Sunday, May 08, 2016

Choose love over fear

So last night eating was not good. I went over with too much cheese (albeit gross low fat stuff) and bread and maybe a skinny cow ice cream or two, and when i woke this morning the scales were up to 128 kilos...I contemplated just skipping todays post to avoid telling anyone lol...but truthfully...I am wanting to be a lot more honest about my eating then I have been the last few it is what it is. But unlike other times recently...I woke and just got back on with things. Currently I am cooking dinner...I am having a Jamie Oliver Rosemary and garlic chicken breast with a punnet of roasted cherry tomatos with 50 grams of avocado and 28 grams of feta cheese..and that will put my calories at 1530 for the day ;)

Yesterday arvo I went to the second hand store and bought 4 new tops (I really need to stop buying clothes!) and then on the way home i picked up a bunch of lilac pretty!

Today I played some gammon this morning and then ventured into town this arvo to go look for some books. I found one (which was recommended on a you tube channel i watch) called "Mastering your mean girl" which is about dealing with the negative self talk etc. Only a couple of chapters in and really loving it...I also bought a new Nicci French book...which it is the first one in a new series. I really want to start reading more books about improving myself...lets face it...I know the mechanics of losing weight (we all do) but its the positive mindset for me which needs working on.

So back to my eating and the scales. I decided the running bare clothes I bought....I am not going to wear them till i am under 120 a goal for me. They are firm fitting now anyway and will fit better then so I think thats a good goal. I am also considering going back to food coaching. Most of my weight I previously lost....I lost with food coaching....basically i went from 145 kilos to about 90 kilos with food coaching....there is something to be said for accountability of weighing in front of someone. I will keep going as I am for the moment but if I feel the need for the accountability then I will talk to the gym about that.

Back to work tomorrow! And early starts...need to be up at 5.30am (oh em gee), so lunch is already made and packed...I am going to come home after work before heading to the gym tomorrow (since i will finish so no need to pack my gym bag) and speaking of the gym...tomorrow i am doing my first group personal training session....monday night one is called its along the lines of cardio using some martial arts techniques.....hopefully i will survive! I am usually so daunted by group this book recommends...i am going to choose love over fear :)  I have as much right as anyone else to do these group sessions....ill just work at my own pace...and keep reminding myself..."choose love over fear"

Okay think thats about gonna read a lil more before i settle in for the night with a few more episodes of friends :)

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