Saturday, February 28, 2009

Survived another RPM class !

Woke at about 7.15am this up...went to the docs and had the blood test (and yes no problems finding a vein again either !) and then i dashed into town to make the RPM class...but OH NO her royal hawtness gabby wasnt taking the class today !!! So after kicking the bike...i jumped on it and got stuck into the class. We had sarah today taking it....she was rather good..i liked her parts of the class you have to pedal standing which friggin kills and puffs me out last time i didnt manage it once but this time...i did 3 times ! Now admittedly theres about 8 times you do it in the class...but 3 times i thought was great...and my butt n girly parts only really hurt the last 15 minutes of the class so i thought that was a big improvement !

The scales have moved a lil so far this week but not not expecting a huge loss this week (500 grams would be nice tho) but regardless my fitness levels are increasing, and my measurements are going down so it is all good.

I have thought quite a bit about the docs appointment yesterday and theres a few things i am going to focus on, now when he told me my liver results he u drink? i was like....well maybe once a month....he then said do u binge drink? (my mind was clicking over very fast thinking that depends on ur definition mister !) but i said...i dont think so LOL then he asked if i do any drugs...too which i was like nooooooooo never touched any (which i havent) andhe told me normally you only see results like mine in alcoholics or drug users...hmmmm so i think the alcohol needs to go. There is no point getting healthy in every aspect if when i do drink it is harming my liver. So before i even know what he is going to say on wednesday i am going to cut out the alcohol...thats not a big deal for me...i do tend to like a drink if i am meeting people for the first time but it may simply be a case of "suck it up princess". The next thing i decided is no more going out at least till this is all under control when i have to work the next day...i did that last weekend then felt crap all this week so i'm gonna cut that out. And i am gonna aim to eat red meat 3 times per not a big lover of it....i mean ill eat it but if its a choice of chicken or red meat i will always go for chicken. So after the gym i ducked into the shops and bought some roast beef for my sandwiches. I also bought lots of vegetables....and as tania pointed out yes i did buy spinach (admittedly ive been slack with eating it lately) i also bought mushrooms, baby sinich leaves, tomatos, carrots, zucchini. tonite i will make spaghetti with mince and i will add lots of spinich plus grated carrots, zucchinis and mushies. I need to find some other recipes for red meat dishes that i will like too...tomorrow arvo im going to catch up with the girlies at the wheaty so i thought for a quick n easy meal i will make spinich and ricotta canneloni tomorrow nite. And i do have some other red meat cuts in the fridge (gawd knows what they are or how ill have them but they are there....i will try and have some this week too !)

Okies i am zonked...1.20pm and i am really sleepy...even too tired for backgammon...but i downloaded the changling and get smart movie so think i may take the lap top into the bedroom and watch them....have a good day all

Friday, February 27, 2009

Test Results

Well went to the docs...i dont have thyroid is fine and my cholesterol is fine...but part of the functionality of my liver is raised (had a simlar problem back in 2007 but its higher then bak then now) and my red blood cells are small which are apparantly indicative of anaemia. So back i go tomorrow morning for another blood test to check my iron and B12 levels. I guess the soothing thing to me is what i am feeling isnt im just gonna keep plugging thru till they have worked this out...and if it is anaemia that is pretty simply treated apparantly. I wanted to do the RPM class tomorrow but as i have to fast tonite and then get the blood test in the morning dont think i will make it to the rpm class in time....but there is a body pump class on at 10.30am with her royal hawtness i think i mite go into the gym after the test and try the body pump class. Everything else is ecstatic that i dont have to be up at 5.30am tomorrow lol I am off to make my dinner...have a good friday nite all

Thursday, February 26, 2009


OMG today has been a good day !! Yes i am tired but regardless its been good !!! I was up in customer relations again for half the day .... and they have told me how well i do. Then as i was leaving my boss mary said to me today...your skin looks so healthy! A huge reminder its not just about those scales, I like how Jillian views scales...she says all the scales are is a compass to tell u if u are on track or not.

Then after town i went into town for the i had to go to medicare n then had about a hour to waste before the gym and i was sitting there with my banana and diet coke and this girl sat near me with bloody mcdonalds ! And i mist admit i was tempted...then thought no bugger it grabbed my bag and went to the gym ! I did 24 minutes on the cycle then i did my PT session which my trainer fiona called "boxing mania" lol anyways i worked real hard my heart rate was up and i was one tired weight loss princess by the end of it. She said i am doing really well and am very good with the co-ordination and steps etc (prolly no surprise when you consider my dance background) she also said i am really strong with my must have been a good workout !

Then i had a 6inch roast beef subway for not a huge fan of roast beef but its was friggin yum!

Saturday i am going to do RPM and intend to sit near the front of the class...not for the perv factor...but well yeh maybe for the perv factor ! lol

Sunday arvo i am going to the wheaty to catch up with a few of the dying for the sleep ins this weekend...yay its friday tomorrow...have a good friday all =] Ill be back to post once i've got my blood test results tomorrow arvo
Well 7am and am at work. Still feel kinda blah today, tired and a lil weak but im made of strong stuff. I do have a PT session tonite and i will be going to i havent let whatevers going on stop me over the last 6 weeks or so, so not about to start now.

I realised a couple of things yesterday arvo, one, normally when I go to the docs and they take my blood pressure they put the cuff on and normally it pops off all the time and half the time they give up before its done. When i went to hospital last november they gave up and the nurse said...i have big muscley arms too (her way ive saying i have fat arms) anyway he popped it on yesterday did it...told me my blood pressure was 125 over 90 ... wow so nice and easy ! Then when I went to have the blood normally they cant find a vein and they smack my arms to death going from one arm to another...anyway she tapped it and was like ok we use this vein. Then when she put it in i barely felt it n i thought well she has to push it in yet but she was like...ok were in...omg...being slimmer even makes blood tests easier !

The scales seemed to be a lil lower today which is a good thing ! YAY...gawd its friday tomorrow...already half way thru this weigh in week. This weekend I am planning to rest a lot and not do too much. Saturday morning i am going to do a RPM class (yes tania perv time ! lol with hawt gabby) and sunday afternoon depending how i feel i mite go to the wheaty for a few drinks in the afternoon...apart from that some housework...and i am going to take the opportunity to have some early nites and sleepins.

Nothing else of interest going on....have a good day all

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Well I am at home today, as I said yesterday i woke up real thirsty...when i got home from work i had a headache so went and lied down and it was sooooooooo hard to get up in time for the gym, but i did but was lightheaded after my shower again and then was also light headed while at the gym. Anyway i thought maybe i am just over tired,,,i slept till 9.30am today and prolly coulda slept all day. So I went to the docs. Anyway straight away hes suspicious u have diabetes (ugh), he had me stick out my tongue and told me i am partly dehydrated and so sent me off for blood tests. I was tested for diabetes, thyroid, cholesterol, and my liver. I dont think its diabetes to be honest...ive been told all my life by docs think u have diabetes and then they test it and its always negative...but i need to find out whats going on. I have a appointment 4pm on friday to get the results. Anyway until that point hes basically told me to keep up my fluids but im not allowed to drink juice or any drinks with sugar in them.

Anyway trained last nite...and fiona told me im no longer at a beginners level ! wooo hooo ! she said im definitely at a intermediate level. I have one session left of the current program and then she will do a new program for shes getting me worried now lol she said she wants me to do more balancing stuff (last nite i did lunges with one foot on a balance ball (half a inflatable ball thing) and she wouldnt let me hold on to the bar lol it was bloody hard ! lol

And to answer your question donna i work for optus...i do tech support for their dsl and wireless broadband product. off to relax and rest...i would like to do one of jillians dvds tonite....omg and heres testament to how tired i was last nite...i fell asleep while listening to jillians show....that NEVER happens LOL

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Toooooooooooosday !~

Well i was one very sleepy and thirsty weight loss princess this morning! Dunno why but i was so thirsty when i woke and didnt feel 100% but i think it was just overtiredness. I feel perfectly wunderful now. Today i finish at 3pm....less then 3 hours away and dont start work till noon tomorrow YAY. So tonite i have my resistance PT session at 7pm...and i have the new episode of the L word already downloaded ! And i am so looking forward to crawling into bed after my PT session tonite and ummm relaxing with the L word gals hahahahahahaha

We got some news our rosters are changing today ! Its just a lil change but its good news....they have added a extra week of 7am starts to it....which means the roster is now 8 weeks and not 7 and what this also means is i will now have 4.5 weekends out of 8 off instead of 3.5 weekends out of 7 which is much better.

My heel is still bloody sore. I know the only cure for it is no walking and to get stuck into cycling (it strengthens the calf muscle which helps) but gawd ! i so wish i could go for nice walks with my mp3 player but with it how it is now even when i dont have any weight on it its often sore...was sore while lying in bed last nite. I can still exercise like normal just no walks over 15 minutes.

Everything else is going on track...subway for din din tonite....yum yum....will be off to the gym before long....enjoy all

Monday, February 23, 2009

Weigh in result

Well I lost 200 grams taking me to 12.5 since i rejoined on dec 15 and 32.6 altogether...and the thing is I am happy about it. It tells me the results on the scales are indicative to what i put in...i ate bad for 3 days 10 days ago i think i am lucky to get away with a loss ! Anyways this is just a quick post...but to answer your question katy I download the biggest loser of the internet using bit torrents from and if your interested you can also download jillians radio show from here simply look under sunday and you will see a archive of her shows...the shows are held US morning time and usually ready to download on about wednesday. OKies off i another 7am start tomorrow =]

Weigh in Day

Well must say I find the US version of the biggest loser so much more motivating. They dont do temptations or the walk or anything, they purely focus on the job at hand. Between commercials jillian and bob give trainer tips and i really like how jillian and bob are there for the weigh ins. Actually jillian was hilarious last nite...she cracked me up...her team had lost use of the gym and she was realising she may have to deal with outdoor she was so girly and dramatic going on about how she doesnt like sand and dirt etc lol Anyway i watched that and got all if i was sensible i woulda gone down stairs and put on one of her beginners dvds but noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo i had to throw on her cardio kickboxing lol and lasted a whole 7.5 minutes LOL I am planning to do the beginners front side one after weigh in tonite....and yes it is weigh in and yes i am going...fingers cross for a loss...any loss would be great !

This last week has really been kinda amazing. Its like the whole universe has been out there saying "look karyn look how well you are doing" making me acknowledge i am no longer 150+ kilos...i am the chick who can do a RPM class and survive it (and i will be doing gabbys class on saturday morning this week !), i am the girl who suddenly her hips are shrinking, whose fitness levels are increasing. Comparing weighing 138.5 kilos to 150+ kilos is a completely different place. I understand its only 10 kilos or so difference but to me its a huge difference...and it puts my perception of myself in a different place as well. And with that difference comes a happiness....and its a happiness with myself...that is reliant simply on ME. Its not reliant on someone wining and dining me....or on material possessions...or anything is the realisation that life is damn good...that i am proud of me...that I have so much going on and to look forward too and the realisation that all this good stuff i am getting is all because of life was chit and i dug myself out of that mite have taken quite a few years but i have done it...and weight loss is only one benefit of that...and of course i am not stopping now :)

As to felicity maybe she is J i dunno...i dunt think so but who knows...she did leave a nice comment under my photo in facebook and Leigh did tell me when felicity realised she would be late getting to the club friday nite that she messaged Leigh and said "look after kazz" so time will tell

Tania - the last wednesday in march works perfectly for lunch and a movie :) i have you all booked in ! hehe.

Okies since i am here at such a ungodly guess i should go do some work eh? Havefun all I will be back tomorrow with my weigh in results

Update : Friend from work josie who is married to another friend of mine sean (who is on my facebook) saw my pics on seans facebook...and just came over to me and said
"I saw your pics on facebook and you look beautiful, i knew you had lost weight but those pictures are amazing" hehehe how good is this?

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Thank you...

Firstly i have to say a big thank you to all the feedback regarding the pics not only to everyone who commented here but also my facebook and the ww forum =]

I am still amazed when i look at those pics. Leigh saw the pic of me from when i first started ww in 2006 the same one jody was referring to in her comments i will add it at the bottom of this post, anyway leigh sent me a text this morning that said "couldn't believe how you have changed" i have been quite honest with her about my weight loss n insecurities etc so was no big secret but from what she said she was a lil stunned lol

I went down the markets today picked up a bit of fresh fruit n veg. Its a bit of a dive of a market and gawd nothing decent there for lunch. I thought i could have a baked potato or something...they had 3 food shops...2 chinese stores selling fried chinese food and a bakery ! lawdie ! Needless to say i waited till i got home to eat lol

I have downloaded episode 7 of US biggest loser so will watch that tonite. Listened to jillians radio show last nite...her and that damn sexii voice...LOL

Someone mentioned a hula hoop on biggest loser ,,,, what a good idea...i mite go out and buy one for something extra to do between commercials.

I hae some pain in my hand which is making no sense to me....its on my right hand on the bit of your hand between your thumb and wrist. Its been sore since i woke saturday morning and i dont even know what that part of my hand is called to google it LOL, i am partly wondering if its somehow related to boxing...when i look at does appear very slightly swollen...hope its ok my tuesday nite when im back at the gym next.

Ok off to watch biggest loser...enjoy all

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Pic Update !

Okies so a quick photo update...the picture of me in the purple top was taken on my birthday on 30/12/08 the picture of me in the white top was taken last nite...ill let you all decide if you can see a difference ;)

Last Nite:

December 30, 2008:


Well last nite didnt turn out the way I hoped. I got home...and first drama could not find the hair colour i had i tore my house up trying to find it...wouldnt u know it...this morning i came downstairs and there it was in a bag on the kitchen sink grrrr yes me and Leigh did go out for dinner as FRIENDS was not a date or anything like that. We went to hogs breath cafe where i had a lite steak with no sauce and i trimmed off the small amount of fat on it, salad with no dressing and a plain baked potato Leigh had exactly the same except she had a dressing on her salad. Anyway was a really nice meal...we get along really well so just chatted and chit...she did ask me how things with felicity are...i told her i didnt know...that things have been strained but i was hopeful the night would help, i also explained more about why i told felicity and I think she gets that now too. Would u believe she also asked me why i never had any friends and I ended up telling her about my chat room addiction...i dunno why i told her that ! Anyway then she wanted to take her car back to her hotel and then catch a we went back to the hotel and yes to her room LOL but was completely innocent....she had a drink while there and we stood out on her balcony talking and then she showed me pics of the kids she fosters...was all rather nice. We then went to the club...and I must admit we perved lol we sat there going okay scan the room from here to here....whose hot? LOL anyway after a few more drinks felicity finally turned up...she said hi then turned her back on me which i thought was rude...but...yanno i think im just gonna suck it up and accept that the friendship just isnt there. I must admit i was pissed off at the i ended up leaving...sent leigh a text when i was halfway home saying id left didnt text done over and I said to Leigh last nite...i cant make someone be my friend. Anyway I was home and asleep by midnight which was good. Had a slight hangover this morning...had some raisin toast for breakfast and will have my weetbix for lunch and i feel all good now.

Woke this morning and was laying in bed and I noticed a pair of pants all nice folded in my wardrobe, these are pants i bought at katies not last christmas but the christmas before all this time they have NEVER come close to fitting i held them up and thought nah these will be too small...well holy moly ! They fit ! There is no elastic to them at all ! They are "proper" pants i am so impressed ! And so I have been strutting in them today at friends partner tony said..."look whose getting skinny" to me today ! OMG seriously despite the other shit u really cant knock the smile of my face at the moment hehe. I did take a photo before I left last nite...mite take one when i get home today too and then upload it lol. Everything else is good...I finish work at 5pm and then i am off tomorrow which i am looking forward too...mite even venture to the garden store....have a good day all !

Friday, February 20, 2009


YAY its friday ! Went to the gym last nite and did the PT boxing session which went so well ! had done a boxing session once before back in november....and fiona was like your fitness has increased so much last time we did this...she was like...last time we did this you needed to stop between each exercise and you got dizzy a lot...i was slightly dizzy towards the end but not enough to not finish the session so YAY she then told me its obvious im more confident out there (as in where the weights etc are) cos she said i was much more confident in the session just with me and her. So i think we can classify that as a NSV! (non scale victory for the uneducated lol)

So tonite i am going out and i am looking forward to it ! Spoke to robyn last nite and shes not going and i started to think oh chit will just be me with leigh and felicity (i havent seen them since the debacle) anyway i messaged felicity and she replied with the longest message she has for a while which made me feel good and that maybe ive been reading too mcuh into things. Anyway she said she wants to just get out and dance and have fun which sounds grand to me ! She will be a lil late but ill text leigh later to check what time she will be there...also Linda who I met at the speed dating nite is going and she said she is gonna look out for me too. THEN last nite jaimee rang me (she is str8) and i said im going out for a girls she may come for a lil while i am now EXCITED. Lets not mention that Ryan asked me to meet him at the mars bar at MIDNIGHT on saturday nite...holy moly im normally snoring by then hahahhaha but we will wait and see.

Oh and the good news is .... i was only 400 grams of what i was last weigh in day this morning ! limit of 3 glasses of champagne tonite and i will dance my lil butt off

Okies time to do some work before the fun stuff starts !

Update : texted leigh earlier...and she suggested we meet up before hand and get some she has booked us in to hogs breath for dinner...;)

Thursday, February 19, 2009

All going good !

Busy busy day today. I am working till 4.30pm (and we wont mention my bus didnt turn up and I was 15 minutes late to work ! argh!) then I need to scoot from work to the gym for my PT session of boxing YAY !!!! Then as it is pay day i then need to dash to the shops to do my grocery shopping HOPEFULLY...if they are running late at the gym shopping may need to wait till tomorrow after work but I will play it by ear. I'd prefer to get it done tonite as I am going out tomorrow night.

Funny how getting on track AND knowing i am going out tomorrow nite has put the "buzz" back into me (and all you from my facebook behave and no naughty comments about the BUZZ !!!) i really feel good...whilst I am glad i had that break from Leigh and felicity and going out maybe i didnt go out for a tad to long...i have that "happy happy" feeling inside me...which i am starting to realise when i dont focus on just one thing (such as online chit) that i am in a better frame of example is last nite....i got home from work...cooked dinner and ate....then went into the ww chat room for a short time...then went watched biggest loser...then went back up and chatted in the ww room for a bit more...then went and had a cool bath and settled down and watched L word....whilst yes not all these things are active (actually none are except for the running up the stairs to the bedrooms/shower lol) i am doing different things im not plopping myself in front of the tv for 4 hours at a time or something ridiculous like that. I am also thinking on my days off I need to not spend a entire day at home...its not uncommon for me on a few days off to not venture out of the house and of course that leads me to sitting in front of the computer. Now not saying i need to be out of the house for 10 hours or something so i have sunday off and i think i mite venture down to the junction markets...i will prolly only be out and about for a hour or two but its still breaking up the day, getting me out and about and LIVING. i havent been out to the junction markets for ages so should be interesting at the very least.

I just got a text that PT sessions are increasing in price from march 1 ! argh! So i pay for one session per week as part of my contract, and the second session i bought 10 weeks of with the plan to repitively do that...but the extra session is $410 for 10 weeks.....i cant really afford it to go up anymore so im going to ring them this arvo and see whether if i go on a new 12 month contract with 2 PT sessions if the price would be decisions decisions...but anyway off i go to do some work ! ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh and my scales dropped by another 700 grams this morning ! YAY

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Oh its wednesday...

My heel feels much better today so I think tonight I will try another walk but a shorter one just a 20 minute walk and see how my heel handles that. My right thigh is still hurting but thats a good hurt so it is all good. In the last 2 days I have dropped 900 grams but i am still 1.9 kilos over what I was...regardless what I weigh on monday nite i will be going back to ww and weighing in...

Have decided I am going to the girls nite on friday nite. Texted Leigh yesterday and her and felicity are going so i will meet up with them. Next decision is what to wear. I have some brand new jeans i havent worn yet which i will wear with my heels. I bought a new top a few weeks ago (actually from best n less) its a white t shirt...with a row of buttons on it prolyl doesnt sound that nice but it is rather i think i will just wear that with one of the necklaces my sister gave me for christmas (need some bling lol) Its going to be a rush nite...finish work at 4.30pm rush out to the shops and do the grocery shopping then home unpack it all...have dinner...shower do my make up n shit and then head out. I saved 4 points yesterday and half a point the day before...which does give me enough points for 3 glasses of champagne (which will be my limit as im working 9am the next day) but ill see how the scales are fairing by friday morning...i may skip the drinks and stick to diet coke.

Okies just about time to start some work....have a good day all =]

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Ouchie !

Well I am in pain ! Like all over ! okies enuff with the over heel hurts after last nites walk...the minute i got back last nite i could feel it hurting and it hasnt hurt for a few years :( i wont go for a walk today but if its ok ill try again tomorrow...if not i mite need to stick to cycling. My upper thighs are sore too everytime i sit down or stand up (so u can imagine what its like going to the loo! lol) so obviously those squats and lunges yesterday woke some muscles up. I am also finding i am really tired this week...not sure if its me still getting over the virus or if its TOM and losing some iron or what....ill wait till TOM finishes and then give myself a week or so and see how i feel. Apart from all my whinging i feel good haha ! Did stay under points yesterday which was the first day for about 6 days so a step in the right direction.

I am trying to decide about going out friday nite, my friends dev n dayne arent going cos they have a funeral in canberra to attend, i messaged felicity said are you going and do u wanna catch up...she is going and said she will see me there...Leigh i believe is also going (they are apparantly no longer talking) also linda a chick i met at speed dating as well as robyn i prolly will go...i do have to work the next it is tempting to not go...i will wait and see.

I had my leave for July approved so i am going over to streaky bay for Danielles 5th birthday...OMG @ she will be 5 years old...seems amazing ... but she did invite me when i was over last i will be looking forward to it. I really wanna be down to 120 kilos by then. Bit of a hard task but its doable. It would be so good catching that damn bus 20 kilos lighter or maybe i will even think of flying over. decisions decisions. I also have a week off at the end of march...which will be just a relaxing week at home mite use it to catch up with some of my friends who have kids so catching up on a weekend is a lil harder.

I am looking forward to thursdays PT first proper boxing session. I did one freebie PT sssion of boxing last year with fiona...and she thought i was really good at it that i picked up a lot of the combinations very easily (prolly from my dancing background) so im looking forward to building on that and of cours getting a hardcore cardio session in each week.

I am thinking with my bonus money uncle kev is getting us that i mite buy a wii. Its a wii or a sofa...i keep changing my mind. But the thought of getting a wii with jillians game is quite enticing...altho a new sofa would be wonderful too !

Not a lot else going on...time to get back to doing some work...enjoy your day all !

Monday, February 16, 2009

I so rawk today ! I am .5 under my 25 poins...i did my 30 minute PT session, 10 minutes of the biggest loser dvd and walked for 30 minutes ! OMG can we say back in the groove???? My only goal today was to come in under yay me...the extra exercise is a absolute bonus.

I have been listening to some of the music off jillians playlist...bands i had never heard of before but i have found some songs i love...her new playlist is out i think so this weekend i mite get it from itunes...

When I was at my PT session today it was trainer now realises when i am getting dizzy....we were doing a exercise and i was starting to feel giddy....and she said "is ur head alright?" n i told her yeh im feeling giddy....and she said it always seems to strike u when ive increased a weight...but we both watch them carefully and its not uncommon for me to sit down for a few minutes in my sessions altho i HATE doing that...i prefer to power thru the sessions and show her some girl power -rawr- but that doesnt happen too much hahahahha but she did say today when she increased one weight...that i underestimate what i can do...shes like im increasing it cos i know u can so handle it. ok dunno why i even did another post tonite hahhaa but there u go .... there it is ... maybe ill go to sleep n dream of hawt jillian and hawt gabby (what is it with me and these fitness women????? lol)

Cleavage sweat !

sweat on your tshirt between your boobs is not overly attractive is it? Well no it isnt but it felt damn good seeing it there during my session today. Fiona was realy impressed with me...all my weights went up she even noticed i am finding some exercises relatively easy now so she increased the difficulty on some. She said i am progressing really well. I knew going to the gym would get me back on track. I am doing a boxing session with her on thursday. I am a bit disappointed cos i still had burning on the soles of my gonna buy soem thick athletic socks and see if that helps....jaxx i recall u mentioning a brand ages ago? Hawt gabby was there today and she said "we missed u on saturday karyn" n fiona said i was sick...she then said do u live in prospect? I was like yeh....she was like i saw u walking i was on and saw u i was like yeh thats my street and she said yeh i have someone i train at their place on wednesday arvos....hmmm mite have to keep my eye open for her hahahahha.

Also got the ww magazine today...shortly i am gonna go downstairs and have a read of it...and on that note....i did something ive been saying im gonna do for ages,,,,i moved the laptop upstairs ! The living areas are all downstairs and so to use it...for one thing i have no tv in here and also i need to climb the stairs to come up and use it ... i am already noticing i am not sitting constantly in front of it. So a step in the right direction. Overall I feel much better today, okies off I go enjoy ur day all

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Deep breath

It is time to take a deep breath...

Why do we time and time again not do whats right for ourselves? Why does the lure of food catch me out so often...ummmm can we say laziness? Too lazy to lazy to walk down the shop and buy some fresh ingredients...too lazy to do so much. I have had 4 days now of being off track (that said yesterday i was good and today ive been not too bad) but not good enuff...I have FINALLY moved my mattress upstairs...and i feel so much better for it. (it exhausted the crap out of me tho lol) I am about to play in my fave daily gammon tourney (they play trivia with it) then i am going to go and pull out my ww folder and some recipe books and sit down and do some reading followed by cooking some dinner and watching biggest loser. The plan is then to water the plants and go for a walk...mite only be a 15 minute walk but i am going to go out !

I was talking to Leigh earlier and I suddenly said...I havent been out since my birthday (we went out january 2) she was like omg girl you need to get out ! And shes right i dunno what the attraction of sitting on my ass in my living room is. Tomorrow i am still deciding between body pump and the amazing abs class. Fiona thought id cope fine with body pump as long as i didnt judge myself against others and lose confidence in myself.

The thought of getting rid of my computer is there. I do wonder whether 12 months of not having a computer would help me. I could still track via a written journal and transfer the info to the ww site at work...i'd still be able to check emails and update the journal at work. I just really do wonder if it would be best to disconnect the DSL and give myself 12 months of getting focussed on to my life. Its a thought...not a definite thought but it is a thought.

Damn that TOM

oh beautiful that time of month has arrived....lucky me eh? Mite make a bit of sense why i was so hungry last few days but regardless..i am focused today. I have put on several kilos...part of this is prolly due to TOM and partly due to what I have been eating. I did drop 700 grams over night. So I am currently about 1.9 kilos over what I was last weigh in day. But in another few days it should have dropped significantly. I am not concerned about the last few days more i think about it its a combination of PMT and the fact i was sick. And i am so glad i worked yesterday...felt good being in the company of others (when u live alone one problem is when u do get sick....u are left to talk to the 4 walls and not much else lol) But I am starting the day really well boiling a egg as we speak, i am going to have low fat carbonara for dinner tonite. I am about to take some ponston so hopefully that will help with the period pain...and then if i start to feel better this afternoon i mite walk down to the junction markets. Not a lot else to off to play some gammon after ive eaten my egg AND my mattress i AM moving back upstairs today...have a good sunday all

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Back at work...for one day anyway lol

Well after 3 days of lying down and resting getting up and facing the real world today has knocked me around a bit. I stayed lying down till about 10.30am then got up to go have a shower and felt faint ugh...managed a shower...rested for 10 minutes then headed off...i still feel kinda woozy but i think thats from having spent 3 days lying down and also not eating great. I am getting back into it today altho taking it slowly (so no didnt go to the gym) i am guzzling water...had weetbix for breakfast and have a ww meal for lunch...for dinner i will make tacos. I then have the next 2 days off. Tomorrow I am planning to be active .... I will see how I feel but im aiming to slowly do a few bits and pieces around the house and then if i feel up to it in the afternoon i will test out the new gym shoes with a walk. Hopefully by monday i will be fine for my PT session.

I have decided to not go to weigh in on monday...i have gained...i know i have (ummm about 2.6 kilos!) i know im premenstrual...but i know its cos of my eating its a huge focus on this....and as im not going to the meeting monday nite...its on the proviso i go and do a extra session at the gym so im debating what to do monday....i ahve my PT session 11.30am i could go and rest for a hour and have some lunch and do a body pump class OR i could do PT and then go back in that nite and do the amazing abs class....decisions decisions hawt gabby does the body pump class so haha must say its tempting to do that one ! lol

Okies i am at work today so off i go to do some...enjoy ur day all

Friday, February 13, 2009

A few conclusions...

This is a post which will stay as a draft and not make it on to the journal. I have been watching oprahs webcast on "getting back on track" and they discussed something about whether you think your worthy of losing the weight. I think this really is a clincher for me, and not only do i wonder if im worthy to lose the weight but worthy of other things in my life (such as a relationship) now what they said was go back to your childhood cos this is when the "unworthy" thoughts would have been planted and while not blaming anyone work out why those seeds were planted. When i think about this i recall two things. One was that my mum often thought i was lying about things. An example I remember distinctly was over my hair. My hair is thick and has always grown really well (my eyebrows are a testament to that lol) anyway i remember this time mum noticed these shorter parts of my fringe...and mum said i had cut them, i knew darn well i hadnt but she wouldnt listen and there was no rational way of talking to her...she had made her mind up and that was thoughts, opinion and more importantly facts didnt count. I still have wispy bits that grow to this day. I truly think when i have had interactions like that it as prolly ingrained into me my thoughts/opinion dont count. And still till today i still put her feelings above mine...even if something really upsets me if bringing up the subject with mum means i mite hurt her feelings then i wont...i will simply try and bury that topic or ignore it or deal with it by myself. Why are her feelings more important then mine? Partly it prolly comes down to knowing my mum...knowing whatever she makes her mind up about thats it...theres no compromise or rational discussion. I still think that the fact I told her about what my uncle did the night of my dads funeral and her not believing what i told her just sealed this deal. It comes back to how she has often treated me...she thinks i have lied a lot of my childhood and doesnt seem to get that 90% of the time she accused me of lying i was telling the truth (we all know kids lie at some points and well i was no angel =]) she took away from me that ability of going to a parent and saying this happened and knowing that i would be believed, while she didnt trust me she took away my ability to trust and feel safe with her. No wonder by the time i was 17 i KNEW i would not end up in a relationship or married....i just knew id spend my adult years alone...if my mum couldnt trust me and believe me why would anyone else? And ultimately if i couldnt put that faith in mum the one who gave birth to me why would i in anyone else??? No wonder i turned to matter what it was always didnt accuse me of lying, it didnt love me any less for whatever mischief i got into, it was reliable and no matter what going on was always there to make me happy. You know what? She made mistakes she may not realise it or agree but there are many mistakes i feel she made and she made them NOT ME....theres no reason why i should continually abuse myself with the food. Food is no longer my friend, real people are my friends these days, its also time for me to accept my mum is human,,,,yeh she stuffed up....but she lives her life and i live mine...its time for me to control my life...and not let the food and mum control me. Its time for me to embrace this and all life has to offer....yeh there was many a shit years when i was a child living under my mums roof...but guess what i live under my roof now and i control it. I need to push myself even more....over the last 7 weeks or so i havent been friday nite there is a girls nite out at mojo west...i will be going,...i will have a huge smile on my face...i will have eaten well and exercised well all week and i will thrive in the company of my friends (who i have neglected a bit lately) I really need to focus even after i posted such a positive post last nite 5 minutes later i was sitting there thinking i need to make a decision....well ive made the decision....i dont want this life no more ! I want to be fit and healthy, i wanna be happy, i wanna be excited not about one thing in my life but about many, about my niece and nephews, about going out with friends, crushes on girls and maybe even the right one, going out dancing, feeling so exhausted from working out at the gym, catchng up with friends for dinners, movies what not, spending time in my lil garden....and just simply looking forward to the new life i am DETERMINED to build...cos its a life that only me and me only can create....just watch me do it.

BTW i decided to post this post....once i got typing i knew it was something i needed to put on the journal that i can read again in the future.

And one other thing my sister just pointed out to me, whilst mum didnt believe me she never allowed me or my sister to be in the situation where we were in my uncles company sister whole heartedly believes what i told mum had something to do with this decision...and i must admit hearing that and thinking about a good feeling that she did put that protection there.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Getting better !

Well apart from this throbbing headache i am feeling better this evening. I feel like i have much more energy and the eye weeping has all cleared up and i havent thrown up all day :) I still have some pineapple jelly i made earlier to eat and i have saved 3.5 points. I was quite impressed with myself so many people i get peckish some days at around today i was like hmmm wat do i have i thought i could have a nestles dark chocolate pudding for 2 points...but i knew darn well it wouldnt fill me i ended up boiling a egg. So only 1.5 points....i really love eggs and boiled is my fave way of having them (takes me back to my childhood in sydney lol) and so i had it and then didnt think about food till 5.30pm so that worked a treat.

I go back to work on saturday at first i was thinking ill go back to the gym on monday....but ive decided if im well enough for work im well enough for the gym! So as i promised gabby i would do the RPM class i will go in on saturday before work and do it. If my shoes feel fine on saturday i will test a walk on sunday. If icould start to manage long walks with no pain in my heels and soles would be a dream come true and really help fingers crossed the shoes help with that....if not i think a podiatrist appointment will be in order.

I ate a cherry tomato off my plant today ! So yummy and fresh tasting, i was looking at the yates site earlier...and lettuce can be planted at the thats what ill get next prolly in a week or so, i was at the garden store on tuesday but they had no lettuce except rocket but that mite be related to the heat so ill try again in a week or two (they didnt have a lot of seedlings) SInce I have bought the chilli plant home too it seems to be going well too.

Have a good nite all !

Back on track....

Well back on track plan is to come under points by 3 for the next 3 days....I feel very refocused this afternoon. Even been starting to think when I get under 100 kilos I mite look at doing a certificate III in fitness....have read up a bit on it...and it would be a great way to maintain my weight loss once i have attained it.

Slept last nite from 10.30pm-9.30am i am starting to feel better but earlier did have flashing lights when trying to focus so i may be about to get a migraine :( I have downloaded jillians last 2 radio shows so if it does turn into a migraine....gonna close the blinds lie down and listen to her hawt sexy voice...ummmm i mean listen to her advice !

Im keen to see tonites biggest loser to see whats going on with amanda....they are saying on the add something bad happens to her and they show a ambulance i hope shes ok and not leaving the show cos of a health issue =[

Okies off i go enjoy all =]

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Less then 24 hours...

...thats all its taken me to take about 5 steps backwards, let me explain. Last nite I logged in to chat I still go in there several times per week but cos i get bored i never stay long. Anyway when I was in there a friend messaged me and said guess who was in chat under a name you don't know? I'm like who? shes like are you ready for this? ready? Im like yeh....and shes like....tash....who is tash? Tash I have known for about 9 years online shes a pom and several years ago 2 or 3 years ago we got close back in the days when i lived online still....we were close....and we both liked each other and cos we did yet i wouldnt let anything led to a lot of frustration she ended up disappearing from chat and i havent spoken to her for years. So what happens? Yep i stayed logged into chat last nite....i left the computer on over night (something i dont do anymore) now I dont know if its related or not but i woke feeling sick....throbbing eyes are aching and i feel so tired...anyway so this morning who comes online? Yep tash....we ended up talking for about 3 that time I ate...I didnt track...I ate whatever took my fancy...and this is how bad i was i heated up steggles chicken breast fillets for breakfast ! I have eaten healthy breakfast for months...

She then went offline and went to sleep...i still left myself in chat and went and laid down,...i KNOW that in the blink of an eye i could slip back into my old ways and that a huge wake up call...right now it would be quite easy to fall into my old ways and i think cos im not well its hard to just click myself out of it....i have logged out of the chat program now. Yesterday I was ou walking and visiting the garden store and buying gym shoes and then wtf happened? I even didnt go to the gym last nite cos the computer was tempted i can hear jody saying these online girls always mess your head up and they do ! I know that....I know that chat program is a addiction and not healthy for me. The other thing is ive barely been into pink sofa....something that can give me the real life ! I feel attrocious for the food ive eaten today and really sluggish right at the moment and i know thats not 100% cos i am sick I need to get my head straight. As to why I am posting this? Not for anyone to say oh its ok kazz you will pick yourself up...nor to worry anyone that I am about to give up on all of this....but I need to be honest with ME I have binge eaten and eaten away from others most of my life and i need to be honest with myself...for myself and not for anyone else. I will come back later tonite to just write about how I am feeling I think its important today


Well as I said I am back...I went to the docs I have a virus and am off work till saturday...I will give the gym a break till monday part of this virus is i just feel exhausted...well I just threw up a lil...not sure if its the processed foods ive eaten today (quite likely) or this virus...but hah that was obviously disgusting.

I think what I need to get thru my thick head is this is the next step...this is more then doable....and I have the ability to do it...I'm 200 grams of my lowest in 5 years and i know thats part of it...i need to rest over the next few days and get over this virus an then as of sunday get into things. Sunday i will walk or go swimming....monday i have a PT session...when i wake tomorrow...its a good healthy breakfast and sticking to the points and just resting heads screwed on a bit better now...heres to tomorrow people =]

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

YaY New shoes !

Another good day....dropped around mums and grabbed my phone then the PLAN was to go to the hairdressers (didn't make it there lol) i stopped at sports locker,...asked them if they sold the shoes athletes foot had recommended for me...and not only did they....but they had 25% off ! so $170 shoes i got for $127. So decided on the shoes instead of the hair lol my hair can wait till next week lol. I am wrapped with them they feel so light on compared to my old ones..i am keen to try them out tomorrow...the soles of my feet burn after 15 minutes on the treadmill so hopefully that will improve. Then i walked home and stopped at the garden store....bought a bird feeder and a chilli plant. So a good day all round and this evening I am doing a spot of washing with some relaxing before I head off to work again tomorrow...have a good nite all =]

Monday, February 09, 2009

Good news....

Well today has been a lovely day ! Woke early, played a game of gammon then headed into the gym, walked ina nd nikki was on the desk and was like how did u go at rpm on saturday? Then i was on the treadmill ( which i did for 20 minutes and kept my hear rate between 135 and 142 which my 85% is 152 so i didnt think that was bad. Anyway while i was walking on the treadmill gabby (who ran the RPM class) came over and asked me how i pulled up....i told her about my sore tail bone lol she thinks i may have bruised it....but i did say i will be back on saturday then when i was working out with fiona gabby yelled out "did karyn tell u she did RPM last saturday and she is doing it again this saturday?" lol it was really quite good how encouraging they all were. I also told fiona i wanna push myself more with the exercise and she got very excited when i told her i'd signed up for a second PT session....and we agreed to do boxing for it.

I then went home....had subway for lunch then went up the shops and bought a bathing suit ! OMG YES I DID !!!! SO when i wake tomorrow i am ringing the local pool if thye have a aqua aerobics class in the morning i will do a class if not i will just go for a swim. I wont do laps or anything .... more use it as incidental exercise...ive always liked being in the water iremember as a kid me and my sister being in the local pool doing somersaults and handstands and what not. Last time i went to a pool i was very scared of slipping getting in and out of the pool but hopefully now ive lost weight i will feel better about that. I then went to the beautician got the brows waxed and the nails done. The nails look ok...but the colour she put on is like a thick light pink...i prolly should have just got a clear one this colour is a lil funny.

Then went over to mums for a while and then to weight watchers and I was wrapped with the result. It was only 4 days since my last weigh in, i was wearing 3/4 jeans instead of cotton pants and i went from a morning to a evening meeting and I stayed the same....i was half expecting to go up as much as a kilo so the fact i still have no plus sign on my lil book is great....but look out next monday. When i walked in alison the leader came over to me and said are you still going to tuesday morning meetings? I explained i had been going to the city and was transferring and then she said to me ..... you can tell in your face you have yay yay and im glad i have a leader i already know.

Okies just watching the end of underbelly then off to sleep....have a good tomorrow all !
YaY 2 days off. Weighed myself this morning and i have lost 500 grams since last wednesday but by the time i weigh in tonite i think i will show a gain of at least 300 grams and whilst i wish i wasnt going to have a 300 gram gain i will suck it up knowing its simply the fact im weighing in the evening...hopefully it is only a 300 gram gain. I am really excited tho to think i will be going to the same meeting week in and week out.

This morning I am off for my PT session then heading home and gonna relax and watch a lil day time tv...and then off for my eyebrow wax and manicure ooooh la first manicure ever !

Anyway i will be back later tonite or tomorrow with my weigh in results

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Its my friday,,,altho its sunday,,,

I work today (till 8pm) and then have the next two days off. Must admit i am concerned about weighing in tomorrow nite...i am going from morning to evening weigh ins and its only been 4 days since my last weigh in...i dont even care if i stay the same,,,,and yanno if i gain,,,i gain,,,,i know its not a real gain its cos of the change in weigh in times...and i know ive lost by my scales (altho only around 300 grams) but as the saying has been lately its just a case of "suck it up princess" and getting on with the job at hand.

Tomorrow i have a PT session....and normally i am suppose to warm up for 10 minutes and then we do the session,,,,but lately ive only been doing a couple of minutes before we start using the theory "i dont wanna tire myself out before the session" LOL but tomorrow i am going in 30 minutes early and i will hit that treadmill hard for 20 minutes and the last 10 i will slow the pace a lil so im not a puffed out freak when we start.

I was really sore last friggin tail bone was severely hurting me. But seems fine today, my arms and legs are tired but not painful so im thinking thats all a good thing.

I think I mentioned I bought michelle bridges book? I really recommend it....ive read all the books...bob greene...jillian michaels...dr phil etc etc but this one especially the emotional stuff (and theres several chapters on this) some of this really hit home with me.

My lil edible garden is doing very good! I have one cherry tomato ready to pick - yes ONE! LOL theres another 2 that should be ready in a few i have a feeling roasted cherry tomatos will be happening this week sometime. The cherry tomato plant has grown, 2 of the mixed capsicum plants has grown real well too (and has some flowers on it) and the strawberry plant is thickening up a lot too. Over m next two days im planning at some stage to go back to the gardden store. I wanna buy a birdfeeder....they had lil ones u hang up all rustic loooking made with twigs and i bought small wild bird seed the other id like to plant a few more different plants so maybe tuesday morning i will do that.

I am noticing especially over the last few weeks im not on the puter as much. Last nite came home....cook scrambled egg on toast....had a nice shower then watched the movie "knocked up" it was really a very cute movie not exactly what i expected but i liked it all the same.

I just watched episode 4 of the US's current biggest some ways i like there shows better...they had a chef come on it (who was a aussie !) and showed them some different ways to cook chicken and shows bob harper talking to them a lot about different foods...the other interesting thing is they are all mostly bigger then the australian contestents but they dont seem to "play the game" they all work as a team...and usually when they eliminate so far they have based it on who needs to be there the most.

I will miss most of the aussie one tonite (altho ill have the tv at work on but volume will be down and well customers mite dare to interrupt my viewing - the nerve of them !) then i will race home and hopefully see the last 10 minutes of it.

Okies gonna go chill for a bit before heading to work....enjoy your sunday all =]

Saturday, February 07, 2009


Well i did it ! I went to RPM....and it wasnt as bad as I thought

I was really worried that cardio wise i wouldnt keep up but i was pretty impressed with me :) I went into the class early and gabby the trainer (who yes is hot !) helped me set up my bike...BUT she put me right at the front of the class went for 45 minutes...and the most problematic thing about it was the bike hurt my think i need super duper padded undies hahahhaha lol But it was fine altho after it i really just wanted to take a nap. I also signed up for 10 weeks of boxing personal training they will start this week YaY. The bonus too is i earned a whopping 4.5 points today too in exercise points :)

I finally have 2 days off after tomorrow...Monday I have a PT session and then in the afternoon im going to get a manciure and my eyebrows waxed and then i will go see mum for a bit then weight watchers meeting. Tuesday I have a hair appointment to be cut and coloured..and then tuesday nite planning to go do body its real action jackson now !

Have a good day all

Friday, February 06, 2009


OKies yes it is second post for the day but this is something i need to get out of my head and onto paper. OKIes...The weight I am now...(minus another 200 grams) is the lowest I have been in about 5 years. In 2007 i got down to here and then lost the plot...and i was thinking about that and ive come to some conclusions. Now i started at 170.9 (actually my very highest by my doctors scales was 173.1) i was truly the fat girl...and not only was i the fat girl but i was a extreme. You go on the ww forums and there is LOTS of girls who are around 100-140 kilos...but the number over 150 kilos is decidedly smaller. I recall I would look at girls with their stats in their profiles that say similar numbers to my current weight....and they seemed so "normal" they seemed so small compared to suddenly i am there....and i realised when talking to my boss at work today telling her i am planning to do RPM class tomorrow and she said to me "your really getting into it now arent u?" and i 30 kilos down...the thought of doing a class that includes cardio workout is no longer so scary...doesnt mean i will excel in fact i am sure i will struggle....but i think i am at a weight now or close to a weight where i feel i can belong to those classes....where im not thinking people are gonna wonder how on earth the fat girl thinks she can handle that class. I am not the huge freak that gets puffed out going to the letter box....whose heels hurt her cos of her weight....who has fluid retention cos of her weight....i even looked at my shoulders and bust area today and i dont look huge...i may not be skinny...but im getting closer to looking normal where i wouldnt stand out in a crowd, as i am so hippy its not the same for my hips and legs of course but we will get there....cos parts of me are starting to look normal. And all of things are huge realisations maybe back in 2007 i wasnt ready to be normal? I said to mary today i am going to start doing pump and RPM classes....cos i want a hawt body...OMG who is overtaking my mouth? I am suddenly letting people see what i want...regardless of the risks and whether i fail or not (but i KNOW i wont fail) i am suddenly starting to see me in a different light...and its a wonderful positive feeling.

I had a compliment today too....joe said to me...."princess the other day your pantaloons were looking rather messy" i was like....whatcha talking about? He was like they are so friggin baggy on you these days ! LOL and then mary said....when you were your older clothes you can really tell you've lost weight.

ALsoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo our roster has changed at work a lil and it means i can now attend the ww meeting at broadview at 7pm 6 outof 7 weeks ! It will mean changing from a morning to a evening meeting and will also mean this week will only be 4 days (so wont be much of a loss this week) but i think its great news and so will transfer my membership to their meeting.

okies thats all my news...low fat carbonara for dinner tonite...yum yum !

Soooooooooooo motivated!

I feel very motivated at the moment ! I bought michelle from biggest losers book last nite called "crunch time" and its soooooooooo motivating...the first part talks about emotional issues etc with exercises etc which i have been doing but she also sets out a 12 week exercise program and she tells u what gym classes to do to work it all in so Ive come to the decision that tomorrow i am signing up for a additional PT session which will be boxing for 10 weeks. So i will do my resistance training with fiona one day, my boxing another day with her, one day per week a pump class, one day a week body balance and the other 2 days i will do my beginners biggest loser dvd or RPM class. I have decided to bite the bullet and before work tomorrow i am going in to try a RPM class then monday i have my resistance session with fiona. What I need to remember too since I am about to increase this increase is that my losses may slow down a bit but thats okay cos i want a hot body ! LOL and if this is what I need to do so be it.

Everything else is going well....was suppose to work 7am-3pm tomorrow and saturday but someone wanted to swap and so now I am working noon-8pm so i get to catch up on a lil sleep...especially on sunday morning.

Anyway not much else to say....have a good day all !

Thursday, February 05, 2009

One day off is never enough...

Back to work today...having only one day off really sucks...especially when all the starts are at 7am...but yes here i am again lol lucky me

I had the yummiest lunch yesterday not sure if i put it in yesterdays post or not...but it was chicken pieces sprinkled with cajun seasoning, (3 points), 1 egg boiled and sliced (1.5 points), 20 grams of pasta (2 points), ceaser sauce (1 point)...and mixed it all togethe was soooooooooooooooo damn yummi !

Funny how when things start to go right your perception of stuff just totally changes. A few weeks ago i was in one of my funks...deciding i am over women dont wanna put myself at risk of being hurt...and thinking this is my lot in life...just accept it. But then i got thinking to several years ago...when i dreamed about having friends to go on nites out with....back then it was a dream...i wasnt happy enuff with myself to take the steps to meet people...i have done that now...i have those while having a girlfriend etc may seem like a "dream" those dreams have come true before so there is always the chance they would come true again...sure i may meet someone and it not work out and i may be miserable for a few weeks or maybe even months....but it really is worth that risk for that chance at ultimate happiness. By saying thats it not getting involved with was only hurting me...i think in a sense i felt like that thinking this will teach leigh...but as if anyone else cares if i am or arent in a i know only too well the only person who can control my happiness is ME.

Shopping nite tonite...which means a treat of yiros for dinner ! yum yum ! Have a good day all

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

YAY its a good day !

So for anyone who isnt on my facebook...i lost 1.3 kilos =] i was very happy about that...that takes me to 12.3 kilos since december 15 and 32.4 kilos altogether...and I am now getting close to severalgod things...2.7 kilos and i will have my 10% since rejoinging in december...2.6 kilos till i reach 35 kilos...and 3.5 kilos till im at 135 kilos and of course only 300 grams till im at my lowest in 2 years ! YAY i feel so on convinced that i am going to see this through and so focused on my goals for this year...i have 6.5 kilos to lose between now and 28th march to reach m goal of 132 kilos which i wanna reach by Robyns birthday party. 39.5 kilos to be under 100 OMFG under 40 kilos to lose to get there...! So much is in my grasp at the moment it isnt funny !

Was talking to leigh last nite and she was saying how she has culled a lot of her friends recently....and i said..i never use to have any friends...and she was like "im in shock" and i asked why? And she said cos ur such a friendly gal. Isn't it weird how our perception of ourselves is just so different? I dont see me that way....i still see me as the wall flower....the "fat girl" whose a outcase but is invited along to make up numbers or something...yet i have had several people tell me they see me as friendly...and popular. Thats such a hard concept cos i just dont get it...but its part of the journey i guess

On the 22nd i have a girls nite at the mojo popped into katies today cos i need a new top...i have new jeans to wear YAY found them in the cupboard tried them on a few weeks ago and they slide right on me (may be a lil looser now) still with tags on em anyway i saw a couple of tops i liked so next week when i go to the gym ill pop in and buy one.

I am downloading the US versions of biggest loser ! They are currently doing a couples series too and series one is ready for me to also downloading series 3 and 5 so lots of good motivational viewing coming my way !

Tuesday, February 03, 2009


ahhhh its finally starting to get a lil cooler. Walking to the bus stop at 6.15am this morning was rather nice. Had another good day yesterday...saved another 3.5 points so i think i have well and truly made up for that picking of food on friday. I weighed myself this morning and they are heading in the right direction hopefully i will lose 500 grams this week...weigh in tomorrow so fingers crossed. I have the day off and apart from going to weight watchers will be doing bloody nothing (lazy eh? lol)

I am wearing another one of my size 22 tops today....YAY

Oh last nite i was laying there thinking...i must be getting close to the lowest since 2006....i went thru my journal and my lowest was i am only 1.5 kilos of that !!!! hooorah !!! ANd after tomorrows weigh in hopefully even closer !

Monday, February 02, 2009

On track

Good morning all. Nice early start for me today...had to be at work at 7am ! Buts its 11.15am and i am halfway thru my day YAY. Yesterday I saved 2.5 the last two days ive saved 6 points which i reckon makes up for fridays eating lol. Tonight i have a PT session at 5.30pm then gonna home and after biggest loser will make spaghetti bolognaise....and speaking of biggest loser wasnt it great? I loved that nothing about it seems the same so far as last year...i think the 2 boys who are brothers are gonna be a force to be reckoned with....and the lady who was the biggest and was saying her life is out of control i think she will have a very interesting journey.

This morning i weighed and the scales seem to be going in the right direction..regardless i know im doing good...i even drank 3 litres of water yesterday, and amazingly even tho i had to be up at 5.30am this out of bed very easily. So far today ive drunk 1.8 litres and am partway thru another 600 mls and will drink another 600mls at the gym tonite which will see me at 3 litres.

When getting dressed this morning i noticed a size 22 top i bought that still has its tags on that hasnt been fitting me (im in size 24's) anyway thought ill try it on and wo0ot it fits me...i only tried it on last week and was still too tight...its firm fitting but definitely SO impressed ! I have another top same style and size different i am slowly getting there

Watched episode 2 of L word for series 6 after biggest loser and OMFG was SOOOOOOOOOOO good ! so unbelievably good...hopefully i can download episode 3 tonite....wo0ot !

Okies off to do some work,,,,have a good day all

Sunday, February 01, 2009

TA DA Its sunday...

Back at work today...we were busy this morning but seems to be quiet now...lets hope it stays that way. Yesterday i managed to save 3.5 points and that included a day where i had a bertie beetle ! LOL i was very impressed....and so far today spot on too...have had lunch and have only used 8.5 points...tonite i am making my tuna pasta and am planning to save 3.5 points tonite too...that should get me well and truly back on track to aim for a loss this week. So far today i have also drunk 1.5 litres of water, and will fill up my 750 ml bottle again during my next break.

Downloaded Jillians radio show last nite and listened to that before bed. I always find it interesting...she was saying that will power she believes can be a learned trait by living in the moment...was rather interesting...and that damn sexii voice of hers yum yum

Tomorrow i am working 7am-3pm then after work i am going to the gym to do a class followed by a PT session.

I had the strangest dream last nite...dreamt i was going on a cruise which left from sydney but to get there we had to first fly to sudan (like wtf????) then fly back to campbelltown then sydney hahahahha omg it WAS a crazy dream people !

As to your comments Tania....yeh ur prolly right....and to be honest i dont wanna go thru again and again being hurt yeh i know u gotta take a risk etc etc and maybe in a weeks time or 3 months time or 6 months time i will be willing to take the risk but certainly at the moment its not something i am interested in.

Oh and biggest loser is back on tonite ! Can't wait !