Heres the reality of things....for the last 6 months i have not been as focused as i once was...im not positive why...sometimes i think i never settled down after fiona left the gym (even tho i still train with her)....sometimes i think its that after hurting my back....i feel cautious of it and dont throw myself back into the gym how i use too...ive got slack...i still workout every tuesday and saturday with fiona and the last 5 weeks or so wednesday nights with Nora....but im not at the level i use to be...i use to gym it on monday nights and it was always a huge nite...2 classes followed by PT...now i cant even remember the last time i was at the gym on a monday night! Even when i have trained on wednesday with noras...thats all ive done just my 30 minute PT sessions....i then use to train on thursday nites...nope dont go in thursday nites and rarely do on friday nites....ive also really struggled with my eating...especially lately i have been binging to a degree....i eat reistrictive for 2-3 days then have a day of what i classify as binging...which is where its like i think the food is going to run out so i have to eat it as quickly as possible ... i dont even taste it...now that said i havent for the last 6 days...which is a improvement....thank god ive still been training with fiona...as my gain has been restricted over this 6 month period to about 3 kilos...but im tired...im tired of people saying i dont need to lose anymore weight...i get by comparison to where i started im much healthier...but i still have fat...on my legs...tummy...butt...im still 6 kilos off from the healthy weight range...and i guess i get people will think...whats she whinging about ....she is so close to goal....but its not about that....its about feeling in control...and at the moment i dont feel in control...just like 5 years ago when i wasnt in control. I know i need to get a better attitude...and also get back to the "gym is not negotiable" and whilst i may change gyms or look at other options when my gym contract ends...i know to be in the now...and i just HAVE to get back to attending the gym...and not allowing to talk myself into not going .... and i also need to stop saying "ill get back on track tomorrow" cos as we all know....tomorrow never comes.
So i want to commit to the gym over the next 7 days....so my plan is:
wednesday : 30 mins PT with Nora then 60 min workout with Fiona
thurdsay : Body Pump
friday : Body Pump
Saturday : 60 min outdoor workout + body pump + body balance
Sunday : 6km walk
Monday : Boxing + Body Combat
Tuesday : 60 min outdoor workout with Fiona
I mean thats a big workout week....but if I committ to it...which would mean ill be focused on going to the gym each nite...not lazying around home....maybe if i get back into the workouts the food will fall into place. The next two days with my cycling of calories are both high calorie days...so i should be able to stick to them without a issue...so 1800 tomorrow and 2000 on thursday. Ill weigh myself tomorrow and work on being stronger and getting my focus back....because the honest truth is im NOT satisfied at this weight....im not happy with the tone of my body....whilst i realise ive done good i need to get out of this level of complacency and while i need to be careful of my back....i need to stop avoiding stuff cos of my back...need to keep increasing those weights safely in pump...i need to get back on the rower and starting increasing that..i also need to start doing the homework fiona sets me every night...not just when it suits me!! I have 2 weeks till Sydney...id like to be under 80 kilos by then....time to honestly refocus! Ive said it before...but I need to just keep on trying till i truly get back on track
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