OKies yes it is second post for the day but this is something i need to get out of my head and onto paper. OKIes...The weight I am now...(minus another 200 grams) is the lowest I have been in about 5 years. In 2007 i got down to here and then lost the plot...and i was thinking about that and ive come to some conclusions. Now i started at 170.9 (actually my very highest by my doctors scales was 173.1) i was truly the fat girl...and not only was i the fat girl but i was a extreme. You go on the ww forums and there is LOTS of girls who are around 100-140 kilos...but the number over 150 kilos is decidedly smaller. I recall I would look at girls with their stats in their profiles that say similar numbers to my current weight....and they seemed so "normal" they seemed so small compared to me...now suddenly i am there....and i realised when talking to my boss at work today telling her i am planning to do RPM class tomorrow and she said to me "your really getting into it now arent u?" and i realised...im 30 kilos down...the thought of doing a class that includes cardio workout is no longer so scary...doesnt mean i will excel in fact i am sure i will struggle....but i think i am at a weight now or close to a weight where i feel i can belong to those classes....where im not thinking people are gonna wonder how on earth the fat girl thinks she can handle that class. I am not the huge freak that gets puffed out going to the letter box....whose heels hurt her cos of her weight....who has fluid retention cos of her weight....i even looked at my shoulders and bust area today and thought...wow i dont look huge...i may not be skinny...but im getting closer to looking normal where i wouldnt stand out in a crowd, as i am so hippy its not the same for my hips and legs of course but we will get there....cos parts of me are starting to look normal. And all of things are huge realisations maybe back in 2007 i wasnt ready to be normal? I said to mary today i am going to start doing pump and RPM classes....cos i want a hawt body...OMG who is overtaking my mouth? I am suddenly letting people see what i want...regardless of the risks and whether i fail or not (but i KNOW i wont fail) i am suddenly starting to see me in a different light...and its a wonderful positive feeling.
I had a compliment today too....joe said to me...."princess the other day your pantaloons were looking rather messy" i was like....whatcha talking about? He was like they are so friggin baggy on you these days ! LOL and then mary said....when you were your older clothes you can really tell you've lost weight.
ALsoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo our roster has changed at work a lil and it means i can now attend the ww meeting at broadview at 7pm 6 outof 7 weeks ! It will mean changing from a morning to a evening meeting and will also mean this week will only be 4 days (so wont be much of a loss this week) but i think its great news and so will transfer my membership to their meeting.
okies thats all my news...low fat carbonara for dinner tonite...yum yum !