Saturday, September 02, 2006

Well the winds are a changingggggggggg lol

Funny how things change...people may or may not know that i chat...being a lesbian i chat in a gurls chat room...and in actually fact run the girls chat room server (called Femme Fantaziez lol) anyway the last few weeks ive noticed ive been pulling away..either in there bored today i actually got to the point where i thought i should pull the server down then decided not too for the sake of the gurls. Its easy when you arent happy with yourself to lock yourself in the chat world...dont get me wrong im sure id never give it up entirely ive made some really good friends there...but im getting to a point now where i dont want or feel the need of it. I do graphics for chat and i dont actually need to be in the room to do it i can do it via my internet explorer. The good thing about them is i find doing graphics is so relaxing and consuming that i forget to eat especilly in the afternoon at snacktime which is a good thing. But anyway im really getting to the point of wanting to do other things. But i dont feel confident enuff to just go out and meet more people etc, but im really wanting to get myself more on focussing on me and self improvement...but i guess cutting back on chat its highlighting to me that a lot my friendships are based online. So in a very strange mood...not exactly negative...but kinda like somethings wrong...but its not like i can go this is whats wrong...maybe its just one of the changes and things i am learning in this journey.

Okies time to go

kazz =]

1 comment:

Tania said...

One of the many stages of weight loss - funny how it's about so much more than just food or exercise! I feel like i'm on a constant journey to improve my self esteem and you'll probably remember that when we first met a few years ago I was addicted to chatrooms when I lived alone and in a weird sort of way it's like coming home to company. I understand completely how you feel.