On track :)

Its funny how since the Jillian show my eating has been so on track. I have been a lil hungry right before meals (just as I use to get a few years ago) and I am not looking for food every minute I am awake LOL. I think some subtle messages must have gotten thru to me :)

In line with that the scales have gone down...altho my official weigh in is on saturday on the gyms scales....my trainer told me just to aim for a half a kilo loss but it will be bigger then that.

Tonight I was suppose to go to the gym for RPM...BUT i have come down with a sore throat and my ears are a bit blocked. Suspecting I may be coming down with something (but I have NO time for this!)...so tonight a early night...rug up will get warm and I have some lemsip...hopefully that will knock this on the head. I have run out of paid sick leave at least for a month or so...so cannot afford to be sick,

Not much else going on...still trying to come down to earth from Jillian haha!

Jillian Michaels

So I went to Brisbane on Thursday to see  Jillian Michaels show "Maximise your life". I flew in thursday morning and spent thursday at my Aunties house....I saw 2 Uncles I hadnt seen since I was 14 and 2 cousins I hadnt seen since I was 9 :)

Friday I spent the day at Southbank with my Aunty and we caught up with one other aunty for a coffee. Afterwards I went and got my eyebrows waxed and then Went back to the hotel for a lil lie down before the show.

I got to the theatre a lil after 6.30pm picked up my VIP pass:

I then went and bought some merchandise (which looking later at my bank account I shouldnt have)...I bought 2 t shirts...both black one in my current size and one in size small...so a goal t shirt :) I also bought a mug:

The show started a lil after 7.30pm. The show was broken up into 3 sections: Science (food), Sweat (exercise) and self (mindset) I seriously could have sat there for hourssssssssss listening to Jillian. When she initially came out she high 5'd everyone in the front row (and yes I was in the front row!) Janice who is her radio show producer was also part of the show and was HILARIOUS omg so funny! Here is some pics:

So what did I get out of the show??? LOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here is a brief recap in dot points:

Food: She showed how to work out how many calories to eat to lose weight. Surprisingly she had a easy way to lose weight...move more eat less LOL. But after she showed us that she then told us next important thing is NOT macros....but instead the quality of food is the next important thing. She then went on to explain to suss out what to eat or not to eat...do it like this - you rate foods 1 to 10. Foods that are a 1 are things like salmon, chicken breast, blue berries etc...foods that are a 5 are treat foods but treat foods not full of a pile of crap (organic chocolate for example) and a 10 food would be fast food junk. Sooooooooooo you eat 1 to 5 foods but no 10 foods. You eat 1 foods 80% of the time and 5 foods 20% of the time.

Nurture yourself: Have a relationship with yourself. As an example she said...if you want a partner who buys you flowers....go buy yourself flowers and put them on your bedside cabinet

Dont be a dick: self explainatory lol....basically....just be a nice person

Exercise : Work out at 85% of your heart rate. She recommended basically anything that gets you moving....her suggestions were pilates, yoga, kick boxing, running, weights, pole dancing. She then said....if pilates doesnt get you to 85% of your heart rate then do something else, but her emphasise was on doing what you enjoy. She also recommended 5-6 hours of exercise a week.

I also LOVED how she doesnt love exercise. My previous trainer made it seem wrong that I didnt like exercise. But Jillian was similar to me...doesnt enjoy the process but likes the benefits.

Dont cosign your own bullshit: Yep I do this too much. "Yeh Ill just eat this today...tomorrow I will get back on track" - no more

Be present: Nothing new here...but its so important to just live in the moment. I did that at the show...I paid attention only to the show...not taking photos or paying attention to others around me....

She talked a lot about how we all eat a sandwich full of such things as guilt, hate, anger etc and I could relate some of this to my weight gain. She also talked a lot about finding our why:

Theres a couple of reasons for my weight gain. My guilt from setting up limitations with mum. After she passed away I have felt guilty for that even tho I know it was the best decision for me especially for my mental health. We cannot change others actions/choices ... only our own. So I did what was best for me and while I wish mum was still here it is up to me to live the best life I can.

I dated someone in 2011...I think i felt "lucky" and that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity and if it didnt work out that was it for me. It didnt eventuate into anything and i think instead of putting myself out there again I let fear get in the way and decided to dump real people and reconnect with my friend food. I decided and remember very clearly deciding and saying (to anyone who would listen) I dont need the drama of meeting and dating someone. The truth of the matter is I want a social life. I want to get out there and travel, to hang with friends and spend a decent proportion of my life laughing, and with luck meet that person who not only makes me laugh but that I end up having some crazy, passionate relationship with. As Jillian says we all need a why,,,,thats my why,

And for the most important thing! A pic of me with Jillian!!

Decision made :)

Well after to-ing and fro-ing about returning to weight watchers I decided not to return and to stick to counting calories. I dont want to offend anyone about ww .... but for me....there is too much stuff up in the air...do you or dont you eat the weekly points, activity points etc...how many pieces of fruit do you stick too etc etc....I also looked at some of the meals.... fruit toast is less points then oats, protein powder and milk...while there is a slight calorie different....it seemed to me odd...to see a program like that where I would go...well fruit toast is lower points so i will go for that...but its got a huge amount of sugar in it....I just cannot come to a level of peace about it...if i was new to losing weight i prolly would....but with my nutritional knowledge it doesnt seem the right decision.

One of the big reasons for contemplating going to ww was the accountability of weighing in...but  my trainer had offered to do that on saturdays before PT so think i will message her tomorrow and tell her i want to start weighing in with her.

This week is a funny week....as I head off to brisbane thursday morning and see Jillian Michaels on friday (yay!). So exercise wise i will do PT on monday & tuesday, RPM on wednesday night, there is a workout with Jillian on friday (only 30 minutes) and then sunday when I am back I will go into the gym for body pump. So only 3 working days this week ... yay!

Have a fab day all =]

In the moment

Today I woke up early and was laying in bed ... thinking. I knew I had PT this morning and I was looking forward to it. I was keen. I wasnt keen to go do a trillion squats or pushups....but I was keen for the 45 minutes of just focusing on me and my journey....and knowing how accomplished I would feel afterwards.

It got me thinking how things can change. The trainer I have now I have only been training with since August. In november 2013 i started training with a different trainer..I realise now I was only going thru the motions....she didnt like me. She didnt like dealing with someone who had issues and wasnt in love with the gym. Having got to 173 kilos as my highest I obviously have issues. You dont put your body thru that kind of stress without giving it some long term effects. Whether it is mental effects (fears of breaking things from weight, falling over or simply how I looked doing certain exercises)

I ended up leaving when I couldn't deal with that trainer anymore (long story I wont bore yas with!), and what clicked to me today is whilst my personal training sessions are WAY more intensive these days...I am not just going thru the process....I am actually in the moment - which is so important!

So today I went into the gym, 15 minutes on the cross trainer and then a 45 minute PT session. My trainer comes and gets me and says....we are doing 100 reps of each exercise today....lol....dies! Haha!! But actually the session flew by!

So thats what I am going to remember today ...if I am just going thru the motions....whatever I am doing is probably not the right thing for me...keep looking for the right thing...so I can live in the moment!

October 15 2014

Feels like a lot has happened since the weekend!

So ive started doing the 3 PT sessions a week.  They are going really good and are basically weight sessions...altho they are cardio sessions as well...as they include a mix of things with the weight work. The sessions are going great, and she commented last night that my back (since the injury) has made really good progress....so thats awesome news :)

Foodwise I have been back on track since Sunday. But I decided yesterday some more accountability is needed. So I have decided to return to Weight Watchers. Food is food...its all the same (whether i count calories or Ww points) but i feel at the moment the accountability of the meetings will help. So I will start going mondays on 27/10 (next monday I have PT monday night due to me going away) So im still counting calories till I start and get a full understanding of their program (never know maybe Ill get lifetime membership!)

I have been at the gym the last 3 out of 4 days :) Ive had some stresses going on...and decided to not go tonight and have a "mental health break".... I am noticing the days I gym it....its a breeze sticking to my food.

I got my delivery of trutein chocolate peanut buttercup protein powder today (yum!!!) they also included some sachets of their other flavours (chocolate truffle, cinnabun, shamrock, vanilla bean) and also some pre workout drinks (think they are like high caffeine to get more out of ur workouts....need to look at them properly)....i love my oats with protein powder and cold milk so glad I will be back to having them in the morning!!

Any ww recommendations....Im happy to hear them (current recipe books I should get, food items - not that ill be eating much artificial foods, etc)

OH and btw!!! 7 sleeps till I head off to brisbane...and 8 sleeps till Jillian!

October 12 2014

Last night I went out to dinner with Martine. I was getting dressed to go out....grabbed a jumper of mine. Its a gorgeous jumper....anyway it was a jumper I love...thats a loose fit. I havent worn it for a month or two....put it on....and it was even tight on my ARMS! my arms!!! like wtf???? I was so disgusted....I felt awful the entire night. Over the last week clothes are not fitting me, ive got a very slight amount of fluid on my feet (anyone who followed my journal from 2006 may remember I had severe fluid retention in my feet and calves that took months to improve), cramps in my toes (these are agony), its got to the point where its no longer a option. I cannot restart the next day or the day after..at this rate i will be 173 kilos again before I know it....and that just cannot happen pure and simple.

The bright light in all this is I am still pretty damn fit. I talked lots with Martine last night, one of the keys for me has ALWAYS been the gym. I need to attend the gym at least 5 days a week. The gym has always been a huge source of motivation for me. Even days I dont attend the gym....at the very least I need to go for a walk. So my exercise plan this week is:

monday : 45 minutes RPM + 30 minutes treadmill
tuesday: 45 minutes PT + 30 minutes treadmill
wednesday: 45 minutes RPM + 30 minutes treadmill
thursday: 45 minutes PT + 30 minutes treadmill
friday: Yoga (if i can make the class on time if not 45 minutes treadmill)
saturday: 45 minutes PT + 30 minute walk
sunday: Body balance

Heres to a healthy week!

October 11 2014

So I decided to up the ante and have committed to doing 3 PT sessions per week. Now I must say...I have done PT for years...these sessions are without a doubt the hardest I have ever done! LOL...For one thing they are longer....45 minutes. She (Candice) does a lot of circuit work including weights and cardio...which is very similar to how Jillian trains ;) So I did a PT session on thursday night and I did another this morning.Let me say the session involved: seated rows, step ups, bench press, weighted squats, leg press, wall squat sits, burpees, rower, walking lunges, crunches, cycling hah...I kid you not!

So my PT sessions are now: tuesday, thursday and saturday. So basically I have a session once every 2 to 3 days. My trainer when we discussed it was like....we will do weights in your sessions (altho as you can see from above plenty of cardio as well) and you can do cardio the other days (mostly monday and wednesday to allow for recovery on friday and sunday) When my trainer came to get me for my session today I was on the treadmill, walking on a incline. And she was like...question do you ever jog on this thing. hah. So she wants me to work on the jogging/running thing.

Tonight off out for dinner with Martine.

Have a fab night all!

5 October 2014

Yanno I nearly didnt post today....yet again my eating has not been great...and I thought oh i cannot again post "i am getting back on track" but yanno its my journal....so ill post it again and again till i do get completely back on track ;)

I have started to go thru my MFP friend list...not that I have a lot of friends on there but I do have a number of people who will post things like "i want to eat all the carb foods you have butter on"....and i think subconciously it is prolly a lil triggering. I think have online support is a GREAT benefit....but it needs to be the right support. Some of my friends on MFP are also not anti additives...and by that i mean they will debate whether there is scientific proof if artificial sweeteners, additives etc have been scientifically proven to cause issues. So I think I need to keep a watch on that list.

Anyway....back onto things...I think tho I will do a straight 1500 calories for a week or so then once I start to plateau Ill switch to calorie cycling. Tomorrow the gym is closed (well its open when I  am at work only) so no gym tomorrow night....but i am finishing work at 3.30pm so theres no reason not to fit a walk in...then tuesday night PT. I also start a second PT session per week this week. As has always been the case for me....they gym is crucial for me....its where I get a lot of motivation from...so time to really throw myself back into it! So exercise wise this is the plan this week:

Monday : Small walk
Tuesday : PT plus some cardio work
Wednesday : Upper body workout
Thursday : RPM Friday ; Leg workout
Saturday : PT plus some cardio workout


The aim would be to burn 3000 calories this week...so a average of 6oo cals a day (without accounting for monday)

I have stomach cramps today so didnt do a lot...relaxed watching tv....did a couple of loads of washing....washed my bed linen so fresh sheets on the bed tonight...yay!

Okay....here is to a good week...:)