Monday, November 24, 2008

A calming feeling...

I have posted several times here...and made startling decisions about "chat" (yes that evil again lol) I have been going in again...for a while...has been no big drama...i havent felt its caused me any real issues...hasnt distracted me from my goals...and because my social life has taken off its really not been that big of a issue. Earlier this year someone I had known for many years started to chat to me...all was fine till i saw her psychotic temper...i ended things then. Ever since then every couple of months she makes a reappearance...puts on a display of her nasty temper which i ignore then she disappears for a few months. Well she came back again over the weekend...following a coversation with someone who told them I had mentioned their name UGH i mean people seriously think before you speak !!! Anyway after the last tirade i thought enoughs enough. I dont need this...its not a issue of i need to break a habit or my weight loss journey will stuff up...its just the final thing that makes me say chat is no longer fun. I do know the person who opened their mouth does read this I may make it private...will see. But to be honest this isnt all said with anger or aggression...i thought about it last nite...and was like wow i feel so calm...its like the calm after the storm ... not before it lol

Today I jumped on the scales and died of shock. I have this weight (ok its 145 kilos) and i always tell jaimee at work its like i have some psychological block...soon as i get near it ... i do some damage...well yesterday afternoon for some crazy reason i got on my scales (never normally do it that time of day) think i only did it cos i was running a bath and so bored while it was filling up LOL...anyway jumped on them and it said i jumped off and jumped back on...still 144.7 was like OMFG...gawd hope it lasts till the morning lol...then this morning i got on them 144.4 ! thats 900 grams I was down from the previous so stoked and i would really like to get under 144 by the weekend so i am clear of that dreaded 145 weight but we will wait and see if that happens.

I am wearing one of my new tops today...i bought it about a month ago...fitted across my bust/shoulders but too tight around the hips...tried it on saturday and while still firm fitting around my stomach already starting to fall off my shoulders so thought id bettr start wearing it.

So far no huge plans for this weekend. The picnic is on will probably go to that .. hopefully its nice weather without being too hot (last year was like 38 on the day of the picnic and way too hot) The rest of the weekend may be relatively quiet if no plans arise mite just catch a movie saturday arvo. The following two weekends there is a girls dance each nite so will prolly go to both.

Went to the gym for a PT session this morning. As i left she said ill see u during the week...i musta been slow in my response...cos she turned around and said "don't make me nag you" lol

Oh and I have a new fave food thing...grainy bread toasted with sliced tomato and some low fat feta cheese sprinkled on it. Got it for lunch today...cant wait yum yum!

1 comment:

Tania said...

Perhaps the calming feeling is because the chat was a crutch that you needed for a while but don't need it anymore?

Congrats on the result on the scales this morning - how exciting, can't wait to hear you telling us you're under 144!