Kicking this weight loss in the ass!!!

Well this is a incredibly overdue post...but i think its taken up till today to realise whats going on with me. Several months ago i weighed 79-80 kilos...i wasnt happy....i wasnt getting below that number and not happy that i may have got to the end of the road for me. I decided i was going to maintain but i really sucked at it...slowly i put a kilo or two on...i tried 1200 cals for a few weeks which started a binge cycle....the occassional week i had a good week and got some losses but i wasnt consistent. Over the last few months....ive struggled....i havent been cooking much....ive slowly eaten more and more carb snacks....about 8 weeks ago i started drinking diet coke....i was telling anyone who listened how i hate working out and suddenly i also wasnt motivated to work out. I still kept up my PT session but not much else.

I always have thought to myself...having such a public journey i can NEVER gain weight...imagine if i put on 20 kilos how people would talk? So much for being this great weight loss person. Well the truth of the matter is this morning i weighed 90.2 kilos :( tomorrow morning will be 48 hours into my cycle and knowing my cycle i will have another gain tomorrow. I feel like everyone can see ive gained and prolly thinking "omg look how she has let herself go" and in a sense i have...this is all my own doing...no one elses. But if there is one thing ive learnt on this journey is that i cant give up...this is really make or break time for me...im only 10-11 kilos of where i want to be....its not actually the end of the world but if i keep gaining it might as well be!! So its time to knuckle down...get back to enjoying this journey and my workouts and getting back to my "happy place"

So whilst some people (friends at work...friends i socialise with) knew id been drinking the diet coke again for a few months...id kept it pretty quiet not wanting to tell fiona i was drinking it again! lol This morning at one work one of the guys said to me "what did fiona tell her when you told her your drinking diet coke again" i was like ummmmmmmmmmmm nothing???? Cos i havent told her! Later in the day i was drinking yet another diet coke....and i just realised...it takes like a chemical...the taste is nothing special...and certainly the taste isnt worth being unhappy and gaining weight for! So i finished that can of drink...sent fiona a message telling her whats been going on (oops!) and with that...that is that!!! So i thought about it....and thought im going to go back to what the doctor at the dexa scan said to me....2000 calories per day...calorie cycling...getting my protein up and burning at least 1800 calories a week. So ive worked out the calorie cycling...went to the health food store and picked up some tahini and some more protein powder (a BSC one that has 30 grams of protein per serve! woo!) I then gymmed it...unfortunately i hadnt eaten for several hours (like 5!) i got to the gym burnt 299 on the stairs and cross trainer...then went in and did pump....but had a bit of a dizzy spell :( my weights were higher then normal again (warm up 4.75 kilos each end, squat 7.5 kilos each end, chest 3.75 kilos each end, back 3.75 kilos each end, lunges 5 kilos, biceps 2.5 kilos, shoulders mixture of 1.25 kilos - 5 kilos, and 3.75 kilos of each end for triceps) unfortunately tho in the lunge track i spaced out...must have been obvious too cos the instructor said several times "are you okay karyn" and then said later i know u did higher weights but were u okay...so smack my ass for not eating prior to working out (specially as i burnt 800 calories!)

Anyway so with my cycling 2500 calories tomorrow....no cakes, diet coke...and lots of fruit! (not too excess of course tho!) Running with fiona in the morning followed by pump and balance...perfect day to kick this weight loss thing in the ass!! :)