Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Where I am at :)

So I am in a much better frame of mind :) I decided to stick to 1800 calories. Yesterday morning tania messaged me to catch up for dinner...and THEN i found out work was putting on a free lunch (soft tacos or hamburger and fries) I opted for a sandwich since I was going out. When I went for dinner....I did look at getting a chicken dish but they were pretty much all with a cream sauce...I ended up getting a hamburger...which was HUGE.. so definite dose of iron got into my system (which never hurts me since my iron stores are so ridiculously low) also came with hot chips....must admit I ate 4 of those chips...but the rest i left...but considering how my mindset has been the last few weeks I was impressed with that.

I had really got into a "this is too much effort" kinda mind set. But catching up with Tania for dinner really helped. I talked about how I suck at group things and how the military miss wasnt really suitable for my personality...and I just felt better talking to someone who got what I was saying.

Ive always been very "im not interested in competing...the only competition is with myself). We discussed our sydney trip in 3 weeks time...I think spending 4 days together will be good we will rub off on each other and motivate each other more...we are definitely planning for the odd treat (like Lindt Cafe) but both definitely wanna stay on track and we are planning.

Tomorrow I am going in for a food coaching session. I need to get back completely on track with a plan.....Im just one of those people who need a plan! LOL...hopefully between now and early next week...I will work this all out for my nutrition and exercise.

So when I got on the scales this morning...they said 118.6 the time I go to Sydney on August 21 I want that to be under no massive losses needed but about 600 grams per week would work nice. :)

Monday, July 27, 2015

This week...

So at about 4.45am this morning I woke with the sorest stomach. I was back to feeling how I felt constantly late last year. I knew the sore stomach was those gall stones....and I had a horrible taste in my mouth was from reflux :( So anyway...not able to sleep cos i couldnt get comfy with the pain...led to me being grumpy today! lol

Anyway, it got me really thinking about my relationship with food. As I have said before you dont get to 173 kilos with a healthy relationship with food...its a unhealthy one that does that. And so right now thats my main focus. I jumped on the scales this morning and they were 118.8 up 900 grams from weigh in day...but honestly I am not even going to think about weight loss at the moment. My only focus is to stop the cycle I seem to have got on. I will weigh in this week and no doubt have a gain...but thats not my concern is breaking the cycle....getting back to a happy place with the weight loss journey. So while I debated doing calorie cycling this week...because I was worried about gaining...Im not going too cos I think eating a constant 1800 calories this week will get me back on a equilibrium (is that how you spell that word?)

So like I said yesterday....just gonna focus on being under the calories (so 1800) im not even gonna focus on carbs vs protein....or sodium....just eating within my calories.....once I accomplish that....I can start to cut back on things again. And well if i manage to lose on 1800? Well good for me LOL....but im not going to focus on it.

I should have done PT today but my stomach still didnt feel great...and I felt "heavy"....I do have to go in for weigh in on thursday....but im going to have a week off from the gym. Focus solely on getting enough sleep...and getting into a happier place...then monday next week I will be back at the gym for exercise. People may think this is the wrong way to do things...but for me...its honestly the right way...I take too much of other peoples thoughts on...something I really need to stop doing. I sat there last night just reading forums, checking out weight loss calculators etc and it just made me worse! So just focus on foods I enjoy (and I have my home made crustless quiche cooking in the oven as we speak) and sticking to my calories...surely thats not too hard for the week!

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Taking a deep breathe....

UGH! One of the ways where you can tell I am struggling is when my posts become regular I am trying to figure things out...and when i start to get off track all i freaking do is google and look at fat loss calculators etc etc.

So I guess the thing that is so blatently clear to me now lol is that challenges really dont work for me. Im not sure if its having to follow set meal plan, or if its fear of failure or what but i always kinda suck at them! lol

I was initially thinking go back to eating 1800 calories for a few weeks...cos to be honest i kinda forgot where my calories had been in the weeks leading up to the military miss...somewhere in the 1400 to 1600 range i think. I mentioned doing this to my food coach and she pointed out I may gain weight (which I prolly already have lol) but i dug out the old calorie cycling i was following in april 2010...which i was around this its:

saturday : 2000
sunday : 1400
monday : 1700
tuesday : 1400
wednesday : 1300
thursday : 1500
friday :1200

For this coming week all i am going to focus on is staying under the calories for each day. I am going to eat foods i enjoy and just focus on sustainability. A couple of rules I followed on previous weight loss attempts i will still follow too...watching my sodium (i wish i didnt have too but for me its really important) and also no grains at dinner time. Im not even gonna stress about going to the gym much...i will go in tomorrow for PT and then thursday morning to weigh in. I think part of this issue has been tiredness. I really noticed last week on tuesday...the day before i had done a hour PT and a 45 minute body balance class....and was just physically exhausted. I do now for me exercise is super important...but honestly i think 1200 calories at my weight isnt what i need.

Usually whenever I post something like this i get a lot of "don't give up messages" im not giving up at all. Am i a bit frustrated? sure. I feel like ive tried every calorie level imaginable...and yes i have got losses....and any loss is a good loss...but for the amount of weight i have to eat i should be losing more. And then of course ive lost the plot over the last 10 days or so and some of those kilos are gained back. My own doing.

Realistically at the moment....a week or so of just sticking to calories...and then i will start to focus on my macros...especially my protein levels. I feel before my carbs were too high and protein too low....possibly eating at 1400-1500 cals with the right balance of macros....and the weight loss might start happening. I think in a few weeks time then I can start to think more about exercise. I do think when it comes to exercise i need something more a progressive program...and ideally in my mind a weight program followed by 30 minutes of cardio per day would work good....problem is whenever i look at usually has some exercises with equipment I dont have access too...the other option is too throw myself into Group fitness problem with that is that most cardio ones i wont do....combat i wont do cos i fall....attack i am not fit enough for...and boxing isnt on at suitable times. Which would leave RPM (i can do rpm only so many times...its a lil repitive), and maybe body jam (which i have done about twice in my lifetime! lol) i dont do zumba cos its hard on my knees with the sharp changes of direction. Which is why i feel a individual program would work better...

Altho...that said...i am starting a 3rd PT session per week monday, tuesday, and fridays will be PT and i could do 30 minutes of cardio after. Once i am back with weekends off i could do pump and balance on saturdays. Which just leaves wednesday and thursdays free to do whatever.

Anyway i will think about that more next week! LOL

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Better day.

I am feeling better today...I started to realise I was falling into a old trap of mine.

Through out my whole life i have had a habit of running when things get hard...the whole thought process of "better to pull out then fail". Maybe I am not the right personality for challenges? I am sure some people thrive on them...but not me.

But yanno this isnt about a 6 week challenge for me....ive got a full 12-18 months before I will be at goal. So im gonna utilise the military miss the way it works best for need to be the best performer...I will continue to try their meals (cos i am definitely finding some yummy things to eat!)...exercise as I can (and I really think i need to apply myself more to classes) the boot camp sessions i can make it....and if i am the slowest or worse or whatever so be it....its not about how I perform in that 45 minute session...its about getting to goal and living a healthier life and not killing myself with bad food and little activity.

Im also thinking that maybe getting a you tube channel up and running would be helpful. I could talk about my shit into it...I could use it as ways to track my progress...and maybe others would get motivated by it as well. We will see!

I do know I do need new workout shoes...mine have a whole in them....doesnt even feel like i got them that long ago! (at $200 a pop) but might have to suck it up this week and go buy another pair.

Not much else going on enjoy all :)

Friday, July 24, 2015

Days recap....

So today hasnt been the best food day. Not the worst...just had some pieces of fruit toast I shouldnt have had. I feel like this week I have got into a bit of a cycle like the old first things first I need to stop this cycle.

So tomorrow I am eating 1470 calories...baseing it off the military miss eating plan. Just changing it a lil. Ive plugged in tomorrows food...and it comes out at 1390 calories...with a whopping 181 grams of protein and the sodium is under 2000. One thing I have noticed with this meal plan is some meals are quite high in sodium. So while i didnt initially track my calories in MFP i think its important i do that....and if a meal is too high in sodium then swap it out. That said i am finding some good snacks and meals....i made some vegie chilli balls which were made with brocolli and cauliflower which i really liked. And a coconut chicken curry dish was yummo. So those two are things I am definitely keeping in my eating. For 3 of the vegie balls it works out to 211 calories...27 grams of carbs and 7 grams of protein..but its a good way for me to get some extra vegies in.

I need to focus on my exercise a bit more this week...not as in do more...but not beat myself up so much about the exercise. I am not a athlete...I will never be a athlete...I sucked at athletic type things as a kid lil own then reaching 173 kilos...which i know...has impacted my mobility. Yes its good that I do what I do....but in my opinion i am still limited....from fear of falling...too...things like hamstrings being too simply not being able to do things! lol Its one of the reasons i love PT...i work at my level...and i am doing a exercise that no one else is i just do my best and its all good...but being in a group setting and ur the slowest or whatever i think it is hard not to beat urself up over that,,,,which i am going to work on.

Im also really sore on the back of my leg at the moment....behind the knee...not even sure why! Its been sore for about 3 days....hopefully it will settle down over the next few days.

Not much else going on....enjoy all!

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Military Miss Update

So thought it was time for a Military Miss update...but before that...weigh in :( I gained 1.7 kilos...not as bad as I expected in all honesty...but it is what it is. So at the start of Military Miss I was 119.6 kilos.

As of this morning I am down to 117.9 kilos. This week the weight has steadily been moving down.

So how has it going? Its been interesting ;)

The food side of things has been really good. Im definitely eating more vegetables, and I am discovering some new foods and recipes, which in all honesty is probably going to be the biggest takeaway from all of this for me! The calories are 1200 and the macro break up seems to be 35% for carbs and protein and 30% for fat...Im glad I have figured that out...cos even if my calories go up a lil (and they might) I want to keep those macros cos it seems to be working.

Exercise wise I think what I have learnt this week is I really need to balance this out. Monday I did a hour of PT then later that day I went in and did body balance....and then tuesday I was just exhausted! When I lost the weight before as most readers know I was a bit of a exercise junkie....and I still have that mindset. I always have that sense of "i am not doing enough" but I also need to rest...and also need to spending time preparing food....and also time to give my brain a breather...have that mental rest.

This week I did....1 hour of PT, 45 minutes body balance, 45 minutes bootcamp, 30 minutes my own workout and 20 minutes of military miss workout...not a bad effort over 4 days. Tomorrow night I am planning to do body pump.

I think the most obvious thing to how I feel about myself when it comes to exercise.Ive never been a athletic person and never will be. Lets be honest, I exercise for weight loss....not for the enjoyment of it lol. So we did a beep test at bootcamp....let me say I didnt even get to level 2 LOL. And while I realise its just a starting point....i cannot imagine it improving in 6 weeks....Im certainly not a runner ;) We also are suppose to set a fitness goal...argh....I got no idea....Ive had plenty of exercise goals over the years....hell one goal when i trained with fiona was to do pushups on my toes lowering myself low....well.....7 years later i cannot do them LOL Whilst over the years i saw improvement in my cardio fitness....Ive never really seen improvement on specific exercises.

The honest truth tho...Im not that person who wants to be able to run a certaindistance or in a certain amount of time....or go do bikini competitions or anything....its a means for weight no main concern long as I stick to my eating :)

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Getting ready for Military Miss

well! LOL. Its....ta-da! the weekend :)

So....where is things....well...okay...time to admit something...that only really occurred to me today lol. So today I came home..and noticed nearly a full bag of white chocolate bits in my cupboard. Have you ever done that thing...where u find something you like eat it it doesnt mess with your diet? (insane logic there!) yeh well i did that UGH

But so okay THAT happened...then I got thinking ..... ive been doing calorie cycling the last few weeks...and yanno my body does respond pretty good to that...but it can get confusing. And by that its hard to track macros....not that I really have....but...i have to keep a note on my phone on my pc....make sure they both match....then each night....check what the next days calories are. MFP is doing a upgrade soon (it available in the US but not here yet tho) where you can set different calories for each day of the as good as cal cycling is...its messy in that sense. Ive had too many days over the last few weeks...where ive thought....oh ill eat extra tonight...and less tomorrow...always playing catch up.

Anyway Monday is day 1 of Military Miss (salutes!) This has a set menu plan..which I am planning to follow...I will pop the calories in MFP....more so if i have some real good losses i have a record of what i ate :) It also I believe has a exercise plan...I will see exactly monday morning. Anyway tomorrow I am planning to clean out my kitchen cupboards, buy all the food for week 1...prep what food I can :) Tomorrow I am planning to eat 1400 calories.

Two other things...firstly I was talking to a friend today...we were discussing how obsessive i get about my weight loss lol and how down I can get when the scales dont to what I want. Anyway so we had this conversation and I only weekly weigh ins over the time of the Military Miss program....she was like "you know you are hopeless at lying so I will know if you dont stick with this" I will weigh in monday morning....then each wednesday morning, for at least the time of the military miss...focus on just feeling better instead of focusing on how much I have lost on the scales.

The other normally i am not a competitive person. My focus is normally on....just competing with not in a 6 week competition but a lifestyle change afterall. So competing....and putting 120% into this 6 week challenge I can only benefit from it right? So thats the challenge....100% dedication to it all...too attending the boot camp sessions (altho due to time i can only make 1 per week) 2 PT sessions per week...I am going to do every friggin exercise session they set out....and not wimp out cos i dont wanna go in the weights area lol...follow the meal plan as best i can (lets face it somethings i wont like...but ill attempt everything!)....and ill document as much as i can on instagram (i love that app!) .... ill take some pics monday morning as well. The other good thing about this challenge is your earn points for doing workouts...classes....etc hopefully it will help me get into some good routines :)

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Self Belief

Wow second post for the day :) But this is kinda a real important post...and I was lying down thinking about this and knew I just needed to get what I was thinking written down.

I will start by saying...this post is in no way attacking people...yep I will prolly mention some things that were not pleasant...and somethings that should never have occurred...but I take the thought process that sometimes people make unwise decisions...and that is their decisions to make....and after those decisions are made....they live their life with whatever the outcomes were. Im not trying to make anyone look bad...simply...understand myself a lil make my life and future a lil better.

Ive talked about my childhood in my past. Until my dad got sick it was a mostly idylic childhood (apart from my youngest sister passing away of course) We were never rich....but we never wanted for anything...I was a kid in the 70's and so like most kids in the 70's I led a mostly innocent life. wasnt perfect. I recall many a time being accused of lying. Now dont get me wrong...I was a kid...of course I lied at times.... "Karyn did you cut these curtains cos you thought they were too long?" who me? no never! (Of course I did....but I was VERY young at the time)

I recall one specific instance I was 10 or 11....anyone who knows me....knows I have ridiculously thick hair. Well I constantly get new tufts of hair growing along my fringe line (and in fact I remember my sister commenting one of my nephews gets it or did get it when he was younger obviously a family trait) anywayyyyyyyyyyyyy I remember being accused of cutting my hair. Knowing darn well I didnt and knowing full well if you just looked at could tell it wasnt cut. And I recall being told I was lying and a liar. I carried that with me for a long time. I know if anything happens....pretty much something is missing or damaged or whatever....even tho no one may be considering its me who did thought will just be to prove to that person it wasnt me....cos its just ingrained in me that people think I am lying. (Even tho I know if I asked people truthfully people who know me well I know would say i couldnt be more honest if i tried)

When we were babies we werent born with this belief that people think we are lying....and sure...some kids lie...and i KNOW i lied at times especially when young...but there is a difference with "you are lying" and "you are a liar" - its someones words I have taken on, and as I said above I dont think it was said from a place of ill...more a case of maybe not knowing better.

I was reading a article today (which is really what got me to thinking about this) about the perfect age to leave home as a teen/young adult to be most successful. It straight away made me think about when I left home. I moved out when I was 17. I really ummmed and ahhhed whether I should post this cos i have NEVER discussed this with anyone....not with anyone who knew about it afterwards or have I confided it in anybody....but I said above and I want to be paramount clear about this...this is not about blame....this is about me going "yep that happened....they shouldnt have done it....but they did and they have to live with that for the rest of their lives....its not for me to carry around" with that said....there was a arguement....I do not recall what the arguement was about...(but I am sure it involved me being a smart mouth) and I was hit numerous times...across my butt and back of my legs. Now when I say hit...i dont mean a tap...I mean the i have black bruising and it hurts to sit down type of hit. I moved out of home within a week of that happening. And that is what I was reflecting on today...i left home without completing my schooling (always a regret altho I was never a great student)...I left home with no savings....but I had wasnt ideal....but it was a caustic environment. Now that incident was the final straw (and the only physical thing that happened) but in that family environment....not from all but certain some members of that weight was always a constant topic. Now dont get me wrong....I was maybe a size 16 when I moved out...I was not obese....sure I carried some extra kilos...but I was hardly 173 kilos :) (in fact it wasnt till over 4 years later i hit 99 my guess is i was 85-90 kilos) I was taken to doctors, i was put on ridiculous diets, I was questioned over everything I ate...till it did get to the point where I didnt eat in front of others...and i snuck food into my bedroom. For me I was the person in that household that you make the joke off. Needless to say for me that "blended family" never worked.

I often joke i am the "blacksheep" in that family. I carry more weight then anyone else, I am not married or with a partner, I am gay....and yanno maybe I am...for many years I have taken on that self belief. That I am less then others....that I deserve less then others. When mum passed away...I put up a wall and didnt let anyone see that I struggled with it...its a very hard thing to deal not just with grief....but when a parent passes away where there was some resentment. And thats a bad thing to say I know...but I did resent where her loyalties lay at times...and times she chose not to support my life or decisions....but like I said above thats not to blame,,,,thats simply the way it is. We all make decisions and we all have to live with them. She made some decisions I didnt agree with...I of course love her and miss her....but it doesnt change those decisions. But many years ago i came to peace about them...and knew while I disagreed with some of them...I cannot take them on...I cannot carry grudges...or change those things...and so I havent. But when she did pass away it was a struggle for a long time. It was only earlier this year....that the rawness of that left and I knew I was ready for a new chapter of my life. I had taken my eye of my health and weight loss for a few years and new it was time to refocus on that. I am lucky at the same time the gym fell into place...I feel I found inspiration on different you tube channels....and what I have realised of that despite it all...despite the things I didnt agree with or didnt like that happened in my life they only make me part of who I am if I allow them too. If I allow to let peoples unfounded beliefs of me...become my beliefs of me then yes....what they thought will come true.

But bottom line is I know I am a good person...with good intentions...yep I may make mistakes at times....some people wont like me...hell some may hate me...but others opinions wont matter...I know I am as unique as you are or your next door neighbour. We all have our unique traits that make us individuals (except for I dont know maybe hardened criminals lol) I am lucky I know what a lot of my good traits are...and I also know what some of my bad ones are....but yanno the good outweigh the bad....I know I am stubborn, opinionated (to a degree), am like a dog with a bone....and all those are things can be seen as negative traits....but when it comes to my health and weight loss I see them as traits that a lot of people would like to have. Yep I am stubborn....I have prolly stuck at this weight loss at a lot of times when others would have given up, I am opinionated....I am educated on nutrition and fitness (that said anyone who I trust and respect gives me advice I am going to listen and take it on board) I am not fooled easily...and yep I do have low tolerance for stupidity when it comes to eating well...I am sure many people have seen that from me....I am lucky in that I know have a fab trainer and food coach who i trust and respect both :) In the past I have had other trainers and food coaches (fiona!, eve, sarah, candace) who I trusted and respected also....but I have also had trainers and food coaches who didnt know what they were doing to the level I guess I expected....if I am risking a injury or simply being told "eat 1200 calories" with no thought to my exercise level, age or current weight...then yeh...Im highly unlikely to stick to what this "professional says" so yep I will dig my feet in and be opinionated ;) And a dog with a bone....personally I love reading about nutrition and fitness, especially nutrition....if I have a question....or a concern....I will ask questions...I will dig around...until I get the answer that makes sense to me...and maybe some see that as a negative...but in my mind its a complete positive!

So yes....not everyone will like you or agree with you (and some maybe family members....blood related or not) but we choose whether we allow ourselves to let their beliefs become our self beliefs. Its hard not too...but for me....its come down to being strong minded and realistic...I cannot control others actions...only the way I act.

Weigh in result :)

So yesterday was weigh in day :) And i lost 600 grams taking me down to 116.6 kilos. My body fat also dropped to a low of 43%. Im pretty happy with that number.

I remember last year going out for dinner one night. I was between 117.6 kilos (yes i remember the number i was so traumatised!), anyway i was getting ready and went to put on this jumper I own. Its a stunning, gorgeous jumper from susans that I paid $90 had always been a loose fit style...anyway i put it on....and it was friggin too tight around my arms....MY ARMS! OMG i was devestated! I dont think I talked about anything else that whole dinner lol. So now I am under that....hopefully at some point it will fit me again! lol

The scales were up a tiny bit today...but I am not stressing as I have done a combo of weights and cardio the last 3 nights and do have a lil DOMs so quite likely retaining some fluid. I didnt go to the gym tonight. Last night i was exhausted and asleep at 9.45pm and still asleep when my alarm went off at 6.30am. Tomorrow night I will go in and do body pump and try and fit some treadmill intervals before the class...will be a tight squeeze cos the gym closes at 7pm on friday nights.

Fernwoods Military Miss starts on monday. I am definitely planning to do ALL their workouts (and will prolly do 30 minutes running intervals most days as well) and had my to-ing and fro-ing about their eating plan...but am going to stick to it for the first week or so and see how it goes. Its basically 1200 calories...but...its designed for someone who is pear the right amount of carbs, protein etc. There is only one snack that I dont think I could make myself eat....the rest is all doable...there is a hot breakfast on 2 weekdays...but going to see if i can premake them on monday then just take them to work and maybe heat them up...not sure if that will work or not...might just have to force myself up 15 minutes earlier those days.

My diet coke has increased again the last few days argh!! Need to focus on keeping that to only 2 a day - goal of the week!

I do have something exciting possibly in the works...cannot say yet and wont till I know it will definitely will occur....but lemme say if it is BIG!! Cross ya fingers and toes for me :)

PS dont forget to follow me on instagram at - its where it all happens in the land of kazz! (motivational pics, workout pics, progress pics, food etc!)

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Those scales...

The scales were up by 1.3 kilos this morning...I actually wasnt surprised....not because of bad eating ;) but I knew returning to the gym would lead to fluctuations. So I am staying consistent food wise and reminding myself I did gain fat...and what goes up MUST come down! ;)

Tomorrow presuming its not raining I decided I will go into the gym and do day 1 of the buff dudes program...I will do the odd day here and there to fill in until i start that program properly :) then I will do 30-45 minutes of cardio. I did manage to get to 6 minutes on the stepper on wednesday night...tomorrows aim would be 7 minutes....and since its likely the gym would be quiet...maybe i could do a test run of some jogging on the treadmill :)

I mentioned on the other post that I had signed up for Military Miss which includes bootcamp on tuesday night...then last night I got thinking and was like...oh i think i made a mistake this is gonna be horrid LOL but then I got thinking about it today. Im really not a group person....I still in a lot of ways see myself as that 173 kilo girl...and well I know i suck at a lot of athletic/fitness things...but I do need to get over this so I will go to any part of the gym...any class....and just do my thing....without worrying about what others are thinking of while i may not enjoy it...i think those 6 weeks of boot camp mentally will be helpful to me...prolly more so then physically.

My trainer is away for 10 monday I will have a different trainer...someone ive known for a few years altho I have never done a session with that should be interesting and then I will do pump after. So my plan for exercise this week is:

sunday: week 1 day 1 buff dudes and 30-45 mins cardio
monday: 1 hour PT session plus body pump
tuesday: week 1 day 2 buff dudes and 30-45 mins cardio
wednesday: week 1 day 3 buff dudes and 30-45 mins cardio
thursday: RPM + 10 minutes stepper
friday: Body pump
saturday: Rest day
sunday: week 2 day 1 buff dudes and 30-45 mins cardio

I think in a perfect world my cardio by myself would become a combination of the stepper, cross trainer and intervals on the treadmill...not sure about the intervals on the treadmill the other 2 are definitely doable.

Not much else to say :)

Thursday, July 09, 2015

Oh a lot of thinking...

So I have been doing a chitload of thinking!

I am really so happy with my progress to date. The amount of centimetres I am losing is great and the scales are slowly going down. But there are a number of things I need to switch up or focus on.


This is a biggie. Yes I am still going to drink a small amount of diet coke, but regardless of that I really want to get my water intake to be higher and consistent. I have a 1.25 litre bottle...which I need to learn to carry everywhere! I really want to drink 3 of it per day.... so 3.75 litres. It prolly sounds like a lot....but I am a camel haha....ever since I was a kid...always want a drink....I am one of those people who cannot even fathom a meal or snack unless I have a drink to go with it. So for me it is actually realistic.


I havent really focused on this of late. Its not that I eat no protein....altho could prolly eat more from natural sources....I eat protein powder in my oats every day....and a quest bar everyday (and I wont even mention the protein chips i have on order!) but I need to start having more things like chicken, eggs, cottage cheese, greek yoghurt etc. I really want to aim for 130 grams of protein whether on a low calorie day or high calorie day (if you look at this....this would ultimately lead me to carb cycling)


Now see I love berries...especially blackberries and raspberries. They are a super good food....nutritionally dense for small amount of calories....yet I avoid them cos of cost...yet I will go spend money on all these protein powders and yep they are expensive....but time to suck it up....I want to start to incorporate them in everyday.


So i signed up for Military Miss thru Fernwood last night. It starts July 19 and goes for 6 week. And I fully intend to follow it completely including ALL the exercise....the only limitation will be due to work I can only make it to one bootcamp session a week...but all the daily exercises, fitness tests etc I will do. That will run till the end of August.
Once it is finished I am going to throw myself into a progressive, strength program. The one I am currently looking at doing is "buff dudes" which is a 12 week program. It starts of with 3 full body workouts a week and transitions to 5 split workouts a week...but I would prolly do 4 (so would take me a lil longer to complete it) as I will be doing 2 PT sessions per week as well. I like this program cos it isnt just based on the 4 big compound moves (deadlifts, squats, benchpress, shoulder presses, and bicep curls) I know a lot of people swear by those 5 big moves especially body builders....but I dont want to be restrictive nor am I likely to ever get into body building lol. One of the things I really like about the program is there are some mobility stretches you do each day plus 5 days a week you do cardio as well...My opinion (and people can disagree with me) but I want to focus on the lil muscles as well as the bigger muscles. I think that will help me to get lean all over.

I watch a lot of fitness channels....and 2 i love are both of females doing bikini prep...and one of the girls specifically....who is kinda becoming a fitness idol of mine! She while training for a bikini competition and obviously lifts weights....her workouts are so much more....she isnt a runner but she does a lot of different stuff...unique weight exercises....agility work....and her body is banging (lol) and thats what I like....I dont want to just be able to lift heavy stuff altho of course I want to be strong....but I also want to eventually (lol) be able to do a proper burpee or pushup....or have a trainer throw a circuit at me and while it be hard work fully do the exercises....I think everyones fitness can always be evolving....and there are SO many things i cannot do fitness wise (im a klutz lets face it....athleticism is not my natural talent) but I really just want to work on making my body not only look better, minimising excess skin as much as possible but also making my body adaptable so I can do a range of from a pullup to a pushup....some running to a major deadlift.

I think that was everything I planned to say! haha! :)

Wednesday, July 08, 2015

Weigh in day

So weigh in day :) I lost 400 grams so that is 9.9 kilos in the last 13.5 weeks and currently weigh 117.2 kilos - super happy with this :) I was hoping for a bigger loss but I went back to the gym monday and i think it may take 4-6 weeks for my body to adjust. Right at the moment I have a lot of upper abs...butt...inner thighs. So monday I did a hour PT session and 45 minute body pump class and last night about 20 minutes cardio and a 30 minute PT session. Tonight just going to do some cardio. I am trying to get use to the did 5 minutes on it last night at level 3 - and I was sweating like crazy...tonight I will do 6 minutes and then 20 minutes on xtrainer and 20 minutes on the treadmill on a incline.

The other thing I have noticed today I am may need to guage that...I didnt wear my HRM on monday but sure i burnt 600-900 calories....last night in a hour i burnt 603 calories...I am still calorie cycling but if need be will look at adding 100 calories a day (im currently averaging 1450 cals a day).

Looks like I am also going to do "Military Miss" which is a bootcamp thru fernwood.

Bottom line I feel good...I know my progress is slow...but I am very consistent with my losses...and even if over the next 4-6 weeks the scales dont move much I am sure my body shape will...taking photos will be super important between now and end of august!

I also want to spend some time doing tutorials on video editing. I had started a you tube channel...but I dont have many followers plus im a novice! LOL So I decided recently to focus on my instagram...I am focused on posting pics everyday and varying from motivational quote images I have created, to progress pics, pics of food, pics of me working out etc etc. I am hoping if I can build that up to at least 2000 followers (I have a long way to go!) I can then launch a you tube channel with some success...everyone knows I have a LOT to say! haha! So its a good way for me to "pay it forward" and its just one of my goals for fitness/weight loss/health being my future. Also by then I hope to be much better at you tube and editing videos etc :)

Time go go....enjoy your day all :)

Saturday, July 04, 2015

Working out my workouts

So another good 2 of absolutely no diet coke...the scales havent moved at all (in fact up 200 grams from wednesday mornings weigh in) and i think thats a message of "kazz get back to the gym" lol

So for the next 7 weeks I am working tuesday to saturdays...and oddly saturdays is going to turn into my rest day. The bonus of all this, while im not a huge fan of working on saturdays....I dont have to get up at 5.30am....instead....6.30am...and it allows for me to create a this is what my intention is for the next 7 weeks:

monday: PT session plus body pump and body balance
tuesday: PT and body pump
wednesday: Not positive yet on this day....possibly will do functional fit but it will take some reorganising and not positive i have the guts to do it lol
thursday:RPM plus my own workout (see below)
friday: body pump
saturday: rest day
sunday: my own workout (see below)

So in relation to my own workout my trainer gave me a list of exercises breaking them up into upper body, lower body and core, as well as that there are a few exercises i specifically want to include (some compound lifts....nothing overly heavy....altho I will try and progress them but specifically wanna focus on form) plus I occassionally see some nifty exercises on youtube I wanna include. So my intention is 2 sets of 12 reps unless otherwise stated:

5 minute cardio warm up
Upper Body:

Flat barbell bench press
Inclined dumbbell bench press
Cable flys
Upright row
Shoulder press
pushups against smith machine
TRX row
Ball slams (20 reps)
Tricep dips
Tricep kickbacks
Dumbbell boxing
Bicep curls
Reverse bicep curls

Lower body:
Barbell squats
Barbell lunges
Lunges on smith machine with knee high
Calf raises standing on weight plate
Barbell dead lift
Walking lunges
Leg press
Squat jump

Mountain climbers (50)
Plank (1 minute)
Fitball crunch
Heel touches alternate (25)

My intention is on thursdays to do the upper body first and on sundays to do the lower body first so while I am doing overall body....they are both getting a focus by having a go each week with me doing them fresh.

I am not positive of the order within each if barbell squats should come before lunges etc....but I guess I will figure that out while I go along. I am intending to go into the gym tomorrow and start tomorrow. I really need to figure out a way to record it all so I can keep a record to ensure I am progressing. Also at the end of each of these plan is to start with 5 minutes on the stair climber and hopefully (if my knee joints can handle it) build it up to 15-20 minutes.

Oh I cleaned out my wardrobe today...threw out 1.5 garbage bags full of clothes....found a couple of pairs of size 18 jeans (one even manages t d the zipper up altho tight as crap!), 4 LJ tanks in size XL (two still with tags) and the two without tags? Never recall buying them haha....I found another super nice LJ top but thats a size M...I have so much good LJ clothes to shrink into! ;) So I have two wardrobes at my in my bedroom has the clothes that currently fit me plus clothing items in size 16-18 range....stuff smaller then that is in the wardrobe in my spare room. Only thing left to do now is ..... clean out the blanket box....there is soooooooooooooooooo much LJ stuff in there....mostly S, XS and M but I need to sort it out and throw out any clothes I never plan on wearing again lol.

Tonight I am home...having taken some panadeine forte.....i fell asleep earlier...and woke with a throbbing headache i guess related to the no diet coke. I took panadeine forte so much last year with that bloomin cough that i must be a bit immune too it as it no longer knocks me out like it use

Okay...i am off to watch some netflix...enjoy ur weekend all :)

Friday, July 03, 2015

Things are going good....

Things are going good....I say that a lot lately eh? But its the true....the longer I stick at it...the more differences in my body.....the more changes to my nutrition I see...the better I feel about myself and the more convinced I am that I can do this ;)

So where are things at? So I went back to calorie cycling and thats going good! I also cut back my diet coke to two cans of coke a day....but what I started to notice by only having two a day it was becoming obvious the insulin spikes. I would get hungry after having one. Ive researched this before....and when you drink something that is artificially sweetened your body detects that you have eaten/drank something sweet....but no sugar enters your it wants sugar and so u start to crave it. Obviously drinking diet coke all day was keeping the insulin at a set level. So I decided I couldnt risk those cravings and so have decided to give it up altogether....but when I say that its not exactly what I mean (confused yet?)...Im not gonna say I am giving it up....or I will never have another can of drink....simply at this time I am choosing not to drink it. I have about 6 cans left and they are in the fridge and if I really want it one day....Ill have it....but today in this moment...I am simply choosing to not have it.

The scales are stable at the moment...varying between about 117.5 and 117.9 kilos. I am not concerned about it, for one thing its like 5 days or so of being under 118 kilos....thats BIG after fluctuating between 119 and 121 kilos for weeeeeeeeeeeeeeks! Also my cycle is due...over the next 7 days or so, so I never expect losses at that time.

The good news is every day I am noticing I am either fitting into new clothes or my current clothes are getting looser on me. My jeans feel kinda ridiculous on me these days....and funnily i can take them off and put them on without unbuttoning the buttons or zipper lol

The big thing i now need to focus on tho is ATTENDING THE GYM! The last 2 weeks have been ridiculous....first I had a cold....then I cut back on the diet coke and my head was killing me then yesterday my wrist was killing me anytime I put weight onto it. Im hoping sunday to go walking and back to the gym on monday for a HOUR of PT ;) Sunday I will sit down and work out this weeks schedule...but I really need to committ to the gym 100% and I need to work exercise....I am in so many minds about it....i ie do weight training either in body splits 5-6 days a week....or 3 times a week to full body workouts....or just throw myself into classes...and the other thing is working out the of cardio to weights.....but will think of that another day! Enjoy all!

Wednesday, July 01, 2015

Weigh in day :)

So i weighed in and lost 900 grams! YAY :) So happy with that result.

So the scales are moving but the good thing is I am noticing some other things....for a while there anytime I slept on my stomach I would wake up with pain and a stiff no dramas I can do it with no repurcussions the next day :)

I am slowly starting to fit into some slightly smaller clothes. Today I am wearing a 2XL top...but its a fitted top super happy with that - think I may go thru my clothes this weekend!

Around my waist on the sides I am noticing the skin getting softer and some wrinkles reappearing in my stomach...and while wrinkles arent a great look they indicate to me I am getting smaller!

After cutting back to two diet cokes a day I only have a very minor headache today...back to the gym 100% tomorrow...i really need the routine. So will aim for body pump and some stair climbing tomorrow night. I will go in tonight and will prolly do a lil cardio and of course do my weigh in session :)

Not too much else to say...things are going good! Enjoying calorie cycling again...and surviving cutting back on the diet coke lol...oh and also i am a lot more active on instagram then anywhere else if you have instagram follow me at