Today, mentally with this weight loss journey is kinda a blah day. The scales went up AGAIN....last monday morning I hit 114.7 kilos....every day since I have had small gains...taking the total gain to 1.3 kilos. Initially I figured it was due to my cycle...but its continued to go up...even on 1200 calorie days. This mornings gain I kinda understand cos I am a lil sore after pump and balance and yesterday was also a high cal day of 1800 calories. But in the back of my mind I am like...I could gain 1.3 kilos without spending time in the gym or with my head stuck in MFP tracking calories and macros. But the sensible part of me knows it cannot keep going up (surely not??? lol) and that I just have to stick at it and really focus on exercise....while exercise wont necessarily make the number on the scales go down quicker....it will hopefully help more with reshaping my body as well as improving my fitness, cardiovascular etc.
One thing I really have come to realise over the last few days, cos I have been thinking about it a LOT....is i need to rely more on me. And i kinda touched on this the other day...having PT sessions is all good and well...and back in 2008 there was no doubt i needed them...mentally as well as physically. I am at a different place now...I need to be a lot more in control of what I do or dont do. I am still doing PT twice a week....but thats simply 2 x 30 minute sessions a week....I really need to be active at least 4 days a week. And im the only one who can do that. I really need to just force myself more into the gym classes. Thats honestly where I feel my focus needs to be. Classes worked for me before...they can work for me again. Of course its highly unlikely I will do combat again lol...but the rest of the classes I can get back into. And even if i dont lose weight at the rate i want....as long as I am healthier today then i was yesterday....theres a reason it took me a long time to lose weight last time...and lets be honest...im 47, with PCOS those 2 things alone are going to go against me.
Not a lot else going on today....getting washing done....and getting organised for the coming week....I am on earlies again this week...which means...5.30am alarms lol which means being super organised cos im kinda hopeless in the mornings ;)