I had a somewhat strange occurence today (and at bloomin midnight its playing on my mind so needed to write about it)
Yanno when i was 170+ kilos...i lived at the doctors office...i was there every week...whether for a cold...virus...kidney infection whatever. But everytime i went there i dreaded the appointment cos i always knew there was going to be a 90% chance i was going to walk in there and the docs bring up about my weight and me feel like a piece of crap. Its prolly one of the most confronting things. I remember one doc (a female) bought it up...i told her "i dont know where to start or how to do it" ... her response? "do something about it and then ill help you" .... hmmmm most illogical arrogant doctor i met.....nearly as arrogant was the doctor who told me doing it via ww and losing only a kilo a week was too slow and i should be doing the optifast drinks. (i wrote to the AMA about it him. boo!)
Anyway...onto today... so i had to go to the docs....now i generally always see the same doc...on regular basis he updates how much weight i have lost its all over my file lol and my weight has not been bought up by a doctor for about 2 years. Anyway my doc is helping me get on a care plan so i can get a dietician for 5 sessions at a discounted rate. So firstly i had to see a nurse for the paper work...i walk in there and straight away i get the feeling like im in the way or im pulling her away from her real work. She starts to do the paperwork...weighs me...checks my height (which she reckons im now only 172cm not 175cm!! dont think i believe that)...then she goes to measure my waist...now my waist isnt huge when you consider things...ideally it should be under 83cms and it was 94cms....well this woman turns around to me and goes " you have got big hips ... child bearing hips" and i swear i have never felt fatter then i did right then. I felt like it was 4 years earlier and i was feeling like a fat slob. I kinda laughed it off cos i didnt know what else to say....but i realised this woman was prolly thinking...another fatty who wants to lose weight but prolly wouldnt.
Then we continued with the paperwork....next question "what have you done to date to lose weight" now i was feeling about 1cm high at this stage...but i knew this was nothing to be ashamed of....so i tell her "well at my highest i have weighed 173.1 kilos...i started with ww...now i eat as much non processed as i can and train with my personal trainer 3 times a week and am at the gym 4-5 times per week" well blow me down her whole attitude towards me changed. She must have complimented me 4 times...told me how amazing she found it...how i proved that weight loss can be done. It was like i was talking to a different woman...and she was treating me like a different person...yet im the same person with the same 94cm waist...im no different physically...but to her i was. its been the biggest reminder that ive had for a long time of how my life has changed. The first part of that appointment was how people treated and thought of me 4 years ago...the second part was how people treat and see me today...yet i didnt change within that hour i was still the same person. Makes me feel really sad for all the large people out there who haven't been as lucky as me and made the change....that still feel like that when visiting the doctors :(