Sunday, March 16, 2014

Ive not had a great weekend....partly due to not feeling well....yesterday morning i had a touch of gastro...then this morning i woke with a sore throat and headache (not feeling too bad at the moment then)...sitting around with not much to do as I was resting has led me to being hugelyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy bored and too much time to think!

I then got thinking about how damn long this has all taken....2 years ago...i was a few kilos within goal n now im 20 kilos away seven and a half years later. It does feel like i am never going to get there. My biggest  struggle at the moment isnt the food (even if i havent eaten great the last 2 days) its my exercise and my lack of confidence...i avoid so much cos i lack confidence at the gym....theres a running group starts tomorrow tempted to join it yet at the same time i dont feel confident with a new group of people and running thru the streets of adelaide is terrifying (the other week i was crossing the lights near work....and a car went past and yelled,,,,,move your fat ass...)...i dont do boxing anymore cos i worry that i wont be able to keep up...even tho i realise just doing my best is all that should matter...i dont do body combat cos im scared of falling over....and now having slipped on the treadmill i am absolutely terrified of that happening again ..... blah blah....

I think also signing up for the foxy challenge was a mistake....i dont do good with a "competitive environment" and i really wanna do my own thing with nutrition not feel oblidged to do what others think i should thinking tomorrow i may write a email to the manager of the gym asking to just be taken out of the challenge. I think i should do the running group tho...will decide tomorrow morning! Tomorrow i will weigh in and then will weigh in on friday,,,,,each friday will be a weigh in day :)

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