Well I am still in Sydney for a few more hours...I managed to snag a computer with internet access and decided to make the most of it. This has been a great trip. Its been a mixture of relaxation, reflection, fun, and eating some great food ! ;)

I have done all the normal things you do in sydney, took photos, went down to circular quay, went to darling harbour, walked lots, enjoyed the atmosphere. Yesterday was a big day...of relection and thinking. I went out to my dads gravesite, this is at a cementry out of the city...anyone who is on my facebook knows it was a battle to get out there (NSW's bus system sucks!) But I made it there. Dad passed away 31 years ago last friday...and his funeral was 31 years ago today. And I was surprised at how emotional I felt. I can always think of the good things with dad currently so I was suprised how it affected me. I took some flowers...sat at his lil spot, ate a cupcake...talked to him a lil...I couldnt stop touching the headstone. It was hard to see but I feel better. Ive always worried about how the site was cared for and its kept beautifully...I will definitely go out there again on more future sydney trips.

In line with that today is the 1 year anniversary of mums passing. Anyone who has read my journal(s) over this past year. Its been a year of firsts...the first xmas without mum, her first birthday, first mothers day without etc. And there was definitely a element of me feeling robbed of my mum and thinking this should never have happened to her yet...she was a healthy, active 67 year old she should still be ringing me up driving me nuts ;) And i am one who struggles emotionally and didnt really have a outlet (well except food and eating!) Giving up the diet coke has given me a much clearer thought process (this is day 9 of no diet coke). I have a much better clarity of what I want and what I need to do. I arrive home tonight...tomorrow i will weigh in, back to the gym tomorrow night and PT. I am going back to 1200 calories tomorrow for 2 weeks and then reassess. I want to see how my body copes performance wise as well as satiety wise. I know I can lose on eating as much as 1800 calories but I do feel 1800 calories is too much for me. I think 1200-1500 calories is a nice balance. If i could mnage 1200 cals for a while then that would be great as it will really give it all a kick start. I know I can do this...I just have to put my plans into action.

There is also a 5km walk/jog/run thru north adelaide for women only on 29/9 which I think I might give a whirl as welll! Heres to getting back on track!