Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Wednesday August 26

Why is it we believe we have to live up to everyone elses expectations? I have been in a miserable mood today. Yesterday in the afternoon my stomach muscles started aching (to the point of a deep breath kills :() then the right side of my neck started hurting so i figured id done some of the exercises wrong and used my neck the wrong way. Anyway slept awful last nite...woke this morning...sent a txt to my nerd boi saying dont pick me up and then rang my boss. Anyway as the day has gone on i have felt more and more miserable. Why when i do a class do i have to end up with a injury...why everytime i start something new do i hurt myself....why after a year at a gym can i not cope with the fitness classes...why after a year at the gym am i not further along in my journey (and i mean fitness wise and weight wise) My plan has always been to EVENTUALLY take tennis lessons and possibly play netball again and i am still so far away from these things. Pisses me off and frustrates the heck out of me to be honest. So why do i have this need to feel i MUST do classes or im not really working out? Anyway so this arvo i go to the docs expecting him to say ive strained a neck muscle and back to work tomorrow...turns out my lymph nodes are swollen and not going back to work till friday. There are so many expectations that because others do it for some reason i feel i have to do them as well...whether its relationships...level of exercise...speed of weight loss...why can i not just go at my own pace...anyway in my mood today...i pulled out the "wellness program" paper work...and really identified a couple of additional challenges that "could" prevent me from getting where i want to be. The good thing has been that normally when i am sick i eat carby foods...and this afternoon whilst in a chitty mood and walking past the deli TWICE to get to the docs i certainly considered going and getting a pie...but so glad i walked straight past and despite the chitty mood ive been in today my eating has been perfect....tonite i am making pasta with chicken, spinach, semi dried tomatoes in light evaporated milk...yum yum


Tania said...

Kazz, has anyone ever told you that you think too much? lol ... it's a glass half full/half empty thing - it's so easy to focus on where you want to go and we always want it NOW. Focus on where you've come from, how much improvement you've made in your fitness and your weight loss and use that to spur you on for each day - you will get there, it's just a matter of time.

And well done on passing up the meat pie - the pasta sounds so much nicer - I guess my dinner invite got lost in the mail? :-)

Jody said...

Dang Tania, you are so right on!'!

"Kazz, has anyone ever told you that you think too much? lol ... "

I know she's heard this one a million times...half a million from me alone!!

Quit being so hard on yourself Karyn, you are coming along great and yes, injuries happen. I am witness to that. Diana says I'm a masochist, cus I don't think I've exercised unless I've got a pain somewhere...hahaha! (I love it when my abs hurt)

I agree with Tania too in that you need to focus on far you've come and quit worrying about where you are not.

I knew you were in a chitty mood yesterday...hahahah! Hadn't talked to u in a week and there you are giving me your one word responses! Pffft Is that how you treat your bfffy??? (Best Friend Forever From Yankville)

Anyway, glad you found your penpal and that THAT put your smile back on your face...luv ya chica!