Thursday, September 08, 2011


Changes are life has not changed over the last 10 years...same job...boring, monotonous life, then I added the gym and the weight loss into my really hadnt changed but I was more active and suddenly had things to do in my evening. Whenever I hear that saying "who knows where things will be in a years time" I would always think...I know for me...same job....same boring life....but things are changing. This isnt necessarily a bad thing but I guess for me its new and its challenging. I return to work on the 19th of this month....for the previous 18 months to 2 years I have said after my long service leave I wanna apply for a new position with the company. I really want to get a Team Assistant role (kinda like a PA) and I want it to be in the city. Now as I am getting ready to return to work I know I am going to have to start to follow thru with this...and it scares the crap out of me!!! I guess a lot of it is not having a great self belief in my abilities, don't get me wrong I know I am intelligent and if I think about it honestly I know I am capable....the thought of going thru job interviews is scary, the thought of leaving my comfort zone where I know everyone and the thought of having to meet new people (Im really quite shy initially and take a while to get to know people especially when everyone else knows everyone else and I am walking into their environment). I havent done a job interview for over 10 years....I dont expect to get the first job I apply for...It may take a lot of interviews before I get the hang of it....but even if I am then successful in getting one, the whole leaving my comfort zone and trying something new is incredibly scary. When I return to work Ryan (who is my best buddy there) goes on leave for 5 weeks....and is only back in the country for 2 days and then work is sending him to India for 2 months....whilst I have been away teams have changed and we have some new team members...we have had a few leave....there are some new components to our job....LOTS of changes! There are some other changes going on in my life which will occur in the near future which I cannot discuss theres just a LOT of changes going on in my life....of course not all the changes are bad. And in all honesty none of the changes are bad...thats the wrong word....this is what life is meant to be doesnt stand still....its just when you hibernate for such a long time and you dont really interact with people if you can avoid it....when you do suddenly cannot guarantee things will always stay the way they were....but you need to be open to it....cos I am figuring changes happen for a reason....and with each change i can deal with it positively or scary as they are I am going to try and deal with them all positively. On the scales this morning I was 83.8 kilos! As a adult the least I ever weighed was when I was about 23 when i got down to 83 kilos. Another kilo or so and I will be under that 83 kilo mark....which is scary....I have thought so many times over the years why did I get so close to goal but not finish the job off....and instead I ended up at 171 kilos. I dont even know if I honestly thought I would get under 83 kilos...or even under 80 kilos or into the healthy weight range. Its getting so close now...and there is some concern that I will blow it and then commence gaining weight till I reach 171 kilos....but I know that this is up to me....the only person who can truly did this is me and I have to be in complete its just making sure I continually work at this. Tomorrow I am off to lunch to meet up with Tina and Martine which will be good, giving them some more of my clothes that I have outgrown of. Also I updated the process pics link on the right of the there is a new pic in there :)

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