Well today involved a visit to the bakery...never good for me! Ive decided a few things...i think i have come to realise at this point i dont NEED to lose a kilo or whatever every week. For over 4 years i have stressed over the scales. I still wanna lose weight...i am still going to work towards that...but yanno if i dont lose every week so be it! For some reason its suddenly clicked to me the focus should be on just leading a healthy lifestyle...and with that i mean encompassing EVERYTHING! I need to ensure i get enuff sleep....next time i have this part of the roster....ill do my PT session on monday nite...ill go to my dietician session but thats it.....no going to the gym and staying there till the last class. My problem is i think i never can exercise enough...i wanna change things a bit....i wanna go to the gym 4 times a week (i often go more then that currently)i think 3.5 hours is prolly excessive. 1-2 hours is plenty. The days i dont go to the gym i wanna get out there and do more...whether its a walk...or getting on the wii. I just dont wanna kill myself to burn a extra 100 calories. But I still wanna make sure i do enough...despite my complaints...i really enjoy my PT Sessions and the fitness classes. So i wanna focus on doing what I enjoy. I need to understand i dont have to spend every spare minute exercising. So i wanna get that balance. It would be nice to get under 100 kilos by february 8. Thats when the foxy challenge at the gym starts and i am planning to do that. I still have a long way to go...prolly 32 or so kilos....i know ill gain this week...but im not gonna look at it as a gain...its jsut a new starting number....the other thing i wanna focus on not gaining over this holiday season. THis last 2 days has scared me that suddenly im gonna end up 115 or 120 kilos by the new year...NOT gonna happen people. Tonite im gonna have a great sleep....im gonna do PT tomorrow morning....and then pump and RPM tomorrow nite...but thats all...and friday i will only do my one hour PT session...its seriosuly hard getting the balance of enuff exercise without too much. I also wanna cut back on my processed foods... while i dont eat a lot of processed stuff some has snuck back into my eating...kelloggs chocolatey bars...premade pasta sauces etc so ive pulled out my book "inner health, outer beauty" its such a good book for just looking at a more holistic way for making ur body healthy and is not about weight loss at all...i wanna get cooking more as well...so this is where i need to balance .... i need to get to the gym enough but also allow myself enough time to cook and prepare foods. So i am going to give myself to not stress over the scales...i just wanna eat good and exercise...if i do that surely it will all fall into place. So its time to focus in a very balanced way on good health.

so lots of low fat dairy products, fruit, vegetables, grains and good protein. iM not gonna look at my saturated fat or my sugar levels etc (which has led me to obsess and avoid dairy and fruit like the plague) instead stick to the calories...eat good...and it will all work out!

Right off to read my book!Enjoy all