Weigh in results | The gym

So weighed in this morning and was down to 121.9 kilos....so a 1 kilo loss yay :) This takes my total loss to 51.2 kilos. I must admit while i am happy with that i am feeling kinda flat today about the whole weight loss thing. I think its just a mental thing....i stuck to this for a week why dont i feel better? LOL the whole instant gratious deal.

I noticed from the contents i got some new followers....I just wanted to say...the progress photos are from 2006-2012 where i lost 94 kilos...i then gained back 47 kilos...and back trying to lose again. I would like to lose another 50 kilos...so quite the ask :) I should prolly update the progress photos to give a "now"

I have been starving today and the cafe at work had a creamy pasta dish on offer...i so have resisted. Instead i stuck to a chicken, cheese and mayo sandwich. Its a higher calorie day today so i also had one of the packs of "tasty on the go" cheese and crackers. So i am content now.

The big think i am STILL lacking is the gym lol...im such a lazy ass...i havent been at all this week....and havent planned for it tonight and would be too late to go home and then go in. Tomorrow night tho i have a double PT session...time to get on top of that and start to be a bit committed to exercise. I really dont want to be that person who loses their weight from diet alone...i need the exercise.

The gym will prolly be announcing the foxy challenge soon (a 12 week challenge) and i will prolly do that which might help me getting into a routine with the gym (its the classes still...i feel im too "fat" and dont belong)

Okay...back to work enjoy all!

Clean out | Exercise

So the scales greeted me with 121.9 kilos this morning :) I have eaten a bit too much carbs today so i am guessing there may be a fluctuation tomorrow!

Today i had the day off and stayed home and was productive. I cleaned out kitchen cupboards....cleaned the kitchen....went thru my wardrobe. All the small clothes just take up too much room in my wardrobe and its depressing LOL...so i removed everything size 14 or smaller or a size medium or smaller. I actually found a few clothes that fit me now that i had forgotten i bought LOL. As I lose the weight this time and things get small i will be chucking them. Ill keep my largest size jeans and one top but thats it...once too big out it goes.

While my eating is going pretty good...the exercise is still lacking. I think a hour of exercise 6 days a week is where i need to be. I want my focus to be on classes and walking. So when there is no class i want to do...i think a 6km walk will be the answer. At my current weight i think walking is a good option.....and it really helped me last time in building up the amount of time i can exercise. So tomorrrow...id forgotten was a holiday as i am working....so soon as i get home tomorrow night will head out for a 6km walk....so on that note....my exercise for the rest of this week will be:

tuesday : 6km walk
wednesday : yoga
thursday : double PT
friday : 6km walk (in the morning)
saturday : rest
sunday : 6km walk

When i work 9-5pm the only classes i can make at the gym are 6.30pm classes....so some days im gonna have to suck it up and stick to a walk around my home area.

Not too much else to say....hope everyone has a good australia day...i of course will be working it! Enjoy all :)

Medication doing great things for my body :) | Goals

Yesterday i noticed i was feeling a lot calmer. It reminded me of when i have been on antidepressents except to a lesser degree. So i did some googling about it and PCOS and anxiety/depression and found people commenting they noticed a difference in their moods :)

The stomach pains i get from it have significantly reduced...i had one yesterday.

And the good news is the scales have continued to move in the right direction :) So this morning I was 122.1 kilos (for comparison sakes i was 122.9 kilos on wednesday)...so so far i am looking at close to a 1 kilo loss this week....my aim would be to hit 121.9 kilos by wednesday (as of this morning tho...i have lost 3.1 kilos in the last 2.5 weeks :))

The medication is definitely lessening my appetite and i really have no interest in certain foods (especially creamy, fatty foods) today Tania and I went down to the beach for a walk and then to brunch. So by the time we ate it was midday....all id eaten so far that day was a quest bar. We ordered our standard meal....which is 2 slices of sour dough bread, 3 eggs scrambled, 2 pieces of bacon and a grilled tomato. I normally ALWAYS finish it off and the highlight of the meal  is usually the eggs. Well i ate about 1/3 of the eggs...2 slices of bacon and one slice of toast and I had had enough and to be completely honest the thought of another spoonful of eggs was enough to make me barf...even right now....im a bit turned off by the thought of them. This is so unlike me. It makes me think....maybe this is "normal" and whatever crazy chit my hormones were doing before this medication was not normal...i mean i never thought the cravings were normal. Regardless im glad for the medication and the place i am at currently.

There is 48 weeks TODAY till xmas day. I want to aim for 95 kilos by then (a big ask but i CAN do it and have lost more then this in a year before) if i could lose a average of 600 grams a week i would reach not only 95 kilos but would put me between 93 to 94 kilos...which would be AMAZING....so basically my aim for the year is to lose at least 30.3 kilos....currently as I said....so far ive lost 3.1 kilos...10% done ;)

I absolutely refuse to get on a plane till i am 105 kilos or lighter and i need to be on a plane at the latest by december...possibly earlier....once i hit 105 i think i will do a flight....not sure where too....maybe somewhere crazy like fiji...or maybe melbourne...the place isnt the important part the getting on the plane and it not being a nitemare is!

Enjoy your day all :)

All going good :)

So the good news is i seem to be maintaining that drop on the scales from yesterday morning :) Yesterday i was 122.2 kilos and this morning 122.3 kilos so more then happy with that :) If I could lose approx 600 grams a week for the rest of the year that would put me under 95 kilos by xmas which would be AMAZING...so not expecting miracles...not being so restrictive i am tempted to give up...jus keeping going as i am and enjoying the journey :)

Today is saturday but i am working and my actual friday...another 90 minutes and 2 days off work ;) Tomorrow i am planning a sleep in....being lazy in the morning and then a big organisational and cleaning day of the house :)

Exercise for the next week is:

monday : pump and balance (45 minute class each)
tuesday : PT
wednesday : gonna get corageous and try yoga!
thursday : double PT
friday :
saturday :
sunday : 6km walk

Today is also high calorie day. So tonight i will be splashing out on a chicken kebab nom nom nom.

Not really a great loss else going on....i am super excited to sleep in tomorrow morning! Enjoy all :)

Lil update!

So the good news is the scales finally moved :) After fluctuating between 122.9 kilos and 123.3 kilos they did a sizeable drop to 122.2 kilos :) So doing the right thing and sticking to it paid off. I feel like ive finally caught up on my sleep as well...so today is a good day! And altho its friday...its NOT my friday...tomorrow is friday for me...then sunday and monday off...so ready for some time off, where I selfishly have the entire 2 days to myself i must admit being able to plan my day not worrying when the ex partner would want me to spend time with them is nice LOL (thats bad eh?)

This will be a short post...as nothing else really to say! Life is nice at the moment...I feel good...not stressed...not overly emotional or overtired which can only be good for weight loss :)

Enjoy all :)

Too much thinking

So the scales continued their merry fluctuation dance today and were back up to 123.3 kilos. I am not stressed about it tho. Firstly cos i know food wise i have been doing the right thing...ive been sticking to my calories, eating clean, drinking at least 2.2 litres of water a day. I put it down to 1 of 3 things....im retaining fluid from the heat (i think this is the most likely)...lack of sleep...or not enough exercise.

The lack of sleep and not enough exercise are tied together. I got so overtired from monday night i have skipped the gym since....but i am going back tomorrow night for body pump. But in all honesty i think its fluid retention from the heat, so i am going to continue to stick to the game plan and hopefully the scales will move soon enough.

I have also started taking diabex which my body is obviously adjusting too. The interesting thing is i am really losing interest in food...today ive not been interested in food and when i have eaten ive only wanted bland foods (like toast, bananas, oatmeal)...i had for lunch a egg and cheese salad (which i love) but couldnt stomach the thought of it...high fat food especially i have no interest in. I know tho this can be a side effect but only usually lasts a few weeks....and really...me not being interested in food is not a bad thing! LOL

One of the things that has occured to me of late...is something ive been aware of previously but maybe i am now more conscious of...and thats that i have lost confidence in my ability to lose weight. Which seems a crazy thing to say since i lost 94 kilos in the past. But what i feel is going on a plan and losing weight in "week 1" is easy...its doable....but i lose confidence doing it long term. Even tho if i do the right thing....water/food and exercise i know it will happen...but i think deep within me i doubt i can do it again. And thats the honest truth. And i think that sometimes thats why i bounce from program to program cos then i get "week 1" again...and doing week 1 is easy....its the week 2....week 3.....week 25 etc that is harder. So i am working on changing that....i will never be that person that diet alone works for ,,,,, a huge focus needs to be on me building/maintaining muscle....even if the scales dont move heaps if im building muscle...then its still all moving in the right direction....and thats what makes my next body scan very interesting. My mind is constantly like....well maybe im not getting good enough results cos im eating too much fat...or too little fat,,,,maybe im eating too little or too much...and i think i kinda throw my hands in the air. When i lost the weight before i had very lil nutritional knowledge...and it was in the low fat era...i never ate things like coconut oil...avocado...butter (grass fed or not!) i just ate lower fat...and i dont know that that worked fabulously cos i had some lengthy plateaus....but over the years i did work...currently im on 1550 calories....i guess if anything im leaning towards a high fat diet...but im not convinced on that just "science" seems to suggest that....and that its suggested to help with PCOS...but then again my PCOS basically went dormant eating low fat....then again maybe if i ate more fat i would have had less of a skin issue...LOL....see?????? Thats why i get confused....and why i question. If someone else asked me for recoemmentations for themselves...i could spit out calories and food recommendations easily...but when its dealing with my self...i doubt my judgement lol

Anyway enough rambling! Body pump tomorrow night....its a date ;)

Update :)

So this morning the scales were 122.9 kilos so a slight drop from yesterday morning.

I managed to get a decent nights sleep...altho my alarm wasnt scheduled to go off till 6.30am but my skype was blowing up with messages at 5.30am. The person i had had a very on/off relationship with...i ended it completely a few days ago (for good) and blocked and deleted them on skype....they had someone else message me this morning to tell me not to message them anymore (yes really!) so freaking childish. Hopefully they wont contact me again....ive removed and blocked any mutual friends on skype...she has 3 fb accounts...i only know of 2....those 2 i have blocked her on so is always the chance she can still message me but hopefully its done for good. I really need a good 9 or so hours sleep to just catch up...planning that for tonight....so hopefully asleep by 9.30pm.

It looks like i might have to have a third pest inspection (ugh)...the first one in october....the rep went to the wrong address and filled out the report incorrectly....the second one the guy who turned up (even tho he had the incorrect report) they are saying doesnt work for them (i have major concerns about this!) and now they have part left me a message saying they have spoken to my landlord....my guess is they want to organise ANOTHER time for another inspection....mightily annoyed if thats the case and will be calling my land agent to give "feedback" cos its ridiculous.

Nothing else much is going on...just eating good...and catching up on sleep lol such a lazy life!

Distinct lack of sleep....

So last night sleeping really didnt happen! It was bad...the street party stopped at 11pm....then at 3am trucks were here to pack up some of the street...6am they were doing sound checks. So i slept only a few hours...i got up to have a shower and was so tired i felt ill....so i didnt go into work.

I slept from 7am to 10.30am then went to the docs. Whilst there I discussed the PCOS. He suggested there is a chance my symptoms are menopause...but i am sure its the PCOS....and even if i am going thru menopause PCOS stays with you....so anyway he decided to put me on diabex. Hopefully that will help after some time with the symptoms....it can help with carb cravings and weight loss. So we will see how that goes.

As promised i did jump on the scales and i was 123.1 kilos which is a increase of 700 grams. But i have DOMs especially in my upper arms so thinking thats why. Foodwise been super good today...I made a carbonara tonight (no cream) and used zoodles (zuchini) for the pasta....was very yummy and several cups of vegies.

Due to not working today I didnt go to the gym...im tired already so hopefully i fall asleep early and catch up on sleep.

Foodwise today I ate 1290 calories (low cal day) and tomorrow i have 1550 calories which seems heaps after today! HAH! Tomorrow night i will do zumba.

Not  a lot going on...sitting down to watch will & grace before bed...enjoy your night all :)

Setting up some routines

Its 12.30am and i have to be up at 6.30am and cannot get to sleep argh...so decided to get up and write a post since I was mulling over things in my head ;)

Ive been thinking a few things...the first is "chat".....i go to a online chat program fairly regularly and really i dont think it benefits my weight loss. I remember when i did really well with my weight loss i didnt chat back then so ive decided its time to really stay out of there. We all need things to relax and have some "me" time but there are other more productive ways of doing it.

One of the things I do want to get into is vlogging on you tube. Ive been kind of put off because of poor video editing software and poor camera (ie webcam on my laptop or use my phone/ipad) but i feel this is a hobby that I can do anytime I have spare time that would be productive and beneficial to my weight loss, and add  level of accountability. So i have been looking at cameras. I will hopefully get a bonus from work in approx 3 weeks time so thinking i will spend it on a camera. So i want to buy a decent camera but not a ridiculous priced one...the one i am looking at is the canon 1200D which for what i want for a entry level camera and quality photos and videoing looks good. I am thinking about trying to play around with photography too. If that all goes well I might look in June at buying a mac so id have good video editing software (imovie)

Ive also decided that i want to go back to daily blogging here with me posting each day what my weight was on the scale for additional accountability, A couple of friends text each morning there weighs in to each other and that helps them....so since i use to do this a lot when i was successful i am hoping it will help again, since i wont be in chat at night i will have time for updating this blog daily! LOL I also want to get back into instagram more...that has slackened of late, and it was motivational so weekly weigh ins on there, foodie pics, progress pics and whatever else takes my fancy.

Also we decided to lower my calories. I still am going to calorie cycle but dropping them to 1550 calories. Im never a real fan of calorie cycling when at 1800 calories as it puts the "high" days too high. But i have sat down and figured it out...prolly the only issue i see with it is i like to have the day before weigh in as my low day (which will be 1250 calories) but with weighing on wednesdays my low day will be a tuesday which is actually a fairly active day as i have PT....but i will see how that goes....maybe ill have to raise it slightly and have a low day a different day...ill see how tomorrow goes.

I think i have also figured i have been way too focused on "79 kilos". Because i got that low....i dont think my head understands i am a LONG way from 79 kilos. Like 40+ kilos. I need to focus on just one kilo at a time. And really as i am 122.4 kilos at the moment...i should really just focus on getting under 120 kilos...then reassess, cos hey....surely i can lose 2.5 kilos eh?

Tomorrow night (which is really tonight eek!) i am planning on doing about a hour of cardio (mostly the treadmill) and then a 30 minute PT session. Maybe ill throw some stair climbing in as well but instead of going crazy ill start like i did when Fiona trained me. We started off with 3 flights and then built from there. So i might do 30 minutes on the treadmill....3 flights.....another 30 minutes or so....before PT. I use to actually like stair climbing....and maybe i should aim to do the westpac stairclimb again this year....and very, very slowly build up my stairs (no rush after all)

Body Scan

So went to the gym today.

First off I had the body scan....was interesting....while i have a LOT of fat....i have 18% more muscle then is the healthy amount for women my age, height etc. The muscle also isnt proportioned great....its mostly my upper body....this was surprising but partly prolly related to the fact about something i discussed recently...how i dont use my muscles how others do to do certain activity (like i use momentum to get up off a seat, i position myself to pick up something off the floor so i dont have to bend my knees). These are things i am working on with my trainer beck, I also want to focus on walking as my kinda go to cardio exercise at the moment....it works for my current fitness level and hopefully help with my legs building muscle. I also have on the high end the amount of water in my body....which is prolly related to the high amount of muscle.

So for transparency here is the stats:

weight : 122.4 kilos
Skeletal muscle mass : 32.1 kilos
Body fat mass : 64 kilos

Goal weight : 75.8 kilos
Visceral fat level (should be 10) : 20
Body fat percent : 52.3%

Measurements:

Neck : 47.7 cms
chest : 118.4 cms
Abdomon : 128.7 cms
Hip : 121.2 cms
Right arm : 45.1 cms
Left arm : 45.3 cms
Right thigh : 65 cms
Left thigh : 65.1 cms

Inbody score : 42 (was suggested i just focus on getting this over 50)

So the basics of it is....keep building muscle....especially my legs...and watch my diet and hopefully the scales will go down :) Hopefully i can get another one done in 6-8 weeks time.

I then did a hour PT session. Really struggled today...think it was possibly the heat plus for the scan (which was done right before my session) i wasnt allowed to eat or drink for 2 hours PLUS i tested out a new BCAA lol. So my body prolly rebelled a bit.

But saw progress today....been doing some step ups...last time was 3 sets of 10....today was 3 sets of 12. Also a exercise that is a rowing movement on the cable machine..increased...in fact increased every set...think i ended up at 16.75 kilos. Thats one thing i like about my new trainer....very similar to fiona....we do a lot of the same exercises and then my trainer lets me know when im doing more in the set or a higher weight.....allows me to see the progress.

Not a lot else going on...its 37 here today so warm...so im sitting in front of the a/c watching will & grace. I have drank approx 3.7 litres of water....and dinner (chicken, roasted cherry tomatos, spinach and feta cheese) is just about ready!

Enjoy your evening all :)

Sunday :)

Went out to dinner last night....to a fabulous restuarant...had 3 courses and felt no guilt cos it was clean eating food....lots of nutrients!

Yesterday i went to the supplement store. I bought a 2 kilo tub of protein powder, some BCAAs (which i will test out tomorrow), a box of quest bars and a 2.2 litre water bottle :) Actually they gave me the water bottle for free :)

Today I went to the fruit and grocery store and stocked up. So i am all ready for a good week.

I did try coconut oil in my oats and protein powder .... worked a treat :)

So im calorie cycling this week and the aim for at the gym is:

monday : 60 minutes PT
tuesday : 30 minutes PT + 45 minutes cardio
wednesday : zumba + yoga
thursday : pump (if i can make it on time) if not RPM
friday : body pump

I am working saturday so cannot get to the gym....sunday i might try and get a walk in. As i have said so many times....exercise is so key for me and I need to be exercising 5-6 days a week to make progress along with eating clean.

Also tomorrow i have the day off...and getting a body scan done...which should be interesting...moreso in 6-12 weeks to see the progress, but also for my trainer to see any imbalances in my body (right vs left side)

PCOS and taking a more overall approach to my health....

So weight watchers is still not sitting really well with me.

The reason being is it doesnt differentiate between good and bad fats...natural sugars and processed sugars. One example is coconut oil...i have been looking into coconut oil to help with my PCOS (ill discuss more about this further in the post) but one tablespoon of coconut oil is 10 points! I am on 41 points a day and thats 25% of my daily allowance...where as it is actually only 120-130 calories (dependant on brand). While i get ww is basically a high protein/low sugar/low fat diet surely they are aware of the benefits of fats, for our healthy and also our satiety.

The reason I have been looking into coconut oil is to do with my PCOS. It has started to flare up especially over the last 2 months. My skin is not as smooth/clear as it once was and my cycle has started to get a lot more erratic. In december it was awful....cramps for 2 weeks leading up to it and very heavy then this month...no cramping at all and it didnt even last 3 days! Now it could be im getting close to menopause...but to me this just seems like my PCOS. When my PCOS was at its worse i would either go for months without a cycle or "heamorage like" and i dont want either of those situations really. Also when i was smaller i was on a 28 day cycle...i was like clock work now its prolly closer to a 33-35 day cycle. Its not that i love having my cycle LOL but it is very indicative of how healthy my body is internally.

So i have started to research it cos i want to deal with it naturally. And firstly i know the clean eating, cutting out processed foods is the first thing. I have been doing a lot better with this lately (and personally i think thats more important then just eating "low point foods")

The next is I just want to add magnesium and 1 tablespoon of coconut oil to my diet per day. The magnesium is suppose to be good with PCOS and also to help with my muscle recovery (i am also planning to look into BCAAs to help with this) and the coconut oil not only for the PCOS but im also hopeful it will help my joints to a degree as well.

I am planning to mix the coconut oil with my oats in the morning...so oats, protein powder, coconut oil and water.

The other thing i discoverred is about 6-9 months ago i cut out milk cos i suspected it was giving me blocked ears (i still eat cheese and yoghurt) and the blocked ears stopped, twice this week i had milk and guess what? yep blocked ears....since i stopped having the milk again over the last 2 days no blocked ears LOL...so again...back to no milk!

Weigh in day and other things :)

Been a bit slack on the blog posting!

Today was weigh in day....one full week on weight watchers Smart Points and I lost 3.7 kilos :) And I did my waist measurements they were down 5 centimetres.

Last saturday i went to the gym and did 30 minutes on the treadmill and 60 minute pump class. Sunday morning I woke up with pain in my lower shin (so bad I had to take painkillers) I have never had that pain before. Spoke to my trainer last night about it she thinks its from tight calves...so gave me a few preventative things to do (basically rolling and some massage) The pain is a lot better now altho still tender to touch.

So i ended up resting sunday and monday to give my shin a break. Now its pretty pain free. Last night I did a lil warm up on the treadmill then had PT. We did the bench squats again...they do seem to be improving....then we did this balance exercise...turns out we are working that up to proper forward lunges....but progressing slowly to get form and balance correct and then we did some pushups against the smith machine again we are working on this slowly to try and get me to a point to of being able to do them low.

Obviously my food is going pretty good since I lost. My daily points dropped to 41 as of today. And i am going out for dinner tonight and saturday night so thats where my weekly points will be going!

Oh I discoverrred the supplement store across the road from the gym sells "core power foods" so prepared foods...all with grains (sweet potato, brown rice, basamati rice and sweet potato) and high protein...going to go have a look at them....check out the sodium and sugars and how many points they turn out to be. While they are $9.95 a meal...having the correct balance and the time they will save (since i live alone) they may be a worthwhile investment.

Right! Breaks over, back to work!

The end of the week :)

Exercise this week improved :) I went from having done none for weeks to doing some ! LOL

Tuesday I did a PT session....Thursday I did body pump and a PT session (double PT session), tomorrow i am planning to do pump or balance depending on my levels of soreness and 30 minutes on the treadmill.

Next week will exercise plan will look like this:

monday : 30-45 minutes on treadmill and body balance
tuesday : 30-45 minutes on treadmill and PT session
wednesday : zumba
thursday :  Rest day
friday : Rest day
saturday : pump or balance and 30 minutes treadmill
sunday : rest day

So as you can see its slowly building things up.

Things are going really well with my trainer and I can see me making progress with her as a trainer.

Foodwise I feel I need to get tough! I really have to cleanse up the diet. Whilst there is absolutely nothing wrong with treats...I seem to be more about treats!! LOL So i just need to simplify things for a period of time. The first is cleaning out my fridge and cupboards (one of tomorrows jobs) and aim towards eating VERY minimal processed foods. The only time I am going to allow myself is quest bar is if I work out in the mornings (which is usually only once a week). No buying food out and about. No taking money or cards with me that I can willy nilly draw money out for. BUT if i have social plans then i can slightly treat myself. I will still always aim for protein, some fat and good carbs. But may divulge with a entree or small dessert (that said I dont go out for meals that often!) And the other thing....cos giving up diet coke completely wont happen for me LOL...so ive made the agreement with my brain....i can drink diet coke when at home or out for a meal...but its not on at work. It just costs too much plus isnt damn good for me!

I am not saying these changes will have the scales moving any faster ..... but will hopefully get the body shape transforming. Really scale wise my only focus at the moment is to be under 120 kilos by January 31 (I was 124.8 kilos this morning...so its dropping but slowly)

But I also dont know what the scales will do over the next few days as i have my cycle and am bloated so know i am retaining fluid.

Update :)

So... the latest is i am back doing WW.

I saw their "connect" part of the app mentioned on fb yesterday and so had a look and think its brilliant, if you remember my initial reason for going to WW was cos i wanted the support...but i felt that was lacking....well the "connect" part of the app made up for that :)

So i weighed in this morning...125.2 kilos. Did my ww assessment...42 weekly points and 42 daily points (my plan is to save my points for saturday night dinner to have a "cheat meal"

The other news is i did my first PT session with my new trainer Beck. Let me say,,,,,,went soooooooooooo well!! We sat down and talked about my goals....which were obviously weight loss, balance, mobility/movement. I explained how i use to do body combat then i started falling in the class .... so thats a goal to get my confidence back up to get in that class, to get me doing low pushups, to be able to move from a sitting to standing position better (due to being 173 kilos previously ive taught myself to do that via momentum instead of using my muscles correctly) and i also told her a ultimate goal is to get back to running. She said functional training is what she does and by us focusing on making me stronger, my balance, mobility, getting back to running etc the weight loss will come as a by product. Which is the way Fiona used to think...so yes her training and the way she talked about training reminded me a LOT of Fiona....which just made me day! In the session we did some bench squats (sit on a bench and then have to stand up) which is one of my key issues...we focused a lot on me switching on the correct muscles etc....and it was hard LOL but the noticeable thing was every time i didnt think about switching on my core, squeezing my glutes, push thru my heels i couldnt do it...thought about it...and i struggled....it wasnt easy but would manage to do it.

We then did some pushups against the smith machine, she explained when i am doing it i am raising my shoulders which will stop me from going lower. So we focused a lot on my posture....it was still hard...i still didnt go low...but at least i am working on good form :)

We then also did a balance exercise which was hard! LOL

And altho I didnt do heaps...im bloody sore today! LOL...sore quads, butt and back!

End of holidays

So thats it....my holidays are over....back to work tomorrow :(

Cannot say i am looking forward to 5.30am alarms or 8 hours of working LOL....but i am looking forward to getting my routine back.

Since I got back from streaky....ive had good and not so good days. I have no idea what I weigh currently...prolly 124 kilos or so? But i will weigh in tomorrow morning...now i took some current/before pics earlier...in board shorts and a crop top...so hiding absolutely nothing and they are NOT a good look!

My food coach has had me on 1800 calories, 180 grams of protein (which I really struggle to eat) and a cheat meal on saturday nights. I understand the thinking of a cheat meal, and the psychological benefits, but as a food addict i dont think having a "calorie free" meal is a good idea for me, I also suspect 1800 calories may be too high. What has always worked in the past for me was calorie cycling. The thing is ive never calorie cycled with 1800 calories cos i feel the "high days" are going to end up too high calories....which as a food addict is not ideal. My plan is 80% clean eating and eating to a lifestyle i can sustain...so chicken and brocolli for lunch wont be part of my plan as there is  no way i can keep that up for the rest of my life (i feel my calories should be down towards 1500 calories...but will leave at 1800 for the moment)

So I felt a few rules are needed :)

-No baking (it just puts temptation in front of me)
-Limit pasta to once a week/or 1 yiros per week
-Eat 1-2 pieces of fruit per day
-Protein and vegies for dinner
-2 litres of water per day
-no hungry jacks, kfc or maccas (i dont tend to go to them these days anyways)

My goal by January 31 regardless how much I weigh in the morning is to get under the 120's and then after that to aim for 2.5 kilos per month. Going by the I could be in or very close to being in my XL LJ motivational tanks by June :)

Tomorrow as well as being back at work, I start with my new trainer....ive not had a lot of success with trainers over the last 18 months or so....so hopefully this all works well!

Being Grateful

Our headspace is integral to our weight loss.

I remember when I was quite small I often posted that i had a "inner happiness" it wasnt that I was happy about any one specific thing, i just felt very calm and happy with my life. And i think this is a really important part of weight loss.

When we are in a negative headspace, hating the world, being down on not only the world but ourselves is it likely that we are going to do the work that weight loss takes? I dont think so.

And dont get me wrong, cos i think this is very common in obese people, and who can blame us. The world can seem shitty. And it can feel like all our problems are because we are overweight. But here is the kicker, the only way we can move past this is to change our attitude (Sorry people its true! Only WE have the ability to change OUR lives)

This weight loss gig when you have 50 kilos, 100 kilos or more to lose can just seem plain daunting and too hard can't it? When in reality we all know it is a case of eating less and moving more, but we also know a integral part of it all is what goes on between our ears.

One of the first ways I believe we can do this is to start to be grateful, and not just say "I am grateful". But actively considering and thinking about it everyday. If I was to list the things I am grateful even tho I have been in a negative headspace the last few years, I could say I am grateful for:

• my job
• my home
• my supportive weight loss friends
• my sister and her family
• my financial ability to pay for gym membership and PTs
• my computer and ipad that allows me to put time into my weight loss journey
• my love of nutrition and researching it
• my supportive gym
• that there are places in adelaide (torrens river, semaphore beach, mawson lakes) that allow me to go walking and see animals
• that i have wardrobes full of Lorna Jane, Running bare and russell athletic clothes in every size from XS to XL
• the fun, crazy environment I work in
• my proactive, slightly competive nature
• the opportunities that will exist
• all the books I have on my ipad waiting for me to read!

So as you can see....when we start to think about it there are things we can be grateful for. It doesnt matter if you have one thing on your list or 27 million. As long as you can go I am grateful for such and such, and think about it seriously it is going to make you feel better about your life. Doesnt matter if you are grateful for your cat....or the flowers that are in bloom....put your mind to it we can all be grateful for ONE thing.

If this is something you really struggle with you can buy "grateful journals", in australia places like kikki.k sell them. Buy one and aim to identify one thing everyday that you are grateful for.

Once you start to become aware on a daily basis of the things you have to be grateful for you will hopefully become happier. It doesnt mean you will never have sad or unhappy moments....but when you do you know what you do? You pull out your grateful journey and read it...reflecting on the things you were grateful for.

Once you are grateful and happier what will be a by product of this (hopefully) is you will become more proactive. Cos a happy person wants the best out of their life dont they? They just want it to be better....and by better....I mean whatever the definition of "better" is to you. For me it means working on my body and mind and just being happier.

This is by no means a blue print of how things will work for everyone. This is how I feel my mind works....I have been thinking a lot about how grateful I am lately, and how good a place I am currently in and felt it was important to write it all down, and maybe it would even help someone.

Most of all....be nice to yourself!

How to lose weight....

So I thought I would details my plan...things that I feel works....and has worked for me in the past.....on how to lose weight...the Kazz way ;) Keep in mind there are plenty of ways to lose weight....this is simply what works for me. So here we go.....

FOOD

This is a very general rule. If you are over 100 kilos eat 1800 calories....if you are under 100 kilos eat 1500 calories...do this for 2 weeks....then see how the losses are going....if you are losing too rapidly add 100 calories....if you are not losing deduct 100 calories (and keep doing this weekly till you get your losses at the right pace...aim to lose 500 grams to 1 kilo per week)

Eat clean/unprocessed foods

Limit your grains in the evenings.

Calorie cycle (I am not doing this currently but for my body I swear by it)


EXERCISE

This will be different for everyone. Walking is a good place to start. If you have been exercising for a while....aim to incorporate cardio, strength training and flexibility work.

For myself the aim will be 5 days of cardio per week - at least 2 days of strength train and 1-2 days of flexibility work (pilattes, body balance, yoga)

For myself personally this year I will be aiming to do a mix of group fitness classes : boxing, body pump, body balance, pilates, TTT, zumba and my gym is introducing metafit and HIIT classes which i will hopefully have the guts to attend LOL

SLEEP

Dont underestimate....get the appropriate sleep. Not just enough to get by but how much your body feels best at. For me that 7.5-8 hours. So i try and make sure I am trying to get to sleep at least 8 hours before my alarm will go off.

RELAX

Its important to give urself some you time and relax. Whether its reading, painting, playing computer games, whatever....some downtime to just relax is very healthy for you

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

This is something fiona use to tell me. When i enjoyed the journey (ie at the gym, enjoying it, cooking and experimenting with recipes) i always did so much better then when i tried to force it. Find some clean recipes....and try and cook (and trust me im no great cook!)....when we do that we feel proud, we feel like we are accomplishing, these things make us feel confident and happy....and thats how we need to feel to be successful :)

So thats it....thats the keys that work for me!

Happy new year :)

My plan was to write this post last night but I fell asleep way too early LOL

So yesterday I went out with Tania and Martine for lunch, We shared a entree of bruschetta and i had a pasta with a rose sauce with chicken and avocado. Was very good to catch up with them and just talk :)

So here is my goals....of what I want to accomplish, want to buy, want to do:

To accomplish:

1. Lose 25 kilos
2. Squat and deadlift between 50-65 kilos (50% of my body weight)
3. Be able to do low pushups
4. Build up to 17.5 kilos on each end of body pump bar for squats, 7.5 kilos on each end of pump bar for chest and back track.
5. Run 5km (I may not get small enough to do this one)

Want to buy:

1. Gold necklace with a charm of significance
2. Winter trench coat and winter parka
3. Winter boots
4. Make up
5. New dinner set/cutlery/saucepan set
6. Thermamix (maybe)
7. Gold ring

Want to do:

1. Find the perfume that is "me"
2. Go see a movie or a live performance once a month
3. Read more
4. Colour
5. Look at getting back into cross stitch
6. Start running again/try park run
7. Do more things that make me happy
8. Spend more time with friends who are on this journey with me and also expand my social life
9. Put in 100% at the gym

I am very aware that the best way (for me anyways) to have a good headspace for this journey, is to acknowledge all the good in my life, look around and see all the things i could be doing (last year i was definitely in a rut of work, computer at night, sleep)...I really want to embrace all my hobbies, goodtimes, friends....I think by doing that and being happy (which I honestly feel at the moment...I am very aware of how blessed and grateful i am) when we feel better about our life....when we are productive, proactive, grateful....the more likely we are to be successful at this weight loss gig.

Because it is the first day of the year, I will update the weight :) Prior to xmas (21/12) i was 122.7 when I got home and weighed on my birthday (30/12) i was 123.8 and today (1/1) i was 122.5 kilos...so its all moving in the right direction :) Official weigh in day will be wednesday when ill check my waist measurement too (was 102cms on 30/12)

Have a great day all :)