Reflecting...

Everybody knows i love biggest loser...especially the american one (soooooooo much better then the aussie one...shame channel 10 chooses to cut out half the good stuff...but thats another story) and yes i do have the biggest crush on Jillian BUT i find the show SOOOOOOOOOOOO motivating. I was watching the latest episode tonite and Dan who was in last series and they bought him back to continue the journey made the comment "i love the person i am becoming" SNAP referring back to my previous post...yeh im not there yet...i have less the 50 kilos and i will be 80 kilos...holy hell...seriously???? The girl who started off with 96 kilos to lose is now getting down to less then 50 kilos? I have less then 30 kilos and i will be under 100 kilos...i am so much closer to 100 kilos then 200 kilos...3 years ago that wasnt the case. Anyway when Dan made that comment i got thinking..3 years ago...i really had only limited friends...i knew tania and jody...but that was the extent of my friendship base...in that time i have truly become more confident...not with everything but still a lot of things. I was on the treadmill last nite...walking on it at a speed of 4.2 holding on with one hand the other hand i had my mp3 player and i was flicking thru songs and adding them to the favourite list for any i really liked...this from the girl who when i first started training with fiona last august said...im petrified on the treadmill...im petrified of falling or rolling my ankle...yet now it comes to me as easily as it comes walking down the street. I have so many more friends now...i have the ww girls i have met, i have my buds from work especially ryan, joe and ms jaimee...i know people in the lesbian community...i mean for having NO friends too over 100 friends on facebook thats a pretty fine effort (and only ONE of them is a relative - and thats another good news story - yesterday I added my dads sister) while im not perfect on this next point....i dont sit in front of the computer all the time...i do still spend some time there either in my journal or facebook...but...my friends on facebook are my real life...not pretenders in some chat program...and i have to admit i am liking myself more and more...

The other thing is...everything thinks i do so much exercise...yet i dont feel i do. While watching biggest loser...i realised they aim to burn 6000 calories per day...now i have a job and a life and so wouldnt do that in a pink fit LOL but i dont think 4000-6000 per week is that ridiculous. So time for some changes...i have my 3 PT sessions per week...on top of that i want to make the committment to exercise for 60 minutes per day. My feet are much better now the orthotics have helped heaps...tomorrow arvo...its time to get out there and go for a nice long walk...im gonna at some point when its not raining ;) chuck on that mp3 and walk for 30 minutes and then head home...sunday i will head off for a walk too...another 60 minutes.And this is all do able. This is the last week before day light savings...the only days i prolly wont get those walks in is thursday and friday (gym is closed and will be too dark to walk after work plus friday i have Ofest so gawd knows what condition i will be in hehe i am planning a couple of wines that arvo) I also wanna get some books on positive thinking anyone know any good ones? (except dr phil ive read that) books that are not too heavy to read...and get the point across clearly.

I watch biggest loser and i want to challenge myself so much...normally anything out of the gym im sitting there going to fiona...i cant do that...(and pretty much always i have been able to do that) time for me to just start jumping in when fiona gives me these things to do. This journey for me is about to be hugely stepped up..oh....and....under 120 kilos by christmas...i wanna be in my teens on that day...shocking the crap out of the family....looking like a real girl in a summer dress.

Okies off i go

PS and yes Jillian is one big spunk haha ;)