Just a tad of news

Well I do have some news,,,the first bit is ... I reached 40 kilos. 40.1 kilos to be exact. Actually I weighed yesterday morning...saw i had hit 40.1 kilos but really wanted to keep it to myself. When I went to PT last nite i told fiona n she was like have you blabbed it across facebook yet? i was like no and i normally do...she decided thats cos of the whole "expectations" thing i think its also about being so scared of failing and the fact im actually not...is confusing the crap out of me. Anyway decided that if i continue to keep it to myself for one thing i am not acknowledging that i did it and also i am allowing the whole head game to control me. so there we have it...yep did it...now onto getting under 130 kilos and working towards 45 kilos.

Bit annoyed with myself at the moment. When at PT last nite i of course had to do that damn TRX anyway over the weekend i had thought about it and thought i wont look up at where its bolted to the wall and this worked fine...BUT THEN she said okay this time we will do it lower...this freaked me out...im scared shitless of this contraption...i couldnt even see how i could get into the start position...once she advised a trick to do this...i did it...but of course i was now looking at where it was bolted...i did it but i struggled...and ended up saying "i cant do this" and fiona was like yes you can you just did...and i said i am not strong enough for it...she was like you can...its just fear. She was like i am going to get out all the specifics on this so u can see it in black and white LOL...but i was a bit annoyed that i said "i can't" to her when i first started training with her i swore i wouldnt say no, i cant or miss sessions...The rest of the session went well.

K-Rudd stimulated me ! (is it bad if i say it felt good too? lol) but anyways..we discussed the 3rd PT session per week...(which i bought today YAY !) anyways we decided to do the 3rd session as boxing since i like it...she said we can do different cardio but she wants to make sure its something I enjoy...so boxing works for me.

This weekend i am going shopping for some new gym clothes. I am desperate for some leggings...nothing flash just want some plain black ones...and a few new tshirts.

Anyways not much else to say...all else is good. Still dealing with the mental demons but slowly getting there