Friday, August 13, 2010

I really am starting to think I am self sabatoging myself. I seem to be getting to this 114 kilos mark and then boom i eat a lil incorrectly and im back up over 115 no longer morbidly obese according to the bli calculators just "very obese"....i know im changing in the sense of where i am now compared to 15 kilos ago...its like getting under 110 kilos is a lil scary...that person ive always known the fat girl...the girl with no energy is changing...i get these messages all the time saying "your awesome" "your a inspiration" and it is all very odd to me...i dont say it to be big headed its just strange...what ive always wanted to be was just "normal" and im getting closer to normal...but yet at the same time the closer i get to it...the more the compliments come in...its just weird if that makes sense.

Im still struggling with this sore voice is croaky today...not sure if i will be in at work tomorrow...8 hours yapping non stop on the phone doesnt tend to help with a sore throat!

Did you go and do PT today...was kinda funny...we were doing some exercise for core...and fiona was like are you feeling that in the abs? im like...not really...and fionas like trying to think of something to make it harder so i will feel it in my stomach and i turn around to her and go "ive got super abs" LOL she was like oh god ive created a monster lmfaoooooooooo My butt is killing me tho...these new exercises she has me doing are friggin painful as...ill be surprised if i can walk tomorrow! LOL

Tonite making pasta carbonara...cant wait yum yum!!!


Natalie said...

You are normal! And..... I can remember you having the same thoughts about getting under 130. Don't let your head get in the way

Tania said...

Kazz, I know it's not easy but try putting yourself in someone else's shoes. If this was my blog (or someone elses) you would be completely inspired by it and would be in awe of what you've achieved! You have done amazing things and you are already normal. I think it comes down to your own self perception for such a long period of time, possibly more about the self talk than the number on the scales.
Perhaps the best way to break through the psychological barrier of 114kgs is to just not weigh in and keep doing what you're doing for a couple of weeks (easier said than done I know) but once you smash through there'll be no stopping you!

Karen said...

Hi Kazz,
I hope this message works! Just remind yourself of what an incredible journey you have been on and the amazing changes that you have made. You are a huge inspiration to so many people, but this journey is for you!! Just take one decision at a time, one meal at a time, one day at a time etc. etc and you will be at goal in no time.