Thursday, November 25, 2010

Funnily enuff there was a post on the WW forum today that related to something thats been on my mind today. Drinks with fiona and sarah (from the gym) is not this sunday but the next. Before the drinks im catching up with a bunch of the ww girls for lunch at the markets...then ill have to scoot out to this hotel at nth adelaide. positively dreading it....i'll know fiona and sarah...and whilst im sure ive seen some of the others around the gym...ive never spoken to any. Part of me will prolly never get rid of the "fat girl syndrome" i seem to have. I am quite positive...wherever i am...whether its a fitness class... socialising ... wherever .... i think i dont belong there...and whether it happens or not .... im convinced everyone thinks what is the fat chick doing here....i know this is all me...and in my head .... im sure its not as bad as it was at 170 kilos but the issue is definitely still there. The thing that disappoints me more then anything is ... its not that i miss having a partner...but i do miss having that friend you can call up and go shopping with or catch up with for dinner etc etc...

Gymmed it today...did a hour of PT which was boxing. Fiona "suggested" i climb the 7 flights of stairs BEFORE our PT sessions LOL *hint hint* sooooooooooooooooo i think i will start doing it each day before my classes etc... that said...after PT i went and visited mum and then decided to walk home. It was a 45 minute walk...and while my achilles has been sore for the last few weeks...after that walk its a lot sorer...and i notice its really hard to flex my foot (this is always hard for me...but seems even harder today!) so the icepack is in the freezer...soon as its frozen i will put it on my foot...i swear....the damn consequences of being overweight :(

Back to work tomorrow...hurry up next monday night when i have a whole TWO days off work LOL


Martine (email: said...


I think we are now friends. I am solo, I love shopping, dinner and movies so please do not hesitate to call me. I understand re the drinks for the gym, I was worried about last week's 50th and in the end had a blast. Martine x

JustJo said...

I bet you ANYTHING that NO-ONE at the gym is thinking "what is the fat girl doing here". In fact, they are probably in awe of what you have accomplished by being so damn dedicated to it!!
At one of my old gyms (many many moons ago), there was a girl who started at 180kgs, and I overheard a bunch of the "macho weightlifting guys" talking about her and how inspired they were of her and her changing body. Yet none of them would ever say so, as it wouldn't be the "right" thing to do.
I bet there are some of those people thinking just that about you Princess :)
Have a great weekend!!

Euphie said...

I feel exactly the same way. At 118kg I'm convinced that everyone is horrified by "the fat girl" and wishes she would just go home. But I felt this way when I was 78kg!

I think that until I address the issue of never feeling good enough I'll always feel this way regardless of my weight.

Whatever your thing is, not feeling good enough, not being comfortable in groups you don't know too well, feeling like people are judging you, whatever, you'll probably have the same feelings regardless of weight.

Maybe CBT is the answer - I think it might be. Change the way you approach the thoughts.

Like me you probably lack the time and $ to spend an hour on the psychologists couch every week, but maybe something like could help.