Sunday, June 21, 2015

The weekends over :(

So its sunday night already :(

I had a good weekend. Friday night i went shopping ;) Bought 4 new tops only one did i buy at full price lol...all size 18's 2 are a tad too tight but should hopefully fit me before long. Saturday morning I went into the gym for body pump, so did a 60 minute body pump class but before the class I also did some exercises...rowed 500 metres on the rower, 10 reps of 30 kilos on chest press (didnt realise it was on 30 lol thought it was 25....that was a struggle), 1 set of 12 reps of 5 kilo inclined dumbbell bench press, 2 setsof 12 reps of 6 kilo inclined dumbbell bench press, 12 reps of shrugs with smith machine with 20 kilos, then another set of 12 with 25 kilos....and also some shoulder warm up exercises with the cable row machine.

I had a few social occassions last week but I feel I chose fairly good options. After the gym on saturday i then went and got my eyebrows waxed (gawd can you believe the last time i had them done was in brisbane on the day i was going to see october poor neglected eyebrows). I then went with my friend Martine to Tanias and from there we went to Tanias hairdresser where we were each going to see a psychic. LOL. Not sure I believe in that stuff but it was interesting none the less.

I dont know if I have ever really discussed my hair on this blog. But I hate wearing my hair loose unless I scrunch it. When i was my hair if i put a comb thru it then leave it i get these nice loose casual curls but soon as I put a comb or brush thru it it is like frizz city which is why 99% of the time I wear it in a ponytail. Anyway tania had a hair straightener so i borrowed it to see if I could straighten it (I have never done this myself before) anyway I did it...and it wasnt perfectly straight but OMG such a improvement on i wore it loose....i felt very fancy! I have attached a pic below :)

So i think next on the agenda is to buy myself a hair straightener. Actually thinking...this just kinda came to me....Lauren told me to think of a goal  for when I get to 115 i might not buy the hair straightener yet....but once I get down to 115 kilos (presuming i ever do!) that will be what i get. :)

So onto my weight loss...since this is a weight loss blog...still no action on the scales! It is now sitting around 120-121 kilos...didnt weigh myself this morning cos i stayed at Tanias last night...but if I am under 120 kilos in the morning I will be very happy. So this week I am gonna have a gain...definitely not a loss...and highly unlikely a stay the same.

I am "kinda" okay with that. From going back and looking at my journey over the years....I realise when I get back into exercise this is not uncommon for me. I get that it may take up to 6 weeks or so to get a result. Do i think i am putting on fat? Absolutely not. But it still doesnt feel great. Now I realise I am not this...and I dont want a pile of "oh your not kazz your wonderful" type messages lol....but it does at this point make me feel like i am not saying i think i am a failure...cos i am not....but i just feel like i am failing. I get this is just my stupid body and how it reacts...but still frustrating. I think the issue for me is more about what others think then what I think. The other day someone was talking to me (telling me i shouldnt count calories lol) and anyway i said...i need eating 1200 calories.....exercising 45-60 minutes 4-5 times a week and not losing and his response was "the weight should be falling off you". And you know he is right, but the fact it isnt I keep replaying that line in my brain. And I know I am not doing anything wrong...but still it kinda feels like it. And I must admit when you are eating such a lil amount, and spending your cold winter evenings traipsing to the gym instead of going home to where it is is very challenging. Now I am not saying I am not seeing the benefits of this. I sure I am. When I look at that pic I took last know I really liked it...I looked at it and felt good about me. I didnt feel like I looked like a ugly troll skin looks healthy, my hair looks fairly healthy I felt good..."normal"....not like I stand out.

I know specially in body pump classes i am really focusing on my form. And my back is handling pump so much better and while i am not on high weights yet...i feel i am doing that the right way...not giving into my ego to just go for heavier weights.

I prolly am not sure I still have the workouts balanced. I have the 12wbt program. The cardio sessions which are for monday and wednesdays I have....and i sweat in them. They are not ridiculously hard but definitely get some calories burnt. The resisitance programs which are tuesday and thursday I am not finding very challenging. They said from my fitness score....I should be on the beginners program...I looked at the intermediate and even that didnt look very challenging. Cos I dont need much rest because its not overly challenging....discounting the warm up and stretches...I did their resistance workout in only 20 minutes last week LOL. I think one of the things I struggle with is that balance of cardio vs resistance work. its a hard one for me which I have mentioned many times...i wish i could go back to combat...but i cannot work out why i started falling in that class and I cannot risk falling over again and breaking a wrist again lol. In a ideal perfect world I would like to do each week body balance, boxing, pump (and maybe yoga)...attack i am not fit enough for, i discussed combat above and I simply dont really find RPM challenging...thats mostly my own doing cos i dont push myself....and while i like the cycling where u stand up and cycle...i think thats the hills....where you sit with a lot of resistance...i HATE lol ;) I could also go to body jam altho not my class of choice

So going by that....over the next 2 weeks (since my days off at work are about to change at least for 3 weeks)

I could make body balance monday arvo and saturday morning
boxing I could make friday night (i think...dependant on traffic etc)
pump i could make tuesday, thursday (again dependant on traffic), friday night and saturday morning
yoga i could make wednesday nights
thursday nights i could make body jam

So because I do feel I accomplish more in classes even tho i feel so out of place in them but I may just have to suck it up and get over that LOL

monday : body balance
tuesday : pump
thursday: pump + body jam
friday:boxing + pump
saturday: pump + body balance

Now when i look at that....attending pump and balance to me isnt a issue cos i kinda know what I am doingin those classes. Even yoga i think i could cope with. Boxing...well...UGH....haha...I just dont feel i would keep up...and i hate for one doing partner work cos im usually partner less LOL and also i hate when there will be a exercise which will be like....we will do this till everyone is finished...and everyone else is not happy cos they are holding a plank or wall squat for what feels like a eternity cos i am super slow :( I also dont know about body jam, feel like a dork and always the possibility i would if i cut those ones out my week would look like this:

monday : body balance + PT
tuesday : PT + body pump
wednesday : Yoga + some cardio
thursday : pump 
friday : pump
saturday : body pump + balance

So if u look at that...I am still missing cardio workouts (apart from PT) lol, I also could do functional fit....I think theres a thursday night session I could attend. UGH. I hate that I started falling in combat...cos i could add that to mondays and saturdays...and I hate that i fell of the treadmill cos its ridiculous how scared of that thing i am (plus i am not sure they are really built for running even in spurts for someone my size) If I had my way in all honesty I would do a 3rd PT session (I did 3 a week when I trained with Fiona) but my trainer doesnt actually have that kind of availability. If I am going to do that much pump....and I know I have been told before 3-4 pump sessions a week will get body change...i really need to get some cardio in.

I am going walking sunday this week as well...but thats not intense cardio or anything...thats enjoyable....relaxing even.

But tomorrow is a new week...hopefully the scales dont keep going up...and soon will start going down! lol :)

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