Taking a deep breathe....

UGH! One of the ways where you can tell I am struggling is when my posts become regular lol...as I am trying to figure things out...and when i start to get off track all i freaking do is google and look at fat loss calculators etc etc.

So I guess the thing that is so blatently clear to me now lol is that challenges really dont work for me. Im not sure if its having to follow set meal plan, or if its fear of failure or what but i always kinda suck at them! lol

I was initially thinking go back to eating 1800 calories for a few weeks...cos to be honest i kinda forgot where my calories had been in the weeks leading up to the military miss...somewhere in the 1400 to 1600 range i think. I mentioned doing this to my food coach and she pointed out I may gain weight (which I prolly already have lol) but anyway...so i dug out the old calorie cycling i was following in april 2010...which i was around this weight....so its:

saturday : 2000
sunday : 1400
monday : 1700
tuesday : 1400
wednesday : 1300
thursday : 1500
friday :1200

For this coming week all i am going to focus on is staying under the calories for each day. I am going to eat foods i enjoy and just focus on sustainability. A couple of rules I followed on previous weight loss attempts i will still follow too...watching my sodium (i wish i didnt have too but for me its really important) and also no grains at dinner time. Im not even gonna stress about going to the gym much...i will go in tomorrow for PT and then thursday morning to weigh in. I think part of this issue has been tiredness. I really noticed last week on tuesday...the day before i had done a hour PT and a 45 minute body balance class....and was just physically exhausted. I do now for me exercise is super important...but honestly i think 1200 calories at my weight isnt what i need.

Usually whenever I post something like this i get a lot of "don't give up messages" im not giving up at all. Am i a bit frustrated? sure. I feel like ive tried every calorie level imaginable...and yes i have got losses....and any loss is a good loss...but for the amount of weight i have to eat i should be losing more. And then of course ive lost the plot over the last 10 days or so and some of those kilos are gained back. My own doing.

Realistically at the moment....a week or so of just sticking to calories...and then i will start to focus on my macros...especially my protein levels. I feel before my carbs were too high and protein too low....possibly eating at 1400-1500 cals with the right balance of macros....and the weight loss might start happening. I think in a few weeks time then I can start to think more about exercise. I do think when it comes to exercise i need something more structured...like a progressive program...and ideally in my mind a weight program followed by 30 minutes of cardio per day would work good....problem is whenever i look at programs....it usually has some exercises with equipment I dont have access too...the other option is too throw myself into Group fitness classes...my problem with that is that most cardio ones i wont do....combat i wont do cos i fall....attack i am not fit enough for...and boxing isnt on at suitable times. Which would leave RPM (i can do rpm only so many times...its a lil repitive), and maybe body jam (which i have done about twice in my lifetime! lol) i dont do zumba cos its hard on my knees with the sharp changes of direction. Which is why i feel a individual program would work better...

Altho...that said...i am starting a 3rd PT session per week soon...so monday, tuesday, and fridays will be PT and i could do 30 minutes of cardio after. Once i am back with weekends off i could do pump and balance on saturdays. Which just leaves wednesday and thursdays free to do whatever.

Anyway i will think about that more next week! LOL