Sunday, November 23, 2008

So Very Happy :)

Well the weekend is slowly drawing to a close and have to admit its been a lovely weekend ! Lets see...Friday night I went to speed dating...in all honesty I didnt wanna go and if I hadnt made plans with felicity or bought the ticket already I wouldnt have gone. But I went and it was a interesting night (definitely the key to this nite is alcohol lol) I didnt drink heaps...but enuff to keep me "loosened up" so between 7pm and about 11.30pm I drank 3 glasses of champagne...I didnt think that was too bad. There were a few nice girls but none that I thought...man i want her...anyways afterwards I ran into a couple of friends...so i went with them to the wheaty (local lesbian hangout pub), felicity was also there...but whilst we are friends we also have our own friends...so we went our own ways...it was a nice time...just sitting around chatting...then one of the girls bought out this platter of food -eek ! Was full of chicken, cheeses, cold meats etc...but i didnt have one thing of it ! OMG i was so proud ! Even with alcohol in me I kept my focus. I got home about 12.15am. Saturday morning i woke with a slight hangover LOL now lately when ive had a hangover ive been saying...right i NEED fatty food...but not this time...i went and had one of my slim shakes instead (its full of LOTS of different vitamins and minerals) and so while i didnt gym it..by lunch time i was feeling all good and ready to get on with the day - which included seeing my sister and her family. We had a nice time...i watched a lil rug rats cartoon and had some education that the cat in the hat in the cat and the hat movie is not a real cat and not all cats like milk yanno ! LOL shes too cute for words. Then for dinner my brother in law ducked out to get us fasta pasta...now last time my sister was down...we had fasta pasta too and i had monte carlo (cream based pasta dish) but i thought nope....and so i ordered lasagne...it was a large serving...but very lil cheese on it (not sure if there was even any apart from my parmessan cheese) so i felt very good....and quite accomplished cos I had got thru a few social things without going off track. Today has been very relaxing...sleeping in (prolly woulda slept in longer if my new neighbours hadnt made so much noise) This afternoon I am just doing washing and watching sex and the city episodes...very nice and relaxing. Tomorrow morning i have another PT session at 8am.

Oh and heres something too...last nite im online chatting to a friend, one of the friends i go out with...anyway she had just ended up involvement with another girl and we were chatting about relationships and why we are single...and suddenly she turns around and said she had considered asking ME out when we first met LOL but she is only 29 so was concerned about the age difference...wow i was considered ... i was amazed i truly sit there and think WHY would someone wanna be with me....dont get me wrong and its not me wanting people to sit here and go oh kazz you have so much to offere blah blah but my head just doesnt get that...altho i think that thinking is slowly breaking down...i do realise i am a good person and have plenty of reasons why someone would want to be with me...logically i know that...but i guess insecurities, slef doubt and fear of rejection prolly makes me put up walls sometimes and that if i reject myself then its easier then if someone else does it if that makes sense (altho of course i realise we all get rejected and i need to put myself out there lol) okies enuff blabbing off to put some music on for a bit and have a dance around the house ;) before i sit down and watch some more sex n the city

2 comments:

Tania said...

Oh rejection is a funny thing isn't it? I think you've got it in one when you say we reject ourselves so easily so why wouldn't others? But likewise if we start to accept ourselves easily so do others - after all isn't that exactly what's been happening to you?

OMG - Monte Carlo should be banned - that's exactly why I don't go to Fasta Pasta very often, I can't resist it ... lol

Are you enjoying SATC? I loved watching it from start to finish recently!

Tina-cious.com said...

Hey, I know this post is old and all but -- I need to pick your brain.

I'm trying to put together a gay speed dating night and the last time I did one we had a problem in the end of not everyone getting to "date" everyone else (the 1/2 people stay seated and the others walk around thing only works for so long).

It's not like hetero speed dating, where the women stay put and the men move from date to date.

What did they do at your speed dating to solve that problem?

Thanks!