Wednesday, August 10, 2011
I am average.
When I was bigger I stood out in the crowd. I attracted attention. Whether it was walking down a main road and some jerk yelling out "lose weight" or something similar...whether when I ate out I felt people were looking at me thinking....why is she eating such and such no wonder she is so fat...all I wanted was to be "normal" ... to be "average". I just wanted to be part of normal australia without a neon light above my head that said "fat". Slowly through out this journey people started to recognise me as a "inspiration" (personally i prefer the word role model!) at first I struggled with this...by people thinking this I took their thoughts and placed pressure on myself....worrying what people would think when I failed (which to date I havent!). Slowly overtime I came to embrace....and realise that my journey might help others who started in similar situations to me. And now any chance to make my journey public I take...and I embrace that, and I am proud to stand out of the crowd for my weight loss journey. That said tho, you put me in a crowd of people who don't know me....and I am just one person in a crowd of many. Thats a pretty nifty thought. If I walk down the street its not likely people are going to form negative (i hope) opinions about my body and from those opinions decide what type of person i am (ie if i am fat i am lazy). If I go on a date with someone, others are not going to think "fatty and skinny" or what is she doing with the fat one. I can go about my life....doing normal things that so many others do...with no judgement (well not about my weight anyway). Anyway, and this is what lead to my thought process tonite, today I was updating my profile on the pink sofa. In the past for the question that asks "body type" I have always put down cuddly or big, for the first time I looked at it and thought is it time now to change it to average? Am I there yet? Am I average? Well I think I can now say to myself i AM average. Yes I still have weight to lose. Yes thanks to excess skin I will never have a perfect body. But still .... I am average .... and unless someone knows my weight loss story (which I am so proud of) I am just a average, normal person going about my life trying to be fit and healthy. Yup yup AVERAGE its a good word :)