This weight loss gig is just hard some days...

The last few weeks have been weird. Three weeks ago I cut my calories from 1628 per day down to 1485 calories. In those 3 weeks...the first week I gained 500 grams (admittedly week of my cycle)....the next week I lost 2.5 kilos and so far this week I have gained 600 grams. This week in some ways has been amazing...I ran 1.5kms for the first time ever....and I didnt practically die doing it...it was completely within my capabilities (altho when Fiona initially said your gonna run for 10 minutes I didnt believe I could), Im doing 10 pushups every day and while they dont feel like they are getting easier I suspect I may be going lower with them....so fitness wise its kinda been a big week, but scales wise its been a chitty week. My head, as it tends to do, is going into overdrive. Part of me suspects that this up/down business on the scales possibly is just how its going to be this close to the healthy weight range (i only have 8.5 kilos to go)...part of me thinks i should cut back my calories...but in all honesty i dont want to eat less then i currently am, and then a part of me thinks i should just go into maintenance mode...focus on the fitness....stay with my current calories....but just switch my brain off from being in "weight loss mode" and be in "maintenance mode" and with luck ill still lose, but this feels like im "giving up" and doing the normal "kazz" thing of not seeing something thru. But i think what i have decided....is i will keep at my same calories for the month and not look at the week to week gains/losses....weigh in with amy on tuesday...and then again a fortnight later....so on September 1 i weighed 85.5 kilos...today i weigh 85.6 kilos....and my aim is to get to 84.5 kilos by october 1. I really have no idea if this will work or not....but i just feel i need to remove the stress of the week to week weigh ins....I dont know if thats the answer....maybe even my body cant get much lower if at all....its so hard to tell with my body....cos with the excess skin its hard to see my body...i mean my excess skin is part of my body....and im so far from being happy with were my body is at this stage....but i do have the excess skin to take into account arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....seriously hate this whole weight loss gig sometimes.