So firstly i have switched off comments on the blog so sorry at least for the moment no comments can be left.
So last nite i SHOULD have gone to do my first bootcamp session...i stressed over it the entire day...im not sure if its just the group aspect or cos i will feel out of my league but i just didnt want to go and my stomach churned a lot thruout the day while i ummmed and ahhhed about it. The next session is tomorrow nite....do i want to go? nope...but i have paid for it...and while already im thinking about how this wasnt a wise decision i will go and do one session...and then if i dont like it i just wont go to anymore. I think this just proves to me beyond a shadow of doubt im not a group person! I wont be registering for running group, or bootcamps or crossfit or anything like this again. And the thing is cos i dont want to do it, it makes me want to avoid the gym....so my headspace is all over the place a bit. I doubt i can do the bootcamp and that gets me really questioning whether i can make it to goal....after getting down to 80.5 kilos last week....2 bad meals on sunday and i was up to 83.2 kilos monday morning and 82.4 kilos this morning....so im basically up 2 kilos....pretty much back where i was 2 months ago UGH shoot me now!!
The skin on my arms is getting wrinklier and wrinklier....the dress im suppose to wear friday nite is short sleeved and i am really regretting not buying a long sleeve dress now. I think my arms have got to the point now where i cant wear singlets/tank tops and short sleeves. Wont lie it concerns me IF i get to goal...im going to end up at a "healthy number on the scales" but my body is going to look like the saggy, baggy elephant and yes i know i could consider surgery....but i wont...one thing i know without a shadow of a doubt ill be having no skin surgery.
Anyway thats my gripe of the day....no matter how close to goal....this headspace stuff can really do you in!