Monday, November 28, 2011

Kelp noodles, sore back and the scales!!!

Ive had a really sore back the last few days....its been tender for a month or so but today its been soooooooo painful....3 doses of painkillers did nothing for it. But Fiona recommended i massage it with a tennis seems better altho far from perfect. So ill be taking the tennis ball to work with me tomorrow! So I skipped the gym. Hopefully it keeps improving...i keep massaging hopefully soon enough it will be back to 100%....just one injury/pain after another lately....pain in the flippin ass...and really makes me worry that what i am doing is right.

When i woke up this morning the scales had dropped to 83.3 so a drop of 500 grams overnight which was pretty damn awesome. Still aiming for under 83 kilos on sunday...should certainly be doable.

Tomorrow night i have bootcamp im making a point to not think about it too much...just gonna get out there and do it :) Hopefully i dont hate it as much as last thursday nite lol.

I really do like the photos in the previous post....not so wrapped with my stomach....but i like how i "look" especially in the face and my me i just look happy and healthy....and in my eyes thats pretty attractive. (Yes i really did say that - things and my perception of me REALLY are changing!) Its a nice feeling to look at a photo and not go "omg gross" and instead go "chit i really like me in this photo" its a very very nice feeling!!!

I cooked with kelp noodles last nite...Fiona bought a batch and i bought half of her....they are pretty expensive but high in iodine which is something i need!! For 340 grams they are a whole 18 calories and 3 grams of omg!! so going to try and make a bolognaise sauce and have the kelp noodles with them, i never have pasta at home anymore....but if this works out it will be nice to have a low carb "pasta" meal hehe :)

Pics, Pics and more Pics ;)

Just a few pics ;)

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Thinking....BUT good thinking for once lol ;)

Well i feel much better today - not so tired!! LOL Finally took a good luck at the hair colour they put in on friday....and do LOVE it :) I will definitely be going back to that hairdresser (and the bonus is they are located only 2 doors up from my house lol)

Last week was really quite disastrous....classes with trainers where i didnt really feel i got a lot out of the brain overthinking but now looking back....i think i needed this week to realise a few things. The first thing is there is like 5 weeks or so of the year left....and my goal is to see the year in weighing in the 70's. This morning the scales were up to 83.8 kilos (more sodium gain from friday) so i basically need to lose 3.9 kilos....which i can lose if i apply myself. I am spending xmas at home now (i have 24th-27th off but as work left it so late to confirm my leave to fly to streaky and back would cost $500 eeek...i could travel over with mum and her hubby and catch a bus back....but thats travelling for 2 days of a 4 day weekend which doesnt entice me at all....and of course im concerned about being under the same roof as my mums hubby for 2 nights....i think id end up pissed off more then i would be having a good time lol) so xmas at home...which is me its just another day....ill cook a turkey roll here and some salad...and in reality it will help ensure i meet my goals. Im thinking as a treat for me....i will tho buy a ticket to see chorus line for NYE (it opens new years eve at festival theatre) i use to go to musicals and live theatre A name a lot of musicals and i have prolly seen it LOL even flew over to Sydney to see 42nd street one time ;) so even tho it will mean going to see them by myself im going to start going to shows again (i use to go often by myself) but of course the seats became a issue. And because catching a taxi would be a freaking pain in the ass on NYE i will book in to a hotel for the nite.... has lots of good deals...prolly wont book it till closer to the date but thats what im thinking....if something happens and i dont go see a chorus line on NYE i will definitely go see it while its here...but NYE sounds good to me!!

I saw a advertisement in fernwoods current magazine yesterday for next years "foxy challenge" i did it last year...and at the time it was was a PT session per week and a slim session....there was a weekly challenge which i would do with Fiona which also had a guage for where your fitness level was at for your age group. I found the challenge really good at the wasnt too much different to what i was already doing but it enabled me to get a perspective on where my fitness level was at. But talking to Fiona and Tracey (my pump/boxing/cycle instructor lol) has got me thinking....they both said something to me but expressed it in different ways....Fiona said....things like bootcamp....which take me out of my comfort zoneis important for me to "grow" .... and Tracey said "this is exactly what you need at this stage of your journey"....those two comments together have made me realise i need to move past things like "foxy challenges" things where its just a PT session and me being a challenge....i need to actually really challenge myself with things that seem really scary. There would be no harm in doing the foxy challenge again for example...and yep it would mean i would be doing PT once a week....but would i gain anything else from it? Prolly not. Its the things like bootcamp i need to do....maybe doing the running club if they do that again next year (now that would SERIOUSLY be putting me out of my comfort zone....but the bonus would be that Tracey has previously run that and she touches base with me a bit and checks up on me so ive built a lil bit of a relationship with i think doing something completely out of my comfort zone but with a trainer who knows a lil bit about me and who i trust would hopefully give me the confidence to stick at something like that) So next year REALLY needs to be a year of stepping out of my comfort zone (and getting to goal!)

I bought a gym ball (fit ball) yesterday...all blown up now....nice to have one here that I can practice on in the privacy of my house....i use to use it a lot when i did PT with Fiona but i kinda sucked at it....but having it here at home where i can fall off it and the only thing i hurt is my pride is rather good ! I even saw a foam roller looks like the ridgy didge thing....was $90 so might even buy one of them so i could do more stretching at home.

Exercise wise my plan for this week is:

mon - 3 x boxing classes (geesh that will kill me!) or abs class and body combat (gonna ring the gym tomorrow to check whose taking boxing and if its not Tracey then will do the abs and combat
tues - bootcamp
wednesday - cycle class
thursday - boot camp
friday - body pump
saturday - body balance + my own stuff

I need to do a few runs as well. Prolly early in the week as i know thursdays bootcamp will be sprints. So 5 weeks till new years i need to average a loss of 800 grams per week. So the aim is to get under 83 kilos by saturday which considering i know most of my current gain is from sodium that should be easy to do!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Xmas Party and Pics :)

Well yesterday was the day of the xmas show! Big day :) Started early with a eyebrow wax and then shopping for shoes and a handbag. I then went to diva and bought a ring....i havent worn a ring since i gave Ang her ring back all those years ago...the one i bought was a size small and was too big ;) hehe but i must admit its got me contemplating buying myself a ring. Im not a jewellery person as such and one of the reasons im tempted to not get one is cos i am worried i would catch it on something at the gym....but i definitely felt very feminine wearing it. I then went and did pump. Put 7.5 kilos on each end of the bar during the squat track -rawr- the instructor says do 2-3 times your warm up weight for the squat track. I do 5 kilos for the warm up not too far off doing two times the warm up track. I also did a couple of 100 metres sprints on the treadmill at a speed of 10. Woke up today with VERY sore thighs. Anyway....after pump my instructor had a lil chat to me about doing bootcamp....there really is no getting out of this bootcamp... altho Fiona keeps telling me this is going to be good for me not only exercise wise but also "personal growth" so im going to stick at it :) And i am even going to try telling myself i dont hate it! LOL Must admit its very nice knowing the gym is so supportive of me :)

Anyways then i went home....and headed off to the hairdressers, had a dark brown put in my hair, trimmed and curled with the straightener. It seriously looked SO good! I loved it :) I then got dressed....scooted out the house and into the casino to meet Jaimee for a drink before heading to the party. The party was lots of fun!! But i was tired :( I had 2.5 glasses of champagne...and ate lots of crappy food! LOL They did have the best cupcakes and i had two....and i had lots of spring rolls, pork balls, chicken and corn muffins and lots of other finger food. I did feel really good last nite...I knew i looked pretty good (as long as you didnt look at the side view....i looked big then) but i did have lots tell me i looked good and i felt good myself....nice to not feel like the ugly beast i always viewed myself as (no i dont view myself like that these days) Anyway i was home by a lil after 11pm. A good nite but i was more then happy to crawl into bed too! I have added some pics at the bottom of this post :)

Woke up very tired today not surprisingly lol. Walked out into the living room to see my heels from last nite sitting in my gym bag LOL. Went and did body balance. My thighs were very sore and you are actually in the "squat" position a lot in body balance so they ached....then i did some of my own stuff....dragged my ass thru 2 hours of the gym. Then i went to rebel sport to buy a gym one :) (Might have to ask Fiona to write me a bit of a program for stuff to do at home with it...we were using them a lot when I was doing PT with her and my balance sucks so its certainly something i could work on) anyway while there i went and checked out there clearance rack of clothes (cos im a cheapsake!) anyway they had a pink running bare t shirt...i picked it up...was a size 10 so nearly put it back then thought oh ill try it on....and TA-DA it fits! Its even got room around the waist area....they are actually a good fit for me....usually when something fits me around the hips it is huge on my top half....but this fits me quite nicely....will post a pic below.

I look at all these pics from last nite...and its amazing to think thats me...and im not talking about the physical aspect so much....i can look at the pics and see that im truly happy in them...whilst i realise i did the work to get to where i am....i am really REALLY appreciative and thankful that i managed to build such a good support network around myself and go on this journey....and its far from over....and im not even talking about the number on the scales...this journey doesnt truly ever end...but i cant wait till i get to that point where im happy with this number of the scales and my body....and im 110% confident in myself to really tackle anything.....this week with bootcamp has made me realise im so far from that! Fiona has been telling me i really need to put myself out of my comfort zone to keep growing....and as much as i hate to admit it....i think she is right!

I really do think this week tested me....the whole bootcamp thing did my head in so much....and i prolly did go to food more then i liked to cope...i wasnt terrible but did eat a few things i shouldnt have....but i think the fact that im still going to continue doing it and not give up and throw the towel in like i normally would is a big plus for me. Challenging...but the easy way out would be to give up everything and throw myself in a huge bucket of KFC....but giving up didnt come into it....i had a few things i shouldnt have eaten....but im still here plugging along not giving up...and thats whats important!!

Progress Pic - April 2006 (170.9 kilos) vs November 2011 (81.2 kilos)

Jaimee and Me

Kerry & I - mmmm cupcakes :)

Jaimee, David & Me

Me and my size 10 Running Bare T shirt

More photos will come next week from the real photographers! :)

Thursday, November 24, 2011


The scales dropped again overnight....down to 81.6 kilos...which put me in a much more positive frame. Work was bummer was i didnt realise id run out of my muesli bars ive been having in the i took a extra banana but it wasnt ripe enuff so it got ditched :( so then i was like off to the cafeteria looking for something that was around the 150 calorie mark (and trust me there is nothing in that calorie range there!) then i remembered they had put wagon wheels into the vending machine and i know they are around 217 calorie so i had one...really wasnt suitable....not only cos i know its not suitable...but i was still hungry after....i didnt eat anything else...but still altho it was tasty wasnt a great option!!! Tomorrow i am going to pick up some protein powder and go back to my protein shakes in the afternoon.

Tonight was the first session of bootcamp i actually turned up too LOL. I really didnt wanna go...but i knew i needed to at least do one session. So it started with a bit of a jog to the grounds where we worked out...we then did 10 sprints of 10 seconds, 20 seconds and 30 seconds. I was the slowest (no surprise there) i pretty much sucked at it LOL...and i hated the fact that i am so slow....and did feel very self conscious. But since i am registered for a 7.5km run in January it wont kill me to keep them up....after that we did 2 rounds of a circuit - 1 minute at each station....there was tricep dips, pushups, step ups, hovers and crunches. We then had to run up and down a set of stairs for 2 minutes and then walk back to the gym. I did burn 647 calories...and yeh i didnt enjoy it (i honestly didnt expect too) but....i know i need to see this thru....i have a very bad habit of giving up things when they get too hard....its actually quite surprising that i have stuck at this weight loss gig! LOL But i do realise thats a habit i need to i think i need to see this thru,,,,much as i wont like it. Big reminder to me why I started with PT all those years ago LOL.

I am off tomorrow....busy day....eye brow waxing....then gotta buy shoes, handbag and any jewellery to go with my dress (argh havent even decided on what colour shoes to wear...sighs) then body pump....then a hair appointment for my hair to be coloured and styled...before i go to works xmas show. Hopefully its a good nite and worth all this time ive spent shopping for blooming dresses! LOL

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I feel better tonight. Im not quite sure why....but im guessing its attending the gym (altho i was kinda slack there...didnt do my running stuff). My normal trainer for cycling wasnt taking the class so we did not a big fan of RPM but it was a workout and i needed that :) I was a bit annoyed when i first got to the gym i dont like change (no ground breaking news there!) so was a bit jacked about the change of instructor but the class was okay.

I wore a tshirt instead of a singlet....but you could still see my arms and the wrinkly bits :( I might take some photos this weekend so i can monitor the skin and muscle more over the new few months. Im really thinking i need to up the weight work for the arms.

Tomorrow is my friday....three day weekend coming my way (Yay!)

Im determined to try and go to this bootcamp tomorrow night with the right attitude...i do think i will suck at it....but if i go in with the attitude of "i dont wanna be here" then i prolly am going to hate it...i need to focus on the benefits doing this could be for my body and weight loss. I wish i was that person who could just go do these things without any second thought....but i think i will always be like this....i remember as a kid taking private ballet lessons and i was suppose to perform a solo dance at a esteidford....mum had stayed up the night before sewing a tutu...on the morning of the esteidford i woke up and said im not going....sounds familiar eh lol

Jumped on the scales earlier...they seem a bit better tonight...hopefully i will go down a lil more tomorrow be under 81.5 kilos by friday morning would be nice...i was 82.4 kilos this morning so we will see what happens.
So firstly i have switched off comments on the blog so sorry at least for the moment no comments can be left.

So last nite i SHOULD have gone to do my first bootcamp session...i stressed over it the entire not sure if its just the group aspect or cos i will feel out of my league but i just didnt want to go and my stomach churned a lot thruout the day while i ummmed and ahhhed about it. The next session is tomorrow i want to go? nope...but i have paid for it...and while already im thinking about how this wasnt a wise decision i will go and do one session...and then if i dont like it i just wont go to anymore. I think this just proves to me beyond a shadow of doubt im not a group person! I wont be registering for running group, or bootcamps or crossfit or anything like this again. And the thing is cos i dont want to do it, it makes me want to avoid the my headspace is all over the place a bit. I doubt i can do the bootcamp and that gets me really questioning whether i can make it to goal....after getting down to 80.5 kilos last week....2 bad meals on sunday and i was up to 83.2 kilos monday morning and 82.4 kilos this im basically up 2 kilos....pretty much back where i was 2 months ago UGH shoot me now!!

The skin on my arms is getting wrinklier and wrinklier....the dress im suppose to wear friday nite is short sleeved and i am really regretting not buying a long sleeve dress now. I think my arms have got to the point now where i cant wear singlets/tank tops and short sleeves. Wont lie it concerns me IF i get to going to end up at a "healthy number on the scales" but my body is going to look like the saggy, baggy elephant and yes i know i could consider surgery....but i thing i know without a shadow of a doubt ill be having no skin surgery.

Anyway thats my gripe of the matter how close to goal....this headspace stuff can really do you in!

Monday, November 21, 2011

oooops.....a lil too much carbs yesterday!

Yesterdays food ended up being pretty attrocious :( Carbs, carbs and more carbs followed off by chocolate mousse! Lawdie!!! The scales were back up to 83.2 kilos this surprise there. But back on track today.

Did 250 "jumps" with the skipping rope tonite...think i mite try and do 250 every night. I am actually getting quite good and quite fast at them! Only prolly takes me 5-6 minutes to do 250. I went to the gym tonight... my normal boxing instructor didnt take the class....someone else took it....the class was really not so good was prolly 1/3 of it was ab stuff....normally i burn 350-440 in the boxing class, and i think the way the normal instructor does the class where she overloads one arm then overloads the other has had something to do with the change in the shape of my shoulders (not solely this cos the last few months before fiona left the gym we did a LOT of work on my chest and shoulders but i think the boxing classes help) i normally do two classes in a row....but didnt bother staying for the second one. In hindsight had i known about the instructor change i woulda done abs express and then combat....oh well cant change it now....might call up next monday and check if the instructor will be doing the normal classes! lol

My abs are still sore from friday and saturday....quite low in the abs but i also noticed this after up around the rib cage area when i take a deep breath...lawdie i sound like im a old woman "oh it hurts to breathe!" lol Usually mondays is such a big calorie so disappointed about those classes....when i saw my normal boxing instructor leave the room i shoulda said "where you going? what class you teaching? i need a big calorie burn" lmfao! Its weird how when i have a meal or day off track....suddenly the "compliments" start to affect me like they did in the old days.....when ive had a day or so of being off track...and someone then is complimenting me on my weight loss i feel like SUCH a doesnt help either that i think sometimes people have the wrong perception of me...i do sometimes think people think i love the gym....breeze thru my workouts....and thats just not the truth....i dont love exercising....but i do love how self accomplished i feel after but i dont enjoy the act of exercising....i struggle with what others would prolly call basic not "natural" athletic....quite the opposite....even some of the most basic fundamental exercises i struggle with or dont perform at the level i should at this point....just basic things like pushups, squats, lunges everyone who thinks im some wonderwoman in the gym...i really more like the "little engine who could" i just try and keep at it till somehow i do it at a passable level ;)

Bootcamp tomorrow nite....wonder if i will hate it as much as i did crossfit lol Goodness i hope i manage to stick it out!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

So i did my 500 "jumps" with my skipping rope today :) YAY one part of my homework done and dusted. I actually kinda like it...(funny how these solo exercises i usually end up quite liking!)

Went out for lunch today with Tania omg ate so much! lol bruschetta and lasagne...the bruschetta was HUGE but omg so yummii!! So good to catch up with her.

Ive come to a interesting conclusion recently...a few years ago....a goal was i wanted a relationship...i thought i NEEDED that....and trust me if the right girl landed on my doorstep i wouldnt say no ;) but the reality is in some ways i lead quite a "straight" not a not interested in going to just not interested in the "scene" as such....normally i would think this is me getting old LOL....but its not just doesnt interested me enough, being in large crowds, in environments which are so loud that i cant even hear the people i am with....i much prefer my socialising to be out for dinner with friends were we can actually socialise. My life is so busy now...and its only going to get busier. Of course my weight loss and my fitness takes up some of my time and always will, i spend a bit of my time finding motivational stuff for my facebook group, updating my journal, reading on weight loss/fitness etc. Fiona and her partner have started to help me out with doing some work towards a website i am putting together (altho they are really doing all the hard work at this point!) but its a site which will help me to meet my goal of "paying it forward" .... its still in the planning stages at this point....but will basically be a "community"...with interaction such as forums, calender with my activities, promoting me to eventually doing motivational speaking, the site really has a lot of potential...but its in the early stages and over time will evolve. Then next june i want to FINALLY start studying towards being a personal trainer, then i am doing the resolution run in january and i am sure as the years go thru there will be more things like that i enter or start to train for. January the fernwood magazine comes out...i mean really i dont know what the future holds for me....and who knows what will happen as next year unfolds....but its so nice to be at a point in my life where its so fulfilling...and things that have been goals for years (such as "paying it forward") will start to come to fruition.

Big exercise week this week. Each day at the gym ill run 1km at speed of 8 and 3 times this week ill doing intervals totalling 1km at a speed of 10. My class routine this week should be: mon - 2 x 30 min boxing classes tues - bootcamp wed - cycling class thurs - bootcamp fri - bodypump sat - balance + running drills And of course friday nite is works xmas show! excited much???? The bonus is a 3 day weekend as well...only have to work 4 days this weekend :)

Excess Skin

Partly because a lot of people ask about my excess skin and partly to use as progress pics over the next few months....heres some pics of me front on and side on with my stomach tucked into pants and without it....personally for losing 90 kilos I dont think it looks to bad....but I definitely still have another 10-15 kilos to lose :)

Saturday, November 19, 2011

I have sore abs! Either I am cramping (which i shouldnt be) or i gave them one hell of a workout today LOL I gymmed it today....did some running drills and stuff and then body balance. Burnt a nice 853 i only worked out 3 days this week cos of my neck/shoulder but in 3 days i managed to burn 2300 cals...which works out to a average of 700 calories per day...awesome :) I am actually starting to realise i am fitter and more capable then i realise. Was comparing mountain climbers today....and i did some ordinary mountain climbers and then the word "they're easy" popped out of my mouth. And i was reminded when i use to hate them and struggled to be able to do them. I still say/think "can't" a lot but i am starting to realise lil by lil...that not all the time when i think can't is it true. I know a lot of my "can'ts" are based on what i couldnt do 90 kilos ago....but slowly slowly my head is starting to catch up. This week i have a goal to "skip" as with a skipping rope....500 times. Not all at once...spread out over the week...i have a skipping rope at might try and do some of it tomorrow...also need to do my runs like i should have done last week..plenty of things to occupy me when at the gym :) Works Xmas show is next friday...still so funny to realise i am really going this year. Ive never been once over the 10.5 years i have worked there...Ive bought tickets a couple of times before and then chickened out on the day...but i SWEAR thats not happening this year! I just need to buy shoes and a handbag of some flippin description ... i have the day off work (YAY 3 day weekend coming my way!!) so in the morning i will get my eyebrows waxed...body pump at lunchtime....then hair appointment at 3pm.....and party is at 7pm !! WOOT WOOT!!! I actually talked to one of the food coaches today about weighing in with her once every 5 weeks...i just wanna weigh in semi regularly to check my body fat % .... so my body balance instructor does slim so i mentioned it to her today,.....she only does it thursday mornings....and i only wanted to do it once a month....and i have a thursday off every 5 weeks so that works out well. Tomorrow i am out for lunch with Tania...havent caught up with her for that should be good.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Its the weekend!

Ahhhhh glorious friday nite and whats even better no work for me this weekend!! YAY!!! I got my MeTV today (like telstras T box) which once i set it up means i can record Jillian on the doctors everyday!! wooot !!! excited much???? lol

Tonite i went to the gym...i ran 1km on the treadmill...admittedly only at a speed of 7 but i did it...i felt very tired :( and then i did body pump .... i had told my instructor about how i was getting over having pulled my "trap" she told me to go very light on the weights...which I did. :)

I am like ridicuously excited about sleeping in tomorrow LOL. Ive been up 5.30am most days this week and woot i can sleep in till 9am tomorrow....LOVING IT!!!

Sarah (fionas best friend and trainer at the gym) saw a copy of Lorna Janes book today!!! She said the book looks really good...our local store has one copy in LOL so hopefully they will have a copy for me to buy soon.

Looking forward to a good weekend...sleep in tomorrow as i mentioned LOL...gym in the morning...balance and some of my own stuff...saturday nite at home which i am looking forward too (when you gym it most nites of the week those evenings at home are such a treat!) and sunday out for lunch with tania and to make the weekend wonderful would be to weigh in under 80 kilos monday morning...not so sure how that will go tho!!

Have a fab weekend!

PS i nearly forgot...i had to change my top at the gym tonite i would normally ALWAYS do that in a toilet or shower behind locked doors...but today i was like...bugger it...ripped it off in the change rooms and changed....with no concern ;) thats HUGE (and unfortunately noticing new "wrinkles" on my stomach,,,,more excess skin UGH)

Thursday, November 17, 2011

What did I get from this journey apart from the obvious?

I had a interesting question asked of me on the ww forum... which you feel different apart from the obvious? And when I thought about it...its that when I look at my "before pics" I not only see a sad person but also a negative person. Before this journey I was negative, pure and simple, I thought nothing good happened to me, that life sucked and the world was against me. I felt powerless to control my life. As i went thru this journey...I realised I am capable of things...i discoverred life is as good as i make it....thats up to me and the attitude i take with my day each morning...good things happen to me because of me and cos i put myself out there. I realise now its not just that i fit into a size 12 dress that makes life good, i am appreciative of the numerous good things in my life...from people who i surround myself i spend my spare time....i am a fulfilled person with a huge amount of self satisfaction and not the empty person i once was. Really i was like a empty heart wasnt truly beating....i was just pldding along in "inside" i feel full...i have lots to think about....lots of things to occupy my lil brain....which doesnt involve being a negative zap...thats what i got out of this journey....besides a smaller dress size!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

90.3 kilos lost!!!

Well today has been a brilliant day. Yesterday afternoon I went and saw my physio. She wasnt surprised at all that I had been having headaches....she did some manipulation on my neck and shoulder and found i have some "trigger points" anyway its much better today!!

This morning when I woke the scales had dropped down to 80.6 kilos!!! WOOT!!!! So i have now lost 90.3 kilos....soooooooooooo wrapped!!! It is now seeming possible I could make being in the 70's by works xmas show on the 25th....fingers crossed!!! Its crazy to think I am getting towards the end of this weight loss gig (altho i still have about 13 kilos to go to get to my "ultimate goal") and of course once there the work is far from done. But weird to think at some point in the next 6-9 months....the whole "did i lose weight this week" question wont be part of my will be more a case of "wooo hooo i maintained my weight another week" (altho that may not happen initially as i may fluctuate a lil with muscle gain) Its weird tho still....i look at myself and still have a lot of fat on me....especially on my stomach and thighs...its weird to think only another 10 or so kilos....i will theoretically be at goal...just seems i have more fat on my body....then losing 10 kilos will get rid off....but oh well will worry about that more when i get to that number.

And with that...Im off to veg in front of the tv before a early nite...7.30am start tomorrow morning!!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Im home neck is giving me a headache and i slept crappy....add to that i am nauseaus which is prolly related to my iron being down a bit with being my cycle and a couple of bads nites sleep. My head is pounding altho my neck feels like it has a lil more movement...ill just be relieved once i get to see my thinking i prolly wont exercise tonite or tomorrow...but hopefully thursday nite ill be back into things. Pain in the ass just as im starting to get back into the running...but its only a few days....still frustrating tho.

As i said last nite...i really am at a good place in my life at the moment....and i think the biggest point that makes me realise im at a point where if the scales went no further down that would be okay. (not that i am planning to goal is to get well within the healthy weight range). I now where size 10 tops....size 12 dresses and pants are a size 14-16...its not my "dream" of where i want to end up...but its still pretty damn good. No matter what number i end up on the wont mean thats my "final body" as ive said before once i start to maintain ill change my eating slightly....basically to even more superfoods and more leaning towards eating to increase muscle. When i started this journey....i wrote this on the weight watchers site...."to reclaim my life" ... im now no longer worried about going to sleep at nite and either not waking or having a heart attack....whilst still not ashamed to go on a date or to socialise....i am fit and strong....and only going to continue to get fit and stronger...finding clothes to wear is not a not miserable thinking how my life sucks and nothing good happens to me.....i know good stuff will happen with a positive outlook and by "living life" .... so my goals i have met....but regardless what weight i am....i will always continue to increase my physical abilities...and become stronger and more toned. Its nice to not stress so much over the up a kilo this morning....but i know to have gained a kilo of fat i would have had to eat a minimum of a extra 7000 calories....i know i havent done its most likely from day 2 of TOM plus the fact i had a painkiller yesterday.

Im planning to start doing a "accelerator day" like they do on 12WBT....basically the day before weigh in cut out the bread, and weetbix. I am going to try it this weekend on sunday....ill simply have scrambled eggs for breakfast with some shortcut bacon and dry fried a treat...going out for lunch that day so will just have a chicken salad (no bruschetta for me!!) and then meat and vegies for dinner....will be interested to see how that impacts everything. Apart from that i am sticking to 1300 calories every day except on saturdays dinner is a yiros instead of my normal dinner which puts me about 1500 that day....and wednesday nights for dinner im going for something a lil "flash" (this week its ricotto, walnut and spinach rolled in chicken) which will prolly put me at around 1700 that i get my high and low cal days but ensuring all clean food still :) Must say i do feel very positive about getting under 80 kilos sooner rather then later!!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Weigh in day :)

Well the most successful weigh in wayyyyyyyyyyyy over 6 months! Woke up at 3.30am with cramps which I have had on and off all day :( BUT anyway my cycle appeared AND i still scored a loss....woooooooooooooooooo-freaking-hooooooooooooooo!!!! Its way over 6 months since that has happened....fingers crossed i dont gain tomorrow....but wow how exciting :) our bodies sure are crazy contraptions! Anyway so i scored a 1.2 kilos im down to 81.3 kilos and total loss is 89.6 kilos. Cannot believe how close I am getting to not only 90 kilos lost...But getting under 80 kilos...and also hitting 76 kilos!!!

Its not looking like i will have enough time off over xmas to go to streaky bay for christmas is starting to look like christmas day at home this year :( Anyone who has read my journal for a long time probably remembers i did xmas day alone back in not really concerned in some ways it might be the way to go....i can control my food and ensure i dont gain over xmas (i gained 3-4 kilos last xmas) Im not bothered either way...last time this happened i spent the day watching L word all day LOL will just have to ensure I have something entertaining to keep me occupied :)

My trista singlets i have from Lorna Jane (i have 6 of them are really getting too big....the straps are just too long....sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!) Will have to go buy more...mite even pick up a couple in size small this week

Ive got a sore neck at the moment which extends into my shoulder blade, ive had it since friday nite....i spoke to my physio briefly tonite about it and she said no kickboxing...i have a appointment tomorrow nite with her so hopefully its something quick and simple and i can get back to normal within a day or two.

My current goal is to get into the 70's by November 25....not sure if i will make it but gotta try right? At the very least i wanna have hit my 90 kilos by then but to be a 70's girl would be awesome!!

Despite my sore neck im at a nice place at the moment....when fiona left the gym....i really did struggle....even tho i know logically i shouldnt have....but she has been a god send....sitting down with me recently and working out a program with me so i can get on with things independantly at the gym and providing support via facebook....and getting that good mindset back is just helping me so feeling much calmer and realising how good things in my life are :)

Sunday, November 13, 2011

People must get sick to death of me saying "great day" haha but yesterday was :) Went out for dinner with the fab ms martine last nite...such a good nite....fabulous food. I rarely eat pasta these fact im pretty sure the last time i did was at my 5 year dinner in early august. So i had bruschetta and then a pasta dish of ravioli with a rose sauce with roasted capsicum and freaking yummy! And of course lots of chatting!!! Was really good to see Martine (and ill say it again LOVE that new hair colour ;))

As it was warm last nite it was so nice to be able to go out wearing a lil summer top (check photo in previous post) i was wearing my size 14 boyfriend jeans with lil heels and a size SMALL country road top! :) And its such a cute and flattering lil top...i got it from a second hand store but its going to really get a good working out this summer :)

Exercise wise this should be a really good off next weekend YAY and i finish at 3.30pm everyday except wednesday so this is my plan for the week:

mon : run 1km @ level 8 + 1 hour boxing
tue : run 1km @ level 8 + sprints totalling 1km @ level 10 + body pump
wed : run 1km @ level 8 + sprints totalling 1km @ level 10
thur: running outside
friday: run 1km @ level 8 + sprints totalling 1km @ level 10 + body pump
saturday: balance

Its actually under 9 weeks till the resolution run now and im so far away from even running half of a 7.5km run it aint funny so the running needs to be a bit of a priority at the moment. So the intention is to workout for 6 days this week....and i will again aim for burning 5000 calories...burnt 4200 calories this week so hopefully i will improve on that. And of course the week after I start bootcamp twice a week :)

Ive seen some clothes from Lorna Jane i want! LOL GAWD!!! I am going to have to stay away from that store or i will crumble and cave in lol.

Hoping in the next week or so i will find out whats happening about my xmas leave....would be nice to know if i am spending xmas day in streaky or alone at home! Fingers crossed it all works out.

I was getting dressed this morning...looked at myself side on and was very impressed with my ass! LOL Maybe the jeans are super flattering I am not sure...but i took a side on pic and this view of my ass looks pretty good in my books!

Im watching the movie "snowtown" off to watch a bit more of it...have a good week all!!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

progress pic

My latest progress pic....the one on the left at 170.9 kilos and on the right at 82.1 kilos :)

Friday, November 11, 2011

The scales went up this morning :( up to 82.2 kilos....wasnt sure why i knew i hadnt done anything wrong....have eaten good....burnt 4200 calories this week so far....then i got the odd cramp today....went back and cycle was a lot earlier last month (i thought it wasnt due for another 10 days lol) so expecting that to arrive over the next day or two (lovely right before weigh in day!) so suspecting i may end up gaining this week :( but regardless just gotta keep on keeping on. Hopefully i dont go over 83 kilos tho or i may cry LOL But at least i have a indiction why its gone from 81.4 kilos to 82.2 kilos over the last couple of days.

Didnt gym it today...couldnt get there in time for pump so decided i will skip it.

Went thru my wardrobe tonite....pulled out a pile of clothes for Martine....all my Large and Xtra Large Lorna Jane tops gone :( lol im happy now im in smalls...but still i love my lorna jane stuff!! lol

Tomorrow i work then out for dinner with Martine and a day at home on sunday (sooooo looking forward to that sleep in!)

Have a good weekend all!!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Under 82 kilos....third day running :)

Well the scales jumped up a lil this morning....81.7 kilos to 81.9 kilos. So very minimal gain....still puts me at a loss so far this week of 600 grams so I am more then happy with that :)

Yesterday I popped into the clothing store "Veronika Maine" and found a couple of dresses I red one and one green one....I was leaning towards the red one and then the store rang me today to tell me the dress had been reduced in price by 30%!! So after the gym today I went and got it....and its now MINE hehe. I liked it in the store but bringing it home and trying it on with my strapless bra...just LOVE it!

Yesterday ended up being a huge exercise day ... I did pump and balance at lunchtime....both classes were 45 minutes long....then that afternoon i did a hour of boxing (omg such a hard workout!) and then a 45 minute cycling class. Burnt over 1800 calories....was a huge exercise day. Today I went into the gym....and fiona came and nudged me along while on the treadmill...ive been doing the plan this week me and her worked out last week. And the goal for the week was to run at a speed of 10 at the end of the week. The idea was to run a full kilometre at a speed of 10 but i knew i just couldnt do that lol. So I ran a total of 1 kilometre broken up with sprints of between 150 metres and 300 metres....OMG trust me the 300 metre one KILLED chest/lungs have never ached like that before. LOL But I did this week coming.....each day I go to the gym I need to do a 1km run at level 8 and 3 times during the week run a total of 1km at level 10 in sprints. PHEW im tired even thinking about it! LOL Lucky for me i was suppose to finish work at 5.30pm next week but someone wanted late starts every day but wednesday so i managed to get 3.30pm finishes monday, tuesday, thursday and friday. Which means for the next 4 weeks the latest i finish is 4pm which is brilliant for the gym (well except wednesday)

I work saturday this weekend then no weekend work for the next 3 weeks :) YAY!!! Saturday night I am off out for dinner with Martine...and sunday im not doing a bloody thing apart from some housework and washing....i need a day at home lol.

Ive also started to look into getting a website up for me to get my name out there for motivational speaking....only in the very beginning stages...but EXCITING!!

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

GREAT day today :) Woke up and the scales said 81.7 kilos!! woooooooooooo hooooooooooo so ecstatic about that :)

I went and returned the orange dress :( now I need to find another one....not too much luck in that department just yet. Will go looking again on sunday.

Went to the gym did my stairs and I discoverred the gym had cancelled the tuesday lunchtime boxing class :( So instead there was zumba....yeh im really not a huge fan of zumba. Next time i have a tuesday off i will go a lil later and do body combat instead. Then tonite i went outside and for a hour or so did some running sprints and some step ups and tricep dips etc....i burnt over 1300 calories today :) go me!!! So have burnt 1862 cals so far this week. Tomorrow is going to be a huge exercise day...pump and balance at lunch....and then hour of boxing and cycle class in the evening. I would expect by the end of tomorrow i will be over 3000 calories burnt.

Im also starting to put into place some plans for some goals for 2012....i would really like to start to get my name out there for motivational speaking so starting to plan for a website to help advertise....maybe nothing will come of it but nothing ventured nothing gained. As i have always said i want to "pay it forward" and ill be doing my best to do that.

Not much else to say...super tired tonite....

Monday, November 07, 2011

Weigh in day :)

So thats my new top! I had to get the Lorna Jane angels to ship it to me as they didnt have a size SMALL in the rundle street store (and the medium was massive on me). I love it! I was thinking after i tried it on how was only in June i got my first Lorna Jane top.....that was in a size XL...that top is huge on me now...and am actually giving it to Martine. Its funny over the last 6 weeks or so ive changed my clothes a bit i wear to the gym...i always wore baggy clothes....then one day in PT Fiona said to need to wear tighter clothes that you dont fuss around with all the time. So i started finding more fitted tops....initially i felt so self conscious in them as they werent huge tops which i thought covered my tummy but now im not bothered....and i am pulling at my tops very little in the gym :)

Today was weigh in day....I lost 500 grams YAY. So i am now down to 82.5 kilos :) So the aim is to be 81.9 kilos by next week...fingers crossed!

Couldnt get to the gym till 6pm tonight...did boxing...such a good class....I really like that she introduces new CRAZY stuff...there was 1 legged burpees which i didnt even bother to try....but there was another where u are in a lunge position....twist towards the boxing bag and jab....that was rather cool. Burnt 340 calories in 30 minutes so not bad at all. Tomorrow i am returning THE dress in the morning and will hopefully buy another one....then 1km run, jog up the 14 flights of a boxing class....and then a bit later body pump. That should have me burning well over 1000 calories.

Its a bit strange to think I am only 6.5 kilos from the top of the healthy weight range. Ive decided soon as I fit into size 12 pants more then whatever i am at that weight ill start to maintain and hopefully work on building some muscle to help with the skin issue.

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Back to calorie cycling..

Well thats it...working my one full weekend every 5 weeks is done again for a few more weeks (thank goodness!) I have tuesday, wednesday and sunday this week off and then I am back to my normal routine thankfully. So YAY!!

This morning I was back at 83 kilos....the good news is after 6 weeks or so of gaining approx 2 kilos then losing 2 kilos as last week i lost 1.7 kilos....and was 83 kilos last looks like im headed for a stay the same or very small gain or loss...which is a improvement. Ive decided to change a few things this week....most of my eating is really good, this is a average day:

breakfast - 2 weetbix and milk with 1 tablespoon of chia seeds
snack - 1 banana with 15 grams tahini
lunch - sandwich with burgen weight management bread with 50 grams of ham or turkey and mayonaisse and salad
snack - brookfarm muesli bar (these have no artificial crap in them....only bad thing is rice syrup)
dinner - 150-180 grams raw protein with vegetables (mushrooms, capsicums, onions, brocolli etc) with 30 grams feta cheese
On days i exercise and burn over 500 grams i will treat myself a freddo frog as well

So as you can see I dont eat heaps....thats around 1300 cals before i have the freddo. I dont want to eat less then I am....last week I only exercised twice but i burnt over 1000 cals each of those days...I dont think eating less is the answer but maybe eating slightly differently is. So with that said....I am going to go back to calorie cycling and see how that works for a will be:

monday 1200
tuesday 1700
wednesday 1300
thursday 1600
friday 1300
saturday 1500
sunday 1200

So ive plugged in my food for tomorrow....1166 cals for the day....i cant get to the gym till 6pm tomorrow nite...will do boxing class then and also run up the 14 flights of stairs. I wont do the run tho as fiona wanted me to do that when fresh and I cant manage to do it before boxing. I struggled to do it at a speed of 8 on friday when fresh so ill leave it till tuesday when I have the day off and can do it before the lunchtime boxing class :) My homework was to run 1km at a speed of 10 within the week LOL i really cant see it happening....but ill do my darnedest to do it. I dont know why I hadnt clicked that I havent been doing the calorie cycling so thats prolly had something to do with the plateau as my body has always responded so well with the cycling. So fingers crossed for this week :)

Saturday, November 05, 2011

Things seem to be on the upward especially mentally. I feel much better today and bonus when i weighed in this morning i was 82.8 kilos.....i may actually manage a loss this week which would be the first time in prolly 2 months where it would be two weeks running which would be good (altho I accept at this stage it may be a lot of weeks of up/down/up/down. So if I manage to weigh in at 82.8 kilos on monday it would be a loss of 200 grams....nothing massive...but it would be a step in the right direction.

It was good talking to the pump trainer after pump yesterday too, as I am TRYING to get into running....and I was telling her this....she gave me some recommendations in relation to eating and even to some training closer to the event :)

Worked today. I work one full weekend out of every 5. Next weekend I work saturday only. So saturday is done. So only another 2 days and I will have 2 days off ....yay freaking yay since i only had one day off this week. As im working till 5pm this week I cant get to HEAPS of the classes....i can make a boxing one on monday night....and pump tuesday night...and boxing and cycle on wednesday night....but as i cant make any thursday,friday and saturday i mite do some extra classes on tuesday and wednesday. Could go in and do boxing at lunch time on tuesday....and pump and balance on wednesday lunchtime...but that may be too much on one day...decisions decisions.

Not much else going on....quiet nite at home tonight since i am working in the morning...a yiros and some retro tv sounds like the plan for me!

I had what struck me as a weird comment on facebook yesterday....I was mentioning that I need to get thru my head that Im a size small in LJs tops these days and a friend commented that i am "lucky", hate to say it peeps lucky didnt come into it at all! Plenty of work and maybe some luck in finding the right support system, and finding a good gym etc.....but 90% of my success has been purely from hard work. I use to look at slim people or people with nice figures and think "lucky buggar" and sure for some with good genetics etc they are lucky....but i think thats a minority there are more people that are slimmer who live healthily then arent from what I see.

Okay time to scoot home....have a good night all!

Friday, November 04, 2011

Friday :)

Good day today! Ive decided since my calorie burn when i finally get my ass to the gym is quite high these days...the days i exercise ill eat 1500 cals and non exercise days 1400 cals (biggest loser site claims i can eat 1600 cals and still lose weight) So i was under my 1500 cals today :) I did my first day of my program that me and fiona came up first thing i had to do was run 1km....was only on level 8 but geezus thought i was going to freaking die! Honestly didnt even think i would last the whole kilometre initially...then i went sat up my pump step then went and jogged up the stairs. So its 7 flights...fiona has told me to go as hard as I can on the first set of 7 flights and then try and beat myself on the second round of 7 flights. So i did this last nite....after having done nothing....first flight was 3mins3sec and second round was 3mins1sec.....tonite....after having just ran the 1km (and trust me i was buggered!) first round i did 2mins41seconds....and second round....i did 2mins41seconds!!! So i didnt beat it but considering how tired i was and ive been avoiding the stairs and running the last month or pretty impressed with that :) I then went and did body pump which is a 60 minute class. Im still doing the higher weights. Currently im doing 6.25kilos on each end of the bar in the squat track but im going to try on tuesday to do 7.5 kilos on each end. I think the lunge track i can also try and increase from 5 kilos on each end to 6.25kilos. The other next one to increase would be the back track....but.....when i was on long service leave i tried 6.25 kilos on each end and i really struggled to lift that above my head and it hurt my while 5 kilos seems fine for the back track at the moment (maybe it even feels a bit easy) ill increase the squat and lunge track this week....and then maybe try to increase the back track the week after. The shoulder,bicep,chest and tricep track im a bit of a weakling with and only doing 3.75 kilos and especially that darn shoulder and bicep track i really struggle. Anyway so i burnt 1094 cals in just under 2 hours today....considering a hour of that was pump, so weight work i am pretty impressed with that. After pump the trainer pulled me aside and asked me how i was going motivation wise now fiona isnt at the gym, we talked about that a lil she basically just told me to throw myself into classes, and she has run marathons before so we talked a lil bit about running. And she just told me a few things she recommends....its good tho how supportive the gym is :)

The other thing I have noticed is my bicep muscle seems to be changing shape a lil. I really noticed it after the bicep seems fuller....rounder....prolly first time a body part of mine has been "fuller" and I am happy about it ;)

THEN i signed up for thats it i am committed to it now. So that starts on the 22nd for 5 weeks....and thats on tuesday and thursday fingers crossed i survive that!

I wore one of my Lorna Jane tops i bought yesterday today. Super cute tank top....size medium....but ive now realised its TOO BIG!!! No more medium sized tank tops i think from LJ....only small sizes! Its still wearable ill just need to have to wear another singlet under it but DAYAM!! I did buy a hoodie from them yesterday is a medium but it fits me perfectly....a hoodie being a lil loose is fine.

Anyway no more gym till monday as I am working all weekend :( Might have to try and go for a long walk tomorrow nite after dinner instead or chuck on one of Jillians DVDs :)

Nitemare too...found out one of the other girls at work bought the same dress as me :( so its going back! One of the others i tried on and liked I will prolly was cheaper too! lol

Thursday, November 03, 2011

Im backkkkkkkkkkk!!!

Well im back! I know I had some "negative nancy" posts previously up...(over the weekend i think?) but i had deleted them. Not so much cos i was upset by them or anything but i feel a responsibility for people to see this CAN be done...and whilst i think its important people see its not all smooth sailing for me...i didnt think repetition upon repetition of negativity was appropriate.

Anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.....I couldnt initially work out why i was being so negative and why i had, had enuff of this weight loss....i figured some of it may be related to fiona having left the gym and me going from 3 PT sessions per week down to having do things by myself. I know a lot of people had said to me "why dont u get another trainer" but im just not interested in going down that path, for a variety of reasons. Fiona was actually my 4th trainer...I had 3 other trainers before her and dont desire going thru that process again to find the right trainer, when I have sat down and worked it out I have spent over $20,000 over the last 3 years on my weight loss. Now I dont regret it for a second, it was a sacrifice i was more then willing to make, but I really dont want to pay so much for the gym anymore. Who knows what the future holds....but right now another trainer isnt a path I am going to go down. Following a few conversations with Fiona over the last week or so over facebook....I started to realise a lot of this was simply down to my self belief....I struggle to think I can do this on my own. Anyway so I caught up with fiona at the gym tonite.....and we sat down for a hour or so and talked. The gym is having a bootcamp which is for 5 weeks and starts on November 22, we discussed this at length and I am now leaning towards doing it....all comes down to confidence for i will speak to the gym next week about it...fiona doesnt think its out of my ability, so if i go ahead with that, that will be tuesday and thursday nights at 6.30pm. The good thing about that is its a "appointment"....a committment at the gym which i need to attend. And i need those committments.

We then worked out a program for the class wise what we decided is this :

mon - boxing
tues - pump
wed - boxing (when i can make it on time) + cycle class
thur - running
fri - body pump
sat - balance

As well as the classes.....5 days a week i have to run up the stairs (7 flights) twice....and i have to time them and on the second round improve on my time. And this week I have to run 1km 5 days a week...starting at a speed of 8 and working up to 10 (eek!) by the end of the week. But i feel much better as i have goals now. I feel a lot better now as I have goals and things I need to do! Fiona photocopied the plan and I am sure if I dont mention doing it on facebook she will be kicking my ass! So no excuses ;)

I bought my cocktail dress today! Its SUCH a girl dress!! I tried on 5 dresses....3 I really liked, the other 2 were black and so I decided that was a bit boring ;) Its a burnt orange colour with a black is a bit of a snap of it...not a great photo....but you get the idea

I then wandered to bras and things to get a strapless had a proper fitting.....5 years ago 26E (altho i was prolly bigger then that and was just wearing overstretched bras) today i am a 14D....which seems tiny to me....but yanno if they got rid of the excess skin id prolly only be a C cup lol. I also got some tummy sucker undies as well and then as they were having a buy 2 get the 3rd item free sale....i got some cute pj bottoms too :)

I then went down to lorna jane....and well....ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm ...... *whistles*.....$420 later!!! LOL I bought a hoodie, a purple singlet from their LJ black range, a pammy crop, a white singlet with a pammy crop installed, a laundry bag for washing, couple of pairs of socks and also the MOST to die for top! It is spearmint green so pretty....gorgeous material....i tried it on in a medium....but the medium was too have organised with them to get a small and post it out to me i should recieve it next week. And cos I had spent so much I got a free mandy t shirt....and also im a VIW member now which means 10% off all my purchases until June next year :)

Then as i was purchasing them the girls are telling me that Lorna Jane is releasing a new book...i was like yeh im in they were asking about that.....then they were like....Lorna Jane is coming to the store on December 2....we will organise for you to personally meet her :) So they are going to call me before then to arrange that :)

So my bank balance isnt so keen on today! LOL But my mind and sanity is !!! The other good news? I was 82.9 kilos this morning......slowly....slowly....................