Struggling

I am struggling a lil at the moment, with numerous aspects of this whole weight loss. The no diet coke is not helping lol...with me and diet coke...when I am peckish especially after dinner i will have a diet coke. And not having the diet coke and the fact i dont drink tea or coffee....if i want something to tide me over calorie free...im stuck with water or water or water. After drinking 3 litres of water per day....im over water by dinner time. There is a huge part of me that wants to go back to having my diet coke cos weight loss wise i think it actually assists. Health wise I realise its not good for me.....but kinda at the moment i guess im in the headspace where weight loss is the priority for me.

So yes I have picked after dinner and found myself hungry mid afternoon. I changed a few things (swapped 12 cashews in the afternoon to some natural yoghurt, chia seeds, manuka honey and blueberries) but that works out a lot more calories. Admittedly its food full of nutrients but as im still trying to lose weight i need to be wary with my calories. Which is where the diet coke comes in....if i ate just my 12 cashews and a diet coke im sure i would be satisfied.

Also still adjusting to no fiona....that one is hard...i have been gymming and have been each day this week and burnt a good number of calories. But there is that worry there....obviously working with fiona what we have done has worked....my body has changed a lot and ive got the results i want. I am worried that this isnt going to continue. But that one is something i need to work out on my own i think. I am trying to do pump 2-3 times a week so hopefully it will help...i just dont think it will have the impact fionas weight sessions had.

I think Im also worried of "failing" and so keep thinking...oh just maintain....then im not failing right? Pretty much going back into my normal thinking. So im not going to try and just "maintain" im still going to work at getting the numbers down. Hopefully sooner or later I will get closer to 80 kilos then 83 kilos.

Still busting ass at the gym and working hard!