Saturday, October 11, 2008

Time to move on !

Well...so today was measuring day ! And TA DA in the last 22 days ive lost ANOTHER 20 centimetres thats nearly a centimetre per day ! go me !! i was stunned to say the least. I was hoping for a total of 5 centimetres...and as my dietician is measuring me shes like....are your clothes starting to fall of you? and me being me was sitting there blabbing away about my jeans now sit on my hips and not my waist when she tells me i have lost 20 centimres ! I was gobsmacked to say the least ! But so so so happy ! I also set me a "number on the scales" goal...as most know i dont focus on the scales anymore...but i have not got below 145 kilos for months ! (prolly 6 months) and one of my goals has been....to be under 145 kilos by the dance next saturday nite...im not far of it...and am kinda expecting it tomorrow or monday morning ! I also start a new program with my trainer tuesday night. Tha also means in 8 weeks i have lost a total of 46 centimetres !

Earlier this week at work jaimee turns around to me and says...kazz your not allowed to flirt with dan (he is our acting team leader for a few weeks) so i turn around and go i dont flirt...and shes like omg yes you do...you flirt with all the guys except you do it in this real innocent way cos your not actually interested. So i turn around to Ryan and say are you hearing this? Jaimee says I flirt (mind you i didnt think i KNOW how to flirt) and Ryans like....yeh you do. This lil bit of trivia has had me gob smacked all week...cos ive always thought i dont know how to flirt...but maybe i do...lol. Ive also discoverred a few things this week. Yanno I am a all or nothing type of person. I am either completely single or completely immersing myself with finding someone (online or not) and I had been thinking theres 2 paths in the road for me to choose...i can choose to immerse myself in a online life...which is easy to do...i dont lack in "girls" attentions online can eat wat i want...be fat...not look after myself...wouldnt matter...or i could try to get that real life get out there and do stuff and work on getting a girlfriend i thought these were my ONLY two options. Then last nite im in the pink sofa chat room with a bunch of girls talking about being single etc...and a friend said...I LOVED BEING SINGLE I HAD SO MUCH FUN...that one phrase has been in my mind since...and earlier today...i think something clicked. Yes i dont want a online life...but also i dont have to have a girlfriend tomorrow...it wont make me unsuccessful...but what i need to start doing is stop acting like a old married woman. Nothing against married women but hellooooooooooooooo im not married ! I am single...and I may be 40 but theres nothing saying I am not entitled to live the single life and enjoy it. I need to realise hell yeh i can flirt and from reports i am pretty good at it...i need to embrace more people and friendships...i need to start making plans for catchups with people i meet on the pink sofa...and catching up with some ole friends i have let fall by the way side. I need to stop telling anyone who listens "im old" i need to rip these walls down and yeh maybe ill get rejected ... maybe ill get rejected a lot but guess what i am gonna have fun while i get rejected ! I am going to go to this dance this weekend...i was asked by a few girls to meet before hand for dinner and i said YES and then i am gonna go...and im gonna smile...and im not gonna sit at the table and watch everyone im gonna dance my lil (well its getting littler!) ass off...have a couple of drinks...smile at girls...and maybe even talk to one or two ! Its done with...this whole f**king mourning perios or whatever that has been going on since i split with ang is dont with...im over it...im ready...to move on....and get my life back and stop watching it pathetically pass by. Im also going to email feast tomorrow and ask them when i can go in and do some office work there (gonna do a half day on one of my days off)...

Okies thats enuff for one nite...

7 comments:

Tania said...

Wow - who is this girl? :-) Good on you, I so love your attitude but seeing as you're so good with the flirting perhaps it's best if you try it on a few girls now ... lol

Hippygal said...

Wow Kazz you are sounding like you are really buzzing good for you, and what an awesome CM loss :-)

Shrinking Tardie said...

Go you!!!

There is nothing sexier that a woman can wear than confidence. I believe, ma dear, you've just found a very sexy outfit.

I am so stoked for you Kazz. Truly. This is what living should be about - not just watching, but taking part REGARDLESS of what numbers on clothes or mindless scales tell us.

Love ya

Nat

Jody said...

Hmmmm (as I sit here scratching my chinny chin chin) You really do entertain me Kazz. LOL You are sooooo funny!!!

I have been telling you for years how funny and flirtatious you are. You really blew me over years ago. You remember?? I'd come in and watch you in a chat room. Too scared to talk to you, because you were like WOW!!!!

You are a wonderful lady and I know with this new gained confidence nothing is out of your reach. Go for it grrl!! Wow, them...make 'em laugh and just be like how you are at work and in chat. Cept NOW you won't be hiding behind a monitor...you can do this all in person!

Just know I love you as always, (even tho 2 yrs in a row you forgot my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Love ya Chicka!

kazz said...

jody! if u see this email me ! we need to talk haha ;) !

Jody said...

What do we need to talk about?? How for two years in a row you forgot your favorite Yank's birthday???

kazz said...

yes yes thank you for outing me for forgetting ur birthday lol...im slack what can i say? now check ur emails ! lol