Saturday, March 01, 2008

Well...its been a huge few days....lets see....wednesday morning I woke feeling flu-ish and my joints were aching so didnt go to work that day,,,by 7pm that nite my right wrist was swollen...I could barely move it and had a lump on back to the docs I go....who sent me off to xrays to make sure nothing was broken (nothing was) to tell me that its a inflamation of some kind - dont u love when doctors are vague? Ive taken a few nurofen since then and panadeine forte and its a lot better now...still sore at times...but i can do most things now (gawd I wont even try and describe the circus of me trying to put on my bra on thursday LOL)

Well yanno I have come to some conclusions..1. i CANNOT give up...i just refuse to go back to 170 kilos. I posted on the ww forum today...saying how I wanna lose the weight yet I dont seem able to string good weeks together etc etc and one thing one of the grrls said was you just gotta let go of stuff...and for me thats prolly pretty accurate...chit did happen in the past and I am going to get counselling for it...but at the same time I am punishing myself...they see no wrong in anything they have done and their life goes on...but for me I am struggling so I need to lose the focus. Also I was reading my journal today and I realised when I was doing good with my weight I was always busy...whether it was cooking...or hairdressers appointments...or to the gym...or out with tania or felicity I was busy....I was also not in the american chat rooms much (which Ive been in a lot for the last 3 or 4 months) so I NEED to cut back on that...maybe Ill renew pink sofa so if I do gotta go online its to a place that can help me with my real life. My appointment was set for monday with curves and I was thinking of cancelling but now have decided I need this, altho I wont start going for a week or so due to my wrist. But back on track in the morning and for the first time in a week will hop on those scales tomorrow. I am also gonna give thought to doing core...more I watch biggest loser more I see I should steer away from processed foods...but lets do this one step at a time. Tomorrow I am going to get stuck into doing some unpacking...I was going to lunch with tania....but I really feel like I need a day of some hard work...and I need to do some work on getting my head straight...okies...gonna go off to watch some seinfeld before bed....have a good weekend all

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