well...ive had a not so good weekend yet at the same time a good weekend. My sister and her family were down which has been lovely but with them being down it also involves visits with other family members which i personally find stressful...and the whole weekend i end up dreading the next occassion and in my mind coming up with ways to handle the situation. So in regards to this ive decided to back away in a very drama free way...have gone into pink sofa a few times on the weekend which has kinda highlighted that I am single .... and the last few days ive been down in the dumps about that...now dont get me wrong i would freaking love a partner or a interest ,,, but to be perfectly honest its prolly now what I actually NEED right now. This journey to getting healthy, sculpting my body, reclaiming my life back just has to be a priority now and whilst if i was to meet someone i wouldnt say no...i simply cant make it a focus...and lets be honest....with my body as it is right in this moment I dont think me meeting someone is that likely. And thats fine...that not me pitying myself...or wanting to hear people say u will meet someone thats me being realistic...and not hiding behind some fantasy...and i think right now realistically is what I need. But what I am also realising I need is to start enjoying what I do have going on in my life right now...I mean for the last 6 months unless its involved KFC there hasnt been too much I have enjoyed. One of the things I havent been doing much is playing backgammon, I play it online and love it...a tournament takes about a hour to play so its a great way to distract me from the fridge but also as i have pcos one of the things they recommend cos of the tendancy for depression is to participate in logic games...and thats certainly what gammon is (well with a dash of luck) so back to playing that. This is also the first week of a trillion of putting the gym first....this week...tuesday, wednesday,saturday, sunday and thursday before work i will be at the gym, i also see the slimcoach this week and then from now on that will be a weekly appointment and also a Pt session. Friday I wont make it as I have plans to catch up with some ole friends tracy & laura for morning tea...but knowing fellinis has a low fat menu I suggested we meet there ! Thats another thing to be grateful off...getting back in touch with my ole friends and rekindling the friendships. I had so many friends when I was young yet in my hermit ways I have let them slip thru my fingertips.

I also got my hair done ! And I must say it looks really good...lovely golden colour and a different style...they blow dried it straight and if i ever get a date i will have to get that done again...cos looks really good...and I think it actually makes my face look really slim...its a good reminder of how well I have done (something that I seem to constantly lose focus on) And yes tania I will get a photo up shortly.

Tomorrow I am working...11am-7pm so not a bad shift...then monday I am off again. Monday I plan to work on the application for the leader of tomorrow program so will have to cross my fingers in regard to that.

Tuesday I think I will pick up series 3 of L word...trying to get it online is impossible...so will pick that up...and then my next couple of days off mite have to have a L Word marathon LOL

Okies off I go...soon enough will be heading out to see my niece and nephews one last time before they head off home...enjoy the rest of ur easter weekend all =]