Rethinking...

My god...post number 3 for the day! After my earlier post about increasing calories...i was like...ok kewl...2100 calories per day. I wasnt too concerned because i knew it fitted into what most of the calculators online say. Anyway food wise was good at work...then went to mums for dinner...i asked mum to roast a tomato...she was cooking turkey and i also took barley salad with me. Then when i got to mums I discoverred she had a bowl of mini easter eggs...and my brain "they are only 32 calories and i have 2100 calories!"..8 mini eggs later...and my brain is really thinking...how slack did i just get? I ate a pile of friggin empty calories for a few moments of nice tasting...while chocolate may have some good antioxidents...there is nothing nutritional in them...nothing to help build my muscles...nothing to help my body perform better. Anyway after dinner mum offered icecream which i declined. Came home...looking for Jillians book (obviously packed away) so i pulled out michelle bridges book and went to calorie calculations. Now lets honestly think about this...first week of the year i weight 134.4 kilos....on that basis i had worked out i could eat 1800 calories..that 12 kilo difference whilst not huge has made a huge difference to how many calories i can bank on earning as part of exercise per day. Back then in 70 minutes i could easily burn 700 calories or more. Now as my weight has dropped i am looking at i can guarantee over the week 450 calories per day. Whilst i have still lost relatively consistantly...no wonder the numbers had dwindled! duh! So i sat down with calculator in hand....and uh-oh to lose a kilo per week she says 1400 calories per day (quite different to 2100 calories) I want to lose a kilo per week...of course i am happy with any loss...but if i was to be happy with what i wanna aim for it would be 1400 calories. So then it was to work out my cycling off calories ensuring monday, thursday and saturday are my high calorie days...i did that pretty successfully i think:

tuesday 1400
wednesday 1300
thursday 1600
friday 1200
saturday 1800
sunday 1300
monday 1600

The last 2 days have been pretty shitty food wise and it does worry me a lil cos i know when i moved a couple of years ago it took me months and months to get back into things. While i havent vocalised it (well cept to fiona) this has been one of my concerns. That i will have trouble getting into the focus i previously had. I know if i was to mention this to fiona (which i did before i move) she would tell me to just focus on today and stop being so hard on myself. Easier said then done. I do truly believe her influence and the impact the gym has affects this a lot for me. I have 2 days left before i go back to the gym. I should be home by about 5.15pm tomorrow nite...so when i get home first thing i will do is chuck on my workout gear and head out for a walk. Nothing ground breaking cos im not sure how long it will be light...but will aim for a 30 minute walk the next two days, then back to the gym thursday. As its now heading towards winter and evening walks arent really doable i will aim to go to the gym most if not all week nites. I need to start doing what i say...i said to ryan just today i want the next 12 months to completely focus on my weight loss...not clothes or going out or anything else...then a few hours later im eating chocolate...INSANE (that said i still plan to socialise etc but healthy living is the number one focus)

So tomorrow being tuesday my number one aim is to stick to 1400 calories and 30 minute walk. 400 calories per meal plus one snack of 200 calories...completely doable. I will report back in tomorrow nite to let you all know if it was a success or not!