So at about 4.45am this morning I woke with the sorest stomach. I was back to feeling how I felt constantly late last year. I knew the sore stomach was those gall stones....and I had a horrible taste in my mouth was from reflux :( So anyway...not able to sleep cos i couldnt get comfy with the pain...led to me being grumpy today! lol
Anyway, it got me really thinking about my relationship with food. As I have said before you dont get to 173 kilos with a healthy relationship with food...its a unhealthy one that does that. And so right now thats my main focus. I jumped on the scales this morning and they were 118.8 kilos...so up 900 grams from weigh in day...but honestly I am not even going to think about weight loss at the moment. My only focus is to stop the cycle I seem to have got on. I will weigh in this week and no doubt have a gain...but thats not my concern...my concern is breaking the cycle....getting back to a happy place with the weight loss journey. So while I debated doing calorie cycling this week...because I was worried about gaining...Im not going too cos I think eating a constant 1800 calories this week will get me back on a equilibrium (is that how you spell that word?)
So like I said yesterday....just gonna focus on being under the calories (so 1800) im not even gonna focus on carbs vs protein....or sodium....just eating within my calories.....once I accomplish that....I can start to cut back on things again. And well if i manage to lose on 1800? Well good for me LOL....but im not going to focus on it.
I should have done PT today but my stomach still didnt feel great...and I felt "heavy"....I do have to go in for weigh in on thursday....but im going to have a week off from the gym. Focus solely on getting enough sleep...and getting into a happier place...then monday next week I will be back at the gym for exercise. People may think this is the wrong way to do things...but for me...its honestly the right way...I take too much of other peoples thoughts on...something I really need to stop doing. I sat there last night just reading forums, checking out weight loss calculators etc and it just made me worse! So just focus on foods I enjoy (and I have my home made crustless quiche cooking in the oven as we speak) and sticking to my calories...surely thats not too hard for the week!