Back!!!

Well, well, look whose back! :) Let me explain for all of those thinking...didnt you have a new site? Yep I do. And I love the site...it looks brilliant, and i am SO appreciative of the Fiona and her partner for designing it for me and all the time they spent on it. But...I have wanted to come back here for a long time. The new site had some security issues, and we had to tighten that up which meant part of the increased security was that it timed out...and so more often then not I would type a blog...save it..and half was gone... :( previously it was still okay cos I could type it up in notepad....but I have a new laptop now with windows 8 which doesnt have notepad on it. I think also its too complicated for me lol..i just dont really understand the configuration of it and while I was shown about it...im really not a good technical person and I struggled with it and just ended up avoiding writing in the journal. So i am hoping no one is annoyed with me over this...but i am glad to be back here...writing in my journal has always been a important part of my journey and I NEED this!

So a brief recap for those who never made it over to the new site....Currently as of this morning i was 91.5 kilos. I have been fluctuating for the last 12 months or so between 87 kilos and 92 kilos. I really want to get out of this rut. Personally the last 12 months has certainly had some hard moments,,,,its nearly a year ago that my mum got sick and then she unexpectedly passed away in September. That was a huge struggle for me, and I honestly still feel I am in a sense of denial. And I guess thats my way of coping. I still haven't been to the cementry. I was going to go on Mums birthday on June 7 but I had some nightmares the night before and just couldn't do it. So its still something on the agenda I need to do at some point when I feel for me the time is right. Then sadly in April my friend Jody (who many may have seen her post on my facebook and my journal regularly) passed away from Ovarian Cancer, its certainly been a sad year.

So I feel I am now ready to get back on track properly. I have tried lots of things over the last 12 months but what I havent tried is WHAT I PREVIOUSLY DID. So after much dillydallying around I am back to calorie cycling and eating 1600 calories. I will give that a few weeks and if the scales are not consistantly moving I will lower to 1500 calories. I really am not the exercise bunny these days i was 2 years ago :( and the more I read about HOW important exercise is when you have PCOS I know I need to attack that again. What I read is its recommended 4 sessions at least per week 60-90 mins at least. I want to aim for 90 minutes 5 days a week. And in relation to exercise I no longer go to Fernwood! I quit there about 7 weeks ago....and joined the local goodlife. I also don't train with Fiona or Sarah. And actually was not planning to have a personal trainer anymore. But when I joined Goodlife they gave me 4 free PT sessions and must admit the trainer has worked out great. I think a fresh look was a good thing (And still think the world of Fiona and she was DEFINITELY the perfect trainer for me 5 years ago,,,but I do need a trainer with access to a gym) Anyway her name is Candice...she is this cute lil thing *rolls eyes* lol but man she is MEAN! Our sessions are full on...non stop...its like straight from one exercise to another...After the first intro session I have done two sessions with her first one was a all over body weight session....the second was a mix of cardio and weights...so I also like the variability. I feel her sessions are really what I need and I always walk out feeling pumped so those I will keep up. When doing well before my "big" exercise days were monday, thursday and saturday....as I work as many saturdays as I have off...I am going to change that too monday, thursday, and sunday. So at this stage I want my weeks to look like this (this may change as we are going to work out a plan on wednesday night but I am envisaging it like this)

monday: RPM + Bodypump
tuesday: Bodypump/RPM + Bodybalance
wednesday: 30 mins cardio equipment + 30 mins PT session
thursday: shbam + body pump
friday: rest day
saturday: rest day
sunday: Body pump + Body balance

I am thinking this will work...I have always done much better with classes...I will also jump on cardio equipment here and there as I get time...and Candice may say she wants me to do a program once or twice a week....but I have already told her I want to focus on classes and cardio equipment.

Foodwise anyone who followed my journal years ago know I focused heavily on unprocessed foods and organic where possible. A lot of processed foods have snuck in, a LOT of chocolate...so im going to focus on cutting out the processed foods. As i said i will be eating 1600 calories but the cycling of calories will look like this:

monday : 1400
tuesday : 1500 (weigh in day)
wednesday : 1400
thursday : 1800
friday : 1400
saturday : 2000
sunday : 1700

I will weigh in tomorrow morning...altho I am not expecting a huge drop....but by tuesday the following week (June 25th) my aim will be to be under 90 kilos. I always do better with short term goals. I also have noticed I am much more hungry between 3pm to about 9pm. I am hoping by increasing the exercise this will help as I will be too busy to eat! But definitely on days I am not exercising I am going to try and save a few more calories for the evenings. I have done it today (as i am home with a migraine) and after dinner tonight I am planning to have some stewed apples, sultanas and greek yoghurt...so yummy food that feels "treatish" but is good for me (yes I realise sultanas arent GREAT but they arent horrid in my opinion either)

I think thats enough to post today! LOL I will ensure the comments are open....so feel free to let me know you are still reading! LOL I will be back much more regularly!!

Also I will add people to my fitness pal who aren't going to tell me to just lift heavy and eat more! ;) If you wanna add me my username is 76kilos