Weigh in result

As per usual I am behind on my posting ;) I should post more regularly would prolly help me...but...im kinda lazy LOL

Weight loss wise I lost 900 grams this week and was sitting at 115 kilos....my cycle arrived on tuesday and as of this morning i am sitting at 115.2 kilos...not much of a gain considering its my cycle....but STILL id like the scales to start moving in the right direction again!

Exercise wise...well...i did 3 PT sessions this week...but that will prolly change to 2 PT sessions a week from next week....but heres the thing....I NEED to motivate myself. Yanno i did PT with fiona all those years ago...cos well quite frankly I needed it...at 150 kilos....my headspace, confidence etc needed a lot of work....fiona helped immensely with that and also with keeping things logical and not getting caught up in other peoples expectations, opinions etc. Now I still lack confidence at times...not all the time but at certain times....and mostly its at the gym. I tried to think this week why dont i go to the gym like i did when i lost the weight before. Partly I think its cos i was 80 kilos and now im 115 kilos....it doesnt matter that im under 173 kilos....i have felt how it feels to be only 80 kilos...i have heavy now....its a effort...i have achilles pain (which means walking distances isnt really doable) im sure thats related to my weight....my knees ache (altho admittedly ive noticed in the last week or two that has started to improve). Now im gonna say something now and i know people will go "no that isnt true" but the truth is its how i feel. I feel out of place at the gym. I get that people go to the gym to lose weight and get fit...dont worry i get that....but i feel out of place....when I go into a class i guess i just feel i dont belong. Now i guess forcing myself into the classes eventually i would get over this. But right at this precise moment thats how I feel. And im sure lots of people feel this....and i guess it comes down to will i push myself to get past that barrier....if i honestly want to get my health back long term the gym has to feature into it. The other thing is...body combat *sigh*.... it was the one aerobic/cardio class I liked...but being the total klutz i am....and the fact about the last 5 times I did this class I fell in it everytime (breaking my wrist one of these times) id love to go back to it....but in all honesty i cannot even risk it....everytime I think about classes....i think about body combat. :(

Anyway the fact of the matter is i need to just start doing...not cos someone at the gym thinks i should....but simply cos of the fact i know it will get results and i know its healthy for me...and maybe, maybe, maybe one day cos i actually enjoy it (again lol)

Not a heck of a lot going on...today is my low cal day....and i am so ready for it to be over with! LOL Enjoy all :)