Not falling off the wagon

I had a question asked on the ww forum and as per usual lol decided to use it for a blog post. So the question was...." I have two questions, how do you keep going without totally falling of the wagon and also, is this your first attempt to lose the weight, or had you attempted before 2006?"

So....firstly yes ive tried nearly every diet going! LOL I did my first serious attempt at weight loss when i was 23 with easy slim. I started at 99 kilos....and got down to 83 kilos (can you freaking believe only 7 kilos from a healthy number and then i gave up?) 83 kilos is the lightest I have ever weighed as a adult. I of course put more weight on and did lots and lots of attempts at weight loss. I joined weight watchers more often then i changed my undies lol. I was relatively successful a few times....losing 30 kilos or so....then losing the plot and giving up. I have taken xenical tablets....and yep they worked quite well for me lost around 30 kilos again only to gain it back later....ive also done lite n easy and also jenny craig. So yep ive definitely tried various diets/weight loss styles.

As to how have i managed to keep going without totally falling of the wagon...i dont think there is one answer to that. Before i lost this weight as most know i weighed 171 kilos. I lived a very isolated life. I recall calling in sick to work numerous times cos i simply didnt have the energy to walk down the street to catch a bus. I was sick more often then i wasnt....kidney infections, viruses, flu's etc. Life was just really difficult. Then in May 2006 i got sick with bronchitis....i ended up off work for 7 weeks....the majority of that time was unpaid. When you are single and getting no income this isnt good! To be honest in scared the crap out of me. For the first time i SERIOUSLY realised if i didnt change something i was gonna end up confined to my home on a pension. And this scares the crap out of me....I am quite convinced if I dont get to 76 kilos or lighter i will end up back at 170+ kilos....so i guess fear is part of what keeps me going. So once i was over the bronchitis i joined weight watchers (on august 6). I honestly never thought id last more then 6 weeks. I remember proactively making a effort anytime i started to think that i wanted to quit i would just not allow myself to "think" about it. (Which in the beginning for some reason i found quite easy) I was amazed when i hit 6 weeks. And somehow managed to keep going. Its not been a case of always being easy....2007 and most of 2008 was really not helpful in the weight loss side of things....i definitely was following the motto of "fake it till you make it". I remember every week was a "new start". As most know in 2008 is when i started training with Fiona, and for me thats when everything changed. Personal training wasnt new to me...id had 3 trainers previously...when i started training with fiona i made a promise to myself i would only skip a session if i was dying (and in all honesty i probably have broke that promise a few times but mostly ive stuck to it) i also decided i wasnt gonna say "no" to doing whatever she wanted me to do. That rule i havent been so great at! LOL not so much that i say no more "i cant" but generally even when I say "i cant" i still try....unsuccessfully sometimes...and sometimes successfully. Especially in the beginning i nearly gave up numerous times. But fiona has a very subtle way of getting me to realise giving up is not what i wanted lol....i remember the first time i messaged her and said "i cant do this anymore" and part of her response was "are you doing this to punish yourself" .... i often when i wanna give up or feel like chucking it all in think of that phrase and generally realise i dont wanna punish myself which is all not getting to goal would do. Its not gonna affect anyone elses life...just mine. Of course now its just "seems" easier. Im only 14 kilos of goal....thats not that daunting. I will never say never but 98% of me believes ill get to under 76 kilos....of course there is still some self doubt in me tho.