WOW last day of the year ;)

WOW last day of the year...seems like just yesterday it was January 1 and i was all motivated for 2010 ;)

I am actually back at work today LOL for a whole day! then 2 days off...im working monday...so will get some nice money next payday!!!

So disappointed this morning i was gonna make my plum and blueberry smoothie...and the blender wouldnt start...i wonder if i make the smoothie at nite (when i can stuff around with the blender) and store it in a cup with a lid if the drink will be okay? Luckily i got to work and had some of my organic cereal here...phew! I then had a ham, baby spinach and avocado sandwich for lunch (avoiding the bbq they got going on at work!!!). Tonite i am making a new recipe - GO ME!!! - it is a boccoccini, basil and cherry tomato pasta salad...and I am going to add chicken too it. Found the recipe in this weeks new idea or womans day...looks bloody delishus!!

No going out tonite....apart from the fact i hate new years and how busy it is...its 43 degrees here today...i plan on spending it at home...there are fireworks in the city at 9pm which i prolly will be able to see from my place so mite venture out then. Tonite after dinner I might try and go for a walk if its not too damn hot.

NOW tomorrow i am starting the 30 day shred!!! YAY. And a walk in the morning if i wake early enough before it gets too hot.

Also i was asked for a "bio" basically of my journey...so decided i would do one...

So heres the story hehe...in 2005/early 2006 i started getting sick a lot...combination of kidney infections, viruses, flus etc etc. Then in may 2006 i got bronchitis and i was off work sick for SEVEN weeks...at this point i realised if i didnt change things i would end up confined to my home...so once i recovered on april 6 2006 i joined ww. I really didnt even think i would get past the first 6 weeks. But i did...by December 23 2006 i had lsot 20 kilos...YAY ME!! But unfortunately i then struggled for the next 18 months or so. In August 2008 i joined Fernwood for the upteenth time...and i started training with Fiona (seriously she has been such a godsend...without her i would have given up LONG ago!) so i started training with fiona...we started slow...and i really was only gymming it one day per week...then slowly over time i built up to about 3 sessions per week. Then May 2009 I hit 40 kilos lost....but when i got to this point i struggled...i plateaud for 7 months. So when this occurred i decided to make this journey my "hobby" i started to read and watch everything i could on anything that might remotely have to do with this journey. In January 2010 i decided to really focus...i did a lot of reading and cut out most processed foods...i focussed on variety and the kilos started to drop. I was now doing 3 PT sessions per week...and partway thru 2010 i started to attend fitness classes at the gym! This was huge to me as i was petrified of them i now do pump, RPM, body balance, body combat and the occassional body jam class...and i am sure the classes combined with the PT sessions has done a lot for the shaping of my body.

I have now lost 65-66 kilos...i have 30-38 kilos to lose and i plan on making a big dent in that number this year. As to how I have stuck at this for this long? i will NEVER EVER be 170+ kilos again...that fear is enuff to keep me on the straight and narrow!

More Progress Pics

April 2006




December 2010

Argh back home :)

I am home...I had a lovely holiday...very relaxing and a real good break...going to the beach was definitely a highlight! I loved being out in the water...only downside apart from the sand in all undesirable parts lol was that there were some jellyfish and i did get a couple of stings.

Today i went into town...bought myself a blender...so fruit smoothies coming my way...just gotta master some recipes lol i will try 1/2 cup of fat free natural yoghurt, 1/2 cup 2% milk, 1 cup of blueberries and a teaspoon of LSA. Will see how that tastes...that and a slice of toast should be a very filling breakfast.

When i got home today (and after i had eaten breakfast) i jumped on the scales...and it said 106.4 kilos...which means over xmas i have only put on 1.9 kilos (mite be a bit lower ill know more when i weigh in first thing tomorrow) i am ECSTATIC over that....last xmas i put on over SEVEN kilos...so yes i did gain...but i think thats definitely within the normal range :)

I am really looking forward to 2011 and all i will accomplish! I think this will be a huge fantastic year :) My aunty just messaged me that she has a pile of photos etc from when we were kids and stuff of my dads and did i want them...i of course said yes...and she is going to post them over to me...one is a book presented to my dad in 1959 :) AWESOMENESS!!!!

I am not planning to do anything on NYE....a quiet nite...my mum use to tell us as a kid "whatever you do on the 1st of the year is what you will do for the rest of the year" so a good healthy january 1 doing some exercise ... healthy eating...will be the way to go!!!

Comparison Pic November 2009 vs November 2010

Just a quickie...a comparison photo ... november 2009 vs november 2010 :)

How is everyone going now xmas is over? I am at my sisters till wednesday morning...hard to be completely on track when not in control of your environment. But i dont think i have done too badly. This morning i did another 5.7km walk...so everyday since ive been here i have either walked or swam. I think getting thru xmas without a gain is a bit dream like (specially since i still have my birthday to get thru!) but if the gain is only 2-3 kilos id be very happy. At the beginning of december i was fluctuating between 104.5-105.8...im really hoping by the time i weigh myself once i get home im no more then 107.9 kilos at the most (with luck i will be lower)

I have 2 more full days here. Then home...i am having a total break here and loving that...but like the hermit i am it will be nice getting to the quiet of my lil house ;) Of course the next part of the year is the end of year sales. I am looking at buying a juicer...and also stock up on some clothes. Last year i bought most of my gym gear at the end of year sale at katies...hopefully the same thing happens again...and since they have 50% off ill hopefully buy that dress i tried on a few weeks ago!

Not much else going on...just starting to get my head in the right place for the start of 2011!!!!

Its christmas time!!

Yesterday i went to the beach! YES! really! We went down around dinner time...went for a swim...you have to paddle so far out to get even to knee high water here...you prolly end up walk at least a half a kilometre before you get to the water at a decent depth. It was so relaxing. Floating around out there. I prolly havent swam at a beach since i was about 25 and i really loved it. I hadnt eaten a lot that day (in fact just toast for breakfast, a sandwich at lunch and a freddo frog) so when my sister suggested fish n chips for dinner at the beach i was all for that lol. Then after dinner we went back in for another swim. We then came home...showered and sat down and watched the carols on tv...was a real nice evening.

This morning of course was xmas morning...the kids had their alarm set for 6.30am!! lol. So they were up early opening presents. Currently they are sitting quietly playing with their toys...and we have the movie 2012 on. I too got some nice presents! I got some money...a real pretty photo frame with "princes" on it...a card game...this set of lil lip glosses in the shape of cupcakes...and i also got some measuring cups that are like the old fashion russian dolls that sit in side of each other. After lunch today we are heading back down to the beach :) The kids got a canoe...plus they got flippers and snorkel etc so they will need to test them out !

I am thinking when i get back to adelaide ill buy a juicer...target and myer both have them in their catalogue...reduced down to $99 and i think focussing on getting more vegies in me would be a good thing! And since i hate eating a lot of them....drinking them may be the way to go. I also wanna get a blender to make smoothies. And also some clothes at discounted price would be good!

Enjoy your xmas all!

Safe and Sound

What an eventful day! I arrived safe and sound. My flight really was a breeze...fitting in the seat wasnt a issue...the seatbelt had about 15 centimetres free...and i can pull the lil table to eat on down with no worries. Its like a huge weight has been lifted off me....a new thing i can now do...aeroplanes are doable! Once i got here we then drove around for a bit...came home...had some lunch and then i headed out for a walk! I will take some photos of my walk over the next few days...i didnt pass one person while walking 5.7km...so the ipod was on...i was singing LOL its VERY rural here no one can hear you for miles. Not long after i got home i realised i was a lil sunburnt...okay tonight i realise im a LOT sunburnt ! LOL...i will try and get some photos tomorrow lol. Its been a fun day miss 6 has kept me very busy with connect 4...cuddles...and wanting to play limbo (omg how hard is that!!) But a good day had by all...i was under 1800 calories today so another good thing. AND i am seriously contemplating doing michelle bridges 12 WBT...how awesome would it be to make a trip to sydney to train with her?

Anyway thats all for today,,,,enjoy xmas eve tomorrow!

Butterflies.

Well im all packed and kinda chitting myself!!! I get like this everytime im going to be away from home (even when i went into hospital for a few days) i think its cos i get nervous being away from my comfort zone...my security blanket of my lil house. My stomach feels like a hard rock...and its 10.25pm and i have to be up at 5.15am. Hopefully my luggage is all underweight and ill have to pay no excess baggage charges. Hopefully i fit in the seat okay...i dont expect there to be a pile of room in them...just so my body doesnt affect the people next to me i will be okay. Its going to be (hopefully a week of "i havent done that for a trillion years"...flying in a aeroplane...going to the beach...going swimming at the beach...playing tennis. I think this feeling i have...this stomach that feels like a rock...is just cos im stepping outside my comfort zone. Altho im sure in a weeks time...i will be saying "what a fab holiday i have had"

My Jackie Warner book didnt arrive...bit disappointed about that...but oh well...will be here for me when i get back.

I was thinking yesterday...august 6 2011 will be 5 years since i started at ww...will be 5 years on this healthy lifestyle...think i mite have to organise a big nite for that...a lot of people can never say that...so regardless what weight...(at goal or not) it will still be a big deal.

I will have my laptop with me...so will update while away...and even am planning to track my food and taking my heart rate monitor.

Ok wish me luck for tomorrow!!!

Getting ready for 2011!!!!

So its the week leading up to christmas. I am in 2 weight loss groups on FB...i also of course visit the ww forums...ive seen a number of messages/threads of people concerned about going off track. We are in week 51 of week 52 of 2010....for most people (myself included) its been a busy year...with lots of goals met...and lots of good work done...why because one or two weeks out of 52 weeks arent perfect do we beat ourselves up? Its christmas...I plan on enjoying it.

Over 2010 i had a number of messages whether on the ww forum...or my facebook inbox...from people wanting some advice...some suggestions etc. I am always MORE then happy to pass on anything I have learnt on this journey and that is the reason for this post.

So we have 11 days before January 1. Now is the PERFECT time to start think and planning towards 2011...so here are my suggestions...

1. THINK ABOUT YOUR SUPPORT NETWORK...as much as a hermit as i am...i know i desperately need this. If you dont have this you will struggle. If you dont and you wondered how do you get this....here is a few ideas...
1.Get involved with some forums...if you are following ww go to www.weightwatchers.com.au if your not doing ww check out www.3fatchicks.com/forum
2.Build a blog! Trust me .... within time you will get readers and you will have more people in your virtual support network.
3.Who in your life truly just wants whats best for you? Is it a friend, sister, mum, dad...whoever. Create a ritual of telling them how you went at weigh in each week...good and bad. If you have facebook do like me and broadcast it to the world lol...you will quickly gather who supports you by the comments and "likes" you get
4.For me also a huge support network is the gym...open your eyes to the gym....you might be surprised where you can get support there. For me its my trainer and slim coach...for others it mite be people you meet in classes...it might be thru challenges you do at the gym...
5.Got a few friends trying to get healthy/lose weight? Build a "group page" on facebook...to touch base and use for more support

I hate to say it but the support network wont just suddenly appear on your doorstep...we need to do a lil bit of work to find it...but the rewards are immense.

2. KNOWLEDGE ... really this is something just for you...and something very rewarding. I know not all people are readers...or want the extra knowledge...but i swear to god this has been one of the keys to me doing well. Start reading...start watching nutrition documentarys...if you have facebook add any health/nutrition groups you can...set up google alerts for topics you think would interest/help you (some of the alerts i have are biggest loser, nutrition, exercise, organic etcetc)
Dont know where to start with books, documentarys??? Message ME! LOL I have the names of lots of docs, and lots of books. Imagine how much you can gain from the knowledge of nutrition etc...

3. SET SOME GOALS ... no im not talking weight loss goals (altho if your like me they wil be involved in this!) Set some fitness goals....never done a fun run? Okay set the goal to do a small walk/run...mothers day classic has a 3km walk (i think) you can do...if thats not challenging enuff...aim to do a run...aim to go buy a bike and go cycling (this one i would do if i didnt think i would kill myself in the process! lol)...how about the goal of going to the gym twice a week or three times a week? or whatever! There is no one who cant set a exercise goal of some degree...if you havent done any exercise or are just starting take it slow remember! (i remember at 170 kilos starting by stepping up and down on a yellow pages...i could only do about 10-20 of them at a time but i would do it 3 times per week) Is your gym running any challenges? GET INVOLVED (yes i am really saying that lol)
What about some non fitness goals? Mine for this coming year is to never say "no" to any social invites ...what is something you fear or something you really want to do? Just one thing...make it a focus to do.

4.GET ORGANISED....start to think about how you are going to tackle 2011. What eating plan are you going to follow? How are you going to track? How are you going to record your weekly results? How will you tackle exercise? Join a gym? Go walking with a friend? DVDs within your home (get organised and buy some during the xmas sales...even better buy Jillians 30 day shred and do it with me from January 1!) If your planning to do your own exercise routine...go researching...make sure you are focusing on all muscle groups...and if you dont have access to a trainer or gym...check out you tube for video clips on correct form! If you are a member of a gym...are you going to do fitness classes? If so sit down and look at the time table...try to mix it up try and do a couple of cardio classes (RPM, cycle, body combat, body attack, zumba, body jam) if your not doing weights do body pump once a week and maybe also body balance to get some strength.

5. VARIETY.... boredom is the biggest healthy lifestyle killer...time to get out recipe books and try new recipes. Time to try new foods! This year i am planning to eat turkey and duck more often. Try some different grains...try barley...quinoa. Find a good local fruit and veg store....or set the goal of shopping at the markets at least once a month...maybe hunt up recipes for muesli bars, low fat cookies etc and get away from all the damn processed foods...and go back to foods like our grandmas made.

6. ORGANISE YOUR HOUSE ... after xmas...get the house tidy...clean out the cupboards and fridge...clean out your wardobe of all the clothes to big for you..start the year of FRESH.

7. THINK....really think about what a wonderful gift of improving your life! How exciting...making yourself number one...getting your health on track...and really living life...isnt this what we all want???? Only one person stopping us from getting that life...and thats us...!

Well today was not a good day foodwise! (This journal seems to be having a theme of this of late!) But it was a really good day...i always dread "family" days....specifically with the step family members but i really enjoyed today despite the freezing weather...food was barbeque with cold roast chicken...salads...and then this cake was "chocolate indulgent" and out of the fifty thousand cans of soft drink i managed to scrounge up only one to drink that was diet UGH

But it was a good day...lots of cuddles from miss 6...my sister told me master 8 wants me to play tennis at the tennis courts wtih him when im at streaky. Then tonite me, my sister and master 10 went to the movies to see harry potter. I have never seen any of the harry potter movies...i really enjoyed it and now need to see all the other movies! Tomorrow nite off to mums to swap xmas presents since we wont be here xmas day and my sister goes home the next day.

So a great weekend...must admit it was nice being out with people...maybe socialising a bit more could be good for me!

Despite my bad eating...back on track tomorrow. I always knew today would be a tricky one.

And with that its after 11pm...WAY past my bedtime lol have a good monday all!

Well no more gym for the rest of the year! So i am now officially on vacation. This time of year is such a wacky time...and i must admit every year the head space alters...really i just one january 1 here so i can get on with things.

Ive noticed lately its getting much, much harder to burn a decent number of calories. Previously i could burn 3000 calories easily and would sometimes get up to 5000 calories. Now obviously i havent been running on the treadmill much with my achilles injury...but to be honest i havent been doing much running for 3-4 months so thats not it (altho of course running could easily bring it up if i knew it wasnt gonna cause my foot issues) I know its simply gonna be a case that i am simply going to have to go harder in the classes. I know when i started doing classes i would pace myself cos i was worried of getting 10 minutes in the class and not being able to finish it ... i dont think thats a issue now. I think in pump i really need to focus on increasing the weights regularly...using the resistance more in the cycle classes (and ensuring i do at least 2 cycle classes per week)..and of course going hard in the body combat classes...even if i cant go hard in the jumping area for this class...but i can always go harder in the upper body components.

Boxing fiona has already ramped up the intensity...but i mite have to watch the calories burnt with that...its hard to get the intensity up when u arent allowed to jump etc...we have been doing the stair climbing a lot lately tho and that definitely gets my calorie burn up. And i am really going to have to focus on doing them every time i go to the gym.

Based on my calorie burn over the last month...im only burning 357 calories per day with exercise...that with my current weight and the fact im about to turn a year older! LOL to lose a kilo a week...i need to average 1310 calories per day...im gonna have to get much smarter with my eating...but this is no great surprise (altho i expected it to be around 1400 calories) as i did discuss with eve this week that i need to fine tune more diet more as i lose these last 30 kilos. So initially in the new year ill do 1310 calories...of course once i do see this PCOS dietician she may alter the plan somewhat.

Last nite i had a 40th party to go to (my friend who was in hospital) anyway the party was a fab nite...he is doing really well...still walking with a walking stick but seems to be improving everytime i see him. When i walked in he said to me "megan is so excited to see you" so i went and found megan...she was my old manager and we became friends...but i havent seen her for about 3 years (she left the compant) anyway i went up to her and was like "hi" and she looked at me blankly for a minute and then realised it was me ! LOL she was like omg you dont even look the same i didnt recognise you...she then told me i am half the size i recently was! so that was ace. I didnt think i looked to bad on the nite either!! Food wise there was nibbly food but i was pretty good...they had this frittata which was to die for at one point they kept bringing out seafood...like salt & pepper squid...chicken and prawn spring rolls...i dont like seafood...so i was whining saying nothing for me to eat lol well one of my friends disappears...i went to the toilet and come back...and hes returned and is like "princess come here i got you something you will like" he had bought a wedge of gourmet cheese and crackers! LOL which were yummy...id never had these crackers before...will have to find them and give them a whirl....cos they only had 1 gram of sugar! Anyway here is a pic from last nite:

I really have not been very good the last few days...why cant i just wake up tomorrow and its January 1? lol

I am hoping its just me being overtired...today is my last day of work...bliss...tonite i have a 40th party to go too...tomorrow gym in the morning...over to see mum and my sis and kids in the afternoon. Foodwise im gonna make good decisions from the moment i wake tomorrow. (today ive been fine and i wont drink tonite...hopefully theres not too much nibbly food at it) Sunday morning i am going to be super healthy...walk into the city and around part of the torrens. Sunday afternoon we have a family reunion (i am planning to have a piece of cake at this tho!). Then the next 3 days should be pretty quiet and relaxing...then thursday i fly out to streaky. The good thing is theres no junk food at streaky...my sister eats well...im gonna try and be active...and hopefully it all works good. Xmas day...im gonna eat good with one slice of christmas pudding. I get back to Adelaide on the 29th...30th is my birthday and will prolly go out to lunch on the day but will prolly pop into the gym that nite (i know theres a class on but as its a christmas timetable will just have to figure that out) then its just the 31st then WOOO HOOO its january 1!

My plan is bed by 10pm sunday night to thursday nite. I wanna be up at 6am monday - friday this coming year...and take advantage of that morning time before i have to go get ready for work. In January i am planning to do jillians 30 day shred to boost things along...and i think will go back to calories with 1500 calories per day with calorie cycling (that always seemed to work best for me) Yesterday i reformatted my computer got all the chat crap on it...ive decided theres a choice to be made...goal this year or chat...so thats the sacrifice! I also want to every sunday i am off walk into the city and walk around the torrens. I need to live more...and these are all steps to doing it along with getting this weight loss going.

Not too much else going on...4 hours of work left and wooo hooo im free! Bring that on!!!

30 Day Shred

Anyone wanna do the 30 day shred with me starting January 1? I know someone wanted to do it when I did...so let me know!

Well...the end of the year is really coming to a end eh? Its always a good time for reflection....and when i look at it....i:

* lost just over 30 kilos this year
* completed the city to bay (10km walk)
* my fitness increased
* im more toned
* I finally started attending fitness classes and still am attending them!

So I did accomplish some things this year...my first weigh in back in the new year eve is going to calculate the centimetres i lost this year. :)

Which leads me to think about the new year...the plan is:

Nutrition : to eat as clean as possible...and to really zero in and make sure my eating is all natural, good healthy foods, Ill be seeing a PCOS dietician and as always ill be reading lots and taking the bits and pieces of info i view and read to work "my plan"

Fitness wise...I wanna do the mothers day classic walk, million paws walk, city to bay (the dream would be to register as a runner and run the first 6km and walk the last 6km but i dont know if that is really doable), the westpac stair climb, and well any other funruns/walks i find!
february-april i am going to do the foxy challenge at the gym...and we might even get a lil competitive and try and do really well at it :)
august - november i am on long service leave. This is going to be a great time to really focus in on things, as i will have the freedom and time to get to every fitness class i want to do...my aim would be per week...2 body pump classes, 2 body combat classes, 1 body balance class, 3-4 cycle classes, 1 body jam class per week...combined with my 3 PT sessions per week.

If the gym does a boot camp whilst im on long service leave i WILL do it.

I am not going to put the expectation on myself to reach goal in 2011...but i certainly wanna aim for a 15 kilo loss with toning of my body...and my health drastically improving. (only need to lose 300 grams per week to meet this)

I think focusing on fitness goals may be more productive for me then focusing on numbers on the scales.

I think if i manage all those things...come next year I can again be thinking its been a successful year!

I have really really neglected this journal lately. Today i had a dentist appointment...turns out i had a abcess and some nerve damage...no wonder my tooth was so freaking sore!

Tomorrow i am going to weigh in...i have been bouncing around 104.5 kilos to 105.8 kilos for the last couple of weeks. I am not too concerned...i havent been exercising as much...partly just due to being so over it all for the year lol and partly due to my achilles injury.

My aim is simply to weigh around the 105 kilos mark on january 1. Then to move on...im really starting to think about what my focuses will be in 2011...what my goals will be and how I am planning to attack things...still thinking it all thru in my head...im sure ill leave a long post when im ready (by december 31 at the latest! LOL) not much else going on...have a good day all!

I have had a fabulous day! Firstly the scales dropped 1.5 kilos over night...holy crap how did that happen? LOL so i was 104.7 kilos this morning. I then went to the docs...im sitting there waiting for him to come and call my name...he walks out walks straight past me and calls out my name...im like..."im here" hehe he looks at me and goes "omg i didnt recognise you...you have really lost a lot of weight now" I then told him that i was after a referral for a dietician who specialises in PCOS...he told me we can use obesity to put u on a care plan so we can get you to see a dietician of ur choice at a minimal or free cost...YAY!!! Then i told him my depression has reared its head again...i told him i dont really wanna go on the medication...so hes going to put me on a health plan for that too! So i will hopefully get approved So that was all a very big yay!!

Then i went op shopping...a picked up a size 16 wrap around dress...thought ill take it...in time it mite fit me...lo and behold it fits! And it looks not too bad on me too. I picked up a couple of other tops and then also picked up a size 12 top for wearing over tank tops etc...and it FITS...holy moly hehe so a very very good day!!!

Ok off i go...enjoy all!

The scales went up another 400 grams this morning. No idea why. I certainly havent exercised as much this week but my food has been fine. Im trying not to stress...the scales say 106.2 kilos...im hoping to be under 105 kilos when i return to the gym on january 4 so its still doable...but i have been fine with my eating the only thing i can conclude is not enough variety. So will focus on that and the next few days i will ensure i dont eat any of my weekly points (ive only used 10 of them)

I just checked my payslip and forgot to put in my weekend work! ARGH! Not really the end of the world but duh me!! In some ways it kinda feels good...it means the pay i get the day before xmas day will have annual leave loading, plus a sunday and two saturdays (so a BIG pay) and then as i am at streaky ill hardly spend any hehe!! So when i return on December 29... post xmas sales here i come!!!! Perfect time to get restocked with clothes especially gym wear.

Only another 3.5 hours and i am on a 3 day weekend!! Weeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

My scales are being very cheeky lil buggers! Twice in the last week i have managed to get down to 104.8....and then the following day back up to over 105 kilos grrrrrrrrrrrrr...yesterday 104.8 and today 105.8. Ive been on track...not the end of the world...but geeeeeeez they need to co-operate a lil more.

Just made a appointment for my hair on friday. Im tryng to grow it out but its looking rather messy...so will get it trimmed so it can grow a bit neater and a colour put thru...prolly more a lighter brown.

Tomorrow is my last day for the week YAY!!! So cannot wait for this 3 day weekend.

Have been a bit slack gym wise this week. Im working till 5pm this week...so i cant make any evening classes (well i could body balance tonite if i really wanted)...monday i climbed the 7 flights of stais...25 minutes on the treadmill and a PT session of weights...tuesday i didnt go in cos of the weather...i normally dont go in on wednesdays LOL. Thursday nite ill do PT and the stairs and a lil bit on the treadmill prolly....friday i cant get to the gym during the day due to the doctor and hair appointments...I could go in friday morning for a 7am body combat class...but really i dont think its likely LOL. Maybe im starting to wind down lol. My gym membership is on deferral from 19/12/10 to 3/1/10 so not that more many days of the gym for the year...then time to rev up for the brand new year!

wow its been days since i updated! Firstly a few things...i feel the best tonight i have for agessssssssssssssss! I havent taken my antidepressents for over a year (doctor knew) he agreed my exercise was helping to keep it under control...anyway for some reason its flared up lately...so i have made a appointment on friday morning to see the doc.

Saturday I worked. Sunday I caught up with Martine, Jo, Sharon and dee for lunch at the markets. Was a yummy lunch and good company :) I then went to the drinks thing that fiona and sarah (from the gym) were putting on...heres a couple of pics from it....
me with another client (sorry i forgot her name)



me and fiona (I got caught in the rain so is why it looks like I spilled crap on my top!)



Me and sarah




Anyone who reads my journal knows who fiona is (satan!)...sarah is another trainer at the gym and i do her RPM class most weeks. I of course felt like a dork at this drinks thing...but yanno i did it...i survived it lol

Today I got a phone call from my dental surgery...was suppose to go to the dentist on the 20th but my dentist was in a car accident on the weekend and so wont be working until at least january 10...so they managed to squeeze me in with his partner (who is actually the dentist i had as a teen) for monday...i have had a sore tooth since i had the surgery (yes that long!) im so excited to think this time next week it will hopefully be fixed LOL

Just over 2 weeks now till i go to streaky bay...i think whilst there i mite get up early each morning and walk down to the beach...i am so determined NOT to put on over xmas!!

I have a 3 day weekend this weekend YAY cannot wait. I dont have much on either so friday ill go to the docs and ill go to my fave lil second hand store. And then ill just get this house organised! Saturday will be the gym...some xmas shopping and then i mite even go dress shopping! I have a 40th on the 17th to go to as well as a family function on the 19th so i think a new outfit is called for. So mite go looking at dresses on saturday arvo..sunday no plans at this stage! Then monday i am only working 5 hours as i have the dentist appointment.

My friend who was in hospital came back to work today! He is doing really good...got a big kiss from me lol. He is walking with a walking stick but looks really good. So am really looking forward to his 40th!

Not much else going on...have a good nite all!

The thought that i have less then 30 kilos to lose is scary. The main reason being that i cant fathom losing 30 kilos is enuff! When i hit around 120 kilos i thought...oh the next 15-20 kilos ill see a massive difference...especially with my stomach/hips/thighs. Certainly theres been a difference i have lost some centimetres but its nowhere near what i had hoped for. I cant imagine that losing only another 30 kilos am i gonna be happy with. Its not about oh ill still have cellulite or whatever...its that even dressed in clothes i wont look normal. Im not delusional i dont expect the perfect body...ill never have the body of a 20 year old. But lets face it my hips and thighs are huge and just completely out of proportion with the rest of my body,,,,and the really annoying thing is altho ive had some losses of the lower half of my body...my top half keeps reducing too...so no matter how much i lose im still so out of proportion it aint funny. Which really concerns me that ill get down into the healthy weight range...be completely unhappy and feel what i have done is a waste. Now of course i realise there are the health benefits...and REALLY thats the most important thing...but im a girl lets face it i wanna be able to wear nice clothes and look half decent and if after 5 years or so of doing this if i get to my goal weight and still not happy i really dont know what ill do...cos how can you successfully maintain if your not happy or at least content with the final result. And then there is a part of me...that wonders if im using this thinking as a way to not go any further...i dont think i am even close to giving up...but it comes down to the same thing for me...always wanting the easy way out....whether its this...or socialising or anything i find challenging...its ALWAYS come to a point where ive been like...this is too hard i cant do it...and i throw in the towel. And with this weight loss thing...its the first time i really have stuck at it (trust me tho ive wanted to quit numerous times) but i havent and somehow have kept going...so i do wonder if this is me thinking...ok enuff is enuff. UGH my brain is doing way too much thinking AGAIN

I do have these social plans tomorrow...lunch time meeting the ww girls for lunch at the markets...then after there is a drinks thing at a pub for fiona and one of the other trainers and there clients...this i am dreading...and this comes back to the whole "taking the easy way out" thing. The easy thing to do would be to pike and not go...the hard/challenging thing to do is to attend...it will still come down to the same thing...ill be the fat girl...and ill be uncomfortable...of course i think its lovely that i was asked to go...but this whole socialising thing is just too damned hard! Someone give me a personality and a skinny body please lol

Its quite funny how things are changing....kinda reverting back....

When i was a kid....one of the compliments i heard more then anything was "beautiful smile" i havent heard compliments about my smile for years...i look back at photos of my as a kid and i really was a good looking kid (modest much??? lol) anyway ever since i have put the last photos that Gae took...i have had so many compliments...on here ... facebook ...friends ...ww forum and the common thread is "great smile" to the point i am now starting to think "hey maybe these people are right!" For most of my adult life ive thought my only good feature is my cleavage...and trust me ive playing it up...i know realise its not...my smallish waist is definitely one of my better features and now i am even starting to think my smile. Which is bizarre...i hate my face...i hate looking at it in the mirror...at the gym i wont look at myself...if fiona asks me where i wanna stand its always so im not facing the mirror...now im starting to think maybe im not a monster when i look in the mirror. And more and more when i look in the mirror im seeing the face i had as a kid (altho with more wrinkles! lol) which is bizarre...lol

This morning my scales said 105.1 kilos!!! OMG i am so hoping to drop another 300 grams this week...that would put me at under 5 kilos to double digits (OMG A-MAZ-ING!!!!)...having lost 30 kilos since January 1 and as of this morning by my scales i have 28.1 kilos to lose to get to the healthy weight range!!! Hehehe!!! I am starting to believe I will make it people !!!

Tonite off to the gym...hopefully i will get there in time for a 45 minute body pump class...then a 45 minute RPM class....then PT session of weights THEN ill walk home...will be the third time this week ive walked home and its quite a nice walk in the evening (does take around 75 minutes)

Not much else going on! Have a good day all!!

Well i have had such a lazy day today! LOL its been bliss. Spent the morning resting, sleeping in and watching tv. This arvo i went to the gym to see the physio...she said the problem is there is so much tension in my calves and also some in my thighs....so she massaged the crap out of my calves (hurt like crap!) then gave me some exercises with a "foam roller" told me a few things not to do for 3-4 weeks. So hopefully this helps....i suspect i mite have to keep on top of ensuring my calves are stretched out properly. I then walked home from the gym...a lazy 75 minute walk. Not much else going on...altho i am hoping tomorrow morning i mite get close to being under 105 kilos on my scales...not only would i then have less then 5 kilos to double digits...if i hit 104.8 it would mean i have lost 30 kilos since january 1 (YAY ME!!!)

Okies off i go enjoy your nite!