What a week!

Soooooooooooo this has kinda been a eventful week and I cannot remember if I have posted any of this yet!

So....going back a bit.....ive been eating 1200-1300 calories. Over the last few weeks I started to get super tired. I noticed in my workouts I wasnt doing as well as normal...not getting a high strokes per min on the rower....struggling to focus with certain exercises....not doing as high weights on certain exercises. I knew it was possibly related to the lack of food but I figured my body would adjust and to just try and get thru it. Then last weekend I was sick all weekend (gastro, then flu-ish then a migraine). I must admit I was not only tired but i was pissed off.....annoyed by lack of progress...sick of the fact 7.5 years i still wasnt at goal....hate that I had another fall at the gym (when i fell on the treadmill...which I might say is STILL sore ffs!)...feeling too old for my gym blah blah blah the list goes on lol....

So anyway on monday I told my trainer I was taking a week off from the gym and so wouldnt be in for PT. She was a lil surprised but ok with that. I think now looking back on the week I am glad I did it....I was so tired it gave me time to get over my tiredness.

I also did some reading and came across the website www.eattoperform.com. Really interesting site....the premise of their nutrition and exercise....it to eat high enough that it supports your workouts so you can perform at your best. If you eat enough that you can lift more (as a example) then you are going to not all do better but build muscle which if you are maintaining or losing weight via the scale....if your building muscle you would be losing fat. They also dont see carbohydrates as devil food....instead they work on timing your carbs to assist your workouts. So about a hour before i workout i will eat about 50 grams of carbs (so a quest bar and a banana)....then you eat 50 grams after you workout as well as about 25 grams of protein. You eat the carbs before hand to give you the energy to perform and the carbs and protein after is to help with muscle recovery and to get glycogen in your system which is what aids your muscle in recovery.

Now the calorie limit they estimate for me is 2300 calories LOL. But i cannot imagine my cals will get that high. I am starting this tomorrow and will be eating 1500 calories (125 grams of carbs, 125 grams of protein and 55 grams of fat)...then each week i will increase my calories by 100 cals a day. Which will equate to a extra 15 grams of protein and 4 grams of fat lol. The aim is to get my protein up to 185 grams a day which should take 4 weeks....so that point I will be at 1900 calories....I suspect that is as high as I will prolly go as I cannot imagine losing at 2300 calories.

They also have what they call active and control days. Theoretically you eat the same amount of protein and fat on both days....but on your active days (workout days) i would eat 200 grams of carbs and on control days (rest days) only 100-125 grams of carbs. But because I like to do things my own way LOL...my intent is for control days (which will prolly be wednesday, thursday and sunday) will be to eat only 1500 cals. So as you can see my timing of carbs will be quite different....low carb early in the day....and then eating all my carbs from 3pm onwards....

Tomorrow I will take some measurements...some photos...and take note of my LBM, body fat and actual weight. And start. I have already submitted my food in MFP....its a heck of a lot of protein and thats prolly gonna be the biggest struggle...but Im determined to give this a solid try (at least for 3 months unless I have some ridiculous huge gain of weight from it)

Monday night I am meeting with my trainer to discuss things and to look at my workouts and just to get my head back in the game.

Have a good day/night all!

I have taken this week off the gym. I really need to make some decisions about it. There is a part of me that feels I am too old for that gym these days. Its definitely predominantly members under 30....those 40 and over prolly only make up 10% of the clients (and I think I am being generous there lol) and its not just the age thing its that I am so concerned with hurting myself again. As i have mentioned more times then I can count....ever since I broke my wrist in combat I havent gone back to combat. Pisses me off in reality cos it was one class I really enjoyed...but I had fallen over maybe 4 times in that class before I broke the bone so I cannot risk that again :(

I then of course fell off the treadmill last week. It seriously would have been hilarious if I had been watching it...and my foot is still sore 10 days later...I am paranoid about getting on a treadmill again and falling again....bottom line I cannot keep falling and injuring myself....it fails all logic to me to keep going to the gym if all I am accomplishing is that I am hurting myself.

So anyway I sent a message to the gym manager saying to take my name off the foxy challenge...I also messaged my trainer to say I was taking a week off from the gym.

I really need to make a concrete decision one way or the other....either I need to suck it up...throw myself into the gym and get this weight moving....or look at a gym with a "older" demographic....or decide that I am content with this weight....maintain via nutrition but give up this whole gym gig. I off course am leaning towards the first option.....but I need to stop being willy nilly about this stuff...I need to committ...or give it up.

So that is where things are currently at...ive had a few bad days of eatin (101.5 kilos this morning) but im back on track with my eating today. Decisions, decisions.

Ive not had a great weekend....partly due to not feeling well....yesterday morning i had a touch of gastro...then this morning i woke with a sore throat and headache (not feeling too bad at the moment then)...sitting around with not much to do as I was resting has led me to being hugelyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy bored and too much time to think!

I then got thinking about how damn long this has all taken....2 years ago...i was a few kilos within goal n now im 20 kilos away seven and a half years later. It does feel like i am never going to get there. My biggest  struggle at the moment isnt the food (even if i havent eaten great the last 2 days) its my exercise and my lack of confidence...i avoid so much cos i lack confidence at the gym....theres a running group starts tomorrow night...im tempted to join it yet at the same time i dont feel confident with a new group of people and running thru the streets of adelaide is terrifying (the other week i was crossing the lights near work....and a car went past and yelled,,,,,move your fat ass...)...i dont do boxing anymore cos i worry that i wont be able to keep up...even tho i realise just doing my best is all that should matter...i dont do body combat cos im scared of falling over....and now having slipped on the treadmill i am absolutely terrified of that happening again ..... blah blah....

I think also signing up for the foxy challenge was a mistake....i dont do good with a "competitive environment" and i really wanna do my own thing with nutrition not feel oblidged to do what others think i should do...im thinking tomorrow i may write a email to the manager of the gym asking to just be taken out of the challenge. I think i should do the running group tho...will decide tomorrow morning! Tomorrow i will weigh in and then will weigh in on friday,,,,,each friday will be a weigh in day :)

Ive been pretty slack about updating this blog....no other reason apart from busy and tired when i have had free time :)

Food wise I am going MOSTLY good...was going great when suddenly last night 15 minutes before bed I wanted grill cheese on toast and had way too many slices of it ;) but back on track today...unfortunate;y with that lil slip up the scales went up 1.2 kilos (is that crazy or what? but mostly that will be from sodium).

The foxy challenge started on monday. I have really done good exercise wise (for me anyway hah!) monday was a public holiday....tuesday, wednesday and today I did 30 minutes cross trainer and a 30 minute PT session and thursday I did 30 minutes on the xtrainer....tomorrow i will do body pump and body balance. Tonight we did a kettle bell circuit...i came home and wrote it out hah since i now have a 8 kilo kettle bell...so might do it on sunday.

Today I went and bought new shoes! One pair of asics cross trainers and one pair of asics running shoes (might need to use them to actually run!) might even venture out and do a run on sunday :)

Weight wise I lost 1.4 kilos this week....altho....will have to see what happens next week considering last nights grilled cheese LOL Oh well rome wasnt built in a day!

I decided to set some goals too:

Under 95 kilos by April 2
Under 90 kilos by April 23
Under 85 kilos by June 4

They are all pretty BIG goals...really need to be getting the exercise and the nutrition spot on....next weeks exercise schedule is:
monday : 30 minutes cardio + 30 minutes boxing
tuesday : 30 minutes cardio + 30 minutes PT + 30 minutes functional fit
wednesday : RPM + 30 minutes cardio
thursday : 45 minutes body pump + 45 minutes RPM
friday : 30 minutes cardio + 30 minutes PT
saturday : 30 minutes cardio + 60 minutes body pump + 60 minutes body balance

:)

Oops theres a treadmill in my way :(

So one of my biggest fears happened...I fell on the bloody treadmill....I didnt roll my ankle or anything my shoes just seemed to have no grip and I slipped ended up lying flat on the treadmill with the stupid thing still going...if i had seen that happen...I woulda laughed....i was beyond embarressed...I really dont know I can do the treadmill anymore...I dont do it often cos I worry ill hurt myself and there it happens...not that I am badly hurt or anything....grazed my knees and the top of my left foot is tender....that is all...im sure it will be all good in a day or two.

I then of course I got in a funk. Ive already been thinking I am too old for this gym gig. I think every fall...or every time I feel incompetent there i feel more and more the time is to give up on this gym thing. Ultimately I can be at a healthy weight range without the gym...we all know weight loss is 90% nutrition. But at the same time I know weight training is important to help reduce the effects of the loose skin. At this point...I wont do step....combat...attack...or go on the treadmill. I still have cardio I can do...RPM classes...cross trainer....stair climbing out on the stairs at the back of the gym. In fact maybe I should get back into the stair climbing...I like the solitude of it...it really helped with my fitness when I did it previously. On top of that I have my PT sessions...body balance....body pump. Ill prolly get bored but for the moment I think those are the things I should stick with....maybe if I could do those things without killing myself I might increase my confidence and I could get back to other things. The other thing is maybe I should start thinking about running outdoors....the thing about running is it burns oodles of calories for me...so I really benefit from it. If these things dont work I could always move on to things like insanity....im just not very good at being dedicated at home workouts.

The foxy challenge starts on monday. As of this morning I weigh 98.3 kilos. I would LOVE to be 85 kilos by the end of the challenge (stat of june) but 13.3 kilos is a LOT to lose within 12 weeks. It is doable but a lot of work. I have been eating 1200-1300 calories lately....and easily maintaining at that eating level....the foxy challenge is for 1200 calories a day...Ill stick to what I have been doing. 85 kilos is when I would fit into my size large LJ flashdance pants....I have two brand new pairs...I would be ecstatic to wear them again! Not much else going on....just 200 grams of hitting 75 kilos lost....hopefully reach that early next week :)

So workout wise it will look like this this week (this is the plan anyways!)

monday : 6km walk/run (dependant on how my foot is by then)
tuesday : 30 mins cardio + 30 mins PT
wednesday : 14 flights of stairs + 45 mins RPM + 30 mins PT
thursday : 7 flights of stairs + 45 mins pump + 45 mins RPM or 30 mins functional fit
friday : 45 mins boxing + 30 mins cardio + 30 mins PT
saturday : 60 mins body pump + 60 mins body balance

Weigh in day :)

Weigh in day :) Which is always a good day if I lose! hah! Lost 1.8 kilos. So i am now down to 99.1 kilos. The foxy challenge starts on monday which runs for 12 weeks. Whilst it would be awesomeeeeeeeeeeeee to get to 85 kilos by the end of the challenge I think thats me just dreaming hah! So going to aim for 8.5 kilos to be lost over that time. Since the challenge works on a points system for the more things you attend at the gym...this was the primary reason for doing it as it may get me to be more consistent with the gym...which is what I really need to focus on at the moment. I feel like I have got my nutrition right where it needs to be for the modem...but boy oh boy the gym is lacking lol.

I really need to get over being anxious about entering group situations. Thats what puts me of boxing classes. The gym is starting a running group. $80 to attend twice a week for 6 months. But again I just dont like group scenarios (any wonder why i always like to do PT lol)...I know ill be the slowest....and while i get the concept the more you run the faster/better you get thats never worked for me. I know partly thats cos I dont like taking myself out of my comfort zone. The idea while running of huffing and puffing is revolting to me lol yet I realise I need to do that to get better.

But apart from that all is good! :)