Good day :)

Well today has been a good day :) I woke up and the number on my scales was AWFUL lol maybe ill post tomorrow mornings results lol. Anyway went into town met up with fiona ...we ran from the zoo to the weir along the torrens which was 2.17km...then did squats, tricep pushups, pullups, and then we went back...not sure how much we ran...maybe 750 metres to 1km? My foot was playing up so i kinda took it easy plus i was dying! I then walked into the mall and then home again...all up i burnt 1724 calories no doubt aided by todays heat (38 degrees) Right now I am so dog gone tired...soooooooooo exhausted....about to have a protein shake then tonight its italian before a early nite. Yeh i know im not the party animal for NYE im more interested in waking up tomorrow morning refreshed and ready to tackle 2012. Crazy to think this year has gone. But i am really looking forward to reaching goals and all that 2012 will bring me....even considering reactivating my pink sofa membership!

This running thing is really bloody hard...surely one day its gotta improve....just doesnt feel like i am making any progress in that area YET!

Anyway a quiet nite for me...hope everyone who visits my journal has a safe and happy NYE....ive had LOTS of private messages from people off track lately...tomorrow is the perfect time to get back on track and create the life you want...make sure you make the most of it :)

Well time to get serious. My birthday is over - i dont go out for NYE so theres no more festivities so back into everything tomorrow morning. Back to tracking.Ive gained AT LEAST 5 kilos...to scared to get on the friggin scales lol but my LJ flashdance pants are tight...eek! And the jeans i bought just on saturday are too tight too :( But you know...what goes up must come down!

So as i mentioned i am training with fiona till the resolution run...so we are training tomorrow morning. Tomorrow night i might even go check out the steps at the nth adelaide football club...should be quiet if i go around 6pm...presuming its not too hot. Sunday morning i am planning to start the year perfectly right by walking into the city...walking around the torrens and home again...im figuring that will work out to be at least a 10km walk. Whilst i still havent got the all clear to do "any" exercise...next week i am getting back into things at the gym. The gym is closed monday ....but the rest of the week will be :

tuesday : 7 flights of stairs + 2km run (treadmill) + weight exercises
wednesday : 7 flights of stairs + free style cycle class
thursday : step + body balance
friday : 7 flights of stairs + 2km run (treadmill) + weight exercises
saturday : train with fiona

Everytime i sit down to work out my exercise routine since i hurt my back frustrates me...previously i would just slot in the classes i could make and that i enjoyed...now cos several i cannot do and also crunches are a no go now so i end up getting frustrated, i can only run and run up stairs a certain amount of time before i am going to go off the deep end :( This is where the fact that im not the type of person who goes into the gym uses cardio equipment then does their lil weight work out then goes home...really works against me...while i dont really "enjoy" working out...i do find the classes easier to get thru.

Anyway enuff rambling....best get organised for some sleep so i have some chance of having some energy for tomorrows training

My attitude to food :)

Ive still been thinking lots about what I want as goals as 2012. I truly think 2011 was a really good year :) I want to get down to 72 kilos by the end of May and then once there make a decision on whether I want to go further down or not (so another 11 kilos) I want to fit into a medium pair of Lorna Jane flashdnce pants and have them fit loose enough that I can work out in them. To run a 5km run (ahhhhhhhhhhh that may be a dream!) ... to challenge myself with different things at the gym...bootcamp...maybe the running group. And most of these things are all measurable goals....the big one that I have been thinking about lately and which is not measurable...is my attitude to foods. When i started on this journey, the only vegetables i ate was potato, tomatos and onions LOL. Late 2009 i remember sitting down with Fiona and having this conversation where she said...go try one different vegetable which you have no misconceptions of. So i bought a eggplant....and actually liked it! Since then fiona and i discuss food quite regularly...readers of my journal would know i got very interested in organic foods...and started trying more foods. Over the last few weeks ive had a few chats with Fiona about how she maintains her weight without tracking food....what i realise more and more from these chats we have is that she has such a "healthy" attitude to foods...she eats lots of different foods...when going out for dinner will look for vegetarian options or fish...(not creamy laden pasta dishes like me!) She looks outside the box not sticking to the same things all the time...and aiming for a big variety...yet she will still if having a night out will have a glass or two of wine and maybe even some GOOD chocolate...i know my eating has improved a lot over the last few years. But i think it can still improve more. The last 6 months or so ive had the same breakfast and same lunch nearly every day. I wanna get back to having more variety...more foods...more barley...quinoa...a wider variety of fruit...fish...different salads...i think for this reason the 12wbt will be good for me as the meal plans are set...they will take a bit more preparation but im sure i can manage that. So once the 12wbt program finishes i will hopefully have more calorie friendly meals...hopefully it will lead me to discoverring more foods...and i really wanna focus on the attitude of food being what it really is and that is fuel .... but also learning to enjoy in moderation....trying new recipes (going to give that a whirl on my birthday not going for the normal food options!), not having chocolate every day (god this is worse then my diet coke habit i think!!)...i really do see fiona as a mentor and the more i talk to her the more i realise i hope more and more her attitudes to food and eating rub off on me. Im hoping with this focus i will slowly focus more on the nutrition AND fitness side of things. I want to get to that point where i dont look at it like "oh its xmas so i mite as well go have hungry jacks" or "ill just have this chocolate i will be back on track tomorrow" i want my mind to be healthy about it....and for it to lose importance in my life..."eat to live not live to eat".... January 1 i am going to start counting 1200 cals and following michelle bridges crunch time plan....cannot believe only 3 more days of the year left!!!

Work was hectic as today! GAWD thankfully tomorrow is my friday and then three days of again!! YAY!!

I have got in contact with a girl who is doing 12WBT who lives only a few streets away! So with luck we will get along and i will have someone to do a workout in the local area once or twice a week :) I am very sore from yesterdays training session with Fiona...my inner thighs are so sore...dread to think how they will feel tomorrow!! JEEPERS

Back into it....

I am so glad I got back on track yesterday and didnt delay it till January 1 :) Yesterday morning the scales said 86.3 kilos. Yesterday I ate 1425 cals and burnt 400 cals with a 6.77km walk. This morning the scales had dropped back to 84.1 kilos :) My goal is to be under 82 kilos on January 1...not sure how I will go with that LOL, considering friday is my birthday lol but Im going to be on track every other day and planning to do body combat on the morning of my birthday. This morning i met up with Fiona and we trained for a hour...lots more running...50 tricep dips...some back stretches and pushups...630 calories burnt :) More then happy with that. Must admit the running was super hard today. I mean its hard anytime for me lol but today even harder! lol Im loving training with Fiona outdoors ... nice being outdoors in the freshair....still torturous tho lol.

My back has been really good the last few days....I expect its due to not sitting at my desk for 8 hours a day. I have to work 2 days then another 3 days off so hopefully that will all help. Ive been thinking about goals after reading lots of forum posts for the 12WBT i think a big one is going to be to wear size medium lorna jane (of course!) flash dance pants so they fit me loose enough so i can work out in them. I currently wear size XL and work out in them. The size L fit me but not loose enough to work out in yet. I realised too when thinking about this that i thought the smallest size for my butt would be a size 12. Size 10 has never been a thought to me....its weird to think im in size 14 now...(altho only just)and the next step is a size 12! One of the trainers at the gym once told me...when you get to size 10-12 stop the scales...I doubt i will do that...but its crazy to think i am getting close to that. The other thing i have noticed....is i can feel my hip bones when lying down...i noticed today i can when im standing up wooo hooo!!!!

Tonight im cooking something a bit different....(one of the reasons i am doing 12WBT is to get more meal ideas!) so im going to cook up some barley, add some bacon and capsicum, mushrooms, spring onions etc...hopefully it will be yummii!

Christmas Day

Its xmas afternoon. This has been a interesting week or so. Ive been off track altho not awfully so. The main damage has been eating too much chocolate and eating carbs at night. What i am discoverring is most of these foods i thought i missed...i dont really miss..I went to mums for dinner friday night. Mum hasnt cooked a real turkey for years....but mum, myself and my sister became converts to "turkey roll"...i had it at mums on friday nite....and realised it is so processed and just not as tasty as i imagined. It was fine to eat but not that yummy. I decided not to have it today. Along with my bad eating i decided to have takeaway for lunch yesterday....2 of my faves have always been kfc and hungry jacks bacon cheese burger...i went with the hungry jacks and all i can say is BLURGH....the chips were all dry and yucky and the burger really was not tasty as all...id prefer a home made burger any day. I have now got to the point of missing "feeling hungry" its like ur constantly full from all this grazing...and its a horrible, heavy feeling as well as feeling lethargic....HATE IT! Im getting back on track in the morning...i dont plan to eat much for the rest of the day i feel so freaking heavy....its gross :(

Xmas day has been very quiet. My mum gave me money as i mentioned yesterday and i bought jeans, my sister and her kids and hubby gave me a purse, necklace, card game and the best present EVER a traditional skipping rope! Made of actual rope with wooden handles...OMG i love LOVE love it....hehe (doesnt take much to make me happy eh?) I did 253 jumps with it this morning (Fiona has told me to do 1500 jumps with a skipping rope this week....eek!) My sisters kids got ipods....so did facetime with my niece today lol was cute as hell she is walking around the house chit chatting to me about what she got....then says to me "what did santa bring you" LOL soooooooo damn cute!!!

I jarred my neck this morning...second time ive done it since i was last at the physio...not sure why its happening (its actually the 3rd time since i started to get back pain) im guessing its related but its annoying...and of course painful and makes me worry im never going to fully get over this back issue.

Tomorrow morning i will weigh in and get back on track. Time to start preparing myself for 2012 and all the goodness and hard work it will bring :) I know the scales are up...im guessing 85 kilos at the moment (yes eek!!!) my aim would be to at least be down to 82 kilos by january 1.

Enjoy you christmas all :)

Xmas Eve :)

WOW xmas eve...seems like just yesterday it was the start of the year!!! Food wise i havent been so good...have discoverred a few things....hungry jacks is not all its cracked up to be! Had it and thought BLAH couldnt believe it i use to love their food lol Im also missing being hungry at meal time....i tend to graize.....and i seriously miss those hunger pains. Exercise wise tho ive been super good!!! My back seems to respond so good when i exercise...when i go 24 hours or so with no exercise i tend to get stiff and the pain worse. So thursday night i did body balance. Friday morning i ran 2kilometres (yes me!!!) then did body combat....then i trained with Fiona today (YAY!!) we did a 2km run @ a speed of 8 .... then i "jumped" 500 times with a skipping rope (broken up into 2 x 200 jumps and 1 x 100 jumps) then i did 12 pushups with my feet on a bench ... my goodness never done that before !!! Somehow i managed it altho i wasnt going down very low.

I then went shopping...mum gave me money for xmas and i wanted jeans. Ive always worn target jeans...so was super exciting to get some from jeanswest (went to buy them at just jeans but their customer service sucked so they werent getting my money) the guy at jeanswest was fabulous....so i got two pairs both size 14!!! YAY Then wandered to rebel sport got 3 new workout outfits. Adidas and Running Bare ones...all size 10 :)(Progress pic of black jeans and one of the tops below), I then bought also some resistance bands and two new books (a karin slaughter one...and the sweet poison one on sugar in your diet) Great shopping day!!

I am going to map out a 2km run to do in the morning using my runkeeper program to track it ! Then prolly tomorrow afternoon i will do a 6km walk (need to keep this back moving!!), and possibly tuesday me and Fiona are going to go and do a outdoor run...really working on getting ready for this run on January 13!

I have some plans for next year....one of them is getting my own website up which Fiona and her partner are helping with (okay they are actually doing it! lol) :) and also want to look at possibly doing some motivational ABN number yesterday YAY :) so thats another step closer to things.

Ive planned some treats for tomorrow :) Ham and cheese croissant for breakfast with chocolate milk. Lunch roast chicken and pasta salad. Not going to have any bread or anything. Strawberries, bananas and blueberries. My "dessert" i bought 6 mini mud cakes decorated like xmas puddings....they are about the size of a 20 cent piece...i figure they will equal approximately one slice of mudcake but ill feel like im eating more cos there is "six" of them. The only other thing ive got is some jatz and french onion dip. So i am certainly having some treats but im not going nutso. And December 26 back on track. Going to track on my iphone with myfitnesspal its set the calories at 1430 and ill do that till 12WBT starts :)

Run kazz, run....

I signed up for michelle bridges 12wbt today. I need to now sit down and read thru their forums....lots of info within that forum i suspect. Had a good food day today and burnt 700 calories tonite. Went out running with a friend....we ran 1.75 km then took a small break which involved some tricep dips and tricep pushups against a bench (does that count as a break?????) then we ran the 1.75km again....second time i got a stitch and had to stop but apart from that it was good. I really didnt think id finish one lot of the 1.75kms so pretty impressed i did that :) Wonder how sore I am going to be tomorrow? I suspect sore thighs lol I must say after barely doing any exercise for close to a month thanks to this injured back i was very, very impressed with how well I did :)

Tomorrow nite im back to the gym for body balance. Think it will be good to do a good stretch on these legs of mine!! LOL Must admit i am ready for xmas to be done with lol. I jsut wanna try and maintain and get to the end of the year and get stuck into things again starting January 1. I think come Jan 1 i will cut back to 1300 cals and attempt YET AGAIN to cut out the diet coke lol....i really would like to get down to 72 kilos by end of May.

My physio rang me today to see how I pulled up after body balance. Ive had some pain today so ive made a appointment to see her again next thursday after work. (only time i could get). I asked her about doing combat and she said i should be fine with that so will give that a whirl friday morning.

Ohhhh I got my iphone!!! Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Now just need to buy iphone cover etc and then i will be ready to start using it and giving out my new number (thats a pain in the ass!) but very happy with it...its soooooooo pretty hehehe :)

Okays these old legs of mine need a nice long shower after tonights exercise...enjoy your night all

Back to the gym :)

Went to the gym this morning...yep actually got my ass out of bed early. Ran 1km on the treadmill then did a 60 min body balance class. So burnt 525 calories. Today was a lot better day...i had one fun size mars bar...(which i always allow myself after the gym) but no caramello bears or freddo frogs etc so thats a plus :) I noticed too i wasnt so preoccupied with food today. So that was good. Tomorrow i am going running outside with a friend....have mapped out a 1.7km run...ive only ever run about 1km outside (apart from shuttle runs) so will be bloody interesting to see if i make it. I was telling ryan about it today (in other words whining about the fact i was going to do it) and he was like i bet you come in on thursday and say u did it plus a extra 300 metres to make it two kilometres,,,,ass,,,,now i feel i gotta LOL otherwise i look like a weenie...anyway we will wait and see. Then thursday night will do body balance and maybe a short 1km run...might just go a lil faster. I am really so far from being able to run 7.5km...not sure how this is all going to go. The body balance and running is going fine...i know part of my issue is my head space that i am worried i am going to hurt my back again. Everytime i think about weights i think nope not going to do them again cos i dont wanna hurt my back, and i know i cant have that attitude long term. When i think about doing 12wbt one of the things that puts me off is the workouts i am worried i wont be able to do. I know theres beginner programs,,,,i am meaning i am worried i will hurt my back again. Hate this cos ive never been worried about hurting myself before...but hate the thought of hurting my back again.

Anyway onto more exciting things...my iphone left the warehouse today! I am suppose to be recieving it tomorrow....im very excited!!! Ive wanted one for so long...but specially for the running apps!!! Anyone know of any good running or fitness apps apart from runkeeper or nike....lemme know!

Getting my head back on track!

Im giving myself a bit of a kick in the butt. When i got my injury i initially maintained my weight by continuing to eat around 1300-1400 cals. But then i got peeved. So i did a few things i shouldnt do...firstly i decided i was going to cut my snacks out. I then also threw in a no carb day...it worked...i got under 80 kilos. I had another no carb day yesterday....and today have eaten carbs, carbs, carbs and more carbs. You would think i would learn. When i cut out my snacks...and ive been doing this for the majority of the last 7-10 days...ive only been eating 900-1000 calories. The cutting out the snacks probably isnt that big a concern if you eat decent size meals...but i only have a sandwich at lunch....and dinner is only a piece of meat (about 180 grams raw), some kind of vegetable (mushrooms or cherry tomatos as a rule) and 30 grams of feta cheese. In fact most of those days i prolly wasnt even hitting 900 cals. Yup just checked...was a smidgen under 900 cals. Which was stupid of me. I had this thought process of one...just wanting to get to goal....two...well if people who have weight loss surgery eat under 1200 cals then surely i can survive doing it. But its basically put me in a bad cycle...yesterday i ate no carbs and didnt even hit 900 cals...and today i wanna eat every carb in site. One of my other problems is chocolate...which seems to be freaking everywhere at the moment, i have never been a big chocolate eater in the past but i certainly seem to be wolfing the stuff down. Its nothing else i am eating bad...everything else is good foods...but i think ive kinda caused this myself ive restricted myself so much but i can get a freddo frog for under 100 calories so i can fit that in. When in reality i would be better to have some fruit. I have read frequently recently that if you eat your BMR (mine is a lil over 1500) and then burn on average 500 cals per day you theoretically should lose half a kilo a week. I also remember when reading Jillians book on losing the last 10-20 pounds (i want to lose some where between 8 pounds and 25 pounds) anyway she talked about how when you fall into that category you should lose slower and not have as big calorie deficit. She recommended 500-700 calorie deficit per day. so if i was to follow the theory of eat at your BMR so 1500 cals...and aim to burn 500 cals on average per day...i would end up about where JM recommends. So im going to go back to 1500 cals of good wholesome food. Im also going to work on cutting out this bloody chocolate...not so much worried about drinking a hot chocolate or having a chocolate flavoured protein shake but the chocolate itself. Im gonna try and just get to xmas day with no chocolate...baby steps people! And the other aim is to start to get the exercise going. The fact of the matter is im really not in a rush to get to goal. And i think its going to be much healthier if i go there slowly...while i do always hold this huge emphasis on what the scales say i really am going to try and not let small losses or stay the sames or even fluctuations bug me too much....maybe that should be my new years resolution!

I should have gone to the gym tonite. But finding it hard to motivate myself to go simply to do "cardio equipment". Ive never been a lover of the gym...but bloomin cardio equipment is my least favourite...talk about boring the crap out of me. But with not doing pump or boxing anymore...and knowing i do actually have this run i should be getting myself organised a lil bit with i know i need to start working on the cardio, specially as i have sat on my ass for the last 3.5 weeks. This week i am on lates...i can actually get to the gym at 7am and not leave till 8am and would make it to work, tomorrow and friday morning there is classes i could do...body balance tomorrow and body combat on friday. I would say there is RPM on thursday too but im not a fan of RPM and not a fan of the instructor so will skip that. BUT wednesday and thursday morning i GUESS i could plop myself on that bloody cardio equipment. I could at least do 45 minutes. On top of that thursday nite ill do body balance, wednesday nite im gonna do some outdoor running stuff, and tomorrow nite could do some cardio stuff. That would see me off to the end of the week (friday nite am off to mums since i wont see her xmas day). Saturday morning ill do "something" as well...maybe more outdoor stuff. This really is up to me. I need to get my head in the game...eating wise i need to get back to eating enough regularly and eating good foods....and i really need to start to adapt to exercise now its different cos of my back. Why cant everything just be bloomin simple???? hehe

I am off work for 4 days this weekend like a damn normal person which i cannot wait for.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh and i ordered a iphone!!! OMG EXCITED!!! I have thought about getting one for sooooooooooo long. I normally dont have a plan im on prepaid but you cant get a iphone on prepaid and even the androids i dont think are recent ones. So last nite thought bugger it....so i have actually ordered a 32GB WHITE 4S...should arrive on wednesday...cannot wait...already know ill be getting the nike and runkeeper apps so i will know distances i am running and walking...no more guessing for this girl! Ive currently got a nokia e63 its done me good....but its starting to freeze bit...so definitely time for a new one! Oh AND am getting a kindle for xmas!!! Was hoping to get that book "sweet poison" on kindle...but not available :( but ive already created a wishlist of books on amazon lol so i think xmas day may be spent eating and reading (and some form of exercise i guess! lol)

And no one die of shock but i am seriously thinking about setting one of my goals for 2012 to get my licence! That and start the PT course...i keep thinking about that one....and then keep thinking...i prolly wouldnt see it thru so dont bother.

Back to the gym tomorrow. Im glad to be going back but a bit annoyed i cant throw myself back into things. Suspect now i got the injury thru the impact of hitting a boxing bag in my boxing classes (i was doing 1-2 hours boxing per week) or from incorrect form in pump or lifting too high a weight in pump. Which leads me to not doing boxing at least for a while...and not doing pump...so basically im not doing weights....not really sure long term what i will do in relation to that....really dont wanna risk doing weights unless im with a trainer and i dont wanna do PT, and have no intention of doing pump classes. Which really doesnt leave a huge number of classes for me to do that i dont mind....cycling (and theres only one free style cycling class per week as im not a fan of RPM), body combat and body balance. The "dance" style classes im not a fan off...altho i will do bodyjam tomorrow...mostly because its the only class i can make (except for pump in the morning which is out of course) The frustrating thing in this all...is i expected as i got closer to goal and while at goal and maintaining i would be increasing the weight work NOT cutting it out. Whilst step is one that could be do-able i dont like doing it cos i can never keep up with the choreography. Soooo it kinda cuts out most classes i was previously doing....only cycling and body balance of my previous plans am i still going to do....and i only use to do each once a week. Then i wonder if i should just stick to doing dvds etc at home...Jillian has a yoga one which would prolly be a good one to do....so at this stage really not sure what ill do exercise wise once the new year starts (really the next few weeks is mostly going to be me trying to get my back moving more...wish that wasnt the case...wish it was going to be about running...and burning huge amounts of calories....and body shaping...but alas :()

I have considered doing michelle bridges 12wbt....not for the group work or any of the social aspect....not interested in that at all....mostly just for her 1200 calorie menus....exercise wise id prolly be stuck with the same situation...a pile of stuff i cant do without risking my back again.

Went out for dinner last nite with Martine...major carb overload LOL but was super yummy and great company :) Today im doing a no carb day.

Tonights been interesting. I am going out for dinner with Martine tomorrow night. So decided to go thru my wardrobe (i give most of my clothes to martine when they no longer fit) anyway....so i pulled out a long halter neck dress (see pics below) size 12 and it fits. Front on it looks pretty good...side on i can see my tummy and ass need work. Then i found a long size 14 straight cue skirt...made of this gorgeous material. I had forgotten about it. Last time i tried it on it was too tight around my tummy and hips....anyway so i pulled it on expecting it to be tight still...but it wasnt!! Slid it on .... threw a singlet on with it and thought i looked okay (see pic below) i took a photo and looked at it....and was astounded. Its the first time ive worn a straight skirt in years and years. My hips dont look terribly huge or out of proportion and looking at that picture makes me realise....if i never lost another gram of weight .... that would not be the end of the world. Now dont get me wrong...i still wanna lose another 11-12 kilos...in some ways thats up to my body...while "68 kilos" sounds like a nice number to get too...i do have excess skin...i might get to 70 or 72 or 75 or even 77 and might body may decide its not gonna budge any further....and if that happens....thats actually okay....no matter what weight or when i get to it....i still have lots of toning to do...whether i end up at 68 kilos 0r 77 kilos....the next few years will still be me reshaping my body...toning up more....building some muscle....and growing stronger...so its a bizarre feeling to think i dont HAVE to see the scales go further down...to think "im healthy" i set out on this journey to get healthy....to not become confined to my home....to stop getting kidney infections and bronchitis all the time....to go out on dates....to live a active life...and to get some resemblance of a social life....and you know what??? Ive got those things...i might not have the number i hope for yet....but the bigger picture is ive done what i set out to do....dont get me wrong im not suggesting im at the end of the journey.....i dont think i ever will be....but i feel like im at a different stage of the journey....not quite at maintenance...but getting incredibly close....and after taking care of this injury...my focus i guess now is more on body shaping....and meeting some fitness goals like running.

My back is better today too! So i think body balance last nite helped! That combined with physio of course.... :) Its nice not taking pain killers anymore LOL...i hated that drowsy feeling...doing nothing but sleep and working.

Back to the gym :)

Well i survived a work day with no painkillers YAY :) My physio rang me today to check how i was...she told me "move your back but respect your body" so thats what i am doing :) Ive been all thinking i need to get back into the running quick smart cos im worrying about the resolution run in 4 weeks....but really my focus needs to be simply focusing on moving my back more. So while normally my focus is calories burnt, calories burnt, calories burnt...especially the next week or so my focus will be to do a class most days,,,,and ill stick to just a hour or so per day. No crazyness just yet ;) So next week my plan will be:

mon - body jam
tues - body balance
wed - not sure yet
thur - body balance
fri - body combat
sat - might do some running drills

Have decided no boxing or pump for a while. Starting to suspect it is the boxing that bought this injury on....so leaving that for a while.

I went on the treadmill for 15 minutes before body balance....when i was going my normal speed on that i could feel it on my back so had to go pretty slow. Body balance i really didnt feel my back the entire time :) but has been a bit tender since...altho mostly tender the first 10 minutes or so. I dont think the pain is a bad thing....just need to ensure im not getting the real sharp pains.

Work put on a free bbq at work for lunch today....i had some of it....not a lot...just a patty, a sausage, some bread and a lil bit of potato salad.

Weigh In Result - 79.5 kilos!!! :) :)

Well today has been a fab day!!! I woke up and TA-DA 79.5 kilos on the scales!!! So I have now lost 91.4 kilos (201 pounds) Im so relieved to have reached that mark. I then went shopping :) Went to rebel sport bought two tshirts...a adidas and a running bare one...both size 10 :) and i then went to Lorna Jane...put a top on order...and then bought 2 pairs of flashdance pants....they are a size smaller then my current ones....still tight...definitely show of my fat thighs but ready for me to wear when they fit nicely....they were on special 2 pairs for $100 so couldnt pass them up at that price....plus they gave me a $20 gift voucher to use in January :) I also went op shopping...bought 4 new tops....all size S and XS :)

Then i went to the physio....turns out i sprained my vertebrae facet joint....she manipulated it....and told me to get back to the gym LOL so fabbbbbbbbbbbbb news!!! Basically she said thats the only treatment i need...gave me some exercises to do at home. She told me i will prolly feel like its a lil bruised tomorrow and may feel twinges etc when working out but not to be scared its the movement i need.

I realised something really bizarre today too!! Im not a touchy feely person. I normally avoid hugging people at all costs...but i have noticed lately im getting better at this with friends etc when they hug me. Anyway....so i know my physio shes my body combat instructor (and yeh she is kinda good looking ;) lol) anyway at the end of the session and when i was leaving she gave me a hug and i didnt freak out or try to avoid her or anything crazy...i really am changing!! LOL

Below is a couple of pics from todays clothes....the pants are tight fitting so not overly attractive :)

Some changes...

My scales were up to 82.2 kilos yesterday morning...so i am trialling something i had considered for a while...yesterday i ate 1150 calories...leaning towards carb foods....today i am having a carb free day (except for the carbs in my vegies) so when i tracked it 6% carbs which is tiny compared to my normal 35-40% carbs and im sticking around 1000-1100 cals. The main thing i am doing is cutting out my snacks. Eating 1300 calories i was obviously maintaining my weight...obviously not exercising i need less cals...so i am changing it around a bit...tomorrow i will eat 1300-1500 cals...so im basically doing that cycle this week...will see what the scales do....if they dont move much...then ill just go back to calorie cycling 1250 cals next week. But knowing my body i think it will respond REALLY well to the no carb days...which will only be 2 a week. So breakfast today was 2 eggs with feta, tomato, milk, and baby spinach all scrambled (i love eggs :)) then for lunch i am going to make a tuna and feta and vegetable fritatta. Dinner will be steak and vegetables. As a side note my scales did drop back to 81.3 kilos...the fluctuation I am sure is related to my cycle being due.

My back seems quite good today...very little pain (last had painkillers on sunday morning) not sure if its cos the painkillers may still be in my system or it is actually improving. Have noticed since the massage on friday i have been getting a "tingling sensation" in the muscle...no idea if that is good or bad...but so far today seems good...the real test will be tomorrow. Tomorrow arvo i am seeing the physio too so will have a good idea about what exercise i can do....and how i can build up my exercise again without redamaging it. Really would like to get back to exercise ASAP but not at the expense of delaying the recovery.

Today and tomorrow I am off work...housework, washing and resting today :) Tomorrow im off to Lorna Jane! To get some of the clothes i currently want LOL just saw they have another new singlet i want....geeeeeeesh!!! I love that they constantly bring out new stuff....lol my bank account doesnt love it so much....plus this month they have 2 pairs of flashdance pants for $100 so im off to buy a couple of pairs in size Large....Im currently wearing XL they are rather loose on my but i love the way they fit...but while they are cheap i want the size Large ones...im also going to buy AT LEAST one new top...maybe two hehe ;)

This injury is turning out to be VERY frustrating. Im tired of being sleepy from pain killers, im tired of living the whole....work...rest...eat...sleep... i miss the gym itself and just living a more active life. I hate knowing its prolly going to be several weeks at least till i have another loss :( I mean I am maintaining my weight so i know thats good but gawd dammit i just want to get under 80 kilos...it feels like getting under that would be the hardest thing. Altho i realise if i was exercising i quite possibly would be there by now :( I realise the bonus is that i am maintaining my loss and not gaining...but grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! its kinda like everything ive been working for is kinda onhold...i know its not...not really...and it is what it is....and maybe this injury is my bodies way of saying it needs a rest (clutching at straws anyone lol)

Plus my cycle is due in a few days...so just gotta remain very focused to ensure no bad eating...maybe once my cycle is gone i will dip under 80 kilos (can only hope right?)

Working today...hanging out for 5pm tomorrow when ill get 2 days off and physio appointment wednesday afternoon :)

Update on my back :)

Well my back does seem to have improved slightly. I saw a massage therapist today and he did trigger point massage on it...his gut instinct is i have damaged the intercostal muscle which is the muscle between the ribs if not that (and he doesnt believe this is likely) a hairline fracture of one of my ribs. He basically has told me to see a physio (i have a appointment on wednesday), that i can do stretching exercises (so im guessing body balance) but no exercise where my heart rate goes above 50% of my maximum heart rate and no building of muscles currently. So in one sense its good news...just that i am limited. I have some very wise and educated friends on facebook who have also given me some advice...to take about 6 deep breaths every hour as well as some deep coughs (as this hurts to deep breath it can lead to fluid on the lungs) and heatpack and resting. From what I have read on the internet it takes usually 3-6 weeks to heal....it will be two weeks on sunday for me. So the fact it has improved a lil the last few days seems to be a good sign. Ive tried to be a hero and avoid taken pain meds....but i think i am understanding now its more important to keep the pain at bay and ensure i keep deep breathing. So as i am working thru till monday i will keep the painkillers up. Tuesday i am off and i will not take pain killers that day at least initially to guage how its going. (If it is painful i can always lay down till painkillers kick in) My priority is getting over this and getting over it properly. I will be very glad to see the physio on wednesday (she is a fitness instructor from the gym) as she can hopefully give me a real clear guidance in relation to exercise.

In relation to food and the scales....i must say i really am SO impressed with me. For 3 months i have been up and down between 80 and 85 kilos. The first couple of days of this injury my weight got up to 84.4 kilos....i then knuckled down foodwise and been pretty much perfect 90% of the time...and have stayed between 80.1 kilos and 80.7 kilos....so not under 80 kilos which i am dying to hit but at time where i have pain killers in my system, no exercise and frustrations and pain with this injury i just feel i have done really REALLY well and for me thats kinda huge. I am busting to be able to throw myself into everything....but im on this journey to get the healthiest body i can if i have to take things slow and be careful to ensure the end result is that i do have the healthiest body im able to have....then thats what I will do! :)

Whats more important nutrition or exercise?

So I was asked recently what is more important "diet or exercise" I did respond to the friend briefly on my thoughts but decided it was a good topic to blog on. So firstly I dont think the answer is limited to just those two options....so to be successful at weight loss here is what I think is needed...

1. Firstly your headspace. For me i knew the negative talk was what would put me off track again and again. When I got bronchitis back in 2006 and knew i was going to start back at ww my sister sent me her copy of dr phils weight loss solution book over to me. In it is a section on negative talk. For me I felt it was key, especially in the beginning. I kinda trained myself for anytime (especially in the beginning) when i started to think negatively to not allow my brain to actively think about the negative thought. Not as simple as it sounds but it worked for me. So i guess (and we are all different) is working out the headspace, realising you REALLY want to be healthy. Whether it means seeing a counsellor, doing reading on it, writing in a journal, ... determine what it is about the "mental" aspect that has let you down in the past (ie while you may have seen previous weight loss attempts as failures....they really arent....they are a tool to improve) and come up with strategies to overcome this.

2. Build a support system....OMG this is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo important...I cannot even begin to stress how important this is. There are many ways to do this, join some online weight loss communities...try either weight watchers Australia or US weight watchers or 3 Fat Chicks. Try and work out what it is YOU need....for me I figured out pretty quickly and early I needed a more "personal" approach which is why I did Personal Training. One misconceived perception I had previously was that personal training is just about exercise....really the exercise to me WASN'T the important component of it all...it was having that one person for 30 minutes once a week whose whole focus was on me and making my weight loss successful. With Fiona for me there was many talks on emotional things and day to day things i struggled with thru out this journey....there was lots of progress made on things such as learning not to hate the gym, my fears (and trust me i had many and still do!), building my confidence etc etc and of course a lot of these are aided by the exercise. Also exercise actually helps the mental aspect. Just think about it...if at the end of the day you can go "wow i did 30 minutes of boxing today" isnt that going to make you feel good? Isnt that going to make you realise you are achieving something? Arent you going to feel just darn plain good about yourself???? Otherways of building support might be joining a team sport, Maybe your partner or you have a friend on this journey as well? Just dont think you can do this completely alone....cos trust me you cannot....we are humans....we need that interaction and we all need support.

3. Nutrition I believe is a huge factor in the scales actually moving once you have the headspace and support system going. What you put in your body will determine how it works. Its no different to a car....you put crappy fuel and no maintenance into your car it wont work well...but the person putting the good fuel in and maintaining their car most likely will have a car that runs lovely. Nutrition really isnt rocket science. The simple answer is everything in moderation (yes even chocolate!), eat what you like, avoid processed foods (cos seriously why on earth would you want to feed your body a pile of chemicals), eat natural foods and organic where possible, eat from all 5 food groups, eat red meat once a week at least, pretty much follow the rule of if it didnt grow in the ground or come from a animal (milk) or have a mother - dont eat it....or eat it in moderation. The other thing is find foods you like....dont start eating foods you dont like cos you wont maintain it. Look outside the box...and find good foods you enjoy!

4. I dont believe exercise makes you lose weight faster. I dont believe it helps the scales move. What it does do tho is it helps tone your body, helps your "mental health" from those feel good hormones, improved cardiovascular system, increase brain function, improves confidence, you become stronger, you are getting out and living more whether out in the fresh air or at a gym, helps with balance, makes stronger bones....I could go on and on. The benefits is endless. You have two options with a weight loss journey. You can get to goal so that the number on the scales is that magical number but your not overly healthy on the insides and what they call "skinny-fat" or you can exercise as well as eat well....and end up with a toned, strong healthy body inside and out...where you not only have the magical number on the scales but internally and externally you are healthy.

To me my journey isnt about getting to that magical number (altho it is part of it!)...what its about is getting a body i am proud of and that glows with health :)

My back still hurts :( I thought the accupuncture might be helping but it seems is just the pain killers. I have a appointment with a guy friday night who comes to our work on friday afternoons to do massages, he does sport massages, trigger point massages etc. Ive heard really good feedback about him...so until then i will keep up the pain killers (tomorrow i am off so can rest my back good) and then fingers crossed he can help me friday afternoon if not im going to see the physio wednesday afternoon...surely one or the other will help..im starting to worry i am never going to get over this :(

Foodwise my eating has been really good. The scales have been fluctuating between 80.1 kilos and 80.5 kilos...so i am as sooooooooooo close to the 70's as you can prolly be without being there lol. I am guessing the lack of exercise and the taking of the painkillers is affecting the scales at the moment ... so hopefully....if i ever friggin get over this back and can stop taking the pain killers the scales will get under 80 kilos.

Not much else going on....im pretty much working, sleeping and resting....very boring life at the moment!!!

My Damn Back.

My back really hasnt been so good today. I have felt very sorry for myself...laying on my back but thinking lots. Last nite i slept on my side instead of flat on my back and think that prolly didnt help. And right now I am on my 3rd dose of pain killers...right at the moment it doesnt feel so bad. But i have decided i am DETERMINED not to let this change me getting to goal....it may be just the way i go about it differs. Yanno it could suddenly be all good tomorrow....or if i be realistic it is a back issue it could be a lot longer. So the next few days when not at work it will be all about resting, and laying flat on my back as much as possible (thats what the doctor recommended). Tomorrow nite i am going for another treatment for accupuncture. And then ill give that a few days if its still sore i will go and see my body combat instructor. She is a physio in her 9-5 job and the fact she will be able to give advice on exercise etc will be helpful. It may be a case i will need to change my focus to things like body balance, and possibly pilates (yuck!) till i get over this properly. If it does take a long time to heal there is a local gym with a pool and hydrotherapy...and their weekly membership is only $10 a week so i mite join it and that way use a pool (not ideal to me....as i am paranoid about slipping getting in and out of the pool...but swimming and possibly aqua aerobic classes mite allow me to exercise and get my heart rate a lil bit up whilst helping my back) I of course wouldnt stop my gyms membership...the goal would be to get back to my fitness classes and things like bootcamp and running etc. The one thing i can control in all of this is my nutrition...so that will be a big focus. Bit annoying cos i want to get to not only goal but to have as toned as body as possible...and this may put a dent into those plans...but i can only try and do my best...getting to goal isnt the issue to me....its the building muscle mass and being as lean as possible side of things thats the issue and also ensuring doing everything possible to ensure this back thing doesnt become a reoccuring issue.

Reflection on 2011 and some goals for 2012

Crazy to think its December! Where the hell has the year gone??? But its a awesome time to reflect on what I did this year and to START to assess some goals for next year.

So what did i accomplish this year?

So far to date ive lost spot on 25 kilos :) Thats a pretty damn awesome average for the year if you ask me....averages out to about 500 grams per week. - A goal I wrote last December for this year was "I am not going to put the expectation on myself to reach goal in 2011...but i certainly wanna aim for a 15 kilo loss with toning of my body...and my health drastically improving. (only need to lose 300 grams per week to meet this)"

I flew to Sydney - climbed the harbor bridge AND had a pedicure (the pedicure was a first lol)

Was in Thats Life Magazine

Was In Lorna Janes Book

Approached to be in the January edition of Fernwoods Magazine

I did go on some dates

Started doing a pile of exercises I never use to do : Jumping jacks, skipping with a skipping rope, running, i now find mountain climbers "easy", and even tho my pushups are far from perfect they have improved.

Rowed 2km in 8mins 58 secs which was pretty damn awesome for me

Climbed up the Westpac Building (30 flights)

Participated in the Mothers Day Classic Walk

Completed the Fernwood Foxy Challenge and was the winner for our team

So what are my goals for 2012?

To get to goal!! No questions asked!!!

Going to Sydney for 2 trips

Go to Melbourne to do the Eureka Climb

Complete the 7.5km Resolution run (and run some of it altho I dont expect to run it all)

Do the mothers day classis AND run it all!

Do one of the gyms bootcamps and do every session

Enter the City to Bay as a runner and run at least 6kms of it

To start my training to be a personal trainer

Oh i have missed my lil journal! My sore back got to the point that sitting up and typing a lot really hurt so i have had to avoid the journal for a bit. But i am SO happy to say my back is definitely on the improve :) I had accupuncture done on it thursday....yesterday it was really painful...and today there is still a lil bit of pain...but it is SO improved...i feel incredible!! :) I have really missed the gym this week. Early in the week when the pain was really bad i actually half felt like cancelling my gym membership...it was so frustrating not being able to even sit up without intense pain. Early in the week my eating went WAY off track too...wednesday morning i was 84.4 kilos!! EEK!!! But i am very happy to say its back down to 80.7 kilos this morning and that goal of being under 80 kilos on the 1st of january is very doable.

My big concern now is getting my back to 100% and avoiding any further injuries. I have the 7.5km run to train for which is in mid january. Im convinced i scored this injury in pump and so have decided no weights until at least mid january. And when I manage to catch Fiona at the gym next ill get her to show me some exercises to help strengthen my back. So between now and mid january it will be cardio, cardio and more cardio!! LOL Altho this week ill take it very easy....no classes or bootcamp....just some walking in my area and on the treadmill....the week after ill start to up the ante a lil. You dont realise how much you get out of the gym till its taken away from you! And even tho im not a lover of exercise...i do miss the environment and the feeling of accomplishing something :)

And with that going to keep this post short as i can feel my back tugging a lil...so back to laying down for me...enjoy your weekend all!! :)