JIllians way or the highway....

So last nite i spent some time on Jillians site then pulled out her book. Firstly as i think i wrote yesterday i am going to go to calories...i am going to entrench myself in the "jillian way" and my focus is going to change somewhat. I am to be on 1770 calories per day, i am to make up my food intake with 30% protein, 30% fat, 40% carbs. I sat down with her book last nite and read and reread the chapter on reading nurritional labels till i actually understood it all ! Of course our labels are slightly different...but this is a important part of it all...i am really working on getting my focus on fueling my body more so then...whats to eat? Jillian has a new book coming out (april 9 i think) called mastering your metabolism, i will be getting it and reading it to death, there is plans for PCOS and its something i wanna study...this is something that ive thought about over the last few weeks...jillian did a radio show where she talked about how she is continually reading, whether its websites, health magazines, or books. I wanna take a leaf out of her book in this area especially on about fuelling my body right. So if ever anyone sees good links about nutrition...about the foods for building muscles, the foods we shouldnt eat chemicals, way foods are produced...i would love anything you see and find. Tomorrow morning i will register my weight on jillians site...i will then be getting my ass to the gym. Ahhhh the gym....ever since my post the other day i have been thinking a lot about the gym...and firstly Katali thank you for your post ! Even before you had commented i knew this was something I am going to need to talk to fiona about...not so much cos i told a fib...but cos she needs to know where my thinking is at...she is often telling me i am so more confident in the gym...but in a lot of ways im not. Sure i have that bravado sauntering around the gym...eyeing of her royal hawtness lol but in actuality im still chit scared of the gym. I have seen many posts were someone on the ww forum has posted and said im worried about going to the gym...im worried what people will think....and ive responded with hell i was at the gym at 150 kilos no one is concerned with what u are doing just go (shame i am not so good at taking my own advice) yes ive been going to the gym...and my 2 PT sessions per week i LOVE i truly truly love them....so they get two bonus ticks. I am still petrified of the treadmill...i get on it and i have visions of me rolling my ankle and injuring myself, i dont use the ecliptical trainer (or how ever you spell it) ive used the rowing machine once in the last 6 months and i occassionally use the bike...but even when i go on the bike i am like well im just warming up i dont need to go fast. Before when teri was my trainer and she use to get on my ass (even tho i hated it) i use to cycle 12 kms in 30 minutes. I enjoy structured classes but i still have that whole "im too fat i dont belong here" syndrome...today i went to go to her royal hawtness's body pump class...ive never done body pump before i spent 40 minutes trying to decide whether to go or not...i then got dressed walked down the street and waited at the bus stop...well guess who didnt get on the bus? yep u guessed it...ME i completely chickened out and went home. I am not utilising the gym to the best of my ability...and half the time people say to me im so impressed with all your gym workouts in honesty half the time im not. Now this isnt a whine post lol dont get me wrong...but i need to get over this...i need to master what is doable at the moment and then constantly challenge myself. I want nothing more then to impress fiona...when she see's i've improved and she tells me....well i love that feeling...i want to shock her....i want her to sit back and go holy hell whats happened to you? But more importantly i wanna walk in that gym and OWN it...i wanna become the fitness class princess...so ive set down a action plan. Tomorrow morning i AM going to her royal hawtness's body pump class...straight after i am going on that bike and at level 5 i am going to do the fatburner program for 30 minutes. No more of this spending 25-30 minutes at the gym bullcrap...no doing a 30 minute PT session and then going home...one hour MINIMUM...i still think like a gal of 170 kilos and who am i kidding? I mean honestly i proved it tuesday nite...i CAN do a hour....so everytime im in there...when i do a class or a PT session its gonna be followed by 30 minutes on that bike...me and the bike are gonna start some heavy duty bonding ! I never exercise on sundays...oh i cant get to the gym so i cant exercise...a HOUR long dvd every sunday without fail...seriously im over the excuses i give myself..while i joked and laughed about the slight amount of change i can see in my arm where obviously there is some muscle there...its just proven to me that i can shape my body....that its not a myth that happens to everyone but kazz. I have a lot of work still to do on me...and my focus needs to be on and stay on this journey...the relationship, the social life everything else will follow. Thats not to say im not gonna be having my social life...i am....but its all gotta take second place to my weight loss..so without a doubt friday nites are NOT drinking nites...they cant be....cos every single saturday morning i have off...i am going to be at the gym and i am not doing it with a hangover. This isnt just about weight loss...its about my confidence...i know on here and online and even my friends i am very close to i have a lot of bravado...yes i have the smart alec mouth...but it hides my lack of confidence...i wanna be able to go somewhere or meet someone and be proud of myself...to walk in and say,...check me out ! I will weigh in tomorrow as i said...then lookout babee...also over the next few days as my sister is down i will get her to take a couple of photos and i will update them on the blog so keep a eye out for them...and wish me luck at body pump tomorrow...have a good weekend all...