Finding the passion

When I was successful with my weight loss all those years ago, one of the key things with why I was successful was it wasnt just a "diet"....it was my hobby, my passion. When big things in my life happened (dealing with a death in my family) I lost that....I lost my way...and was simply trying to get thru my day without awful visions my mind came up with of last moments, I lost it and I dont think for a long time it even occurred to me I lost it. For many months now I have been aware of this and I have wondered "how do I get that back?"

Going back a few weeks ago....I was in a rut...I really wasnt in the zone....I was going thru the steps cos I felt thats what everyone else expected. I knew I wasnt going to be successful with this mindset...so I emailed the gym said can you put my membership on hold....they emailed me back and asked if everything was okay....my response was:

"....my headspace in relation to exercise and eating well etc....I dont seem to have the right head space (which is partly why I signed up for food coaching)....I have a few good days then a few bad days so I am hoping a week or so of not focusing on it I might get the drive back :)"

At first I did nothing...I ate bad....was completely lazy....spent lots of time watching netflix. Slowly I was starting to get the drive back...over the weekend I thought...I might go on you tube and see if i can find any decent weight loss docs. Initially I found one documentary on this woman who went from being pregnant to a fitness model....a good 1 hour documentary....which I realised was used to try and sell her "plan". A day or later I did a search on you tube again searching "weight loss transformations" I found a couple of good ones...then I found one called obesetobeast...man...i was addicted! I watched this channel for hours! I came home from work today....watched more of his channel...then thru a link on his channel found another one called "Fit men cook" omg more addicted! And I have only watched 3 of his videos so far lol...suddenly i realised that interest was still there...I still enjoy watching about nutrition and peoples fitness journeys....I just needed to realise it is no longer 2006 and mediums change. I have kept this blog going for a longggggggggggg time...its been going for 9 years now....but lets be honest blogging isnt one of the great social network mediums these days. So back tracking a lil bit. A few days ago I emailed the gym and asked if my membership could be reactivated as of 16.4. The owner of the gym called me, explained my trainer had left the gym and I would be doing food coaching with her and she could see me on the 15th.

After watching you tube this week I knew what I wanted...I want this...I dont want it cos its expected of me...I want to become a strong warrior (noticed not a skinny warrior ;)) First thing I did was email the company I have in the past used for protein powder (www.aplussupplements.com.au), advising them how much weight I want to lose, how I normally eat my protein powder and what protein powder would they recommend? I also then asked them about pre workout supplements...they wrote back very quickly...recommended 3 different protein powders and also recommended a pre workout...when i looked at the pre workout....there was a few things that made me keen on it. One it isnt the type the causes sleep issues or makes you jittery, two...it has green tea in it three...elevates your metabolism....four...provides vital minerals and vitamins such as fatty acids...five .... surpresses appetite somewhat six...its also suppose to be a mood enhancer too....So i order both it and the protein powder....which I should receive both early next week.

I then knew I needed to pick a start date. From that date....thats it....on track. I have also messaged someone who has helped me in the past working out my calories and macros. I wont be eating less then 1800 calories...but as I have gained weight I want to make sure thats enough. I was never a fan of 1200 calorie diets...in fact I detested them (sorry all the michelle bridges fans!) im not saying i wont do 1200 cals at any point...but at close to 130 kilos....1200 calories is the last thing I need! My focus is to eat as much as I can while still losing weight and seeing body shape changes. At the most I think he will suggest my calories be 2000.....which sounds a lot...but when i was a lil under 90 kilos I would eat 1800 cals and would see big changes in my body shape eating that and focusing on my macros!

Ive decided also with this new journey (and lets face it...its different to before and I dont want to rest on my laurels) I want my focus to be on instagram, you tube and facebook. I am considering changing my name from "kazzs journey" the reason for this? Well im honestly thinking long term....when I lost my weight before...opportunities came my way....I just never felt I capitalised on them. In the past Thats Life has told me they would like to do another story if I got to goal...there are so many opportunities that could come my way from....(and this is way in the future!) from writing ebooks (on my journey, my tips etc)....creating tshirts with my logo...maybe way way way down the track doing some sort of coaching or motivational support....maybe a site which could go in who knows what direction....so (and I am getting to my point! lol) whilst I realise "Kazzs Journey" has a bit of a following I dont think its a great title for something like that...it needs to be something more thats identifiable as me, that is more of a logo...motto...and not merely my name. I would like to decide on one of these and then start to get myself out in the social networking world under this new identity (so ie you tube, facebook, instagram and possibly blog altho I think if i do a blog i will try and workout word press! So if anyone has any helpful hints send them my way! I want to become much more involved...cos this IS my hobby....I want to learn about graphics (I can do some basic stuff)....learn web design....learn video editing..this is no longer a "diet" its not even a "lifestyle" its back to it being my passion! ;)

In relation to you tube and instagram thats prolly my initial focus. And will start to play with that on saturday (which is day 1 for getting back on track!) My plan is saturday I will video parts of my day...video my weigh in....and video my food.

Down the track I will do videos on topics...i will try and "interview" different friends on weight loss journeys or weight loss champions...and maybe way way way down the track even podcasts might be a thing!

So now that I have got that out there! LOL I need to think about this new identity....I would love to hear all your suggestions! I want it to be something thats very me, thats unique and catchy. Something that captures what I am about (and I will stress again that is to become someone who is fit, healthy,glowing, strong....not someone skinny with lil energy)

So some of my thoughts are:

Fluffytofabulous
ProteinPrincess
Fluffy2fit
Porky2Princess
Sheddingthefluffyme
Formerfluffball
The strength in me
Bestversionofme
championofchange
Successwithstrength
strengthandsuccess
persistancenotperfection

Id really love a identity that uses the word strength or strong in it....I also kinda like the word fluffy (in case you hadnt gathered LOL) anyway if you have any thoughts let me know!