Struggling

Yup...there it is i am struggling. The last month has been stressful - family stresses, stressing over the gym, trouble sleeping at nite...and these other things i think have taken away the focus from where my focus should be.

I got TOM this morning and was cramping badly and works a/c was playing up and was freezing which prolly made the cramping worse (i was wearing two tops and a jacket and still freezing) so i knicked off to the doctor, firstly he wants me back on metformin - cos yes i dont take enuff tablets now as it is ! He also talked to me about my weight loss...he thinks i am doing the right things but if it stalls or i stop he said i need to think about surgery. He also put me back onto metformin i told him last time i took it i retained fluid...and the doctor stressed to me in no uncertain terms that the medicationis necessary...and that there is no question that i am insulin resistant.

Anyway yes i have been struggling and more importantly then that my motivation has just disappeared. Today after the docs i came home and slept for 3 or 4 hours...woke up...and felt the most alert ive felt for a while...and then have spent most of the evening thinking. I think whats happened is other stuff has over taken my brain...i normally do a lot of self talk...i tell myself this is my priority, that getting fit and healthy is my hobby, that i love the gym etc etc but with everything that has been going on lately i havent been doing that. What with family stress, the drama over the gym, and just being so damn tired...the gym has dropped in the priority list. I have cancelled the gym for the rest of this week, i am going to rest the rest of this week, lots of early nites...My holidays start 3pm on friday, and my aim is to be back at the gym on saturday morning. I really just want to do some self talk over the next few days. Then whilst on holidays next week i am going to focus on getting my butt to the gym...working hard...and enjoying it again.