Life is still good :) and weigh in results!

So much happening of late and I have been so slack about updating this lil blog!

I weighed in wednesday morning and lost 600 grams taking me to 4.2 kilos lost since January 1 and a total of 71.7 kilos lost. YAY. I feel so good about the weight loss and how it is going. My eating is going so well....over two weeks since I have binged and I have been under calories EVERY DAY. My aim was for this year to lose 2.5 kilos a month...I will update tomorrow morning how much I have lost for the month of January :)

Yesterday I bought a new laptop yay!! so happy!! I can update my journal from home again. I can do much better progress pics...check out my fitness forums...ahhhhhhhhhhhhh I feel a bit complete!!

Work has been going great lately...I am getting some different opportunities which I am loving. AND I now have a work wife hahahhaha ;) One of my friends suggested we have a "breakfast & lunch club"...so I give her $30 a week....she organises my breakfast and lunch....she makes everything from chicken and egg salad to toasted sandwiches and on monday quiche!! And she often even delivers it to my desk! How spoiled am I? Its great cos its all home made...all unprocessed stuff...I am lucky lucky!

Tonight I had PT. My trainer is away for a week the week after next...so this coming week I will do 3 sessions and the same with 2 weeks later. My trainer starts telling me what she wants me to do during the week she is away....and then says "btw I can check your visits" hahah no hiding!

Tonght i was telling my trainer that I had lost 4.5 kilos this month....and she said "you aren't in a rush to lose the weight are you?" I love that she said that....I love that I have been lucky with trainers not putting pressure on me to lose the weight fast.

Things are still going good altho not expecting a big loss this week - combination of week 2 and my cycle. I went back thru my journal and when I was this weigh previously I ate 1620 calories a day (cycled of course). Currently I am eating 1750 calories. So as a new week starts tomorrow I will drop 100 calories a day starting tomorrow so 1650 calories a day. Ill then see how this coming week goes. The reality is I am not feeling the need for a lot of food anymore...(cannot believe I said that!) I have really noticed that I dont need as big meals (amazing what happens when you cut out the crap). So anyway will cut back to 1650 a day and see how I go.

Today is the last day of week 2 of not eating any of the foods I made a no-go...so i know i wont have any of them today....so....this weekend i get to go spend a lil in Kikki.k YAY me :)

PT tonight...on a stinking 41 degree day....wish me luck!

Happy australia day :)

Well the first good news is i am getting a laptop this week! weeeeeee!!!! That will make updating this blog much easier :)

Since this is a weight loss journal I should discuss this ;) AND its going fab! I am doing so well I am stunned! Foodwise have been under calories every single day. I am wanting to go to the gym more...i am getting that vibe back and mentally i feel so much stronger, and the mental aspect is the much bigger part of this picture and really the win.

I havent eaten any of the foods on the no go food list and so of course I havent binged yay for me!!! I am seeing $40 being spent at kikki.k this week as my reward :)

While its not official weigh in day today I did step on the scales this morning and they are moving in the right direction. I am so impressed with this for two reasons...one its week 2...everyone knows week 2 is harder to get a loss....and also i have had my cycle....go me!!! Pretty darn wrapped to say the least. The big focus now is to get back to double digits....im a couple of kilos away from that...but currently that is the big focus.

Have a fab day all :)

Good day!

I knew yesterday when I posted there was something I forgot! When listening to Jillians podcast on tuesday night she was talking about positive reinforcement...she was talking about it in relation to her kid but saying how as adults we dont do enough of it (ie rewards for reaching goals) So since i created that list of foods i am not to eat...i thought over this 4 week I would set up some weekly rewards. So this is what I decided:

week 1 : 2 bath bombs from lush (already got them since i champed last week!)

week 2 : $40 to spend at kikki.k

week 3 : 2 bath bombs and fitness magazine of my choice

week 4 : $60 to spend at Lorna Jane

These are all things i love...but they are like "wants" not needs so usually dont buy them...so spoiling myself a bit ;) the bath bombs at lush are well...the bomb! haha! They smell the best...love them !! And they have such a big range i coulda spent oodles in that store...i got one which is a honey one and one i think it was called a beachbomb....think its a vanilla one...but all good!

I only discoverred kikki.k at xmas time when i went in there to buy a xmas present...such nice stuff and so pretty! So will DEFINITELY be staying on track to get that....haha...think right now kikki.k is worth more then all the food in the world LOL

I'm definitely starting to get more in the zone. I do RPM on wednesday nights and have for a while. Normally every class i am watching the clock and i am counting the tracks...im very aware of what track we are open...so i know how far into the class I am hah! Anyway last night I thought I am here might as well just go with it and not bother with counting the tracks...and the class was much more tolerable! If it wasnt day 1 of my cycle i would go in tonight and do RPM again...think tho I will next week. Im just starting to get that vibe of wanting to do things to get closer to goal instead of thinking...ugh i havent done todays exercise.

I had my slim session - that all went well. Weighed in...had a chat about things. Only real recommendation that came out of it was maybe cos of my iron i should have a blended up drink of greens each day...which i will work on :) I think she could tell i was on track etc so dont fix what aint broken LOL.

One of the other things I really have struggled with of late is "wanting to feel normal" and what I mean by this is .... if work puts on food I want to eat it regardless if its good for me or not...if theres food in a team meeting ... i wanna eat it. Today we have a free bbq at work...sausage in a slice of bread, piece of fruit and a drink. I was talking to a friend last night about it...and said one sausage on bread is not worth all those calories so i am going to have my normal lunch...ill still have the piece of fruit and the drink but just skip the sausage in bread :)

Weigh in results

Good news I weighed in and lost 3 kilos :) So as of this morning 102 kilos....total loss is now sitting at 71.1 kilos :) More then happy with that!

Last night went to PT. We were doing weight work were she really had my heart rate up.35 kilos and 45 kilos on the bar with squats...followed by kettle bell swings then bang straight on to the assisted pull up machine. All was going good till about the 4th rep on the pull up machine when i started to not feel well. I explained to her that getting nauseas/dizzy is not overly a uncommon thing for me but the first time in a session with Tamika. So coincidently as I am telling her about my low iron and how I use to get dizzy in the early days of training with fiona...fiona suddenly appears lol (she was visiting someone at the gym) lol...timing was quite funny. Anyway after fiona left tamika talked to me a bit about eating red meat...she was like do you not like the taste of it? I was like...erm yeh no its not that...I just dont love the taste...and I am a lazy eater lol....which led to the comment "isnt it worth the effort of eating it if it gets you closer to goal" ... yep she got me there! LOL So on the meal plan tonight is porterhouse steak! With egg and grilled tomato...I think I am going to make a concentrated effort to eat red meat at dinner at least every second night.

Not much else going on...off to do RPM tonight and then my first slim session for 2014 :)

Life...

I was thinking last night that people probably are thinking woah at some of my posts. I know a lot of people saw me previously as some invincible weight loss machine...the truth of the matter is...even if I get to goal I will battle this for the rest of my life. The person who decides to lose weight gets to goal and never struggles is a very rare person (and incredibly strong and all kudos to them!) but the reality as I discoverred is not me. And there has to be reasoning behind this...so there might be lots of posts where I am not the in control person some think I am...it doesnt diminish my knowledge or who I am...it just is....and I just felt it needs to be addressed...if you dont want to see posts like that...or its a trigger or anything like that I would suggest not read my posts (not that anyone has said this but every time I post lately I have been wondering about this)

Watched aussie biggest loser last night...looks like its going to be a really good season. It struck me how numerous them feel they need to lose weight to put themselves out there and that life is passing them by (sound familiar???). With one of them shannon said....what do you do in your spare time - she replied "sitting things - knitting, crochet, scrapbooking" and shannons response was "we need to get you out more". So true - I am exactly the same. 70 kilos lighter and still the same.

My days consist of getting up - going to work - going home and being a sloth in front of the tv. Unless its a gym night - then i go to the gym for a hour or so then come home and be a sloth. Weekends....as a example last weekend...i got up at 9am...went into the city...bought some dvds and a couple of tops...got my eyebrows waxed walked straight past the gym (didnt go in) i then went home and watched my dvds....the rest of saturday and sunday. Only varying on that on sunday to throw a couple of loads in the washing machine and to go to the shops quickly to buy food for sunday nights dinner.

Ive discussed this before. And im still here...still not doing things cos I dont have someone to do them with. Things I enjoy like going to musicals...going to see live performances. I always go I am not going cos I have no one to go to them with....admittedly they would be more fun if I had someone to go to them with...but I can still enjoy them by myself. So thats one thing I need to start to look at to break the monotonous that is my life ;) So Rocky Horror Picture Show is on in march, in august there is grease...and i think its june there is a ballet performance of cinderella. I am going to start to book some tickets. I also want to start to just get out and see movies I want to see...last time I went to the movies was several years ago I think (cannot even remember when it was). I need to just make me do more things.

Food wise things are going good :) I have been spot on with it in fact! So impressed with me. The thing letting me down is the gym. And this kinda relates back to what I have already mentioned above. I plan to go to the gym I have every intention of going right up till the point i leave work then suddenly I am like I dont want to go. I think partly its cos I dont do the classes I really enjoy. My trainer is big on muscle recovery. I really enjoy pump...but the only time I can make is saturdays but as thats the day after my PT session my trainer prefers I dont do it on saturdays...she prefers I just do body balance instead. It does seem like a waste to travel all the way in the city for a one hour class (cos im like so busy at home lol)...the classes I use to enjoy was combat and boxing. Now partly this relates back to breaking my wrist in combat last year. Imagine it...in a full class and you land flat on your ass....it was demoralising as well as bloody painful. For some reason when i "side shuffle" or "shuffle backwards and forwards" my feet get caught up and trip...it happened about 4 times before I had the fall where I broke the wrist. I did a combat class about a month ago and nearly tripped over my feet again...which freaked me out...I know I can "walk" the side steps but I feel then I am not going to be moving fast enough especially when its busy. So it kinda terrifies me...altho as I typed that I thought...I do have both the gyms combat instructors on my FB maybe I should message them and see if theres a alternative I can do they can recommend (thinking it would just be walking instead) so with that fear of breaking my bones lol any class where I have to move a lot I am kinda terrified of (ie body attack, shabam, combat, boxing etc) I also just feel my age is catching up to me lol...80% of the gym members are prolly 20-somethings...tiny...fit...etc etc...there i am 100 kilos....46 years of age...and not very confident .... i really struggle with certain movements then throw the "im worried i am going to fall over thing" then there is also a bit of a lazyness....its hard to get back into the exercise habit when I have been out of it for so long.

Anyway...this was a huge post...and i prolly rambled way too much....hah....off to PT shortly...and then back with weigh in results tomorrow!

New week :)

Things are going very well and still feel really motivated....in fact more at peace then I have in ages. Im currently aiming for up to 1750 calories. I will do a official weigh in on wednesday....and that night I will return to slim sessions. As of this morning my loss for the week so far is 2.8 kilos (cannot complain about that eh?) on wednesday night when i have my slim session I am going to tell the coach I want to weigh in with them but do my own thing. I really dont respond to eating what people tell me well ;) Also starting wednesday I will commence calorie cycling as stagnant calories everyday doesnt work overly well for me. So the break up of my cals will look like :

monday : 1900
tuesday : 1500
wednesday : 1500
thursday : 1600
friday : 1800
saturday : 2100
sunday : 1850

Lunchtime today had my sandwich then headed out for a short 15 minute walk...its like someone else has overtaken my body ;) Tonight I am off to the gym...30 minute boxing class followed by 20 minutes or so of running intervals and then a 60 minute body balance class. Body balance wont lead to a big calorie burn but hopefully will have burnt 500 calories by the time body balance starts.

Not much else going on ;)

Sunday :)

Good day today....cals came in at 1490 calories which I am very happy with :)

Didn't do a heck of a lot today .... Washing and I've been watching season 2 of breaking bad.

Watched the Aussie biggest loser tonight....normally don't like the Aussie one but it was pretty good tonight so maybe there is hope for this series lol. Off to the gym tomorrow night....going to do a 30 minute boxing class and probably a 60 minute body balance class...(all depends on timing) 

Have a good week all 

Wanted : some self belief amongst other things

I have been reading a book (which i am half way thru) called transformation road by Sean Anderson - he weighed 505 pounds got down to 230 pounds and similarly to me is now struggling. But it was interesting reading his book, reminded me how much i need to keep blogging.

My personality can be a bit of a 'hermit' or as I was once told - I am very insular lol when I started struggling last year ... Someone commented on my blog...why don't u just do it? My size 12 jeans are the only motivation I need....most who have ever battled their weight know it's more then just eat less and i took quite often to the post....then I declared I wasn't posting anymore I needed to hermit awayfom people and be with myself more in a attempt I guess to not have peoples opinions affect my mood and how I choose to cope with things. Nothingbad about that person....that comment is all about how. I CHOOSE to deal with things...I should have been stronger and if it was so bad to me deleted it and moved I but I didn't and as you can see it is still there in the back of my mind.

So while about a year ago I made the decision to hide (and coincidently have gained since) it's time to step out of that and put myself out there in many ways. And it's not just the blog....I was in a private group of weight watchers - people know in real - again I took offence to what one person said..blocked the person and deleted myself for the group - seeing a common theme? Yep I am the queen of running away....I don't like what someone says I delete them and turn my back....even if what is being said was want with good intentions (who knows I am not in there brain) but I run and it's a really bad habit of mine.

Last night in PT tamika had me do a wall squat sit....I'm doing it....and she says you look very comfortable I am like "oh yeah I find this easy" she turns around and says so go lower in your squat then...I do for about 1 second lol and then say "I don't like that it's too hard" lol she then says and this is a bit of a lightbulb moment even tho it's nothing I didn't know....but she says....we need to work on your range of movement...whether it's squats, lunges, push-ups or whatever you go to a certain point and just stop. And it's true...I could even expand on that....I figured out howto run at. A very slow pace - I can do it comfortably and can breath easily and am able to hold a conversation...but running a lol harder or faster - not interested. Tamika said last night you need to stop seeing yourself as the person you were at 170 kilos. And it's true...even tho I've gained 25 kilos I am still healthy and fit.i can still excise...except I still think of myself as 170 kilos I think I'm going to break still...whether it's myself...or something I'm holding on to ....sitting on....or leaning against.

When I was 25 kilos lighter I felt like I had endless possibilities....I was getting opportunities (that's life magazine, Lorna Jane book etc)....should I study nutrition or PT.....should I think about doing online weight loss coaching.....those opportunities still al exist for me....quite a while ago one the person from that's life magazine who did the story on me said get in touch with us when you get to goal do we can look at doing another story.....you would think that would motivate me no end? It should...me in a nice outfit....getting the chance to be in their magazine again....but it's like I believe it will never happen....I've thought about it occasionally but not too often or seriously. Sending a message to that's life should be mitigation, being able yo wear the size 10 dress in my cupboard should have motivated me...knowing (from experience) how much happier my life was. So apart from the fact I need to get the weight loss going I really need to work on my range of movement...I need more self belief....more positive talk so I will believe in myself more...stop letting myself get scared of the gym...and stop worry I may not less weight and instead just lose weight.

Food addiction

I put the title of this post as food addiction but it probably should be JUNK food addiction. I clearly have a addiction to food and specifically junk food and I have said this all the way thru my journey, but its obviously gotten worse over the last 6 months or so.

Whilst I got back on track on January 1 i have been far from perfect. Some days my eating has been perfect...some days it couldnt be worse if I tried. So january 1 i was 105.6 kilos and today 105 kilos. So very minimal progress. Anyway I was on the treadmill last night and I was thinking if I could string a month together of no crap food then I would be right I think. It reminded me how early in my journey I read the book "the end of overeating" by David Kessler and how it really shifted my mind in how I saw junk food....so I have pulled that book out and have commenced reading it. I think also I need to set a challenge as well with some specific limits of what is OFF LIMITS...which I will detail below. If I stick to it for 28 days I will take $150 out of the bank account to spend on some new tops from Lorna Jane ;)

So the list:
No KFC, mcdonalds, delivered pizza, hungry jacks etc etc
No buying hot chips or potato crisps from any retailer or restuarant
A maximum of 35 grams of chocolate purchased on any day (no family blocks - eep!)
No bakery goods (ie no pies, sausage rolls, cakes etc etc)
No hot dogs
At the chicken shop I can buy a yiros or a plain hamburger or 1/4 BBQ chicken and salad - nothing else

I am planning to try and conquer the cravings by making home made options of whatever it is I want. So if i crave a chicken burger I will make one at home with chicken breast etc. Like I read once if you eat more healthy nurtitious food you cram out the not good foods :) My aim is still to eat 1800 cals. I have my first slim session for the week next wednesday (I delayed it due to the heat) and what I am planning to tell her...is I want to eat 1800 cals a day...my primary goal is just cutting out the junk food....Im not so concerned about the weight loss over this time....just need to get a month or so under my belt of none of the above mentioned foods. I need to treat this just like a drug addict would with their drug of choice...my drug of choice is food....first few weeks might be hard but it will get better :)

Good food day :)

Foodwise the weekend went pretty well :) Ate 1452 cals yesterday and the goal was to be under 1500 cals so all good there. Today is a 1200 calorie day.

The weather here is friggin awful at the moment. Between now and friday it will be between 40 and 43 degrees (celsius) each day. UGH. I definitely wont be gymming it every day as its simply too hot. Tonight i wont go to the gym but hopefully after dinner it will be cool enough to go for a walk. Tomorrow and friday night i have PT so will go both of those days, and wednesday night i am weighing in so will do a cycle class when i go that day. By saturday its suppose to be down to 28 degrees (thankfully)

I found some good unprocessed recipes on the weekend so next weekend will do some baking so i have some snack foods apart from yoghurt! hah!

I have decided to back off from the running...its too hot plus I keep getting niggling injuries. (some hip pain, tight calve and occassionally some achilles pain) so instead it will be at the gym for me. I might occassionally do some intervals on the treadmill but thats it (and even that I will leave for the moment)

Not much else going on...stay cool everyone ;)

I'm back!

Well I know some people have asked where I am ;) I've been slack with my journal...specially as I don't have a laptop since mine was swollen. I am expecting to get a bonus from work in the next month or so and when I do my plan is to get a new lap top (thank god) i have a iPad but it's a lil hard to write LOTS with the keypad. BUT I think I need the daily writing in my journal.

For those who are unaware January 1 I weighed in at 105.6 kilos :( but I'm getting back in the swing of things. I will be doing a official weigh in on February 1 (I am doing daily weigh ins to keep an eye on things) my aim is to lose 2.5 kilos a month.

I have been back running (although currently have a very sore foot) I have signed up for a second PT session per week with tamika...we are doing weights in those sessions - I am really enjoying those so that is good.....I am doing them Tuesday and Friday nights. She is quite big on muscle recovery so she really does te want me doing things like pump the day after PT. This week I really wanna be at the gym more.....the aim is 5 days a week, so I'm thinking this week will be :

Monday - boxing & body balance
Tuesday - 20 mins cardio & 30 mins PT weights
Wednesday - 45 mins Rpm
Thursday - rest day
Friday - PT Session of weights
Saturday - 60 mins running & body balance
Sunday - 6km walk

I'm certainly not doing the insane amounts of exercise I was doing a few years ago but maybe in time it will build up more.....I still think what I am doing is a okay level.

Food wise I'm eating 1800 cals a day and calorie cycling (we all know I love calorie cycling!) I would love to be under 102 kilos by February 1 I did take photos on January 1 I will do some progress ones on feb 1.

I will be back to update tomorrow!