day the weight has gone up (by 400 grams as of this morning) it reminds me of back in 2009 how I plateaud out for 7 months! Then over xmas I read Jillians book, threw out my microwave (and my friends still give me chit over that to this very day) and I calorie cycled. Come 2010 from week 1....i was just a weight loss machine....i think i lost something like 12 kilos in the first 10 weeks and in just over a year I lost 50 kilos.

Now since I got back on track this time I have not been eating completely clean. Ive been having oven fries, diet coke (just like last time I dont plan at this stage to give up the diet coke), chocolate (and not 70% cocoa dark chocolate), cheese, processed chicken kiev, quest bars (while nothing is listed bad on quest bar packets...there is a lot of talk on the internet that their nutritional panel is not 100% accurate and whilst I dont necessarily believe makes me sceptic), bbq shapes (admittedly only 25 grams at a time...but still!)

So I have been going back thru Jillians book today....and there was a motto i followed back then...i need to follow again "if it didnt have a mother or grow in the ground....dont eat it" So I want to for the next 10 days follow a very basic menu which will be:

breakfast : 40 grams of oats and 30 grams protein powder and 50 grams of berries
snack : 10 grams peanut butter and a banana
lunch : sandwich with burgen bread and 50 grams of turkey and a tablespoon of mayonnaise
snack :170 grams yoghurt with 5 grams shredded organic coconut
dinner : 150 grams roasted chicken with salad (mixed lettuce, roasted capsicum, some kaleslaw,
snack : 30 grams protein powder

That would put my calories at approximately 1320 calories and my sodium at 1423 mg. I believe we are lowering my cals to 1500 this I could bump up the calories to hit the current 1650 or 1500 as of wednesday with some raw cashews and/or mandarin.

I do believe based on past experience my cals need to be down to 1500. Now i am not saying i eat exactly like this long term but i want to give it 10 days or so to see if it creates a difference.

The other thing is.....da da duh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, exercise. I have this very bad habit of if the scales go up I avoid the gym cos i think to myself....oh maybe its gone up from fluid retention from resistance work...ill give it a day or two to go down....which ultimately does me no favours and kinda highlights to me that i am way too focused on the scales.

I often remember how when I was stuck in  plateau for 7 months in 2009 and how at the time i felt like a piece of the puzzle was missing....that i decided this was going to become "my hobby" and so when something is a hobby not only do u like to watch videos, read books, blogs etc on it...but you like to DO it....and so the exercise has to become a bigger priority.

The more I do it....the easier it will become. So I believe the gym is open tomorrow...i intend to go in....i will work out a lil workout shortly for tomorrow. Then this week my aim will be :

monday : body balance plus PT plus 10km bike ride
tuesday : 30 minutes of my own workout (upper body) plus PT and body pump or 10km cycle
wednesday : my own workout (legs)
thursday : pump (or my own all over workout if i dont make it on time) and then i will decide if i have the guts to do a functional fit session lol or RPM
friday : 30 minute upper workout plus body pump and 10km cycle
saturday : 60 minute walk in the morning

I know its a lot of exercise...but its all completely doable...I use to many excuses....with the amount of exercise I did when on holidays I have proven to do more then I like to believe (thats the lazy girl in me)....I am single...while I know recovery is very important..doing a fast quick gym session just to come home and sit in front of the tv isnt getting me to goal...i know from experience that for me...i am the type that does need to do a fair bit of exercise....not saying that will make the scales move faster....but hopefully affect body change....and get my focus off the scales.

Some people may think this is all excessive....but the food....I just need to cut out the crap and get back to bare bone basics to help workout if its the food or my calorie budget thats preventing the losses...and exercise wise....well its just time to get off my ass in relation to that LOL.

Have a good saturday night all :)

Thursday, June 11, 2015

The pushup goal....still.....

I didnt go to the gym tonight...I should have.

I knew I couldnt make the body pump class so I thought nope not reality tho I shoulda gone and done my own workout.

When I first joined the gym all those flipping years of my goals (apart from the running goal...blah,blah) was to be able to do low pushups on my toes. I have always known obviously you need strong chest muscles, and I have always guessed strong biceps/shoulders....I didnt realise triceps play a important role in that exercise (altho why I didnt when you think about the movement is beyond me!)

I am quite pathetically weak when it comes to my triceps. Its one of the tracks in body pump where I am always scrambling for the lightest weights, altho overhead tricep extensions I am okay at....I can do those with 7 kilo dumbbells....prolly even higher....but other exercises...kick backs...skullcrushers....tricep dips i am kinda pathetic at! So i really want to several times a week incorporate barbell and dumb bell bench press, chest press machine....but also tricep exercises especially tricep be honest I dont know too many tricep exercises...tricep pushups, skull crushers, dips, kickbacks...I really need to try and focus on doing them several times a week so maybe one day I can do a half decent pushup (trust me when on my toes my arms barely bend! lol)

In another 4 weeks my work roster is changing....I will have sundays and mondays off and will be finishing at 4pm which is a fraction later then currently but will prolly workout better. Since my alarm currently goes off at 5.30am i have a lil rule that I need to be out of the gym by 6.30pm at the my alarm wont need to go off till 6.30am (yay) so i can stay at the gym till as late as 7.30pm. As I will have mondays off...I will try and do PT before the lunch time classes on my aim will be to do PT....body pump then body balance....which is very similar to the routine I use to do on saturday mornings with Fiona a trillion years ago lol, and will give me a day with a pretty high calorie burn. Ill then go to the gym after work tuesday to friday nights...I will prolly try to fit in some 5.30pm while I cannot guarantee i will always finish at 4pm (can be as late as 5pm) it is looking like i will prolly be on 4pm finishes which should work just dandy!

Not much else going on....altho I will have a few challenging moments next week! Thursday lunch going to the mawson lakes hotel for dinner....and as I am so fussy...there is a limited number of options for me...saturday night I have a friends birthday and we are going out to a pub near her place....hopefully they have a good option for me....I am still hoping my the 20th i am under 118 kilos....altho haha in all honesty not looking overly promising..but my cals will be lowered again next week which will hopefully lead to more consistent losses. :)

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Weigh in results

So the scales finally moved! YAY! I was done 2 kilos this damn happy with that.

And yanno without sounding like a big head I totally deserved that loss! Even tho with that fluid gain it was hard and i wanted to throw a rock thru a window lol....i knew my eating and working out didnt deserve a gain....I knew physically it was impossible to gain on what I had been eating. But knew I just had to stay the course and the results would eventually reflect on the scales - and they did. So as of this morning I was 119.2 kilos and on the scales at food coaching I was 119.8 definitely in the "teens"

I have been lately sneaking off into the boxing room at the gym and doing my workouts. I much prefer it....usually there is never anyone else in there....and it has quite a bit of a equipment in I can do a mix of stuff....tonight i went in there did some boxing, then did 12 reps of dead lifts (20 kilos), 3 sets of 12 bench press (first set 10 kilos, set 2 & 3 15 kilos), 12 reps of bicep curls (10 kilos), tricep extensions (7 kilos), 12 steps on each leg with 7 kilo weight in each hand, 12 pushups, 25 medicine ball throw downs and then a lil agility work....I then went on the cycle and cross trainer for a lil bit. I burnt 737 calories in 71 minutes - so that is a really good workout - very happy with that! You will notice none of my weights in the strength work is very high....the reason for that is I am more focused on cardio then strength work while I include it (and I must admit deadlifts and bench press are favourites so will prolly always feature in my workouts i create) my aim is more to lift heavy where I feel the pressure but to keep going and try to keep the heart rate this stage "heavy lifting" isnt on my agenda....maybe when at goal.

Today was my first day back at work after my very long weekend and already I am dying for the weekend! haha. What a lazy lush I am! ;)

Possibly going to get my hair cut and coloured this weekend....I want to get it done but unsure what to get done so am not rushing into it (i desperately need it tho!)

Tomorrow night will hopefully make it in time for body pump and then a 10km bike ride


Sunday, June 07, 2015


Last night I went out for dinner. We were going to end up in Nth Adelaide but couldnt find a park so came back to my place and went to a lil italian place at the top of my street lol. Ive had their food before but never ate in the restuarant. Its a lil family business and admittedly I went over my calories by about 300-400 calories :( But I didnt eat anything bad...Me and my friend shared a bruschetta, then I had a raviolli with amatriciana (a tomato based sauce with bacon and chilli) and then we went for a coffee (I dont drink coffee) so had a skim hot chocolate.

Then when I got home my cycle had arrived...thank gawd! Hopefully over the next few days Ill lose some of this fluid. While my calories are suppose to be under 1650 calories...Im not gonna beat myself up over 400 calories. I have no social plans next weekend so no reason not to stick to my 1650 calories.

While at dinner I was talking to Martine...and I realised....that prolly while my exercise has increased a lil...I prolly am not working out (apart from PT sessions) at the right intensity. Yanno sitting on the bike isnt exactly intensive LOL...not to say there isnt a place for steady state cardio...just not for the majority of my exercise.

When I was this weight last time....I lot of "fill in cardio" i did...cardio between classes, before PT etc....was jogging 1 minute intervals on the treadmill....but after falling last year i dont even like walking on the treadmill these days lol. I use to do combat a lot...but after falling in that class 5-6 times and the last time breaking my wrist i totally cannot do that class...i need to work out a exercise routine...that works...and will give me the losses....

My exercise program before looked like this (when i was this weight)

monday : combat or boxing plus PT
tuesday : 40 minutes cardio
wednesday : 45 mins boxing plus 45 mins studio cycle
thursday : 45 mins body pump plus PT
friday : 60 mins body pump
saturday : PT plus 30 mins cardio plus 60 mins pump plus 60 mins body balance
sunday : 60 minute walk

So in summary :

4 hours cardio at gym
1 hour walking
3 pump classes
1 body balance class
3 PT sessions

I can certainly do 2-3 pump classes a week, the body balance class I can manage, I am doing 2 PT sessions...and 1 hour of walking is do-able. What I need to work on is the 4 hours of cardio. I need to get a better workout routine...the problem is at the moment i walk into the gym and i dont go in there with "intent"....i do have a membership to Jillians site and it does give daily workouts on the app so maybe ill start to do that...dunno...I just want to work it out....and I want it to be something thats progressive...yanno that i can improve not something where its just doing some cardio for the sake of cardio if that makes sense....

So i need to give this a lot more thought...not sure what I will do yet.....but need to work this out!

Saturday, June 06, 2015

Saturday June 6th

So the scales did a teensy tiny drop on the scales overnight after jumping up another 500 grams yesterday. Was I concerned by that gain? Maybe slightly....but the logical side of me kicked clothes did not feel any tighter in fact if anything my jeans felt a lil looser....when i jumped on the scales my body fat was the lowest i had seen it on my scales .... plus I knew I had not eaten over my fact I had lowered them!

I realise times like this is about being consistent cos the losses have to come sooner or later. I still do think the gain is prolly fluid related to my cycle...the odd thing is that my cycle still hasnt made a appearance...oh well...nothing to do but wait it out and stay on track.

Last night i went into the gym after work and did a 60 minute body pump class. When I started going back to classes 5-6 weeks ago...first class i did (and in fact only class i have done so far lol) was body pump...and in that first class while doing the squat track i felt a twinge in my back...same spot i hurt it last ive been careful with my squats since.....being really conscious of my form and not going to deep....happily last night i went to normal depth on my squats and my back was perfectly fine.

After the gym I went and purchase a fitbit charge HR which i am super happy with...looking forward to testing it next week.

Not a heck of a lot else going on....going out for dinner tonight...I picked the restuarant....and it has a steamed barramundi dish so thats what I will be having :)

Thursday, June 04, 2015

Most challenging week so far

The title says it....mentally this was a hard week.

Thats due to a few things....getting sick from jumping my protein up high too quickly...then calorie cycling but realising right at the moment that 1200 calorie days are hard to implement (which I always put in my calorie cycles at least for one day)....then the scales for some bizarre reason jumped up 1.4 kilos on monday. Then tuesday some crap happened outside of my weight loss/gym etc....which made me wanna throw a tantrum and not play anymore lol

It was a bit of a struggle going to PT tuesday night....I really just wanted to go home and have some quiet time to process the gain and work it out in my head. Instead I went to the gym, I had about 45 minutes before PT and so went into the boxing room which was thankfully empty and hit the bag a lot ;) and then did some deadlifts (prolly my favourite weight exercise), some dumbbell shoulder presses and some bent over rows. (I really think I should do more barbell work when on my own - deadlifts, bench press, bicep curls, shoulder presses - notice no squat and lunges? lol I am not a fan of leg exercises lol) Then I did PT which funnily enough turned out to be boxing too LOL.

Anyway so I ended up giving it quite a lot of thought and discussed it a bit with Lauren (my food coach) and for the next two weeks my calories have been lowered to 1650 calories. Talking to Lauren last me thinking about a few the beginning i had a lil gain thanks to bacon and sodium and Lauren commented last night how I am prolly "sodium sensitive" which I think is prolly correct. We also talked about my fat content specifically for my peanut when I lost the weight before I never are peanut butter till i was prolly under 90 kilos....I rarely ate avocado....rarely ate cheese (apart from feta on salads or over vegies) I also rarely ate grains at night (maybe once a week?) and I tried to eat organic wherever possible. I dont really eat like that these days cos I have been trying to "enjoy my weight loss" but yanno I am back into the swing of things....this week I will try and avoid processed foods (not that I eat a lot...but oven fries, processed chicken etc) and I will also not have cheese (apart from feta). The benefit of cutting out cheese is two the more i think about it i did eat "low fat" when i lost my weight i dont mean i ate a pile of low fat products like low fat ice cream etc....just i didnt eat a lot of foods that were high in fat...I didnt eat a lot of avocado (in fact i only discoverred avocado when close to goal!), didnt eat a lot of cheese, olive oil. pb, nut butters etc etc Now thats not to say they are "bad foods" - they aren't. But each of our bodies reach differently to different macro and micronutrients and I am starting to wonder if for weight loss if mine responds better to the lower fat content. The other thing...and this relates specifically to cheese...has nothing to do with avocado, olive oil etc....cheese is pretty high in sodium. Like I can have a 20 gram bega cheese stringer stick...its like a lousy 59 calories and got like 5.5 grams of if you look at those details thats pretty good....but it is 140 milligrams of sodium. Now in a perfect world i like to keep my sodium about 1400-1800. I prefer not to have real fluctuations in that figure super high or super low....cos if you go super low it can appear you have lost more then you really have (fluid loss) but anyway....140 milligrams of 59 me is not a good ratio. So thats the other reason in relation to the cheese.

Today I changed my diet a lil....really the only processed food i had all day was a quest bar (and im not giving those suckers up at this point!) I ate well...prolly my biggest struggle food wise is my afternoon snack....before i would eat like cheese sticks....or a banana with i had two dates (nom nom nom) and 20 grams of like to eat something i look forward too...walnuts in all honesty while i can shove them down my gob i dont love. Funny story, we had a walnut tree when i was a kid...i use to crack those suckers open on the pavement and just eat them lol....maybe i ate them too much...cos now they seem incredibly dry to me LOL.

Anyway, so this week was challenging. I watched a video over the weekend (i think) on you tube...cos im like addicted to the fitness channels over there! But anyway one of the girls i watch is in preparation for a bikini anyway....she has been cutting and her weight loss not moving....and she commented that its times like these were you really are at a fork in the either stick to your plan....or you choose to throw it away and go off track....I am really glad and proud i stuck to the plan...consistency is key. I remember when i lost my weight before and sometimes i would have these moments where i would have unexplained gains or no movement on the scales....and sometimes would go eat bad....and the reason (well my thinking) at least then I could in my head explain the gain....and sometimes for me thats the hard part....I know fluctuations happen....but big fluctuations i need a explaination for (even if i wont always get one!) The odd thing too is....I had the gain....the following day I stayed the same and this morning i was down 100 i know the logic behind it gain 1.2 kilos of FAT i theoretically needed to it 7000 calories over my maintenance level....well i can assure you this gal did not do that! It cannot stay at this current level or keep gaining for no apparant reason...what goes up....must come down...eventually lol ;)

Tuesday, June 02, 2015

So today was a shit day!

So I woke this morning...stepped on the yesterday morning i was 119.8 kilos...this morning 121.2 kilos....i nearly keeled over and had a heart attack!

I can honestly say my eating has been good. Tomorrow it is 4 weeks since my last cycle so half expecting that to make a appearance tomorrow. It is weigh in day tomorrow....and it looks like I will have my first gain :( Oh well...yanno what.....I cannot change that result....and I cannot force my body to lose weight if its holding on to it...or retaining is what it is....the only thing I can do is ensure my plan will get me results and stay consistent.

So it played on my mind all day. I have honestly thought for a week or two i need to be on lower calories....i feel i need to be on about 1600-1650 calories. I also think I need to up the ante with my exercise. When i lost my weight before I was only eating 1520 calories when at this weight and I was burning a absolute minimum of 3100 calories a week. I would burn over 1000 calories on saturdays and 3-4 times a week burn at least 600-700 calories. So I think the exercise as well needs to increase.

Tonight I went into the gym...had like 45 minutes before PT. I went on the treadmill for 5 minutes and thought blah! So i went into the boxing room and no one was in i pulled out some boxing gloves and did:

100 right jabs
100 left jabs
100 right hooks
100 left hooks
100 right upper cuts
100 left upper cuts
12 deadlifts with 15 kilos
12 bent over rows with 15 kilos
100 cross jabs
100 hooks
100 uppercuts
12 shoulder presses with 6 kilos

haha! I burnt like 350 calories for doing that lot. Funnily enough Stacey then comes and gets me for PT and says...we are doing boxing LOL. So it was definitely a cardio day and a upper body day! I really like going somewhere by myself and doing stuff (i am such a antisocial so and so) I am pretty sure that room is empty tomorrow before my food coaching session I think I will do a lil legs workout in there...

Walk up 7 flights of stairs
21 weighted squats 20 kilos
21 squat jumps
21 step ups with 8 kilos
21 jumps with skipping rope
21 round house on each leg

Then 18, then 15, then 12....

Then walk up another 7 flights of stairs.

I am going to start being a lot more purposeful about my visits to the gym...not just sit there cycling in a mind numbing way on a bike!

Thats it for today...lets hope tomorrow is a better day!

Non-negotiables & priorities

My latest vlog. This one is me talking about non-negotiables/priorities. Don't forget to like and subscribe :) If you have any questions or suggestions for topics for vlogs leave me a comment here or on my you tube page or send me a private message on my facebook page :)